


Red String and Red Paint

by NatsukiLeeRkoLover



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Comedy, Dirty Talk, Emotional, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Multi, Sex, Sex Dreams, Swearing, The Shield WWE, and straight sex, based on cannon, established deanee, male friendships, that includes gay sex, the word sex is mentioned in these tags alot, why is everyone so in love and in lust?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-07-07 10:18:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 136,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15906288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatsukiLeeRkoLover/pseuds/NatsukiLeeRkoLover
Summary: Roman Reigns was the new Universal Champ. With his friends by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until John Cena is backstage at Raw after Summerslam. And Roman's best kept feelings are ready to be revealed. And work starts becoming too complicated. His best friend starts acting weird. Then there's Finn Balor, who seems to pop up every where.Posted here and on FF





	1. Chapter 1

New Chapter Fic!  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own WWE or any of it's people.  
**Warnings:** Bad words.

* * *

**Monday August 20, 2018**  
  
John Cena was always a supportive person to the younger wrestlers. Unless they were pieces of shit. But that in itself is a different story.  
  
While Triple H was the proud papa of NXT, John saw himself as the proud older brother. He wanted this younger crowd to succeed. Because those who work hard deserve to get the light. And so many of the new generation were hard workers. Alot of them are hard workers even though they were locked in a perpetual state of not even working on tv. It was the dedication that John loved to see.  
  
And whatever John could do to help a superstar get better, he would do.  
  
But he never expected them to thank him publicly. He didn't do it for the online praise. He didn't do it because he needed a helping hand in a popularity contest.  
  
So when John was scanning his twitter feed last night before Summerslam and saw a dirt sheet article about Roman Reigns thanking John Cena, he was surprised. One, he never read dirt sheets, they made shit up sometimes. Two, he hadn't helped Roman in a while. ...Well not really since their last feud.  
  
Roman reminded John alot of himself.  
  
John and Roman had both been products of WWE homegrown training. They had both been cheered before putting themselves in the path of getting the championships. They both got booed out the building. They both loved it. And they both were the picture perfect star of WWE. They both were humble enough to ask for help and take critiques of their work by others in the business.  
  
This was all something John had used against Roman last year. He called Roman a bootleg John Cena, which wasn't entirely wrong at the time. John was on fire that night on Raw last year. He was brutal. Roman had been so visibly nervous.  
  
Of course they had their differences. Family connections and age of course. But Roman was the Cena of today, whether he wanted to be or not. That's how the cards were played and how the WWE universe had decided Roman's fate.  
  
Roman didn't really like John last year when they feuded. Yeah they were cordial with eachother. Hellos and how are yous. Respectful conversations that never were personal enough to be considered friend-like. But the feud had changed that. And after No Mercy, John and Roman always had the pleasure of a friendly conversation about work and a heated conversation about sports whenever they met.  
  
John was remind of how Roman before No Mercy had said in an interview that He didn't care about what John had said to him, because he didn't care. So it didn't hurt him. But now Roman was thanking him. Oh Roman, John smirked, you've grown up. Only took a year.  
  
Okay so occasionally he would read a dirtsheets. But only if it was an interview.  
  
This morning, John took a screen grab of a picture of Roman with the championship up in the air. He posted it on instagram, no caption of course. A show of respect and a show of contentment.  
  
John hadn't been able to be at the show live last night. But he had just gotten time off from filming with Jackie Chan to take a small trip to Brooklyn.  
  
John looked over at the clock. It was 5 in the morning. It was time for a good workout. So he grabbed his gear and out the door he went. Tonight he would be backstage at Raw  


* * *

  
Roman was walking out of the locker room, the red strap in his hands. He was nervous. Sure, he had been heavyweight champ 3 times already in his career. But they never ran long. This title was new. It was gorgeous. And it was his. He wasn't giving it up easily. But he was nervous, still. Because he was going to be a fighting champion while a money in the bank briefcase was still out there. And Roman had the worst luck with money in the bank cash ins. With Seth and Sheamus having successfully cashed in on him, he was sure that the Braun Strowman cash in was on the horizon.  
  
But he had a plan. One he was sure to help him.  
  
The show hadn't started yet, so he was making his way to the gorilla position.  
  
The other wrestlers were making their ways to the monitor area to watch the show and wait for their part to come up. He nodded to some of them. Took a few congratulatory pats to the back. Even stopped to have a quick polite conversation with some road agents.  
  
The Gorilla was busy. They were bustling around to get everything ready for the show. Vince and the other brass sat ready to go at their monitors, head phones connected to everywhere else, road agents, camera truck, commentators.  
  
But after a while it was white noise for Roman. He was getting in the mood. He was getting his head straight.  
  
With 2 minutes left, he did his final check. No boogers coming out, nothing in his teeth, no wardrobe malfunctions.  
  
"Make sure the zipper isn't broken this time."  
  
Roman smirked before he even looked up, because he knew who spoke to him. He'd know that voice anywhere.  
  
"Oh God. Please don't tell me you're here to insert yourself in my opening promo?" he replied, looking up at the casually dressed man.  
  
John was leaning against the nearby wall, arms folded over his plain black t-shirt. It was odd to see someone who had practically lived in that gorilla not wearing his typical attire of sweatbands and colorful t-shirts. And in jean pants! Odd image. Not that Roman hadn't ever seen him in regular clothing, but it just felt out of place here and now.  
  
"Well I was going to congratulate you in person, but if you need me to step in and school you some more," John was grinning. Roman liked the way John smiled. It took up his whole face, eyes glittering and cheeks wrinkled in humor. It was infectious and it made Roman smile back.  
  
"Would really prefer you don't go out an embarrass me on my first night as Universal Champ," Roman said. Then he shrugged saying, "Plus I already did the whole old guys not showing up to work and still getting the perks thing with Brock just now."  
  
Road Dogg tapped Roman on the back, nodding at John in acknowledgement. "Let's do it baby," he said to Roman.  
  
Roman put his hand on John's shoulder and gave a cocky grin. "Got to go open the show, but if you're not busy practicing movie scripts hit me up for lunch tomorrow."  
  
He backed up, turned to the curtain. His music hit and he was out to a sea of boos.  


* * *

  
The end of Raw had the crowd cheering holy shit. They were so hot right now.  
  
Roman grabbed Dean's head under his shoulder and put his other arm around Seth as they went through the curtain to the back. This was such a great night. He knew his back up plan would work. It was the best call he had ever made with Seth and Dean since they'd broken apart years ago.  
  
He was on top of the world.  
  
"Yes! Way to end the show!" Seth yelled, still pumped up. "I told you that we got you're back!"  
  
Dean smirked. "Always will, brother."  
  
After a few pats on the shoulders from the brass and few words with Vince McMahon on the match and the ending results, Roman and the boys went back to the locker rooms.  
  
As they walked, Roman's eye caught the large body and light brown head of John Cena off to the side talking to Finn Balor. Most likely praising his fight tonight. They were laughing and Roman's lips twitched. But he turned off that reaction and just brought his attention back to his boys as they talked about their (second-ish) reunion, hyper and excited.  
  
They were the only ones in the room at the moment. Comfortable with each other after so many years, they all began to change out of their gear.  
  
"Seth, man, do you just carry the vest around all the time, or?" Roman joked, putting the championship on the bench, facing him because he liked looking at it.  
  
"Saved your ass tonight, didn't it," He replied, laughing.  
  
Dean rolled his eyes. "You know for a fact you just wanted to wear it again, don't make it sound like it was necessary."  
  
There was a couple more shots at Seth's obsession with the riot gear they once used and then there was pleasant silence. Their adrenaline high was wearing off.  
  
Roman had decided to take a quick shower while the other guys waited. Seth and Dean had cleaned up after their match earlier and didn't do much sweating out there kicking Braun Strowman's ass, so they just waited. When Roman came back out, hair loose, still dripping, over his bare shoulders, he saw that Dean had opted to laying across the old school bench and Seth was texting away on his phone.  
  
"Okay," Dean said, not moving from his spot, eyes closed. "When is it going to happen?"  
  
Seth looked up from his phone, smirked, and quickly put it in his skinny jean pocket. His curiosity getting the best of him.  
  
Roman dropped the towel from around his waist. He grabbed his jeans from earlier in the day and put on his bare body, skipping underwear. A quick glare at his friends, but then he looked back to his bag, finding some socks. "Have no clue what you're talking about."  
  
"I saw Cena out there," Dean said, pointing up at the door. He sat up and looked at his friend. "I know you want him, badly. When are you gonna make your move?"  
  
A large grin formed on Seth's face. His eyebrows were up and a look of surprise colored his features. "Wait, wait, wait. Rome, you and Cena?"  
  
Dean looked up at Seth like he had 4 heads and then formed and 'o' with his lips. "Oh yeah, we didn't tell you about this."  
  
Roman slipped a shirt on with a low growl. "I wish you would keep your mouth shut half the time, Ambrose."  
  
Seth opened his arms in a questioning manner. "Am I not good enough to know? Romie, I thought we were good, here."  
  
"Not you," Roman sighed. "It's just you never know who could pop in at any second."  
  
Dean idly scratched his chest. "Don't ignore my question."  
  
"Never going to happen," Roman said, firmly. He grabbed his duffel bag and slipped it around his shoulder. "Why in the world would you think going after John Cena is a good idea. For one, he's straight. Two, he'd probably kick my ass the minute I even insinuate that I want him. And three, I talked alot of shit before I fought him at No Mercy. Where in your right mind would you think making a move on Cena would be beneficial to my health or my career?"  
  
Dean put his hands up in defense. "Just asking, big man."

Seth pursed his lips in thought. "Well, I'm not totally sure about straight. John was known to get around back in the day. There were rumors with some of the guys that he'd room with the occasional guy sometimes."  
  
Roman closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair. "Seth, honestly, don't do that. Don't give Dean anymore fuel for the fire and don't try to give me hope."  
  
He opened his eyes to see Dean giving him a small but a rather devious smirk. And Seth was looking like a scolded child who wasn't at all sorry about what he had done. Thankfully he wasn't going to have to ride with these assholes tonight, since some days to relax before the house show circuit started up again and they headed to Canada for a week.  
  
Just as the guys grabbed their gear, the door opened and in walked Finn Balor, still in his gear, no longer drenched in sweat. He smiled at the sight of the newly reunited Shield. He went up to Roman and stuck his hand out. "Great time out there. Crowd was really into it."  
  
Roman smiled, shaking Finn's hand. "Yeah, it was fun. Felt good to get some excitement. I don't get that alot."  
  
Finn chuckled. "Must be hard being the big dog with no fans," he joked, crossing the room to his gear.  
  
"It's okay as long as I got this," Roman replied, hitting his hand on the championship strap in his other hand. "Hey, see you around, man."  
  
As Roman turned to meet the others at the door, Finn stripped off his trunks. Roman took a quick look. No harm in taking a second to admire fine artwork.  
  
Outside the locker room, Renee Young stood, scrolling down her twitter feed, waiting. The second she saw the guys she put her phone away, grabbed her small luggage bag from beside her. Dean put his arm around her tightly and kissed her head. She smiled brightly up at him and returned a kiss to his lips.  
  
"Man," She said as they walked as a group down the hall to the exit. "I felt like a fangirl back here watching you guys."  
  
"Sure it doesn't help when you're married to one of us," Seth chuckled, clapping Dean on the back.  
  
Renee laughed, holding herself closer to her husband. "Made it 200% better. Felt like the luckiest girl on earth."  
  
Dean smirked. He wiggled his eyebrows at her. He might not be jumping up and down with adrenaline anymore, but he was always up for a bedroom tussle with his wonderful wife.  
  
Seth looked dazed for a second. He was staring at Roman's back as the larger man was walking a step ahead of them. "Hey guys. You think that since Cena isn't with Nikki anymore that I got a shot with her?"  
  
Roman rolled his eyes and looked back at Seth from over his shoulder. "Seth, dude. He showed up and she showed up. It's not coincidental."  
  
Seth frowned.  
  
"She didn't know he was going to be here," Renee said. "It made her uncomfortable the whole night."  
  
"Plus everyone shows up to Raw after the major four. It's not uncommon to see Cena here." Dean added.  
  
Seth grinned with hope.  
  
Roman sighed in frustration.  


* * *

  
Roman was at the gym for an early morning session when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He let it go since he was in the middle of renegade rows. When he felt his arms start to give up he stopped. Sitting on the gym floor, he wiped his face with his nearby towel.  
  
Finally, he grabbed his phone out of it's arm band slot.  
  
It was a text from John Cena.  
  
He gulped in some air, as he was still breathing heavily from the exercise.  
  
The text was a the address to some Brooklyn diner with a simple _Lunch?_ written with it.  
  
God. Yeah, Roman had mentioned lunch yesterday. But he was half heartedly offering it. Not because he didn't want to be with Cena, but because he didn't expect the older man to accept. Cena was usually a busy guy.  
  
Regardless of being surprised by the text, Roman agreed to meeting up around 1pm since he had a phone interview at 11:30.  
  
Roman went back to working out for another half hour, mind having trouble to get focused on his form.  
  
Before their feud last year, Roman never really cared about John Cena. He had listened to the grumblings of other superstars in the back who always felt disgruntled by Cena's prescience. And even though, he worked with the older man plenty of times before as part of the shield and the start of his solo career- it wasn't hard for Roman to believe that Cena was a pompous fake smiling back stabber.  
  
Roman hadn't taken the time to actually talk to Cena before their feud. Or even during their feud.  
  
But after he won at No Mercy, Roman really felt appreciative of Cena. The man had pushed him to be a better talker. To think better on his feet. It was a huge match in his career. To beat the face of the company was a huge deal. And Cena must have gained some respect for Reigns, because they started being friendly with eachother.  
  
And Roman was able to ask Cena for advice when he needed it. Cena was always happy to help.  
  
The more time they spent, even in just pointless chatter, the more Roman became attracted to him.  
  
Roman couldn't call it love. He couldn't love someone he wasn't close too. But he was definitely attracted to the older man. He found him almost irresistible. Like a bone this big dog wanted to chew on.  
  
Cena humbled Roman. Made Roman a better wrestler and talker. He pushed Roman and that made Roman feel wanted and respected. Not alot of guys did that in the back. Many didn't like how Roman had climbed to the top. In there opinions, Roman was only there because of his family. But Roman worked hard, and outside of Seth and Dean, no one had made him feel like he deserved it. Except for Cena. Cena raised his hand after their battle, it felt good. Made him feel like he hadn't worked hard for nothing.  
  
And John had told him so after their match, arm wrapped around Roman's sweaty tired body.  
  
And yeah, the attraction could be considered odd to some people. Because John Cena wasn't super handsome anymore. Cena was older. He has taken bumps and bruises with scars to prove it. He wasn't the good looking young guy the girls lusted after anymore. But the attraction Roman felt for John wasn't solely physical. It was a mental attraction. Cena made he feel good.  
  
Now Roman was more nervous then before the show.  
  
It was a weird thing. He could just tell John how he felt. The older man was not the type of guy to scream to the world that another dude is into him. John was a private person, even when his relationship was on TV and his proposal was in front of a packed stadium. He never talked about private details. So, Roman had no doubt that Cena would out him to the world if he did make a move on him.  
  
But John Cena and relationships was problematic. He had just broken up with Nikki Bella after years together. He loved her so much, everyone knows that. He was still hurting from the whole thing. It would be weird for Roman to come onto him now, during the rebound stage, right? Roman didn't want to be a rebound fuck. ...Which would never happen, Roman reminded himself of it.  
  
And Cena was barely ever around anymore. Always filming or promoting something. He made only a few appearances during the year. Just look at Summerslam. He wasn't there for the first time in 15 years. That's incredible. But Roman is sure Cena is scheduled for some shows soon and Australia. So Roman will be seeing him more soon.  
  
Until then, Roman will make the best of this lunch ...date... . Since he won't see the man for another few weeks.  


* * *

  
Roman showed up at the diner maybe 10 minutes late. Brooklyn traffic.  
  
He wore something casual, some workout shorts and sleeveless tshirt. Over that he wore a tapout hoodie, with it sleeves cut off, despite the heat. His hair was in a messy bun, under the hood. Sunglasses covered his searching eyes.  
  
The diner was relatively empty for a Tuesday afternoon. Just a customer at the counter and a couple at a booth near the door. He didn't see John yet. A waitress told him to sit anywhere and he did, waiting for his lunch mate.  
  
He took the hood down and removed the sunglasses, putting them on the table. If anyone recognized him they didn't say anything.  
  
His phone vibrated with a text. He wondered if it was John.  
  
No, just Dean. "Tell him. The worst he can say is no." Sigh. Roman regretted telling Dean about this lunch... date.  
  
He was looking over a menu when John walked in, totally okay with getting his picture taken by fans outside. He grinned when he saw Roman sitting all the way in the back of the small place.  
  
"Hey, sorry," John said. "Got caught up with some fans outside and couldn't get away."  
  
"All good. I didn't wait long."  
  
They chatted easy before placing their order, both steaks with veggies. Diets being followed like good professional athletes.  
  
When John was talking to the waitress about the owner of the place (who apparently Cena had met another time he came here years ago) Roman looked him over. He wore a tshirt and some khaki shorts. He looked well rested despite having traveled in the last 48 hours. John looked good. Happy.  
  
"Hey, last night's match was over, huh," Cena said, taking a sip of his water.  
  
"Yeah, went amazing," Roman replied. "Felt good having the crowd on their feet on a monday night."  
  
"You and Finn have good chemistry in the ring, it'd be great to see you guys give it a go in a story. Have a nice build to it. Plus, I think Finn's in ring ability is pretty nice, so it'll only help you get better."  
  
Roman smirked. "Are you saying I still need help?" Obviously Roman was joking.  
  
John laughed. "Yeah. I am. Always keep improving. You're great now, work to be amazing."  
  
"And then work to become a movie star," Roman said.  
  
"Hey now, I'm an occasional television star too," John replied.  
  
"How's Hollywood treating you?" Roman asked.  
  
"I work less hours then I do with WWE, so I get more time off. But it's weird being away from the show. Never gets easier stepping away from the ring for a while," John said, a small smile on his lips.  
  
Roman nodded. He had heard that Cena had several movies and tv-shows lined up. Amazingly though he was probably right about having more time off, since WWE had John Cena on everything from interviews to movies to matches and traveling all in one day.  
  
"You mean to tell me you're not done with the WWE, yet. And here I was hoping," Roman joked.  
  
John shook his head, smiling with his eyes. "Can't get rid of me that easy, Ro," He said as their food was put in front of them.  
  
During the meal they had more shop talk. How Roman's merch sales were. Talk about things Roman wanted to try out with his promos to make them sound comfortable. Even talking about future Shield plans.  
  
When they were done, they decided to share a taxi, would be easier since they found out they were in the same hotel.  
  
"So when do you guys head out?" Cena asked as they waited for the elevator.  
  
Roman stretched his arms in front of him with a yawn. He was tired and was ready for a nap, but he had some travel stuff to handle, now that Cena had reminded him. "I'm heading home tonight for a few days and then it's up to Canada early for media."  
  
Cena nodded.  
  
"You?" Roman wondered. "Staying in New York?"  
  
John waved his hand. "Nah, I came up just for the shows, then I'm heading home. Have stuff to take of, bills to pay and such. And then I'm back on set for a few more weeks. They gave me some days off because they're changing location for the next scenes."  
  
The elevator opened and John went in first. He pressed the 9 button and Roman reached over to get the 7.  
  
Roman went back to Dean's words all day today. And Seth's "not so straight" comment would stir up hope in him. Roman wasn't sure if he could actually go through with it. He did feel emboldened today. He'll blame it on being the Universal championship.  
  
He might actually do it.  
  
He might just tell John Cena that he liked him. And maybe a relationship wasn't what he was hoping for. He would settle for a fuck. Anything but rejection would be nice, honestly.  
  
The door opened at Roman's floor and the older man was about to say his farewell, when Roman spoke. "Hey mind if we talk in you're room for a sec?"  
  
John recognized the tone. He understood it was about something private. Something he couldn't say in public because he didn't want anyone else to overhear. Maybe Roman was having a problem with someone at work? Maybe Roman needed advice on a really difficult situation? So he nodded and said yes.  
  
The elevator doors shut again and they stood in silence as the elevator got to the top floor, as they walked down the hall and into the large expensive suite. A living space, a bedroom, and a bathroom. Money was nice.  
  
Now or never, Roman thought as Cena closed the door behind them. There was no possible way he could turn back and run away if he didn't want to look like a complete moron. Roman took a deep breath trying to calm his racing heart.  
  
"So what's up?" Cena asked, sitting on the small leather couch.  
  
Roman stayed standing and stuffed his hands in his pockets so John couldn't see him fidgeting. He was going to be blunt about it. He wasn't going to spin some weird story or scenario about someone else. Straight shot confession. No bullshit.  
  
"So um...," Roman started. Yeah, real smooth Reigns, real smooth. He felt a war brewing in his mind. He wasn't in love, he told himself. But he knew that by opening this door to John Cena he would be risking more than his heart, but his future and career. John had alot of sway with Vince McMahon, even if John denied it. And If this all turned extremely south, Roman would just have to settle for mid-card wash up like Miz.  
  
Roman's heart pounded. Okay, so his heart would take a major hit. He never had a problem with relationships before. He never feared telling someone what he thought of them. This felt very different.  
  
Seth's words came into his mind again. He might have a chance, Roman thought. Just say it, get it over with, take the weight off your shoulders. You've been holding this in for a year almost. The worst he can do is punch his teeth in. His heart was urging him to take a step forward. His mind was telling him to get the fuck out. Abort mission.  
  
John leaned forward, elbows resting on knees. This must be pretty serious. "Speak freely. Worrying doesn't solve things," he said to urge Roman to say what he needed to say. He kept a soft reassuring smile on his lips. He stood up, ready to put a hand on Roman's shoulder to ease whatever was making Roman nervous.  
  
Roman instead followed his heart. He took a step and another step and another. Until he was right infront of Cena.  
  
And before either of them knew what Roman was going to do, Roman grabbed Cena's face in his large hands and crushed their lips together.  
  
Roman's heart was speeding in his chest. He'll have a heart attack any minute now and he'll not have to face John's reaction. At least he would have gotten to kiss him. A heart attack right now would be a blessing.  
  
But Lord. This felt good. Just to touch John like this and not have it lead to a submission move during a match. Roman put everything he had into the kiss, his arms tight against his body as he held John's face in place. His eyes were shut because he didn't want to see John's shock, despite feeling it.  
  
Roman let go when he felt when John's hand pushed against his chest.  
  
John took a step back, almost bumping into the couch. His eyebrows were sky high, mouth slightly open like he was searching for words.  
  
Roman took one look at John's face and knew he should have just forgotten this whole thing and went to his room in the first place. He covered his face with his hands, feeling how hot with embarrassment it was. He was such a dumbass loser.  
  
"Okay," John said, holding the word out a little long like he was still thinking. "Not sure what to say, right now."  
  
Roman had a pained look on his face when he finally put his hands down. He stepped back some more. Maybe adding some distance would help? Probably not. "I uh... I'm sorry," Roman apologized in a soft voice. "I really like you. And I am so sorry I didn't think this through at all. I shouldn't have kissed you."  
  
John looked at him with a serious face before it turned soft with pity. "I can't return your feelings, Rome."  
  
Roman nodded, lump in his throat and an ache in his chest. He was ready to walk...run... away when John spoke again.  
  
"This will stay between us," John said. He crossed over to Roman and put his hand on the younger's shoulder, looking him in the eyes. "I hope you can give up on me."  
  
"I'm sorry," Roman said and practically ran out the door to the elevator.  
  
He was such an idiot. Roman should have never listened to Dean and Seth. None of this excruciating embarrassment would have happened if he had never paid attention to their words.  
  
But, no he did, and now his heart hurt. The exact thing he knew would happen, happened. And he felt horrible.  
  
What a dumb thing to do. To think John Cena would ever want to be with Roman Reigns was plain foolish.  
  
With his heart broken, Roman boarded the elevator, went to his floor, and walked down the hall like it was the walk of shame.  
  
As he reached his room, the room next door opened. Finn Balor stepped out. He took one look at Roman's face and his heart dropped.  
  
"You okay?" Finn asked, dropping his bags down so he can put his hands on Roman's arms, as if he was trying to steady his trembling.  
  
Roman nodded slightly and pulled away from Finn's grasp. He took the last steps to the door, unlocked the door with the keycard in his pocket and ducked in. He didn't even turn the lights on.  
  
Finn watched the door for a minute, eyes sad and worried, before he grabbed his bags. He had a flight to catch.  


* * *

  
**This idea came to me the morning after Summerslam when I saw Cena posted a picture of Roman with the title. Not sure where this is going to go, but I have decent feelings. It'll follow the WWE timeline obviously. Also Roman isn't married in this fic, for story's sake  
I hope you guys enjoyed.  
Please Review. Tell me what you think.  
  
Love Natsuki Lee**


	2. Chapter 2

The smog in China was kind of amazing. Dense.   
  
John missed the air in America. Especially at home in Florida. But he still was working on this movie. Which he couldn't complain about. Working with Jackie Chan was great. And his stunt team worked with him so he could lean down. He'd be in the ring when WWE came to Shanghai for a house show.   
  
It felt great to know he'd be in the ring. It'd been a while and he missed it dearly. He hadn't been in there since April for the Greatest Rumble. He could not wait to feel the mat under his sneakers. That's why he did that small video for Twitter about the Australia show. He was excited. Ready to show the world that he had added a move to the 5 moves of doom.   
  
Though, John had been in a weird mood lately. He was being super inspirational on Twitter. Stuff about giving it your all and being comfortable with yourself. Honestly he was finding a little zen in his life there in China. But he was thinking alot about other stuff.   
  
After Brooklyn, John had taken a quick stop to Florida, taken care of a few things there like bills. He should hire someone for that, really, but he followed enough international sports to know that was probably not the best choice for him.   
  
It was a little heart breaking to see that Nikki had taken everything out of the mansion already. She only left a picture of them together and the keys to the car he had gifted her years ago. She should have kept it, John thought. He had gotten it for her and all. Of course, the engagement ring was in John's safe. She had given that back the minute they finally called it quits.   
  
He had seen her backstage at Summerslam, but John knew to leave her alone. He made sure they didn't cross paths. And Brie Bella had made sure of the same on their end. John knew Brie didn't always like John, so she was the first person he expected to steer Nikki in another direction if John was around.   
  
John couldn't lie. He had wanted to see Nikki. He always wanted to see Nikki. He still loved her so much.   
  
But love was funny.   
  
John looked in the mirror. His body was leaner. You could see it even in his face. This would be considered a revenge body if he had been petty enough to feel that way. He felt good. Lonely. Missing the comfort of Nikki's beautiful smile. But he still felt good.   
  
Of course, he knew someone else probably feeling just as lonely and it was making he feel bad.   
  
The evening in his Brooklyn hotel room had John Cena feeling horrible.   
  
But what was he supposed to do?   
  
John had no interest in the younger man. Yeah, sure John would admit to some nights in his younger years where he'd find another lonely and horny coworker and they'd fuck. That was nothing more than stress relief. Nothing more then casual sex. And those guys he had been with years ago were sworn to secrecy. They wouldn't risk their places in the company in order to bring down the face of the company. The world might be alot more open to sexuality, but WWE was in an old world mentality still. So guys would fool around when the road got lonely. Not like there were enough women in the roster. Nor were they really interested in their male coworkers, since most of those lovely ladies were married and true to themselves.   
  
Plus who in their right mind would believe that John Cena screwed the occasional male coworker back then. No one. Not a damn soul.   
  
That's besides the point.   
  
The point was that John had no desire to be with Roman. He had never had any desire to do more than anything casual with another man. He loved women. He loved Nikki. He still loved Nikki.   
  
But that would pass with time, he hoped.   
  
As would Roman's feelings for him, he hoped too.   
  
Though, John would admit to himself as he flexed in the mirror, Roman was really good looking. Beautiful even. Long dark hair. Pouty lips.   
  
Lips that had kissed him roughly. Lips that would look really nice around his-   
  
John sighed. Great now he was horny. It had been a while since he had sex with someone.   
  
Good old reliable Righty the right hand would have to do.   
  


* * *

  
**Raw August 27, 2018**   
  
The Shield boys were at the gym the morning of Raw in Toronto. Seth and Dean had gotten in the night before, while Roman had been there for media since Saturday.   
  
Roman was in a horrible mood. He was practically growling as he did pull-ups. His upper lip was even curling. It was a little intimidating.   
  
Seth stood near Dean taking a drink of his protein shake. "What did you do to him?" Seth asked Dean quietly.   
  
Dean gave Seth a look. "Why would you think I'm the reason for this?" He waved his hand in Romans direction.   
  
"Because you kept pushing the Cena thing to him and now he's completely ready to rip someone in half."   
  
"It's been a full week since that, what makes you think he's mad about Cena?"   
  
Seth narrowed his eyes at him. "Because Roman wouldn't look this pissed off over nothing."   
  
Roman let go of the bar and landed on his feet he turned to his friends and rolled his eyes. "Will you guys shut the fuck up?"   
  
"Ro, my man, you're really getting into the whole big dog thing today, and that is great," Seth started. "But are you okay?"   
  
Roman glared at them. He didn't speak though, he just moved onto the next circuit.   
  
Dean pressed his lips together. "Okay, yeah, this is probably about John."   
  
Seth looked at Dean, expecting an explanation. "What haven't you told me?"   
  
"They had lunch last Tuesday. All I know it I texted him and told him to go for, you know." Dean shrugged. "But Roman didn't tell me what happened when I texted him that night to find out what happened. He's ignored my texts since then."   
  
"In other words, you pressured him to tell Cena he likes him and it most likely went horribly. God, this is not going to go well."   
  
Seth sighed. He made his move over to the squat rack. He might as well get his daily workout out of the way. This was going to be a long day.   
  


* * *

  
They were at the arena before the show. Seth and Dean had gone to do whatever they needed to do for that night. Roman was waiting to get out to the ring and confront Braun Strowman.   
  
Music pumped into his earbuds. It was some really angry underground rap track. Fueling his feelings even more.   
  
The only thing Roman had been listening to lately was hard shit like this or R &B breakup songs from the 90s and 00s. There was no in between. There was no other feelings.   
  
Because Roman was swinging between anger and sadness.   
  
Anger that he had been so stupid. Anger that he had risked his entire career over sexual attraction. Anger that he had taken the advice of his friends on such a personal matter. He was fuming at himself.   
  
Sadness that he had been turned down. Sadness that he had opened a door of vulnerability only to have it slammed in his face. Sadness that he still liked John Cena even after being rejected.   
  
God he was shaking at how pissed off he was.   
  
The road agent cued him to get ready. He tossed the earbuds and his phone at him and went to the curtain. Today was going to be a long day.   
  


* * *

  
After Seth's match, the guys sat in the locker room instead of in the monitor area. Roman didn't want to socialize and Seth had hurt his arm during the match. Dean and Roman still had matches that night, but a road agent would come find them in time.   
  
"Alright, Ro, I'm hurt here so be nice and tell me why you look like you might commit murder soon," Seth said, eyes looking at Roman like a child pleading their parents for something.   
  
Roman grunted. No vocal response.   
  
Dean rolled his eyes. "What happened after lunch with John? Did you tell him?"   
  
Roman slowly looked up at Dean, his lips curled up in anger.   
  
"I'll take that as a yes," Seth muttered.   
  
Dean raised his hands up in defense. "Hey, don't take this out on me."   
  
Roman leaned his head forward like he didn't hear Dean right. "I will do that, because I took you're dumb advice and looked like a fool in the end."   
  
He stood and started pacing. "I took your damn advice and told Cena how I felt. Yeah great idea. He turned me down without even a second thought. Now I look like a fool. I told you it was a bad idea. I told you he would never be interested in being with me, not even for a quick fuck. But nooooooo, I had to take the advice of the neighborhood lunatic. How exactly can I ever look at him again? You know for a fact that he's going to be around next month. And when he sees me he's going to think 'oh look it's the poor guy I turned down after he kissed me.' Just great. Can't wait."   
  
Dean sat there looking up at Roman with a straight face.   
  
Seth looked at the floor with wide eyes.   
  
"Okay, you probably should have gone with your gut, I'll admit that," Dean said. Then he smirked. "But hey you got to kiss him though, right? That's a plus."   
  
Seth stood between the men as Roman rushed forward, ready to throttle Dean. "Okay. Okay. Dean, shut up."   
  
Roman went to sit down, taking calming breathes.   
  
Seth looked at Roman with weary eyes. "What did Cena say to you?"   
  
Roman ran his hands through his hair. "That he wasn't interested. Couldn't reciprocate my feelings. That he wouldn't tell anyone."   
  
"Okay, that's not all bad." Seth finally sat down, now that he was sure Roman wasn't going to punch Dean. "At least he let you down easy and didn't punch you or something."   
  
Dean scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry, Rome, I shouldn't have pushed you to do that. Punch me. Get it out."   
  
It was Roman's turn to roll his eyes. "No. It's my fault. I'm the one who ended up making the final decision to tell him how i felt."   
  
A knock sounded at the door and a road agent stuck his head in. "Dean you're up on deck."   
  
Dean waved off the road agent. He looked back at Roman when the road agent left. "Hey man, now you know though. Now you can just find someone else. Find someone to fuck and release that weight you got on your shoulders."   
  
He left after that.   
  
Seth patted Roman on the shoulder. "Maybe Dean's right. ... This time at least. You now know John Cena is unattainable. You tried and you need to move on. Find someone to lust over. No more what ifs."   
  
Roman nodded. "Yeah. He's right I know."   
  
Both men exited the locker room and joined the rest of the roster at the monitors to watch their brother wrestle Jinder Mahal. The match didn't take long. Dean was on a roll with his serious demeanor. Before the match was over, Roman went to the Gorilla. He did his final check, making sure his gear was in order, checking the mirror.   
  
When Dean made it back through the curtain, Roman bumped his extended fist. Dean smirked, eyes hard. "I'll watch from here. Gotta make sure you don't get your ass handed to you."   
  
The match went on. Roman was getting a fine beating. He just couldn't get the tag.   
  
Seth had joined Dean at the Gorilla Position. They watched the match from the monitors the brass were working off of. They were ready to go out there and help him, but they knew Roman needed to do this without them. It didn't help them relax though.   
  
And then Braun turned on Roman. It wasn't a surprise. But it was worse that he teamed up with Ziggler and Mcintyre.   
  
"We're going out there," Seth said. "Cue our music."   
  
Road Dogg got up from where he was sitting next to them and put a hand on Seth's chest. "Seth, you're injured. We can't let you go out there."   
  
Seth's jaw tensed and his eyes went hard. "I'm fine, let me go."   
  
Road Dogg shook his head.   
  
"Fine then cue my music, I'll go out alone," Dean growled. The music tech did as growled at. Dean rushed out the curtain.   
  
Seth watched as Dean was nearly brought down in a second. "Let me go. Cue my music. If I get fucked up because of this then I'll suspend my own damn self."   
  
Road Dogg looked at Vince. Vince didn't even look up, just told the music tech to go ahead. And Seth's music played and he took his injured arm and ran right at Braun. No fear.   
  


* * *

  
The show was over and the Shield boys had practically dragged themselves out of the ring.   
  
They grabbed their gear from the locker room. Almost everyone was heading out the door by now. But the guys knew they'd hear it forever if they didn't get checked by the medics after the beating they got.   
  
So, with suitcases and bags in tow, the boys went to the medic.   
  
Roman walked in first, completely exhausted. He dropped his stuff at the door and sat at one of the beds and laid down. Dean stayed standing, leaning against the wall near the door, texting Renee about where he was. And Seth sat in a nearby chair, nursing his arm.   
  
The doctor looked at them and sighed. "Dean you first," He said as he walked up to them. "Anything hurt?"   
  
"Nah, just the same old bumps and bruises," Dean replied, feeling tired, but fine.   
  
The doctor checked Dean's eyes with his mini flashlight. He then checked Dean's range of motion. "You're fine. Get out."   
  
Dean smirked. "So mean today, doc."   
  
"I've had a busy night," the doctor grunted, motioning his head the other end of the room.   
  
Roman turned his head to the side and looked for what the doctor had motioned to. Finn Balor lay face down on one of the beds, headphones on to block the noise. His mid-section was bandaged up and he had ice on his back to help stop the bruising forming from the chair shot he took earlier.   
  
"And let's not forget, I had already seen you in here earlier Seth," the doctor added. He moved over to Seth, kneeling to eye level. He took Seth's arm in his experienced hands and moved it gently. "Does it feel any worse?"   
  
Seth shook his head. "Same as before."   
  
The doctor nodded. "Good. Just put some ice on it. If it feels worse overnight, call me right away."   
  
He let go of Seth's arm and turned to Roman on the bed. He just looked the man over. Then he turned back to Dean and Seth. "Yeah, guys, go ahead and go. Roman's gonna be a while."   
  
Seth and Dean patted Roman's leg and told him to text them if anything came up. They grabbed their stuff and left the room, meeting Renee in the hallway.   
  
Roman told the doctor that his left side had taken some stiff stomps from Mcintyre and that his neck ached from that last slam.   
  
"Okay, keep this around your neck while I check on Balor. I'll be back in a minute to check your ribs." The doctor handed him a heated blanket and went over to Finn on the other side of the room.   
  
Roman put the blanket around his neck. He grabbed his headphones and phone and just pressed play from the last thing he was listening to. Then he closed his eyes and tried to relax his aching body.   
  
What a week he's had.   
  
First he completely made a fool out of himself and got his heart shattered. Now his body ached enough to match his heart.   
  


* * *

  
Seth heard her before he could see her. He looked to the side and saw Nikki Bella laughing with her sister as they talked to Trish Stratus.   
  
"Hey, I'll catch up with you guys," Seth said, as he walked off.   
  
Dean and Renee looked back towards him. Dean smirked. Thank God, he was married already. The chance was definitely nothing compared to the prize. He kissed Renee's temple and they walked off towards the parking lot.   
  
Seth stopped near the ladies and happily greeted them, grinning. "Hey!"   
  
Nikki grinned up at him, eyes shining. "Well, if it isn't Seth Freakin' Rollins."   
  


* * *

  
The doctor came back to him and pressed an ice pack to his ribs, making Roman jump since he hadn't seen it coming. He opened his eyes to thank the doctor, but it was Finn who stood next to him.   
  
Roman took the headphones out of his ears and waited for Balor to say something.   
  
Balor gave a shrug of indifference. "Doc had to go fill out paperwork, told me to bring this to you." He sat heavily on the chair Seth had sat in earlier. He smirked at Roman, but it didn't reach his eyes since he was in pain. He wrapped an arm around his waist unconsciously. "From the top of the world one week, to the medic's chair the next."   
  
"You can thank your friend Strowman for that."   
  
"Not my friend. I tend not to make friends with the competition."   
  
"And yet, you're here talking to me."   
  
"I did say competition."   
  
Roman's lips curled into a smile. "I think Corbin knocked your head a little too much, 'cause you're forgetting that I beat your ass last week."   
  
Finn hummed contently. He found a bit of delight in the way Roman had phrased that. Roman beating his ass had a different meaning in his head. He leaned his head against the wall and scanned his eyes over Roman's body, eyes half-lidded. "After I get rid of Corbin, I'm coming back for my title. And I'll be taking it home with me."   
  
Roman chuckled. It wasn't bitter or condescending, just amused. "I love the challenge."   
  
The doctor came over and checked Roman's side, pressing and prodding. He assessed the minor bruising with his experience. "Nothing broken. No bruised bones. Which is good." The doctor then helped Roman to sit down. He took the heated blanket from around Roman's neck and put his hands there. He guided Roman to move his neck side to side, back and forth, facing each and every way. "A little stiff. But you're fine champ."   
  
Roman sighed in relief. They were going to be traveling pretty roughly this week. From England to Japan to China in only a few short days. Being injured was not going to make this trip any easier.   
  
"Alright boys, I'm done with you. You know the deal, hot and cold are your friends. Stretch as best you can. And call me if things take a turn."   
  
The doctor hurried off to finish his paperwork, leaving Roman and Finn sitting there.   
  
They must have been the last two wrestlers in the building. It was late now and Roman was sure the guys were sleeping at the hotel by now. He hopped off the medic bed and grabbed his gear from the floor, bending gingerly. He noticed Finn struggling to carry his duffel bag. No serious injury, but it still hurt like a bitch.   
  
"Need help?" Roman asked, eyeing Finn. Finn looked up at him, then shook his head. "Suit yourself."   
  
Finn smirked. "You're help might just be considered the blind leading the blind."   
  
A smirk, eyes sparkling. Roman was amazingly beautiful. Like he was some gorgeous prince from an ancient civilization. Finn's eyes raked over that cocky smirk. The way those dark locks of hair fell around Roman's shoulders, now dry and silky. To Finn, though, he looked most beautiful when off guard- when he wasn't putting on a show for Raw or when he wasn't keeping a tough face. It was when he was relaxed and observant that Finn wanted to just grab the Samoan man and do a million things to him.   
  
"Did you drive here?"   
  
Roman's words broke Finn from his daze. They were walking towards the parking lot, nodding their goodbyes at still working crew. Roman was just a step ahead.   
  
"No, came with Gallows and Anderson," Finn said, an embarrassed small smile on his lips. "I got my American license, but I like it when other people drive."   
  
Roman looked at him from over his shoulder. His eyes glinted. "Oh yeah? Are you sure you're not just lying because you're a bad driver."   
  
"If I'm a bad driver then that reflects badly on the American department of motor vehicles more than it does me. I passed my road test."   
  
Roman looked back ahead. "That's true."   
  
Finn shrugged to himself. "Just not comfortable driving around on the opposite side of the road."   
  
Roman nodded. "Uh-huh. Sure. Make excuses." He gave a sly grin.   
  
Finn bit his tongue. He could say so many things about his driving skills. But most of what he had to say had nothing to do with driving a car and more driving body parts. But that wasn't a sane idea, so he kept quiet.   
  
Roman took a deep breath when they got outside. The fresh air filling his lungs. "Guess we can call a cab or something."   
  
The cab was called and came within the 5 minutes of peaceful silence the two men shared.   
  
They sat quietly, watching the Toronto lights through the window.   
  
Finn's eyes flickered to Roman's warm body beside him. Roman seemed lost in thought as he stared out the window. The bigger man was no longer smirking or grinning. But he wasn't relaxed either. He seemed weary. Eyes sad. Jaw tense.   
  
He cleared his throat to get Roman's attention. "I've been meaning to ask you," Finn started, seeing Roman looking at him in question. "Are you doing okay? Last week, at the hotel, you looked like... like you'd been torn apart."   
  
Finn noticed Roman's lips twitch. He noticed the flash of emotion in Roman's eyes. He noticed the larger chest, clad in a t-shirt, rise and fall slowly. And Finn's actions almost mimicked Roman's as he felt the air in the cab change.   
  
Roman turned his eyes back to the window. "It was nothing. Just a bad day."   
  
"I feel like I shouldn't believe that," Finn muttered more to himself more than anyone else. Hesitantly, he put his hand on Roman's shoulder, gentle. "You ever need an ear to talk to, I'm around. It's no good holding onto that stress."   
  
Roman looked at Finn and stared at the kind eyes for a few heart beats. He nodded and gave the weakest of appreciative smiles. "Thanks."   
  
The rest of the way was back to quiet. The minute they got to the hotel and checked in, the men separated ways. They would most certainly see eachother again on the plane to London. If not, the house shows were promising. Either way, they only had a few hours before having to board their planes to London. And they both needed rest.   
  


* * *

  
Roman took a picture of Dean beside him on the plane ride to London. When he posted it on Twitter Dean gave him a look. "You're feeling better."   
  
Roman thought for a second. He made an unsure face, shrugging his shoulders. "Yeah, I guess. Guess getting my ribs kicked in helps with the emotional shit."   
  
Dean chuckled. "That's my type of fucked up thinking, Ro."   
  
Roman couldn't help but smile seeing Dean's adorable face beside him. It was so good to have his best friend back on the road with him. Even if he did cause his fair share of problems for Roman.   
  
He leaned his head back, music playing to sound out the plane. Eyes closed and he slept. He was about to have a really busy week as the defending champ.   
  
"Are you listening to Brian Macknight?" Dean asked, voice dripping with judgement. Roman just flipped him off.   
  


* * *

  
_Okay. so chapter 2. Still feeling my way with this story.  
**Love Natsuki Lee**_


	3. Chapter 3

This international tour was extremely tiring. A full week to travel from Toronto to London to Osaka to Shanghai then back to the states for Columbus on Raw. And everytime they had a show where The shield was, Braun, Drew, and their pet chihuahua Dolph were waiting. It was becoming such a hassle. But Roman and the boys weren't going down to the likes of Braun and crew without a fight.   
  
They had gotten to Osaka already exhausted. Roman was scheduled to face Braun, the championship on the line again. The day had already been endless with media and autograph signings, but it was the responsibility that came with the strap he hung around his shoulder.   
  
After getting attacked by Drew and Dolph for what felt like the millionth time that week, Roman was saved by his brothers. And they were able to walk backstage with their heads held high. Honestly, it boggled Roman's mind why Dolph and Drew would attack him and give him the win via DQ. It would only make Braun lose his chance to win. He wondered if those 2 idiots even used their brains.   
  
They didn't have much time to relax in Osaka though, so most of the wrestlers went out after the show before heading to the airport for their flight to Shanghai. While out eating with Dean and Seth, Finn walked into the restaurant with a few Japanese wrestlers. Probably close friends from his New Japan days.   
  
They sat at the other end of the restaurant, but Roman could hear the men laughing and telling stories. Fans would come up to Finn's table and asked for autographs and pictures. They would come over to The shield, but the atmosphere was different. With Finn they were super excited. Happy to see someone who wrestled for years in Japan. Roman admired Finn's ability to interact with fans. Roman had fans of course, mostly younger kids, but he was booed out of the building most nights. So he always found an inkling of him being jealous of fan favorites.   
  
Hours later they were on the plane to Shanghai. They took advantage of the 2 hour ride and napped. They would get a few more hours in Shanghai before the day continued with media before the show.   
  
Backstage at Shanghai, the wrestlers were buzzing. John Cena was in the building and ready for action. Cena's excitement was contagious and most of the roster was awaiting Cena's new finisher, not having seen it before.   
  
The Shield boys watched from backstage on a monitor near the Gorilla Position as Lashley, Cena, and Balor teamed up against Mahal, Corbin, and Elias. Roman could tell Cena was having a fun time out there. He was grinning and putting on the theatrics he only saved for house shows. When Cena got the pinfall there was a short celebration. And then he started speaking to the crowd in Mandarin.   
  
That was when Roman Reigns stood and walked back to the locker room, his best friends following.   
  
Roman was ignoring John. He was extremely sure he did not want any interaction with Cena. He couldn't face the older man. How would he be able to? Just looking at Cena made Roman want to punch himself in the face at how embarrassed he felt.   
  
Roman could slam his head against a wall right now at how embarrassed he was feeling just thinking about his confession. He was such a damn idiot. He just prayed that he wouldn't have to get in the ring with John Cena anytime soon. Thank God this was only for one night and then WWE would leave China and John would stay to finish filming. Roman couldn't deal with seeing John Cena more than he already had that night.   
  
"I mean," Dean said to Seth, catching Roman's attention. "All that hype for a face shot?"   
  
"Dean," Seth muttered in warning.   
  
"No, I have to say this," Dean said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "The new move was fucking anti-climatic. And then of course Cena has to go address the crowd in fucking Mandarin. He kisses ass in different languages."   
  
Seth Rollins rolled his eyes. He looked at Roman's tense shoulders. He made a face at Dean that warned the other man to shut his mouth or else.   
  
Dean sighed. "Fine. Whatever," he mouthed to Seth.   
  
They were silent for a second and then Dean spoke up again. "No fuck that, I get to talk shit, he hurt my brother. Fuck John Cena and the horse he rode in on. I'll fucking pee in his coffee if I have the chance."   
  
Seth face-palmed.   
  
Roman's lips pull into a small smirk. It was always good to have Dean on your side.   
  


* * *

  
**Raw. Monday September 3, 2018**   
  
Roman had gotten to the arena early after some photoshoot stuff and hours of pre-signing autographs. He dropped his stuff off at the men's locker room and then went to find a road agent to find out what was going to happen.   
  
He wasn't scheduled for a match, but Roman knew well that could always change. This was Monday night Raw. Anything could happen. The agent did tell him that Braun was going to go out and open the show. Roman knew that meant to be on stand by. He'd find his opening and repay Strowman for last Monday's attack.   
  
Roman's stomach rumbled under the loose muscle shirt he had on. He decided to go get something from catering before going to sit and watch the crew finish putting up the ring. Those guys were the real MVPs. He hoped they even had time to sleep with all the putting up and taking down and traveling they had done this past week.   
  
When he got to catering, there was only one other person there. It was the man that always seemed to be around. Finn Balor.   
  
No really. It was like Finn was always around. It was a little weird. Roman hadn't really paid enough attention before to notice if Finn had always been around like this. But lately Finn caught his eye whenever he showed up. Must be his nice ass. It drew Roman's eyes to it like a magnet.   
  
He grabbed a plate full of whatever looked appetizing, getting some good carbs in there to fuel his night. Roman sat in front of Balor. Mostly because if Roman sat anywhere else it would look like he was ignoring Finn, and Roman was not at all ignoring Finn. The opposite. He wanted to sit with the indie prince.   
  
Roman respected Finn. He had so much experience in the ring. Finn had stories and advice that Roman would be grateful to hear about. It was like when Roman first teamed with Seth and Dean, he took their advice and their knowledge to better himself. Finn would be the perfect person to turn to for in-ring advice. And everyone could see that Finn brought out the best in Roman in the ring. Their match the other week had been amazing. It had been exciting.   
  
The match had been so great that it opened Roman's eyes to how fun Finn Balor was to be in the ring with. And it opened his eyes to how sexy Finn's body was. He had seen Finn's body many times before over these last few years, but after that match, Roman was drawn to it.   
  
Finn looked up at Roman and gave a dorky grin.   
  
Maybe Dean was right. Roman needed to find someone to fuck the stress away. And Roman was positive Finn Balor would be able to take all he had to give.   
  
Well, of course, Roman mused, that is if Finn Balor even swung that way. Lord knew Roman had had enough of kissing straight guys.   
  
Finn had been mindlessly scrolling down fanart that he had been tagged in when Roman sat in front of him. He grinned at the man, putting his phone on the table, face down, not caring to be bothered by notifications. "You're here early," Finn commented.   
  
Roman hummed. He tied his hair into a high messy bun, to Finn's dismay. Finn really loved it when Roman had his hair down. He just wanted to run his hand threw the long dark strands and grab it in a firm hold. He would do it right now if Finn was sure he wouldn't get punched in the face.   
  
"Autographs," Roman said before shoving a fork full of salad in his mouth. He looked up at Finn, who was watching him eat. Finn didn't look away at the eye contact, like he was challenging Roman in some way. Roman shook the thought away and swallowed his food. "What are you doing here early?"   
  
Finn shrugged a little. "Well I obviously needed to come early for hair and makeup," he smirked, eyes narrowing with a twinkle.   
  
Roman smirked back. "Sarcasm suits you." He took another bite of food. Finn sat there quietly and just looked around the backstage area that had been transformed into a makeshift cafeteria. Roman looked at him freely for a second. "You're quiet though. I'm not used to that with Dean and Seth."   
  
Finn turned his eyes back to Roman. "I prefer that my actions do the talking."   
  
Roman nodded. He looked down at his plate and took another bite of food. He heard shuffling and a chair moving back, when suddenly a pair of lightly tanned muscular legs were propped up on the table, crossed at the ankle.   
  
His eyes ran up the legs. They lingered on the small section of thigh that was peaking out from underneath the loose basketball shorts. It was that sexy section that Roman knew would lead to a pert ass. After a few seconds on those legs, -a second too long probably, Roman thought- Roman's eyes traveled the rest of the way up the body to find Finn looking directly back at him.   
  
Well, Finn Balor like letting his actions speak for him. And his actions were screaming at Roman to fuck him.   
  
Roman knew he wasn't misreading this. It was fucking obvious. Right in his face. Finn Balor was blatantly flirting with him. And Roman knew he was sex deprived at the moment and could be imagining the bedroom eyes Finn was giving him right now.   
  
But Roman couldn't help licking his bottom lips, eyes moving back to those toned legs on display.   
  
Finn started to run a hand down his leg when he heard loud voices. He put his hands in his pocket and switched gears in his mind, putting a friendly grin on his face. He greeted the superstars walking in.   
  
Roman had to stop from scowling. What a fucking time for people to come early. He gave a very quiet sigh, refraining from banging his head on the table in defeat and plastered a calm look on his face. He turned around to see Titus, Apollo Crews, and Dana Brooke walking towards them. They were loudly talking about the game night episode they had filmed this yesterday.   
  
Dana gave a sweet hello to the guys, setting her phone at the table before going back to get something to eat. Apollo sat down in the seat next to where Dana had set her phone. He looked between Finn and Roman a slow smile spreading on his face. "Hey guys! How's it going?"   
  
Finn shrugged his shoulders. "Ready for the night to start."   
  
Roman just nodded.   
  
Titus had been busy texting on his phone. When he looked up and saw Finn's feet on the table he scoffed. He slapped Finn's feet off the table with his large hand. "Your mama is a nice lady so I know she didn't allow you to have your damn feet on the table when people are eating."   
  
Finn just started laughing and put his hands up in defeat. "You're right. You're right. I'm actually hungry now too. If you'll excuse me." Finn stood and went over to the buffet, but Roman had caught that subtle feeling.   
  
When Finn walked by him he had brushed his fingers against Roma's arm. It had been such a deft movement that no one even noticed it.   
  
But it sent shivers down Roman's spine.   
  


* * *

  
The Shield boys had had enough of Braun Strowman's yapping. Yeah yeah yeah, they got it. Violence and terror. Pack of your own. It made the guys roll their eyes.   
  
Their music started playing and they made their way through the crowd for the first time in forever. Seth noticed the superstars coming out from the back first. They took out the guys who tried to stop them and were able to get in the ring. But then there was chaos.   
  
The Shield boys were being torn apart from their attack on Braun, Drew, and Dolph. It only fueled them more.   
  
At some point, Finn put himself in front of them and tried to calm Roman down. He said something about Corbin being on Braun's side. Not to push this too far. But Roman didn't hear him. He could only hear the anger coursing through his veins. He was sure the Kill Bill sirens were playing somewhere. He was that angry.   
  
Next thing he knew he was running after Dean and Seth up the ramp to the back stage where they tried to catch up with the superstars who had taken their 3 enemies.   
  
But the minute they got backstage, Columbus's finest were waiting for them. The police took hold of Roman, Seth, and Dean pulling them to a police van. They tried to fight out of their grip but they couldn't get free. The male superstars surrounded them as they were pushed into the back of the van.   
  
The sides were divided. The ones against them were gleefully waving goodbye at them and the few that liked the Shield boys were arguing back.   
  
Roman vaguely remembers seeing Dean spit at one of the officers before Baron stood there in front of them spewing some bullshit about doing the best he can.   
  
Dean angrily kicked at Baron Corbin, just missing.   
  
And then the doors closed and they were moving.   
  
Dean was cussing away. Seth was struggling against the restraints. But Roman sat there, a dark anger rolling off of him. He'd get out of this and come after Braun and his little bitches. The big piece of shit had to know that even the police wouldn't keep the Shield from coming after him.   
  


* * *

  
Renee Young sat at the announcers table ready to jump up and run for the door. Her husband had just been arrested, for God's sake. But she knew she had to do her job. If she just got up and told Corey to fuck off while she went to find a lawyer for Dean and the guys, she was sure to be fired.   
  
Her memory recalled years ago when Stephanie Mcmahon had been arrested and Triple H had commented that it would take her a while to get processed, he could wait till the end of the show. Renee channeled her inner cerebral assassin and told herself that it would take a while for them to be processed. That when the show ended, she'd be able to get to her husband and get him out of jail.   
  
But that scenario became farther from the truth the more the night went on as Mike Rome's updates came rolling in.   
  
How the fuck were they getting processed this quickly on a damn holiday!?   
  


* * *

  
The Shield boys stood in front of the judge, hands still cuffed. Dean groaned when he saw the judge, Seth and Roman just looked at him.   
  
"Well if it isn't my old friend Moxley," The judge sighed with a smile.   
  
"Hey," Dean waved as best he could with his hands cuffed. "Been a while, George. How's the wife and kids?"   
  
"They're good," the judge replied. He looked over the case papers.   
  
Dean could feel Seth and Roman's glares on his skin. He looked at them and shrugged like it was no big deal "I was raised like 2 hours away guys. This is not my first rodeo."   
  
"You have to be fucking kidding me," Seth mumbled under his breathe. "How many times did you get to this point, Dean. You're on a first name basis with the judge."   
  
Dean just shrugged, unable to count off the top of his head.   
  
Roman looked up towards the ceiling like he was looking for a sign from God that he wouldn't be incarcerated because he had to be best friends with a guy who obviously had a criminal record.   
  
The Judge took off his glasses and looked at Dean. "Well, nothing out of the ordinary."   
  
Dean grinned. "Hey, at least I'm sober this time and not disrupting paying customers by screaming Sweet Caroline in their faces while I very publicly drink."   
  
The judge nodded with a chuckle. "Still can't believe you wrestled drunk and won your match."   
  
"Those were the days," Dean nodded fondly.   
  
Roman groaned. The poor public defender next to them looked like he was ready to just pack up and call it quits. First he had to work on a damn holiday and now he had to be stuck defending an obvious nut case.   
  
The judge smiled briefly. Then his face went serious. "The evidence is pretty clear. And I see here you even spit on an officer as you were getting arrested."   
  
"I missed," Dean said casually. "I was aiming at the acting general manager."   
  
Seth rolled his eyes. "We're fucked," he whispered to his shoes.   
  
"How do you all plead?"   
  
The public defender looked at the guys and whispered to them. "It'll be better for you guys to plead guilty. Don't bringing this to court. You'll get a fine to pay and can be let out on bail."   
  
Dean nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know how this works."   
  
The defender looked at the judge and announced that the Shield boys pleaded guilty to all 3 charges.   
  
The judge set bail and the amount the 3 men had to pay to cover the damages they apparently made.   
  
The guys were escorted back to a holding cell.   
  
Seth and Roman just stared at Dean, exhaustion in their eyes.   
  
"After we get out of here," Seth said, voice low and deeper then usual, "I might just get the steel chair and beat the piss out you with it."   
  
Roman raised his hand. "Count me in."   
  
"First," Dean said, ignoring their violent intent. "We need to get out of here and get back to Raw so we can get our hands on those bastards. I want to see them bleed."   
  
"We need to post bail, Dean. And I'm not sure you noticed, but your wife isn't here to help," Seth complained.   
  
Dean gave Seth a look like he was the dumbest man in the world. "You can post bail online now. And if I know Renee, she's already worki-"   
  
A guard came and unlocked the cell. "Alright, you guys made bail, you're free to go."   
  
Dean turned a sly smirk to his friends deadpanned faces.   
  
They were getting their belongings from the front desk when Seth looked at Dean with narrowed eyes. "How the hell do you guys have that much money?"   
  
Dean looked at Seth, blinking a few times before he realized what Seth was asking him about. "Oh! Renee is really good at saving money. Plus she probably called you're once upon a time mommy dearest Stephanie Mcmahon for help. You know, best for business and all."   
  
Seth flipped Dean off.   
  
Dean looked at the guard behind the counter. "Hey, can I make a request?"   
  
The guard gave him a weary look.   
  
Dean smirked cutely, dimples hidden by the beard. "Can we borrow one of the squad cars?"   
  


* * *

  
Somewhere in the back of the arena, Finn Balor was sitting in the monitor area, seething. This was ridiculous. First he watched as Roman (and others) got arrested for apparently inciting a riot. And now Baron Corbin was changing their match. Again. Fucking bastard.   
  
Finn would throttle that shit head if Corbin wasn't Stephanie's lap dog. What kind of managing was this? They told Angle to take a break because he had no control over Raw. But then what the hell was this? He couldn't wait for the day he got his hands on Corbin again. He knew Corbin was behind all of this. He could feel it in his gut. How had the police been called? Why were the Shield being charged with inciting a riot, criminal damage and disorderly conduct?   
  
This was a normal occurrence in the WWE. Literally, WWE's entire attitude era was based on the charges the Shield were facing today. Utter bullshit.   
  
And this would all be easier if he had Luke and Karl around, but they had gotten the day off to be with their families. So he sat there alone and really angry.   
  
At least he could channel that anger into his fight against Braun.   
  
He got up from where he had been stewing and walked to the Gorilla Position for his match. While he waited, he heard Corey Graves give an update. Somehow the Shield had posted bail. They were out of the precinct.   
  
Finn Balor could feel it in his bones that the Shield boys were on their way to beat the living hell out of Braun Strowman and his goons. But first, Finn would do his part.   
  
The match started off okay. Finn was getting decent time trying to choke out Braun. He kept up with Braun pretty well, reversing moves and stepping out of the turnbuckle in time. But Braun was strong. Finn had made the foolish decision to try and lift Braun, obviously he wasn't thinking. Braun tried to slam him, but he flipped around the big man and put him in another sleeper.   
  
Braun slammed him into the turnbuckle again, but he was able to get out in time to not get a large shoulder in his gut.   
  
But he was feeling it. This match was not going as planned.   
  
He mustered all his energy and continued the match the best he could.   
  
He had Braun in another submission hold. Finn tried to lock in the triangle hold, but Braun's body was proving that difficult. And he was worried his shoulders were both on the mat.   
  
It was because he was worried about his shoulders that Braun was able to get some leverage, pick him up, and slam him down.   
  
Finn couldn't breathe. His mind out of focus.   
  
He blacked out for a few seconds, only to come to and hear Braun's music playing.   
  
Finn was getting the tar beat out of him by Braun, Drew, and Dolph. They were having fun at his expense. He was practically unconscious. It was all foggy. He must have hit his head somewhere.   
  
Then he heard sirens. But he wasn't quite sure the sirens were in his head.   
  
By shear instinct alone, Finn crawled away the second he had a chance and just laid there at the side of the ring, hearing the mayhem going on around him.   
  
The Shield boys were attacked from behind by all the jerks who had cheered them getting arrested earlier. They hadn't seen it coming. Silly them.   
  
In an instant they were divided and conquered.   
  
"You don't run this yard, anymore! You hear me!"   
  
Roman's noted as he was beat down that one day he would break Drew Gulak's jaw with his superman punch and it would be the most satisfying crunch sound he could ever imagine.   
  
They tried to fight back but numbers were too much. Renee watched as her husband was slammed and pummeled on the announcers table where she had been sitting only moments ago. Her body was shaking. She couldn't speak, tears pricking her eyes. She was sure Dean was unconscious. She knew she had to say something since she had been quiet for so long. She can't even remember what she said. She just said something. Eyes never leaving her husband's injured body.   
  
Dean and Seth were dragged to the spot where the ramp led to the ring, their lifeless bodies heavy in the hands of the men that beat them. They were placed beside Roman who had just received another power slam.   
  
Roman's eyesight was blurry and he couldn't see well but he glanced at his brothers as he coughed from the pain. Dean was barely moving and Seth was bleeding pretty bad. And then he blacked out.   
  


* * *

  
Roman woke up as he felt a huge boot step on his chest. He yelped in pain. His blurry vision watched as Braun, Drew, and Dolph taunted the Shield from the stage.   
  
The refs hefted Roman up to be walked into the back. He looked over his shoulder, his head heavy. He saw Dean leaning against the ring post, completely spent, body loose and barely staying standing. He was shaking. On the ground, Seth was being checked up on by the doctors who had rushed down the second the Monster among Men and his fucking lackeys had gone backstage. Seth pushed the doctors away. He didn't want anyone touching him right now.   
  
The crowd was starting to clear out, but alot of worried fans kept watching. Little kids screamed for Seth to be okay.   
  
Slowly, the 3 defeated and annihilated men were walked to the back and straight to the doctor's room. Fans clapped, probably just happy the wrestlers could still move.   
  
The doctor and his colleagues checked the 3 men. Dean and Roman in the end were fine, just beaten relentlessly. Bruises on their bodies for sure.   
  
But Seth's arm was cut up from busting a window. He laid his head back against the medic bed and closed his eyes as the doctor started picking out bits of glass out. And then they cleaned him up, checking that the gashes weren't deep enough for stitches.   
  
Renee came running in the second she could. She knelt in front of where Dean was sitting and put her hands on his face. She asked him if he was okay and he nodded, kissing her softly, as if that would prove anything.   
  
Roman looked away from them, feeling weird witnessing an intimate moment.   
  
Roman's body was aching and his head was pounding. He could use an ice bath and some extra strength Advil.   
  
A road agent in the room got off the phone and looked at the Shield boys, their bodies bumped and bruised and bloody. "We're going to put that you guys refused medical treatment. The brass wants social media silence about this. Seth, you can put up pictures of your arm but nothing talking about it."   
  
Roman scanned his blurry eyes around the room as he let the doctor's assistant check over his pupils, making sure he wasn't concussed.   
  
Roman half expected Finn Balor to be there. Finn was always around lately. But he wasn't in the room anymore. Hopefully the beating he got before the Shield had arrived hadn't been horrible and he was on his way to the hotel to sleep the rest of the night away. Roman envied the idea.   
  
They were there for another 20 minutes, making sure Seth was okay. The doctor didn't say how bad it was, though. The men knew that if Seth was truly hurt to the point he would have to take time off would mean that their reunion was cursed. First reunion sent Dean out for almost a year.   
  
Now this.   
  
They would have to wait to see how quick Seth healed up. And they had to wait to know how the brass was going to deal with this.   
  
Gingerly, the men and Renee went back to the men's locker room. Renee went in with them, not willing to leave her husband. And honestly, she couldn't give two shits about rules right now. This night had been horrible. Her husband had been arrested. She had to talk to Stephanie about bail. And then she stood by and watched the love of her life beaten until he wasn't moving. Let someone tell her she couldn't go in the men's locker room. She'll fucking punch their lights out.   
  
They slumped down on the benches. Steadily they took off most of their gear.   
  
Roman sat in his underwear shuffling through his stuff for the clothes he had worn earlier when he realized there was a shower running in the adjacent shower room.   
  
He slipped on his jeans and muscle shirt before putting on his sneakers. He heard hissing beside him and sighed. Roman stood and went over to his best friend. He helped Seth change his clothes, like a big brother would do for his little brother.   
  
Seth was happy to have gotten some pain relievers to take before bed, because this shit stung.   
  
The shower turned off and Roman looked over his shoulder, expectantly. He could almost feel it in his sore bones that the man coming out the shower room was the man who always seemed to be around.   
  
And he was right. Finn came through the door a minute late, towel around his waist, bear feet padding across the the cold cement floor. Droplets of water fell from his hair, either falling to the floor beside him or the they ran down him chiseled body. And Roman had obviously seen Finn's body before, especially since the man wrestled almost naked. But there was something about seeing the body freshly showered and relaxed.   
  
The Irishman looked up at the group in the locker room. He hadn't expected Renee to be there, but it didn't really bother him.   
  
He went to the bench closest to the shower room, where his bags were. He turned his back to the group, even though they all seemed to be minding their own business changing. Finn grabbed a pair of briefs from his bag and slipped them on underneath the towel before dropping the white cloth. The briefs hugged him like his ring trunks did, but the fabric was softer. And it showed so much more. The outlines and curves much more evident to anyone watching.   
  
Roman had gone back to stuff after helping Seth put on his shoes. He watched from the corner of his eye as Finn Balor slipped on the same clothes he had had on earlier. He was already frowning, but Roman frowned deeper at the bruise marks on Finn's back. Purple marks that marred the picturesque body.   
  
Finn turned around to sit on the bench and caught Roman looking. "Well, I'd ask how you guys are doing, but by the looks of things, the answer is fucking horrible," Finn said.   
  
He slipped a hand up to his shoulder and massaged it lightly, still looking at Roman as Roman looked at him. He arched his eyebrows at the bigger man's open stare. It was turning him on having those naturally brown eyes burn his body with their intensity. Finn moved his hand from his shoulder, trailing it down his chest. "Roman?" he whispered, not caring about the other 3 people in the room.   
  
Roman's mind was foggy still. And was sure the pain killers the doctor gave him was mixing with his exhaustion, making Roman completely unable to control his thoughts. His eyes scanned over Finn's body, flowing over the curves of his hips. He licked his lips and completely didn't care about where he was or who he was with. "I'm a little fucked up right now, so I'm going to be straight witchu. You have the finest ass I have ever seen."   
  
Renee's head shot up like a meerkat coming out of it's hole. She looked around at the others in the room, unsure if she just imagined Roman saying something really out of character. Her lips were pursed but her eyes were wide as she saw her husband's face.   
  
Dean was staring wide eyed at Roman's back. His mouth was wide open. If his jaw could drop to the floor, it would be there right now. This was both the worst day and the best day of his life. He would never tell Renee this, but their wedding day would come second to this very moment for the rest of his life.   
  
Seth's mouth was slightly open, shocked. Roman was usually pretty private with anything remotely sexual. This was the first time in the years they had known eachother that he had ever heard Roman compliment someone like that.   
  
Roman was still looking at Finn Balor for a second before it registered in his brain what exactly he had just said. He screwed his eyes shut, ignoring the smirk playing on Finn's face. Ugh. Shoot him now. This was worse then kissing John Cena and getting turned down. At least when he had fucking embarrassed himself at John's apartment he wasn't in front of his best friends. There were no eye witnesses. What was wrong with him?   
  
Finn scratched his beard idly, smirking. "Well, Roman's stay in jail really had an affect on him."   
  
Renee stifled her chuckle. She should come to the men's locker room more often. This was great.   
  
"Yeah, uh," Dean cleared his throat. "Roman, go home, buddy. I think you're drunk."   
  
Roman nodded. He grabbed his bag and slung it over his aching shoulders. "Please disregard anything I've said ever. I'm going to go die in my hotel room. I'm getting a cab. See you later."   
  
The others watched as Roman left the room alone, face flushed.   
  
Dean noticed as Finn grinned to himself the entire time he packed his gear away.   
  


* * *

  
_Had fun with this chapter. Raw was pretty inspiring. Have no clue if Dean Ambrose actually has a criminal record, but you know it just fits him lol._


	4. Chapter 4

**Warnings:** 'bout to get a little hot in here.   
  
**Monday Night Raw September 10, 2018**   
  
Thankfully, the house shows were at a minimum that week. They all needed a few days off after last week. They had spent more time flying then sleeping the week before. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday the wrestlers were able to relax, regroup, and revitalize their exhausted minds and bodies, especially after such a horribly taxing Raw. And then Friday they were back to work.   
  
Seth arm wasn't as horrible as it had looked. Still stung. Still hurt, but it was okay. They allowed him to work the house shows. He was so thankful it hadn't been way worse. Seth wasn't sure he could deal with being out of action again, especially now that the Shield was together again... again.   
  
He had rode in with his best friends. They found the men's locker room and changed into their ring gear. Dean was in his usual mood, cracking jokes in a deadpan voice that made you wonder if he was actually joking. Roman on the other hand was as silent as always, but he looked so much better than those days after SummerSlam and his weird love confession to John Cena.   
  
Seth and Dean had known Roman was bi since they were in Florida, before moving to Raw and becoming the Shield. Roman had been candid about it at first. He only told them after a few drinks together a few nights before their invasion of Survivor Series 2012. Dean had kind of just shrugged in indifference. He had met many people in his life, their sexuality didn't phase him any. Seth was bit uncomfortable at first. Not that he didn't know anyone gay or bi before, but it's a bit to get used to when you think about a guy like Roman Reigns. The man dated plenty of women in FCW and NXT. Had a daughter he adored with all his heart. And Roman never actually talked about guys. Or his love life. He never brought any guys back to the hotel room. Roman kept that part of him secret.   
  
Seth understood why of course.   
  
Society has changed. Even WWE has changed. But both had not changed enough for the top player of the company to be able to freely date a man. It could ruin Roman. The fans hated him already. Seth could just imagine the neanderthal masses of dude-bros bitching behind the protection of a screen about having a bi-sexual man represent a "manly" company. The same jerk-offs who complain about women wrestling.   
  
But last week! Last week Roman was so out of it and the way he had complimented Finn. God, that was both hilarious and 2nd hand embarrassing.   
  
Poor Roman. He was losing his grip and control over his personal life. And Seth could feel Dean loving every second of it. Asshole.   
  
Seth put his hair up. His gear not fully strapped in yet since it was still early. He exited the room with the others and went over to catering to get a bite to eat and mingle with their coworkers.   
  
As they walked, a warm hand suddenly touched his shoulder lightly. He quickly looked back at the touch and saw a pair of large brown eyes staring at him. He stopped walking, turned around, and gave the beautiful girl a smile.   
  
"Hey," Nikki Bella said, standing before Seth.   
  
Roman smirked and waved at Seth. "We're gonna go eat, see you later."   
  
He and an eye-rolling Dean left the two.   
  
"Hey," Seth grinned, heart fluttering a little.   
  
Nikki put her hand on Seth's scraped up arm and looked at it as she spoke. "Are you okay? I didn't get to ask you last week after the show."   
  
Seth tried not to lean into her touch. What could he say. It had been a while. And Nikki Bella was the most beautiful and funny girl he had ever known. He couldn't help the need to have her slide her hands over his body. He could feel that need in his core.   
  
"Yeah. I'm okay," Seth replied. He looked down at his arm and twisted it to show her all the scratched and nicks. "Hurts a little, but it's mostly itchy now. Which is annoying."   
  
Nikki laughed. She looked him in the eyes, a strong smile playing on her red lipstick colored lips. "You mean you don't find it fun to look like a creep and scratch your arm constantly?"   
  
"I was thinking I looked like an itchy puppy," Seth said. He pouted a fake frown. "But if I look like a creep..."   
  
Nikki's grin turned to a smirk and her eyes narrowed. "I think puppy works actually."   
  
Seth matched her expression, taking a step forward to close some of the distance. "Now if only I had an owner to scratch me while my tail wagged."   
  
Nikki shook her head and chuckled. "Only good boys get belly rubs, Seth."   
  
Seth was about to ask what exactly she considered a good boy, but Brie came up, hanging up her cell phone. Brie greeted Seth happily, but her eyes were suspicious and she gave the man a hard glance. Then she asked how he was with an off-smile and Seth just told her he was okay.   
  
They had mindless chatter about how Brie and Bryan were doing, how their little girl was, and how Brie's schedule was nuts because of being duel shows.   
  
And then Brie and Nikki had to go to hair and makeup and Seth waved them off, a defeated look on his face.   
  
It looked like Brie was going to be a cock-block.   
  
When Nikki knew they were out of earshot she gave her sister an annoyed sigh. "Worse timing, Brie."   
  
"It hasn't been that long since you and John ended things," Brie pointed out. "Try being single for the first time in years, Nicole. It won't kill you."   
  
"Yeah but I am sick of using my vibrator. I need the real thing."   
  
Brie rolled her eyes and shoved Nikki lightly. "Gross."   
  


* * *

  
Dean and Roman sat in catering at one of the tables, surrounded by wrestlers, ring crew, agents, and security. Plenty of people liked to get a bite before the show started. It gave them the energy they needed to keep this company moving forward each week.   
  
"Stop staring," Dean muttered around a full mouth.   
  
Roman looked away from where he was staring and back at the man who had just spoke to him. He forced an innocent look on his face, but both men knew the Roman had been caught.   
  
Renee shook her head from where she sat beside her husband. "Leave him be. I'd be staring too if it was you across the room like that."   
  
Dean smirked. He wiggled his eyes brows at Renee. "I can be if you want me too. Just let me go borrow some one's trunks and I'll be right back."   
  
Renee laughed and pulled her husband's arm as he made to get up. She kissed his scratchy cheek. Dean turned to her some more and kissed her back. It was nothing hot. A cute peck. Too many people around. Yeah, sure Dean was always down for some fun, but not around everyone he knew. He felt like he would get a bad case of performance anxiety if he had to do anything more than kiss Renee in front of like 50 other people. That's alot of pressure to not look like a clumsy idiot.   
  
Roman looked away from them, laughing. His eyes found the man he had been staring at before.   
  
Finn Balor. Prince. Demon. Lego enthusiast.   
  
Sitting some tables away with Anderson and Gallows, laughing hysterically at Anderson's AJ impression as they facetimed the man on Finn's phone. And although Finn's laughter was cute, that wasn't the reason Roman was staring.   
  
No he was staring at the creamy naked thighs. Finn was sitting with his feet on the edge of the table, leaning his chair back on it's hind legs, so that the back of the chair touched the wall behind him. Finn already had his gear on. Boots, then kickpads and knee pads, followed by the expanse of white skin that called for Roman's attention. And those thighs gave way to the tiny black trunks barely hiding anything from Roman's view. Roman had the perfect view of the curve of Finn's ass. And teasingly, Finn's t-shirt just made it to cover the slight outline of Finn's crotch.   
  
Roman licked his bottom lip before forcing himself to look away before he was caught by the many pairs of eyes around him.   
  
"You think he's sitting like that on purpose?" Roman asked quietly.   
  
Dean looked at him and blinked once, then twice. "Yes," he finally said, completely serious. "No one would ever sit like that unless they were trying to get someone's attention."   
  
Renee nodded along, taking a bite of her salad.   
  
Dean continued, with a shrug. "And he fucking succeeded. You're practically drooling, Ro."   
  
Roman hummed, keeping his eyes lowered. But he couldn't keep it like that for long. Even when Seth had finally joined them with a pout on his lips, Roman's eyes still darted to look over the thighs that plagued his day dreams. God, he just wanted to wrap them around his shoulders as he-   
  
"Roman," A road agent with a clip board brought Roman out of his private thoughts. Roman looked at him, hiding his annoyance with a small smile as the small man explained that Braun Strowman and his dogs were going to start the show. He looked at Dean and Seth, silent and steady.   
  
Dean kissed Renee's hair as he stood, mumbling about seeing her before the show.   
  
Seth grabbed his plate of food and followed as Roman and Dean lead the way.   
  


* * *

  
Roman, Seth, and Dean found themselves in an empty secluded hallway, far away from any area the WWE personnel would use tonight. It was dark and the brick walls cool. The big man leaned against the wall behind him, his best friends standing around him.   
  
Seth took the last bit of food, tossing the plate on the floor. He looked back up at his teammates. "We can't go out there alone. You know Strowman is going to have his cult following with him."   
  
Roman frowned. "It's not like we can get others to help us out, though. Most of the roster couldn't care less about us."   
  
Dean huffed a breath threw his nose. "We never relied on anyone else before, why start now?"   
  
"So what do you have in mind? We just go out there and hope for the best?" Seth asked, crossing his arms over his chest.   
  
Dean smirked, eyes shining. "Last week those assholes got the best of us because we weren't prepared. This week we make sure to be prepared."   
  
"And what about Corbin?" Seth asked. He was trying to think of all obstacles.   
  
"We'll get him the same way," Dean shrugged. "I can't stand that smarmy trash anyway."   
  
Roman liked where this was going. He matched Dean's smirk. He couldn't wait to get his hands on Braun. That big bastard only got this far because he had others to fight for him. But Roman was not going to let Braun Strowman get the best of him.   
  
He was not going to let that fucking giant shit take _his_ championship.   
  


* * *

  
The show was starting soon. Dean walked with Renee to the Gorilla like he did the other times she was on commentary.   
  
As they walked the hallways, many people came up to Renee to congratulate her.   
  
Her lovely face would beam with excitement. She had worked so hard for this.   
  
Dean pursed his lips. He stopped walking. When she stopped beside him and looked up at him with questioning eyes, Dean pulled her into his arms.   
  
Renee put her head on his chest, making sure to not mess up her hair. She didn't want to face the wrath of the hair stylists in the back. Her arms tightened around his waist, enjoying her husband's warmth.   
  
"I'm a little jealous of all these people congratulating you," Dean admitted quietly.   
  
Renee looked up at Dean, pulling away just enough. She gave a bemused smile. "Did you want to be congratulated for being the first official female commentator?"   
  
Dean laughed, kissing her forehead. "No. It's just all these people get to congratulate you properly, but I can't yet."   
  
She quirked a brow at him. "Why not?"   
  
"Well, my congratulations would involve pizza, beer, and making sweet sweet love in front of a fire."   
  
The cute smirk he gave when he said that made Renee's heart flutter. "And where exactly in the fireplace we'll be in front of?" She asked.   
  
Dean made a pensive face before motioning his hand in the air, as if the couple would see his ideas appear from thin air. "I was thinking of setting a wooden statue in the shape of you on fire. And have sex in front of it all night. Like Burning Man but with less drug loaded dirty hipsters."   
  
Renee laughed, leaning her head against Dean's chest, her shoulders shaking with mirth. "I love you."   
  
Dean grinned, he kissed her deeply. "I love you, too."   
  
They stayed like that for another minute before they started walking again to the Gorilla Position.   
  
Finally there, Dean kissed his wife wishing her a great night. He never said good luck to her. He wasn't really superstitious, but he didn't want to risk it with the love of his life.   
  
Renee squeezed his hand in hers, took a deep breath and then went to stand with the other commentators.   
  
Dean looked at her with pride. "So, is that a no on the large statue of you?"   
  
Renee blushed, laughing again, despite the weird looks from her co-commentators. "Depends," Renee said. "Convince me later."   
  
She was grinning stupidly as her husband bit his lip, backing out of the room.   
  


* * *

  
So far Raw had been going the way the Shield had wanted. They had brought reinforcement with them. The cult following surrounding the ring was brought down easily.   
  
They went backstage to find Braun and his pets but were stopped by police for the second week in a row.   
  
But the second Baron Corbin made an appearance, the Shield boys knew he was to blame for all of this.   
  
And Baron had the gall to threaten their jobs.   
  
Seth paced back and forth where they had secluded themselves, again in the lonely hallway far off. The hallway resembled the Shield's hideouts from 2013. "I worked too fucking hard to get this title only for Corbin to take it away from me. I swear, I am going to bash his brains in the minute he stops kissing Stephanie's strapon."   
  
Dean spared an amused look at his friend's word choice.   
  
Roman growled. He was itching to get his hands on Braun. These past weeks were starting to weigh on him. Braun was a coward. He needed half of the male locker room to fight his battles for him. Some monster he was.   
  
"We can't just sit back here while those morons parade up Bourbon St. tonight," Dean grunted.   
  
"Well, we can't interfere tonight. Baron threatened to call the cops on us if we did," Seth said, exasperated.   
  
Roman saw Dean's eyes flash as he thought. The tell-tale sign of an idea.   
  
"I've got a friend down here who might be able to help us out."   
  
Seth and Roman both gave the short haired man a look of questioning. Dean had alot of friends recently. And they seemed to involve being arrested.   
  
"Who?" Roman asked.   
  
Dean smirked and shrugged half-heartedly. "Just a local sheriff. I say if Baron wants to press charges on us, then we press charges on him."   
  
"And what exactly are we going to charge him with?" Seth asked. He ran his hands through his damp hair.   
  
As Dean explained the plan, the other two grinned. This was crazy enough to work. Baron Corbin had no spine. A simple threat would get them out of this situation real quick.   
  
Roman narrowed his eyes. "What about me?"   
  
Seth took the lead this time. "Rome, Strowman is most likely going to go around looking for you. I think you should avoid him until he's lost his nerve."   
  
Roman's pouty lips twitched in a frown. "You want me to hide?"   
  
Seth shook his head. "No. I want you to play a strategy game tonight. Confront him when you want to."   
  
The men took a few moments to hash out the details. Dean made the call to his friend, smirking wickedly when he ended it. When it was all settled, Roman decided he would stay in the empty hallway until it was almost the end of the show. Dean and Seth made their way back to the monitors, to watch Dolph and Drew's match with the B-Team. Seth hoped very strongly that the B-Team would win.   
  
"I got to ask," Seth said to Dean as they watched the match play out. "How exactly do you know a Sheriff?"   
  
Dean's face stayed straight and calm. "He pulled me over once for speeding."   
  
Seth rubbed a hand down his face. "Do you know a cop in every state?"   
  
Dean made a show of thinking for a second before nodding.   
  
They watched the match in silence after that, studying their enemies. The second that things took a turn in favor of Dolph and Drew, the two Shield brothers made their way to the ring. They made it in time to attack the short celebration.   
  


* * *

  
Roman did get a little bored waiting in the hallway. Mostly he was antsy. He could feel his blood pumping with energy. He needed to do something to quiet his mind.   
  
He had played on his phone, kept up with what was going on on Raw with dirt sheets and live result pages. At some point he even did a few stretches to keep his muscles warm. By the time he knew Braun Strowman was searching for him, Roman was pacing up and down the dark hallway, staying away from the section where light spilled in.   
  
He knew Seth was right. He had to play it smart.   
  
Obviously, Strowman was using Dolph Ziggler for tactical advice since he was inept at it before teaming up with the blond chihuahua. Braun was going to be playing a game of war with him. So Roman Reigns needed to be smart about this.   
  
And yet, deep in him, gnawing at his rage, Roman really wanted Braun to find him. He really wanted to fight the monster among men. This need was driving him. Giving him a reason to work sharper.   
  
Roman was thinking about what he would do to Braun later, when he heard voices walking through the main hallway. They were multiple voices. Roman crouched down at the darkest end of the hallway, keeping watch.   
  
He recognized the voices before they passed him by. Well he recognized a specific laugh very clearly.   
  
Finn Balor walked with Sasha Banks and Bayley, chatting away. Roman couldn't hear their conversation, but they were all laughing. Their pace was slow. The women didn't have a match that night and Finn wasn't scheduled for anything from what Roman knew, but things always change.   
  
Finn was in his gear like earlier in catering. Thighs peaked out from under his leather jacket and Connor's Cure shirt. Their creamy skin radiated against the darkness surrounding Roman's view.   
  
The trio didn't even look down the dark hallway as they passed. But just as they were out of Roman's sight, Finn's head turned to the hall, locking eyes with Roman.   
  
The lock shook Roman to the core.   
  
It was like Finn had felt him there.   
  
Roman heard Finn stop walking and tell the girls he had a phone call to make, that he'd catch up with them after.   
  
Sasha and Bayley both walked on, unfazed by Finn's sudden declaration.   
  
And after a few slow heart beats, Roman watched as Finn sauntered down the dark hall, his silhouette shrouded in the light seeping in from the main hallway behind him.   
  
"I thought hurt dogs were the only ones to crouch in the dark," Finn said in a hushed voice. Roman could just make out the smirk on those lips.   
  
Roman stood straight and crossed his arms over his chest. Now that he was standing, he had a better view of the smaller man. "Only innocent children corner a dog hiding in the dark."   
  
Finn chuckled softly. "I am anything but innocent, Roman."   
  
Fire.   
  
Roman felt fire run through him like it had attached itself to his blood stream. The way Finn had slowly said his name caused Roman to stop obsessing over his attack on Braun and instead focus completely on the man in front of him.   
  
That teasing man. The man who liked to display himself just to get Roman's attention. Then man that was turning Roman on with just a narrowed eyed look.   
  
Roman growled. He shoved Finn back to the adjacent wall. He placed his hands on each side of Finn's head, leaning his body in close to keep Finn trapped. "Don't corner a hiding dog, Finn," Roman said in a hushed tone. "They'll attack."   
  
Finn simply gazed at him with large blue/green eyes. He wasn't shocked or pulling away. He just stood, head leaning against the wall behind him as he looked up at the Samoan man. "Oh yeah?"   
  
Somewhere in the back of Roman's mind he knew this wasn't a good idea. The last person he had come this close to was John Cena. And that had gone pretty badly in Roman's mind. He knew he should have been paying attention to his attack on Braun later. But all of Roman's previous rage was transforming into something much more dangerous.   
  
Lust.   
  
Finn's lips ever so slowly pulled into a smirk. He lifted a hand to Roman's face and tucked a glossy damp strand of hair behind his ear, getting a better look at the beautiful Samoan man's face. His other hand skimmed against Roman's extended arm, feeling the soft but hot skin against his finger tips.   
  
He opened his mouth to say something teasing again, when Roman's lips crushed into his.   
  
It was harsh and powerful. It practically sucked the soul out of Finn with how forceful it was. Their beards scratched against each other as Finn joined in the hasty movements.   
  
Roman bit Finn's bottom lip and the smaller man gasped, eyes fluttering. But he dared to keep those bright eyes open to watch Roman's own open eyes.   
  
Roman growled as he took the bottom lip he just bit back between his teeth. He pulled the lip with him as he separated slightly. The hazy look in Finn's eyes told him to keep going. So he did.   
  
They continued for another minute. Their lips were bruised, swollen, and slick.   
  
Roman pulled back and just stared at Finn. Finn was panting, but he never broke eye contact. It was like they were warring with their eyes, and it only made the situation more intense.   
  
Large Samoan hands gripped onto the thighs that had invaded his day dreams. He hefted them up and held the smaller man up like that. Finn responded by wrapping his legs around Roman's waist.   
  
Roman scratched his dull nails down Finn's thigh as he went in for another lip lock. Finn groaned into the kiss, opening wide for Roman's prodding tongue.   
  
They heard heavy footfalls and quickly let go of one another and crouched down so they wouldn't be seen. Braun Strowman passed the by hallway, yelling and hollering Roman's name. And Roman had to hold himself back.   
  
When they could no longer hear Braun's footsteps or voice, Finn grabbed Roman's face by the jaw, forcefully, and meshed their lips back together.   
  
Roman gave an animalistic growl from deep in his chest. He pried Finn's hand off his face and pushed Finn back against the wall, pressing back into him.   
  
He could definitely feel Finn's arousal. Not that Finn had much covering it with only those trunks on.   
  
Roman pulled away, took a step back and gazed at the panting sexy man in front of him. Admiring the art before his eyes. Roman smirked devilishly. What a sight.   
  
Finn's phone, tucked in the waist band of his trunks, beeped with a text.   
  
Roman's eyes flickered to the screen peeking out, even though Finn didn't reach for it. He was able to read it quickly before the screen darkened again. "Road Dogg says you have match coming up."   
  
Finn made no sign of moving for a few seconds. He just let himself feel his fast heartbeat start to slow down. He closed his eyes and gulped for air before standing tall, straightening out his gear. Finn looked at Roman from the corner of his eyes.   
  
Roman wiped his still saliva slicked bottom lip with his thumb. He started walking down the hallway, unable to stay there for another minute. When he got to the end of the hall he turned and looked at Finn, who was several steps behind him. Roman smirked again, admiring Finn's reddened lips.   
  
"If you keep flashing me that sexy body of yours, I'll just end up taking it."   
  
Finn shuddered as Roman walked away and out of sight. He groaned softly.   
  
That was exactly what he wanted, Roman.   
  
Finn took another second to compose himself before turning down the hallway in the opposite direction of Roman and making his way to the Gorilla Position.   
  


* * *

  
Finn had a hard time concentrating on his match. Not that anyone could tell of course. He was extremely talented at hiding his actual emotions.   
  
His softening arousal, not so much.   
  
But, to Finn's benefit, Elias was an erection killer. The minute Finn Balor looked at the asswipe with a guitar, he went flaccid.   
  
Which was perfect, because Finn's mind was still on that hallway. Dark, growling, and sexually tense.   
  
Normally, Finn was a quiet person with an easy sense of humor. Sure he knew how to hit as hard as he got hit. And yeah, Finn wasn't afraid of a challenge. But Roman Reigns made him feel different. He craved Roman's attention. He wanted to be the center of Roman's attention. He could feel it in his being. He could feel it in his blood, pulsing in him.   
  
Roman was a challenge though. The man was very private. Hell, Finn had no clue if he was even emotionally attracted to men or just in a desperate need of a screw. But Finn almost didn't care. He just wanted Roman. Those sexy lips and his casual smile melted Finn. He could still feel those lips against his. So rough. Finn loved it.   
  
Finn had won of course, and celebrated a little with the crowd before heading to the back.   
  
He was greeted by Mick Foley on the other side of the curtain. Foley clapped him on the shoulder and gave him a few words of praise before letting him go. Finn was always happy to meet legends and talk to him, but he was still dazed.   
  
Roman wouldn't leave his mind.   
  
It had been attraction since the first time Finn ever saw Roman in person. But as time went on the passion Finn had for the man only escalated.   
  
When Roman had offered him a title shot the Raw after SummerSlam, complimenting his in-ring ability and acknowledging his unfulfilled rematch for the Universal Championship, Finn fell only harder. That match had tested his emotions. The whole match he wanted to feel up Roman and win the title at the same time. But he had been distracted by Braun Strowman outside the ring that he lost.   
  
At least it was a loss to Roman. He could take that 'L'. A lose for the championship to Roman hurt obviously. But he would rather it be Roman and not someone like Baron Corbin- who still had it out for him like a school yard bully.   
  
He got to monitor just as Braun was being interviewed by Charly. Braun didn't believe that Roman had left the arena. The man wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he wasn't stupid either. Charly had bravely told him to go to the ring and that Roman would come to him. Finn spared a glance around the monitor bay. He knew Roman had left the dark secluded hallway deep in the arena, but he hadn't seen where the man ended up.   
  
Everyone watching was waiting to see what would happen.   
  
Would Roman come out? Would he face Braun Strowman?   
  
Finn didn't want Roman to come out if he was honest. Finn knew that Roman would, of course. Roman was no coward. But Finn couldn't handle seeing Roman beat senseless like he was the week before. Watching Roman lying on the floor outside the ring at the feet of several superstars, eyes glassy, had made Finn panic. Last week he had been fine after he was brutalized by Braun, Dolph, and Drew so he was able to watch at the monitors as the Shield was destroyed. And when the show ended and everyone had made their way home, whispering about what they had witnessed, Finn stayed behind. If only to see Roman (and friends) alive and well.   
  
And last week in that locker room, when Roman told Finn he had a great ass, Finn's heart slammed in his chest. God, he knew Roman had been loopy after that beat down, but the words he said made Finn happy for days on end.   
  
Finn came out of his thoughts as Roman's music hit and Braun started looking around him in the center of the ring.   
  
And then the camera man caught Roman standing on the announce table. Braun went after him. They started throwing punches before Braun took control. Finn bit the inside of his cheek as he watched Roman get slammed repeatedly into the light board. Roman was strong. He'd come out of this. Finn knew it.   
  
Braun cleared off the announce table before raising the Universal championship over his head. He yelled something about hands. He was always yelling something about hands. Braun threw the title to the side, disrespectfully, and dragged Roman over the the announce table. He stood Roman up, pulling him by those long beautiful locks of dark hair. But just when Braun thought he had him, Roman slung the man over his shoulders.   
  
Finn waited with baited breath as Roman held Braun on his shoulders, steadying himself on the table where he stood? How was that table holding up with all that weight on it. Both men were pretty big. Finn felt his body inch forward as Roman dropped his body backwards and crashed Braun Strowman through the stage with a Samoan Drop.   
  
And then Roman stood, hefting the title over his head. Strong and resilient.   
  
Finn gave a soft sigh in relief.   
  
Anderson and Gallows came up to him then, averting Finn's attention. Anderson asked if Finn was ready to go. Finn was tired. Still in his gear from his match. But he knew they had to go if they wanted to make their flight to Texas on time. So Finn went to shower and change quickly, meeting his friends outside near the rental.   
  
He didn't run into Roman this time. Even though his eyes scanned the halls for him.   
  
Finn knew he was in trouble. He knew that he was slowly loosing control over a man he barely knew. Finn knew he was in love with Roman Reigns.   
  
And he couldn't help the flutter of butterflies in his stomach as he thought of that word. Love.   
  


* * *

  
Seth and Dean were the only ones in the locker room when Roman got back there. They patted Roman on the back. All three men were ready for Hell in a Cell on Sunday.   
  
Roman showered and changed there before they left the arena together.   
  
Like some others, The Shield boys decided to stay the night in New Orleans and then take a flight out to Texas. They'd spend a few days of rest in Texas and then have Friday and Saturday house shows. Plus Media- Radio interviews, Autograph signings, Pictures, Make-a-Wish.   
  
They had decided to room all three together that night since Renee was off to Smackdown and Dean didn't feel like rooming alone. They were exhausted so they didn't give a crap about who slept where as long as they had space to sleep.   
  
As Roman stripped off the t-shirt, enjoying the cool air hit his tired body, his phone chimed. He dug it out of his pocket and expected a text from his daughter's mother or something from family. Instead it was John Cena.   
  
_Kick Braun's ass. Stay Champ. Good Luck Sunday._   
  
Over in China, enjoying a lunch break, John stared at his phone. He wasn't sure if he was expecting Roman to respond. It wasn't like John had asked him a question or anything. And it was late back in the states so Roman could have been sleeping for all he knew.   
  
John was worried about Roman. He didn't see him at the house show in Shanghai.   
  
It didn't take a genius to figure out that Roman was ignoring him.   
  
Hell John would probably ignore himself if he had confessed feeling for another male coworker via kiss in the coworker's hotel room. It was something out of some horrible love novel. Roman probably couldn't face John, even though John had tried to tell him it was okay.   
  
Since then John had wondered about Roman. Unrequited love wasn't easy and took a toll on some people.   
  
He just hoped that Roman was emotionally okay.   
  
He really wished the beautiful Samoan man would text him back. Acknowledge him.   
  
He sighed as he wrote another text, not caring about how a double text with no response would make him look. _I know that everything that happened left us in a weird place. But I'm still around to talk if you need any advice._   
  
Roman sat on the edge of the bed near him and stared at the screen of his phone. He flinched a little when John's second text came through.   
  
His heart ached something horrible.   
  
Roman had tried so hard to lock up his pain since that Tuesday in Brooklyn. And it came flooding back in with a simple text of encouragement.   
  
Fuck.   
  
He closed his eyes tight and leaned his head back a little, trying to breathe. Seth was snoring already and Dean was off in the bathroom calling his wife to wish her good night. Roman was pretty positive that there was alot dirty talk going on. He just hoped Renee was at the hotel in Lafayette by now and not in the car with her travel companions. ...When Roman knew no one could see him, he let his shoulders sag. He leaned forward and put his head in his hands, finger tips threading through his hair.   
  
He was still desperately pining over John Cena. No matter how hard he tried to close that door. No matter how hard he tried to move on.   
  
He had been able to put on a brave face in front of the world. But his heart was still broken. It would never be easier, Roman realized. He would never truly forget his feeling for his make-shift mentor/ in-ring enemy. John had invaded him emotionally and mentally and Roman was stuck.   
  
John had set Roman straight in promos. But behind closed doors John Cena had set Roman Reigns on the path of anguish without meaning to.   
  
Even with his lust for Finn, Roman still had love for John.   
  
He took a deep breath. Sat up. Took his phone back in hand and responded with the only thing he could. "Thanks."   
  
He felt even more tired now then he had been last week after getting his ass handed to him.   
  


* * *

  
**September 12, 2018**   
  
Someone was moaning in his ear.   
  
Sweet, sweet friction accompanied the moaning, rubbing body against body.   
  
The air was warm and smelled of sex. And Roman's hands gripped on tight to white thighs.   
  
He gasped as a burning hot mouth nibbled at his ear. Roman's eyes almost rolled back in pleasure. Finger nails scratched down his back before coming back up and gripping his long loose hair in tight fists. The hands pulled his head back slowly, not hard enough to do damage, but hard enough to have a little pain to the mix. The mouth that had nibbled on his ear moved down his neck, biting and licking. A rough beard led the way down his collar bone and chest, scratching his heated skin.   
  
A deep groan left Roman's lips as the body in his lap let go of his hair and slithered down. The dark short hair nestled in Roman's lap. He placed a hand on that head and smoothed his fingers over it. When that hot mouth closed in on his painful erection, Roman growled lowly. He unconsciously pushed the head in his lap down farther, so he could feel more of that mouth. But his hand was pulled away from a force behind him.   
  
Roman turned his head over his shoulder, movements slow as he was overcome with bliss. Lips sealed over his, sweet. Roman looked at the face of the person kissing him, seeing blue eyes and light brown and blond eyelashes. John Cena let go of the kiss and let his lips dip to Roman's pulse point. His large hands splayed over Roman's chest, feeling and rubbing, massaging and scratching.   
  
"John," Roman breathed.   
  
Roman moved his eyes back to the head in his lap. He wanted to touch the man, hold the head still and fuck that hot mouth until the man was a mess, but John had his arms pinned with his own.   
  
Blue-green eyes lifted to Roman. His mouth was stretched over Roman's cock, but Roman could feel the smirk.   
  
Finn Balor's mouth pulled off of his erection with a pop as John flicked at his nipples. Roman was panting. He would admit to whining even if he could articulate anything through the fog in his mind. Gasping Finn's name was all he could manage that second.   
  
His lap was full with a smaller body and a mouth on his again.   
  
John's hands slipped lower and took his saliva coated cock. One hand pumped him and the other went lower to play with Roman's balls.   
  
He was groaning and moaning as he looked in those blue-green eyes. He was so close. Roman thrust into the tight fist around him. The lips on his pulse point let go and went up to the shell of his ear. "Roman," John said. "Roman... here."   
  
Roman had no clue what John was saying. He was quickly unraveling in the arms of both men.   
  
Suddenly a loud bang jolted him.   
  
His eyes opened and he was looking at the head rest of the passenger side of Seth's rental car.   
  
Roman was breathing heavy and gulped down air to calm himself down.   
  
Just a dream.   
  
A really hot dream.   
  
A really really hot dream.   
  
Roman was hard because of that dream. His sweat pants were tented.   
  
No he was really hard. Practically ready to burst.   
  
He shifted, uncomfortable, putting a spare sweatshirt he had next to him over his extremely evident erection.   
  
He looked around.   
  
They were at a gas station somewhere in Texas, probably on the way to their hotel from the airport. Roman didn't remember falling asleep, but by the look of the time on the dash board he'd been sleeping for a good 2 hours.   
  
Dean and Seth were outside. Dean was pumping gas while Seth was stretching his tired body, a cup of gas station coffee in one hand.   
  
Roman ran his hands down his face, scrubbing at his eyes.   
  
The stress must have been getting to him. He hadn't had dreams like that since he was in college.   
  
The driver side and passenger door opened and Dean and Seth got back into the car.   
  
Dean looked over his shoulder, eyebrows arched. "Hey look who's awake, Seth!"   
  
Seth chuckled as he turned the car on, put it in drive, and pulled back onto the road. "Must have been a _really_ good nap, Rome."   
  
Dean looked back forward and opened a bag of junk food. "Yeah. Ro. Seriously are you trying to get us all horny? The way you were moaning back there, I thought I was going to have to call Renee and explain to her that I somehow turned gay."   
  
Seth rolled his eye but snickered. "I told you to turn the radio up and ignore him, Deano."   
  
Dean gave him a blank stare. "And what? Miss the show? Free porn, Seth. I mean I'm not into gay threeways with _Finn and John_." Dean moaned the two names lowly, making fun of Roman, who's face was blazing in embarrassment. "But it sounded like a good time. A good time is a good time," Dean joked.   
  
Roman groaned in frustration this time. He burried his head in his hands. "Fuck off, guys."   
  
The other two just laughed. And Roman peaked from behind his hands, saw his best friends laughing at his reaction and just laughed too.   
  
"What could I say, Dean," Roman said, voice taking a teasing tone. "Your late night phone sex with Renee was pretty influential."   
  
Dean pursed his lips. "Are you telling me you find my sexy talk arousing?"   
  
Roman laughed harder. "Oh yeah. Totally," he said, sarcastically.   
  
Roman's erection had gone away with the conversation. But the memory of the dream still lingered.   
  
It lingered in his mind like the memory of gripping Finn's thighs in his hands as they made out at Raw.   
  
Not that Seth and Dean knew about that. Roman would keep this Finn thing quiet.   
  


* * *

  
_Sorry guys. Just a tease lol. Review please.  
  
**Love Natsuki Lee**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hell in a Cell**   
  
Roman's days leading up to Hell in a Cell were full. He had media for College Game day Saturday, which had been so much fun for him. He couldn't believe he had done that. And he picked the winner of course. Because he picks winners. And the crowd was cheering for him out there. It had felt so good. It had pumped him up for the house show that night in Corpus Cristi.   
  
And it had pumped him up for Hell in a Cell.   
  
Roman had time before going to the trainers to stretch out. So he decided to call up his little girl. He missed her dearly.   
  
Roman sat up in the stands watching the crew put together the Hell in a Cell cage as he talked on the phone. He smiled the entire time, not letting his personal stresses cloud the joy his daughter gave him.   
  
"Good luck, daddy," she said.   
  
"Thank you, baby," Roman replied. "Be good for your mama."   
  
He hung up after they exchanged I love yous.   
  
Roman stayed in the seat, watching and thinking.   
  
The long locks were tied tight in a perfect bun. Perhaps it was too tight. Roman had a slight headache. But, then again, he had had a headache for a few days now. The gentle ache reminding him of his own faults.   
  
He was imperfect despite it all.   
  
Because only someone imperfect would allow itself to pine after a man who outright rejected you.   
  
Only a man with many faults would put his career -and technically his life- on the line for the love he felt. A love for a man who was older, straight, and a relative stranger.   
  
What did Roman really know about John Cena, anyway? That he had an amazingly complex sense of humor? That he was a hard worker? That he had his heart broken not long ago? That John was a great man with a kind soul?   
  
These were all things the most casual of WWE fans would know.   
  
And to Roman that meant that the Samoan man virtually knew nothing of the real John Cena.   
  
He loved him, still.   
  
Roman leaned forward. He put his elbows on his knees, letting his hands hang there. His eyes scanned the arena. It was peaceful before the fans filtered in. Calming.   
  
And he was far enough up the seats that no crew member would see the sadness in his eyes.   
  
Roman had acted tough in front of his Shield brothers. He acted like the John Cena situation was behind him and that he could move on.   
  
And sure maybe he could move on. But it hadn't happened yet. Roman was stuck. He was stuck wishing that John had reciprocated his kiss that sunny Tuesday in Brooklyn. He dreamed of feeling John's body against his again.   
  
And in the deep depths of his mind he wondered what John's eyes would look like if they looked at Roman with admiration and adoration.   
  
But Roman put on a smiley face for his friends and coworkers. He didn't want to worry anyone. But the pain he was feeling was gnawing at his heart. Hopefully the match tonight against Braun would let Roman exert the pent up emotions he was feeling.   
  
He needed that release.   
  
That could be the reason he was so attracted to Finn Balor.   
  
He didn't know what Balor wanted. But after Raw, when they had made out in the dark hallway like a pair of angry horny teenagers, Roman was sure it would absolutely help him de-stress. What better way to release his stress then to sink his teeth into a grinning Finn Balor?   
  
Actually, Roman looked around. He was surprised Balor wasn't around him right now. The smaller man had a great gift of just popping up out of no where.   
  
Maybe there really was a demon in Finn and that demonic presence could smell the need in Roman.   
  
What he was feeling for Finn Balor was in no comparison to what he felt daily for John Cena. For Finn Balor, Roman felt hungry. Like he could devour those pouty lips and taste the very essense of Ireland. Finn Balor brought out the animalistic desires out of Roman.   
  
But for John, Roman felt a heart clenching desire to be with the man. Roman wanted to take care of the man. He wanted to be cared for by the man. He wanted to grow old together, as unimaginable as 2 huge muscular WWE superstars being old and grey together could be.   
  
Roman's pouty lips opened and he let out a sad sigh. He leaned his body back in the chair and ran his hands down his face. The handsome face looked tired.   
  
Roman needed to get his feelings in order.   
  
He needed to forget about John Cena. It was hopeless. It was torture for Roman to spend his best days as Champ obsessing over a straight man.   
  
Roman took his phone from off his lap, stood up, and walked up the steps to one of the exits.   
  
Maybe he could find Finn Balor somewhere and fuck the obviously willing smaller man until Roman forgot how much he loved John Cena.   
  
Yeah, sounds mentally healthy, Roman mused.   
  


* * *

  
A few hours later, Roman was backstage at the monitors, watching has his best friends went against Braun Strowman's personal bitches, Dolph and Drew, for the tag championships.   
  
What a show. Roman knew it would be hard to beat. Seth and Dean always knew how to make a match great. And despite hating the bastards, Drew and Dolph were looking good out there.   
  
He was hoping his brothers would win. It would be amazing for all of them to be a champion at the same time. It hasn't happened in a very long time.   
  
That hope shattered when he watched as Dolph and Drew took Seth down and got the pin.   
  
He waited near the monitors for the boys to walk by. He walked in step with them the minute they got near and the 3 members of the Shield went to the men's locker room. No one else was in there while the show was going on, so Roman locked the door behind him, sensing that they needed privacy.   
  
No one made any teasing comments about how Roman was trapping them in to take advantage. No one spoke in general.   
  
Seth sat down on the bench, propping his elbows on his knees and hiding his frustrated face in his hands.   
  
Dean kicked at his duffel bag. At least he thinks it was his. Dean wasn't in the mindset to check.   
  
Roman stood in the center of the room looking over his best friends.   
  
"I'm proud of you."   
  
Both Dean and Seth looked at him with confused looks. "We lost, Ro," Dean pointed out, a tinge of anger in his voice.   
  
Roman nodded. "Yeah," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "But you guys also put on one hell of a fight out there. I know it sucks that you guys lost, but it was so close. I am so proud of you for giving Drew and Dolph everything you had."   
  
Seth smiled, sadly.   
  
Dean's lips pulled to one side, eyes downcast.   
  
"I'm so glad you guys are my brothers," Roman continued. "Because if you guys fought me like you did tonight I'd never have made it to Universal Champ."   
  
Seth snorted a laugh through his nose. "Yeah. I would be."   
  
Dean walked over to Roman, a playful smirk on his face. "I'll just let Seth think that."   
  
Seth was about to protest, but Roman cut him off. "You guys will both be champ when you take those belts next time. I know it."   
  
Dean slung his arm around Roman, face serious. He pulled Roman in close in what he would consider a hug. "You always know what to say."   
  
Seth laughed. "Roman 'Pep Talk' Reigns." He got up from the bench and joined the two in a quick but strong hug.   
  
When they let go, Seth went to put on a shirt and Dean took a towel to dry his still sweaty face.   
  
Dean smirked and looked back at Roman. "I am surprised you didn't say Believe That, though."   
  
Roman flipped Dean off.   
  
He looked at his phone for the time, told the guys he had to go, and left the men in the locker room. As Roman walked to the trainers room to stretch out, he smiled. Even with everything going on in his love life, at least Roman still had Seth and Dean to make him smile.   
  


* * *

  
The match had been brutal from the start. Roman and Braun were at eachother's throats in that garish cage for a few minutes now. The cage being red was both ugly and attractive at the same time.   
  
Roman had just gotten hit by the steel steps outside of the ring when the second steel step collision happened inside the ring. Braun had pinned him and Roman could hear the ref counting beyond the ringing in his ear. He kicked out with all his strength.   
  
If it wasn't the adrenaline coursing through Roman's veins he would have collapsed. Those steel steps could kill someone and Braun was tossing it around like a teddy bear.   
  
"Why won't you stay down?!" Braun screamed down at him.   
  
The steel steps hit Roman for the third time in his gut, knocking the wind out of him. It was starting to feel like hard work just breathing. And whatever air Roman had tried to suck back into his lungs was pushed up by Braun slamming him. But Roman found it in him to kick out.   
  
As Roman regained himself he could hear Braun arguing with Mick Foley. That was the 3rd or 4th near fall on Roman. Roman was sure that Braun was blaming Foley for a slow count. But what Braun didn't realize was that no matter how much he beat Roman down, he'll always fight out. Especially for his beloved championship.   
  
Braun was yelling at Roman to get up.   
  
Make up your mind, moron. Up or down, Roman thought.   
  
But Roman stood. And he finally got himself back in the game, fighting the monster among men. Superman punches and a spear on Braun through a table. Roman was able to cover Braun, but the bastard kicked out.   
  
Roman rolled to the side. His blurry vision looked at his opponent. The bigger man was laying in the ring like he was. They were both spent and gone. Completely unable to get up and fight.   
  
That's when he heard a commotion outside the ring. Roman didn't have to lift his head and look. He knew it was Braun's little pets. And when the crowd started screaming louder Roman couldn't help the tired and droopy smile on his lips. His boys were coming to have his back even though they lost tonight.   
  
Seth and Dean were down, but they weren't out. He could always count on them. And as the two teams fought against each other for the second time that night, Roman concentrated on his ragged breathing. He was comforted by the knowledge of his best friends keeping an eye on him. And Roman blacked out.   
  
Seth Rollins watched as Dolph Ziggler climbed up the Hell in a Cell cage to get away from him. Who the hell goes up a cage to escape someone? A dumbass apparently.   
  
So Seth followed him up and they started kicking the crap out of eachother. They were joined by Drew quickly and Seth looked around hoping to see his brother in arms. And to his utter satisfaction, Dean huslted up the cage, a Kendo Stick strapped to his back. Seth was taken down by the time Dean got up there, but he watched with pride as Dean started to beat the living shit out of Dolph and Drew. The cage dipped with every step of their weight.   
  
But Dolph and Drew weren't taking it easy. And the next thing they knew was that they were all laid out on the top of that cage. Seth prayed to the wrestling Gods that he wouldn't crash through this damn fencing and crash to the ring Mick Foley Style.   
  
Roman came too and his eyes refocused to see 4 bodies above him, red chain link fence biting into sweaty skin. He wasn't sure when they all had gotten up there, but he prayed to God that none of them came crashing down on him. He was already hurt enough.   
  
Roman could hear Braun coughing and groaning near him. Roman shifted to look at him. Braun was still out of it. And if Roman had the energy he would have gotten up and pinned the giant whale. Roman couldn't, though. He was beyond exhausted. The time he had spent laying there had drained him of his remaining adrenaline. He was surprised he hadn't completely crashed and started sleeping. It must have been the energy of the crowd and the noise of the other four men beating eachother down.   
  
Dolph was up first and he started to climb down. But Seth wasn't going to let him go. They started fighting on the side of the cage. Fists were flying when they weren't holding on for dear life. They could practically feel Mick Foley panicking in the cell at the mere sight of them.   
  
And then Seth grabbed Dolph by the back of his head and slammed it against the red cage. But he lost balance too and both men fell back into the commentary tables.   
  
If Seth hadn't immediately regretted life in that moment he would have compared it to Hell in a Cell years ago when he and Dean had the same result.   
  
Which begged Seth to question why the hell he ever let himself fight on the sides of cages in the first place.   
  
From the top of the cell Dean worried about his friend. Tables. Dean remembers the dangers of the tables. The pain. Fucking tables.   
  
And from within the cage, Roman cringed. Both from his own pain and the pain he was sure Seth was in. That fall was never pretty.   
  
Roman was starting to feel some energy again. Probably the worry. And he started to shift around, feeling his way through whatever his body had been hit with.   
  
And then that fucking music played.   
  
Roman had to have been having a nightmare, right?   
  
He was just imagining Brock Lesnar's theme right?   
  
God fucking dammit.   
  
There was Brock Lesnar. Come to ruin his fucking night.   
  
It was a sad day in hell when Roman would rather be stuck with Braun Strowman in a Wendy's bathroom then see Brock Lesnar.   
  
Roman had been so happy to think he had gotten rid of the pile of bright white shit when he won at SummerSlam. But no. Alas he was wrong. Sigh.   
  
And the energy fell out of Roman again. Brock had that affect on people, Roman mused, looking up the cage. Huh. Dean and Drew were still there. He kind of hoped Dean would stay there so he wouldn't get caught up in this Brock mess.   
  
Brock had literally kicked down the door. And then uses said door as a ramp to enter the ring. Roman didn't know this at the moment, but when he looked back at this scene he would hear Cole say “Brock kicked in the door and walked into hell."   
  
But it wasn't any old Hell. Nope. It was Roman's own personal hell.   
  
Brock did his usual of beating up anyone he felt like and went after Braun and Roman equally. Back and forth. Roman felt the table piece smack his back and it stung his aching body.   
  
And then Brock was gone. Bodies were everywhere. The match had been called a no contest when neither Braun nor Roman could stand. The crowd booed.   
  
That meant Roman would keep the championship. But he was fucking pissed off about how this match had happened.   
  
The ref came to check on Roman, putting a hand in his. He squeezed the man's fingers. He was okay. He was pissed and tired. But he was conscious and breathing. Nothing broken from what he could tell.   
  
Eventually everyone was dragged into the back. Roman was told to go see the doc, but he stayed, waiting for his brothers to come through the curtain together, Dean's music blasting in the emptying arena.   
  
And together, they walked to the doc's room.   
  


* * *

  
**Monday. September 17, 2018**   
  
Roman groaned as his heavy body shifted under the covers. His eyes slowly opened, staying squinted to the sun shining through the window. It was early as hell, but they had to travel today since they stayed in San Antonio last night after the show.   
  
His body ached. Last night   
  
Last night fucking sucked   
  
God fucking Brock Lesnar. Roman had thought he had finally got rid of the idiot for now. But nope. Here he was again. Couldn't even give roman a month. Roman was livid. That bastard had ruined his match.   
  
But Roman knew he was lucky. It could have been worse. Brock could have helped Braun win.   
  
But Roman was still champ.   
  
He had been catching steel steps to the face all last night but at least he was still champ.   
  
Seth shuffled on the room's second bed. Roman looked over from his own bed to see Seth sit up, hair in a mess from a restless night. Seth grabbed his phone from the charger on the night stand and shut off the constantly playing alarm.   
  
"Ro," Seth said, voice groggy. "Wake up. We have to get to the plane. Have to meet Steph soon."   
  
Roman sighed. "I'm up," he muttered, pushing his heavy body up from where he had been laying on his stomach. The t-shirt he had worn to bed was rumpled and twisted around his body, so when he sat up, a span of light caramel colored skin peaked out.   
  
The men took turns in the shower and getting ready for another long day.   
  
Seth and Roman had some media stuff today. Dean had it lucky. He didn't have any media today so he could just drive with Renee to the arena and relax before the show started.   
  
They got down to the lobby and their driver was there. It was the only perk about being a champ. Media involved a driver and several assistants.   
  
As one of the assistants went over the agenda for that day -hanging out with sick children in Dallas- Roman's mind wandered. It wasn't that Roman didn't find that important. He found these days very gratifying and meaningful. But he was not feeling it right now.   
  
He stared out the tinted window, the landscape of buildings and trees blending in together. The sun tinted the entire thing in a peachy hue. It was nice.   
  
But Roman didn't feel nice.   
  
Roman was stressed. The reintroduction of Brock Lesnar only made his stress levels skyrocket.   
  
Now he had several demons to battle with.   
  
Braun Strowman. Brock Lesnar. A booing crowd of fans. His love for John Cena.   
  
The only demon who wasn't stressing him out was the demon king, himself.   
  
Roman had half a mind to get his number from Seth and text the Irishman. Text him to meet at the arena. To meet in a private area. And fuck his fucking stress away.   
  
You know, if Finn was up for it, of course.   
  


* * *

  
Roman walked into catering after checking the schedule for the night with a road agent. Apparently he'd be starting the show. He was sure the brass wanted him to talk about Hell in a Cell and the so-called return of Brock Lesnar. Which he honestly did not feel like doing. He just wanted Brock to come out and he wanted to kick his ass. God. He hated that guy.   
  
Catering had a decent amount of people at that time. As he grabbed a plate full of food he saw all the familiar faces. The Bellas and Natalya chatted with Ronda. Drake Maverick ate beside Akam and Rezar. At another table Dolph Ziggler surfed Twitter on his phone, Zack Ryder and Tom Philips laughing it up beside him. And if Roman sounded out the buzz of noise in the room, he could hear Elias strumming his guitar somewhere nearby. Beside him, a smiling Alexa Bliss watching with hearts in her eyes.   
  
Roman took the plate of chicken, rice, and salad to his friends, not surprised to see Finn Balor sitting with them.   
  
Finn was always around.   
  
And with how horny and stressed Roman was, he was thankful.   
  
The only seat available was beside Dean. Across from Finn.   
  
Roman rolled his eyes. They probably left that seat open on purpose. Roman was very sure that his best friends were trying to get him and Finn together. They probably thought it would get Roman away from the shitfest that was his love for John Cena.   
  
Roman had a feeling they were wrong, though. He couldn't that easily forget that man. Even when there was a beautiful man in front of him giving him bedroom eyes.   
  
"So no match for you tonight, again, man?" Seth asked Finn.   
  
The Irishman shook his head, face blank. "Nothing." Despite not having a match again that night, Finn was still in his gear. Just in case. But he had shorts and a t-shirt over him since the back got cold sometimes.   
  
Dean rolled his eyes. "They don't give you anything, but bringing back a part-timer like Crock Pot is okay."   
  
Finn took a drink from his water bottle and then shrugged. "I'm okay with it for now. It gives me a good chance to study up on everyone. Get a good feel for possible competition," he said. "Plus, I can always just insert myself somewhere."   
  
Seth nodded. He smirked. "Just promise you won't insert yourself against me. I don't think I can handle going after the Tag titles and having to defend the Intercontinental Championship."   
  
"Taking away my fun," Finn chuckled.   
  
Roman's eyes scanned over Finn's face, admiring the way the man's eyes twinkled when he laughed. Finn was exceptionally good looking. God, Roman was salivating just thinking about fucking Finn's-   
  
Finn's next words caught Roman from his thoughts. Only making matters much worse.   
  
"But honestly, Seth, I'd rather insert myself in the Universal _Champion_ -ship match."   
  
Renee, who had been sweetly scrolling through her instagram feed and chit-chatting with Nia Jax, coughed around a broad grin. Oh she couldn't have been the only one to hear Finn stress Champion, right? Because to her it definitely was obvious that he said he wanted to insert himself in the _Universal Champion_. Roman's sex life was slowly becoming her favorite pass time. It was so entertaining. And hot. Not that she'd admit that to her husband.   
  
Dean was unhinged enough that Renee was never sure what his reaction would be to certain things. He'd probably try to orchestrate a 4-way.   
  
She looked over at Roman to see his reaction to the statement. She already knew how Dean and Seth were reacting. They were completely failing at hiding their amusement. Sigh. Roman had the best supportive friends ever. They all just wanted him to get laid already.   
  
Roman was just staring across at Finn. His face was normal, but if you saw his eyes you'd see the amusement in them.   
  
If he wasn't in front of half the locker room, he have taken Finn by the hips, thrown him against the nearest wall and ravage him.   
  
Finn smirked. Apparently he had a similar thought, because Roman felt something run up his leg.   
  
It didn't take a brain surgeon to realize that Finn was running his booted foot up Roman's legs teasingly.   
  
But Finn kept a straight face as he started talking to Seth again. "But the match already seems a little crowded. So I'll just hang back and see who wins."   
  
Roman smirked. "So me?"   
  
Finn gave him a playful look. "Who ever wins, Roman." He took a sip of his water again, eyes flickering to Roman as he gulped down. He knew he was acting like a horny slut, but Roman did bring the best out of him.   
  
"Besides," Finn said, leaning back in his chair. "I can't wait for Evolution."   
  
Seth beamed. "I know! It's going to be great. It'll be amazing to see what they have planned."   
  
Finn’s booted foot shifted back and forth against Roman's thighs as the Irishman had his conversation with Seth. At some point Nia and Renee joined in, as Dean listened and ate.   
  
Roman stared at Finn, trying to keep his face stoic.   
  
But Finn’s foot was getting closer to his crotch and the friction felt really good.   
  
How bad would it be if Roman got off in catering to a bit of foreplay? Next to his brothers? With Total divas/Bellas cameras roaming around everywhere?   
  
Oh god.   
  
This was getting really good.   
  
Finn’s foot was nudging into his crotch, rubbing back and forth over the cloth covering his hardening erection.   
  
And Roman was practically moaning while Finn was calmly talking to the rest of the group. Roman tried to hide his reaction by eating, ducking his face down towards his plate.   
  
Fuck.   
  
He was getting close. He slipped his arm under the table and grabbed Finn’s foot. Finn’s eyes glanced at him, a sly smirk playing on his reddened lips. Roman had half a mind to throw the foot to the side and edge away the oncoming orgasm. But he also wanted to let that foot finish him off right there and then. It was torture.   
  
He decided that cumming at the table would not be wise. But instead of pushing the Boot out of his lap, he gently massaged the calf under the kickpad. Finn looked directly at him now. His eyes half lidded and he gave a sweet sigh, almost silent under the din of the dining area.   
  
But Finn’s sigh must have been loud enough for Dean to hear, because the auburn haired man lifted his head and look back and forth between Roman and Finn.   
  
Dean looked at Roman with judgement in his eyes and a pursed frown on his lips. Roman tried not to look him in the eye. Tried to ignore him while the foot got out of his slack grip and slowly toe down his thigh.   
  
The feeling brought Roman back to the brink again. He was so damn turned on he wasn’t going to make it.   
  
“My god.” Dean muttered so no one around their group would hear him. “Could you guys keep it in your pants?”   
  
Roman growled, turning his half lidded eyes to Finn. “The problem is we _haven’t_ gotten out of our pants, Dean.”   
  
A slow sly grin spread across Finn’s face and he took his foot away fully now.   
  
Roman sighed, a mix of relief and sadness.   
  
Now he was hard with no release.   
  
Finn grinned at him. He put his hand in his short’s pocket and took a piece of paper out, giving it to Roman.   
  
And then Finn was up. He grinned at the rest of the table, said his goodbyes and walked away.   
  
And Roman groaned in frustration   
  
He looked at Dean with a glare. “You seriously just cock blocked me dude,” he whispered so the girl’s wouldn’t hear it.   
  
Dean sent him back an equal glare. “Sorry, I didn't want to experience my best friend getting off at the damn table.”   
  
Seth looked back and forth between the two, laughing. He had no clue what Dean and Roman were talking about. But he had noticed that Finn was practically foot fucking Roman under the table. But he hadn’t said anything. His philosophy was to not interfere in the sex life of two consenting adults. He was happy that Roman did not in fact cum at the table. But he still found the whole thing amusing.   
  
“What’s the note say?” Seth asked. Nia Jax and Renee were happily not paying attention as they had started talking about something fashion related.   
  
Roman opened the paper and read it. And he smiled.   
  
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. He took another look at the room number scribbled on the slip of paper and then tucked it in his pant pocket.   
  
Roman stayed at the table for a while after he was done eating. He was still trying to calm his erection down.   
  


* * *

  
Roman had started the show with a simple "Last night was rough."   
  
He called out Brock Lesnar because he couldn't wait. He wanted to get this over an done with.   
  
But Braun came out instead. Of course. Because that's just exactly what he wanted, Roman thought sarcastically, seeing the large man get into the ring.   
  
Braun had to be a special kind of son of a bitch.   
  
Yeah Roman had a horrible night at Hell in a Cell. Sure he was getting his ass kicked. But he was no where close to losing. And Braun Strowman was dead wrong if he thought that the only reason Roman was still champion was because of Brock Lesnar.   
  
Braun spewed some more bullshit, pretty much saying that he was going to kill Brock and then go after Roman. Well, Roman mused, at least there was proof for the police if he actually did ever kill Brock that this was all premeditated.   
  
Roman groaned in frustration. Fucking kidding me? Now Baron Corbin is joining in on this _fun_ time.   
  
The situation just kept descending. Roman thought Hell in a Cell was rough. Well here was Corbin to tell them about another show in Saudi Arabia in December. And what was the main event? Braun versus Brock versus Roman. For the Championship.   
  
Roman couldn't help looking at the ramp entrance, waiting for someone else to join in this match. Was Finn going to join in? Now was his chance.   
  
"I think that sucks," Braun said looking at Corbin. "I think you suck." He then looked at Roman. "I definitely think you suck. This whole situation sucks. As a matter of fact, everyone in this entire arena sucks."   
  
For the first time in his life, Roman just might agree with Braun. This fucking sucked.   
  
"Ladies and Gentleman!" Paul Heyman said, making his way on stage, the kicked off red cage door from last night in his hand.   
  
Roman wanted to beat his own head in with a baseball bat. This was making him so stressed out. He could feel the weight on his shoulders. And it wasn't just the championship title. It was the weight that came with it.   
  
Roman half listened as Paul heyman spewed some shit about why having Brock Lesnar in the WWE was good for the company. He almost couldn't believe it when he heard the word "Brock-onomics." God. That was the stupidest thing he had ever heard. And Roman had heard a lot of stupid things in his life. Mostly from Braun Strowman, but still.   
  
Of course Heyman wasn't wrong. Brock brought money to the company. But damn. Shut up.   
  
Heyman then accuses Roman and Braun of having teamed up to steal Brock's Universal Championship. And that was the reason Brock Lesnar would be there at Saudi Arabia.   
  
Scratch what Roman thought earlier.   
  
_That was the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard in my damn life._ Roman groaned.   
  
Roman watched as Braun went after Heyman, who hustled his fat ass away. And then Corbin looked at him. Smarmy bastard.   
  
They stood in the ring together, Roman sparing him an annoyed eyeroll.   
  
Corbin took the mic from Roman's hands and Roman had to hold himself back from smacking the taste out of Corbin's mouth.   
  
And then Corbin did something very ballsy. He set up a match between Roman and Corbin.   
  
Roman just looked at him confused. Why?   
  
Corbin had a death wish to want to face Roman tonight with the stressed out mood he was in. Roman was going to skin him alive.   
  
And let's say Corbin won tonight, since he was bound to have some tricks up his tight shirt sleeves. That would mean Corbin would have the championship. To which both Braun and Brock would beat the living shit out of him for.   
  
What a death wish.   
  
Moron.   
  


* * *

  
Roman watched from the monitor in the trainer's office. The doc stretched him out as he watched Dean lose his match. And he had made his way to the interview area to watch Seth kick Dolph's ass. Proving to the world that he was still _The Man_. He proudly watched his best friend celebrate. And he knew Dean was with the other wrestlers in the main monitor area punching the air, happy that at least Seth got a win that night.   
  
Roman was stopped to do a quick interview before heading for his match against Corbin. He was ready to take on anything that came his way.   
  
Because tonight he had some incentive.   
  
Tonight after winning, he was going to drive with Dean and Seth back to the hotel. And then he was going to drop his stuff of in his and Seth's shared room. Tell the boys goodnight and make his way to Finn Balor's room to repay him for the teasing earlier tonight.   
  


* * *

  
Finn watched from the monitor area as the main event started. He spotted Seth and Dean standing together off to the side to watch also. They looked ready to join the fight if need be.   
  
He frowned a little. Finn was itching for a fight. Not having a match this week felt horrible. He had so much pent up energy. Which would explain his lewd behavior earlier.   
  
He still couldn't believe that he did that. He couldn't believe that he had touched Roman like that.   
  
In a crowded room.   
  
Next to friends.   
  
And cameras.   
  
And Finn couldn't believe that Roman had obviously enjoyed himself.   
  
The gentle feeling of Roman's hand massaging his leg made Finn groan internally.   
  
Finn shook the thoughts out of his head. He needed to stop thinking about Roman like that. Now was not the time and place. Besides, Finn would just have to wait until the hotel room to see if Roman would show up.   
  
He turned his blue-green eyes back to the screen and watched the match finally start. Roman was obviously feeling the effects of yesterday's Hell in a Cell. He wasn't fighting with his usual power.   
  
And to no one's surprise at all, Baron Corbin grabbed a chair and threw it at Roman's beautiful face as the Samoan had been running towards him.   
  
The ref called for a disqualification. And just like Corbin had done to Finn the other week, he restarted the match as a no DQ.   
  
The minute the acting General Manager said that Finn knew there was bound to be some interruptions. From a number of people. Heck. Even Finn if he wanted to.   
  
But he didn't want to.   
  
If he was going to hit Roman it would be on the bare ass, not in the ring while the bigger man was defending his championship.   
  
Sure he wanted to be champion. But Finn also really really liked Roman Reigns.   
  
Obviously, that will end up being a dilemma when Finn put himself in the title scene. But for now he just hoped Roman stayed champ. Because Finn wanted more matches with the large Samoan man.   
  
Finn watched as Roman covered a pin on Baron. But Baron kicked out and Braun Strowman's music hit. Roman grabbed the discarded chair and waited for Braun to get to the ring but before that could happen, Corbin knocked him down. Roman's resiliency energizes him to stand up again. But this time he was met with Braun. Braun attacked Roman repeatedly, whipping him into the corner.   
  
Roman side stepped Braun, the Monster Among Men slammed his shoulder into the post. Finn smirked. Just when Roman thought he would have a second to breathe, Corbin punched the back of his head and putting him that corner again. Roman dodged, but Corbin flew back into the ring and hit him with the Deep Six.   
  
Finn held his breath as he watched Corbin pin Roman. He only let the breath out when Roman kicked out at 2.   
  
He saw movement from the corner of his eye. Finn looked to the side and saw Dolph and Drew running for the Gorilla. And hot on their trail was Seth and Dean, Seth still limping from yesterday's crash threw the table.   
  
Back on the monitor, Braun's pet dogs came out followed by the Shield boys. The fight spilled around the ring. Seth and Dean took care of Dolph and Drew while Braun lifted himself to the apron. Roman quickly landed a superman punch on the big dufus.   
  
Seth and Dean joined Roman in the ring, checking their friend. They kept an eye on the others outside the ring. You could here Seth ask if Roman was okay. And Finn wondered if they could tell if he was hurt when no one else could. That was the benefit of having friends. They always knew.   
  
Dean paced around a little before he and Seth exchanged a look and they both ran for the suicide dive.   
  
With them out of the way, Corbin gets back in the ring. But Roman was waiting for him with a particularly sharp spear.   
  
Finn stopped himself from cheering when Roman won.   
  
He knew that Gallows and Anderson were sending him knowing smirks. He didn't need to give them anymore fuel. Like he thought a little while ago. Friends always knew. The bastards.   
  
Seth and Dean got back in the ring and checked on Roman again. Maybe he was hurt? But Roman lifted his arms up and Finn knew he was good.   
  
Though, Finn smirked at the thought, Seth was in the ring with a chair in hand. And if he was Roman he would be a little hesitant. You could never trust Seth in the ring with a chair.   
  


* * *

  
Roman didn't want to seem desperate for a fuck, but he was ready to push his best friends out of the locker room. They were taking forever to get changed and grab their gear to go.   
  
"Are you guys doing this on purpose?" Roman said, voice low.   
  
Seth gave him a knowing smirk and Dean gave him an innocent smile, dimples in view.   
  
"My! What ever do you mean?" Dean said. He blinked slowly. The picture of innocence.   
  
Roman scoffed. "The innocent thing does not work for you anymore now that you have that burly Triple H/Stone Cold love child look."   
  
Seth busted out laughing, unable to control himself.   
  
Dean just gave him a shocked look. "How dare you? Now I'm really going to take my sweet time."   
  
Seth was still laughing, eyes watering. And his laughter made Roman laugh despite wanting to leave.   
  
And with Seth and Roman laughing, it took only a few seconds before Dean was laughing too. "Screw you guys," he said. "I look fucking amazing." He grabbed his bags and made his way to the door with a sigh. "Okay Seth let's go before Roman dies of blue balls."   
  
Outside the room Renee waited. "What's so funny in there?" She asked when Dean slung his arm around her.   
  
Dean pouted down at her. "They made fun of the way I look."   
  
Renee chuckled grabbing his face with both of her hands. She kissed his pout sweetly. "Well, that's not nice of them. But it's okay because I love it."   
  
Dean's pout turned into a cute smile. He kissed her back. "You heard it boys. Her opinion is the only one that matters."   
  
Seth shook his head. "I would make a whipped comment, but I'm probably sure you're into that."   
  
Roman chuckled, rolling his bags behind him as he walked towards the parking lot.   
  
"Hey!" Dean complained. "It's not whipped to be a loving husband. No matter what we do in our spare time."   
  
Renee gave Dean a gentle shove, mouth open and eyes set in playful anger. "Don't tell them our secrets!" She joked.   
  
Seth cringed. "Oh God. I was kidding. But now, I'm not sure."   
  
Dean chuckled, tongue sticking out slightly. Renee took the chance to give Dean a frisky smack to the ass. She grinned up at him. His eyes sparked with lust and he gave her a low growl. It made her snicker.   
  
Seth rolled his eyes. He was surrounded by people getting laid. Dean and Renee were literally giving eachother _fuck me_ eyes. And then Seth was entirely positive that Roman was in a hurry because he was going to fuck around with Finn Balor back at the hotel.   
  
But Seth was going to go to the hotel and sleep. Because fuck his life he had no one to go cuddle with.   
  
His thoughts instantly thought of Nikki Bella and her beautiful smile.   
  
Sigh.   
  
His pillow would have to be his cuddle buddy tonight.   
  
The drive to the hotel wasn't long. Dean drove this time. They only allowed him to drive when it was short distances since Dean had a knack for running out of gas. They were going to spend the night at the hotel and then all of them had early flights back home for a few days rest. Then the house shows started up again on Friday.   
  
Dean and Renee of course had thier own room. Which Seth was almost sure no sleeping would happen in. It was expected though. Dean had been home for so long and Renee had been pulling double duty with Raw and Smackdown and PPVs. They had barely seen eachother. And now that they at least saw eachother 4 days a week, they couldn't help being all cute and lovey-dovey together. Good for them.   
  
Seth unlocked his and Roman's door. He walked in and started stripping off his shirt. He was ready for bed just like that, in a pair of loose sweat pants.   
  
Roman dropped his bag next to the other bed. He smelled his shirt and made a face. He quickly took it off. His hand dug through his bags until he found a tight black muscle shirt. He took his cologne out and sprayed some on, making sure not to overdo it.   
  
Maybe he should take a shower first?   
  
He didn't want to take too long though. Finn was waiting   
  
He zipped to the bathroom, wet a towel and wiped himself down, hoping it would be okay. I mean he and Finn had been in the ring together and had thrown eachother around sweating before. Sweat shouldn't be a big deal. Roman nodded to himself in the bathroom mirror. He was fine.   
  
He exited the bathroom and grabbed his spare hotel key and his phone.   
  
Seth watched him amused from where he was laying under the covers. Roman smirked at him from over his shoulder. "Don't wait up."   
  
Seth just laughed, watching Roman leave the room. Roman was such a happy puppy. But Seth would probably be a happy puppy too if he was going to go get his dick sucked. Seth groaned into his pillow. Seth "Forever alone" Rollins.   
  
Roman made sure not to look too suspicious walking down the hallway and back on the elevator to up a floor. He made sure to be on the look out. He did not need anyone seeing him and outing him to the dirt sheets. He has had enough of overly abusive fans lately. He also didn't want to bump into another coworker. Talk about awkward.   
  
He made it to the room with the room number he had memorized.   
  
He knocked strongly.   
  
And waited. His heartbeat slammed in his chest.   
  
Less then a minute passed by, but it felt like a long time to Roman.   
  
Finn opened the door, shirtless. A pair of basketball shorts hung low on his toned waist, giving Roman the best view.   
  
The Irishman smirked, grabbed Roman by the arm and pulled him into the room, closing the door behind him.   
  
The second the automatic lock beeped, Roman pushed Finn into the door.   
  


* * *

  
_(grins)  
Stay tuned.   
  
Love Natsuki Lee_


	6. Chapter 6

The Irishman smirked, grabbed Roman by the arm and pulled him into the room, closing the door behind him.   
  
The second the automatic lock beeped, Roman pushed Finn into the door.   
  
Roman put a hand on each side of Finn's head and took a step forward, closing Finn in against that door. Finn's bright eyes looked over Roman's face, that smirk having never left him.   
  
Roman look Finn in the eyes for a second before ducking his head down towards the shorter man. Finn met him half way. And their lips met softly at first, sliding against eachother. Finn's lips were smooth and Roman liked their feel.   
  
Roman pressed in farther, flush against Finn's muscular body. Finn put a hand on Roman's face softly, sliding it back and pressing Roman's face closer to him, intensifying the kiss.   
  
The kiss went from soft to desperate in only a few seconds. Lips smashed together. Growls. Hands gripping the other's shirt. Both of them were dying to breathe, but they didn't want to let go of it. Roman's tongue was in Finn's mouth slipping in and out.   
  
Finn groaned. So hot.   
  
He pulled away from the kiss and swooped underneath Roman's right arm until he was a few steps behind the bigger man. Roman looked over his shoulder at him with a smirk. Finn beckoned Roman over with a crook of his finger.   
  
Roman turned around and took the few short steps to stand in front of Finn. Finn tugged at his shirt and pulled it up and off of Roman.   
  
The bigger man watched as Finn looked him over, slightly insecure suddenly. Finn's body was tight and toned and it made Roman aware that he was not toned like the smaller man.   
  
But the instance that Roman felt Finn's hands run down his chest and abdomen, Roman's thoughts disintegrated. Finn's hands were cool on his hot skin.   
  
Finn gave a short moan feeling Roman's skin under his fingers. He had many dreams about this. Many lonely nights on the road thinking about feeling the man in front of him. Finn leaned forward and placed kisses down Roman's body until he was on his knees, scraping his teeth against the skin above Roman's jeans.   
  
He heard Roman hum and looked up at him. Roman looked down, eyes hazy. The sight of Finn on his knees was sending blood rushing down. The way Finn's blue-green hues looked at him as he licked a strip down from his naval was so sexy.   
  
Finn dragged his hands down Roman's sides to the jean's button, popping it undone. He pulled the zipper down with his teeth, brushing against the clothed semi-erection. He smiled satisfied at Roman's moaned reaction.   
  
He stood up off his knees and latched his lips to Roman's again, hungry to taste the man. Roman's hands gripped deliciously at his hips, keeping the smaller man pressed against him.   
  
Finn brought his hands up to Roman's tied hair and worked the hair tie out, setting the long locks free. He threaded his fingers through it. He enjoyed the feel of it for a few seconds, as they made out, before he worked his hands down to Roman's waist and hooked his thumbs in the belt loops. He groaned into Roman's mouth when he felt Roman's erection press into his.   
  
Roman took Finn's bottom lip in his teeth and growled. The noise went right to Finn's cock and he bucked his hips unconsciously. Roman let go of his lip to grin.   
  
Roman shoved Finn back towards the bed and followed him, taking long slow steps. Like Roman was an animal prowling for his prey   
  
At the foot of the bed, Finn grabbed and pushed Roman down and crawled on top of him. And they laid on the bed making out fiercely, hungrily. Tongues slid against eachother. A drip of drool slipped down Finn's chin. Roman's fat tongue lapped the drool up, a carnal look on his face. Finn put his hands under Roman's waistband and tried to push them down, suddenly very annoyed that he wasn't feeling Roman naked against him yet.   
  
Roman chuckled against his lips and pushed Finn back a bit so he could take off his own jeans and sneakers. He tossed his jeans to the floor, registering the sound of his phone clattering. He hoped the screen wasn't cracked.   
  
He sat up and pulled down Finn's shorts. His eyes widened and then narrowed, pupils blown with lust when he saw that Finn had no underwear on. He groaned at the sight of the growing erection. It twitched under his gaze.   
  
Roman softly ran his hand up from Finn's balls to the tip. Finn's shivered and closed his eyes, panting.   
  
The smaller man suddenly pushed Roman back down and ripped Roman's boxer briefs down his legs, throwing them over his shoulder. Finn moaned as he raked his eyes over Roman's sexy body. He kissed down the abdomen, trailing saliva as he worked his way to Roman's hip. There he sucked hard, nipping against the skin, before moving towards the trim dark curls surrounding a thick cock.   
  
Finn took the girth in his hand and bit his lip in excitement. Roman was thick. Not unbearbly so, just enough make Finn drool. He pumped his hand up and down slowly, looking at Roman as he did so.   
  
Roman propped himself on his elbows. As Finn jerked him off his brown eyes wandered and landed on the best ass he had ever seen in his life. It was round and defined. It looked great for grabbing and slapping.   
  
Finn crawled to lay between Roman's legs, pushing them apart with his body. He took the hard cock and brought it just before his lips.   
  
Roman looked at him with hungry eyes. "Don't just look at it," he muttered.   
  
Finn grinned. "But it's so nice looking."   
  
Roman laughed. But the laughter turned into a strangled groan when Finn ran his tongue across the sensitive head.   
  
Finn took him in his mouth, bobbing up and down the length. Everytime he came up to the head he'd swipe the flat of his tongue there. Then he'd move down again. And as much as Roman liked the scene of Finn's lips stretched over his cock, he closed his eyes, and leaned his head back, feeling his long hair brush against the bedspread behind him.   
  
Finn's mouth was sinful. His tongue knew the right times and the right spots.   
  
Finn pulled his mouth off Roman with a pop and readjusted his position, turning his toned body to the side so he could jerk himself while he sucked Roman off. He was so, so turned on feeling Roman's hot cock in his mouth. The way Roman tasted was better than Finn had ever imagined. This was straight out of his dreams.   
  
Roman had opened his eyes when he felt Finn's mouth leave him. He watched as Finn play with himself. Transfixed on the way that skilled hand gripped and pumped.   
  
Finn's mouth was on him again and he grunted.   
  
Roman sat up and put a hand on Finn's head, petting the dark short hair.   
  
"Baby boy," Roman groaned. "if you don't stop, I'll cum."   
  
Finn smirked around his hard dick. He pulled away and wiped his hand across his mouth. "So cum," Finn said. He leaned his lips back down and took a ball in his mouth giving it a good suck. He dropped it and locked eyes with Roman. "I want to make you feel good. You've been so stressed out lately, I just want to take care of you."   
  
Roman hummed low. Finn looked so pretty saying those words with his cock in his hands.   
  
Finn's took Roman in his mouth again. Down to the base this time, gagging slightly before pulling back. A string of saliva connected Finn's lips to the pulsing cock. He went back down and moaned at the taste that was purely Roman. The vibrations of his moan only made Roman harder.   
  
Roman laid back as he felt the familiar weight in his gut. He let out a string of curses and Finn hollowed his cheeks and sucked him off like an incubus. Was the demon real? Roman wondered. Because Finn was too good to be human.   
  
He bucked his hips up harshly a few times, savoring the noises it elicited from Finn. Finn steadied Roman's hip with his free hand and gave the Samoan a warning look. But Finn's eyes shined with desire, like he wanted more.   
  
He told Finn that he was about to cum in a low mutter. He could feel his body tightening.   
  
Finn pulled off and sat up, jerking Roman quickly and harshly.   
  
Roman gave a long low groan as a hot river of cum splurt out and ran down his length like a waterfall, coating Finn's knuckles.   
  
Finn took his hand away, wiping the hot cum on the comforter, before putting the hand on his own hardness. He looked over the spent Roman Reigns. So sexy. The bigger man laid on that bed, panting, eyes half-lidded and staring back up at him.   
  
Finn ran his free hand up and down Roman's leg beside him. He gripped at it, massaging his fingers into the muscles there.   
  
"Your ring gear hides how amazingly sexy your body is," Finn said, eyes moving up Roman's body, heatedly. "But I have to say I'm happy about that. Because I think I'd be very jealous if you shared this with the world."   
  
Roman had started to soften but watching Finn jerk himself off and say those possessive words had an affect on Roman.   
  
He sat up and grabbed Finn by the hips, flipping the man so that Finn was laying face down. Roman looked at the prone body and raked his short nails down Finn's sides. Finn moaned.   
  
Roman took Finn's ass cheeks in both hands and squeezed. "I appreciate you wanting to take care of me. That is very nice of you, baby boy. But I am dying to taste you."   
  
Finn groaned into the bed, his cock twitching under him. He had intended to make Roman satisfied only, but if the Big Dog wanted this, who was Finn to deny him.   
  
Roman knelt behind Finn. He pulled the Irishman's hips up making his ass stick out.   
  
A long low moan left Finn's slightly open mouth and his eyes lulled closed as he felt Roman spread him apart and swipe that wide tongue across his puckered hole.   
  
Roman went to work rimming Finn. The noises coming from the Samoan as he lapped Finn up were obscene and it made Finn drip pre-cum. Roman trailed his mouth down, nipping at the spot behind Finn's balls. He took Finn's hard dripping length in his hand, gently squeezing before putting him in his mouth. He gave a hard suck, letting the cock fall out of his mouth and licked back up to the saliva slicked hole.   
  
He licked his lips, savoring the flavor.   
  
"Damn Finn," Roman muttered. "You taste so good."   
  
Finn nodded. He had no idea why he nodded. Roman hadn't asked him a question. But Finn's mind was so cloudy that he'd had no idea what he was doing in general. He was feeling so much pleasure right now.   
  
For a long time he had liked Roman and only in his wildest fantasies did he imagine the man eating him out. But here he was. And Roman was enjoying doing it.   
  
Finn's body jolted in surprise as a finger replaced the tongue at his entrance. The finger pushed in slowly. It had been a while since since someone was spreading him open. He legs started to quiver.   
  
It felt so good.   
  
Roman sucked a spot on Finn's left ass cheek as he moved his finger in and out of Finn's hot tight hole. He wanted to fuck Finn until the smaller man couldn't walk straight. But Roman could feel himself getting close again. He was going to cum again, but this time just from the taste of Finn. He couldn't help it. The noises the other man made was so sensual.   
  
"You want me to fuck you?" He asked the withering man.   
  
Finn groaned deeply. "Yeah. But I won't last. I'm about to cum. Just keep going." He was panting.   
  
Roman grinned. "Of course, baby boy."   
  
Roman moved his finger faster, crooking and straightening it. He added a second finger.   
  
His lips went back to that love bite he was creating on Finn's ass, his other hand jerking himself off.   
  
Finn's breathing picked up. Roman pulled his mouth away and watched Finn's sexy cock twitched as it came. Hot strings of cum splattered against the bed. Roman took his fingers out and rubbed his newly free hand up and down Finn's muscular thigh. Finn's body shivered, still feeling the affects of his orgasm.   
  
Finn's sated body drooped down against the bed, bright eyes almost shut.   
  
Roman's hand pumped faster and harder and he groaned as he came for a second time that night. This time it was less, but the thick liquid dribbled down his still pumping hand and landed on Finn's upper thigh.   
  
He laid himself down next to Finn, placing kisses on Finn's shoulder.   
  
Finn hummed, shifting closer to Roman. He looked at Roman. His body felt like jelly, satisfied beyond belief.   
  
Roman smiled at the way Finn was looking at him. He chuckled. "Feel good?"   
  
Finn nodded faintly. "So good."   
  
Roman sat up. He leaned down and kissed Finn's lips softly, holding it there for a second. "I really want to cuddle you're sexy body right now, but I don't think it's a good idea getting caught tomorrow morning leaving your room with the same clothes on."   
  
Finn laughed, a rumble in his chest. "You mean you don't like the walk of shame?"   
  
Roman laughed to, then kissed Finn's lips again. "Love it. Best time of my life," he said sarcastically.   
  
He stood and stretched his arms out. His hands ran through his tangled hair, getting it out of his face.   
  
Finn's eyes took in the sight with hunger. He was completely drained. But the sight of Roman's naked body standing at the side of his bed made a valid argument as to why Finn should grab Roman and do it all over again.   
  
But Finn didn't have the energy. He was fighting to keep his eyes open. Roman had cum twice, but Finn was the one unable to move. It must have been the emotional satisfaction of having your unrequited love interest eat him out.   
  
Roman had started picking up his discarded clothes, finding his boxer briefs near the small loveseat couch. He looked at Finn as he got dressed.   
  
He softly smiled. Roman was feeling so much better. Less stressed out. The weight on his shoulders lessened. This was really needed. And Finn's talented mouth made it all ten times better.   
  
Finn looked like he was about to fall asleep, so Roman swatted the smaller man on the ass. "Baby boy, get yourself cleaned up and under the covers. Don't fall asleep like that, you'll catch a cold."   
  
Finn chuckled. "Yes, daddy." He smirked, slyly   
  
Roman's eyes glinted and he tilted his head to the side. He growled lowly. "Don't tempt me."   
  
Finn smirked as he sat up. He pulled Roman to him by the arm. He lifted himself up, using the last of his energy, and kissed Roman. His other hand gripped at Roman's hair, pulling gently. "You can't tell me what to do, Reigns."   
  
Roman laughed into the kiss. He pulled away giving a quick slap to Finn's ass, enjoying the way it jiggled. "I need to go," he whispered. "But we will be doing this again and again..."   
  
Roman made sure he had his key card and phone before heading to the door. "And again."   
  
Finn watched Roman leave his room with a content smile on his face. Then he let himself fall back against the bed, crawling under the messed up covers.   
  
He was about to have his best night sleep in a long time.   
  
The next morning Finn would find Roman's hair tie on the floor where it had been forgotten. He picked it up, put it around his wrist and wore it on his flight back home to Florida.   
  
The next morning Seth would wake up to his phone alarm and look over at Roman who was snoring away, still fully clothed, over the covers. His long hair was a mess but his face was peaceful.   
  
"Well, someone had a good night," Seth muttered to himself. He shoved Roman awake, half out of jealously and half out of making it to the airport on time.   
  


* * *

  
**Monday September 24, 2018**   
  
The days off had gone peacefully. Roman was feeling refreshed. After a month of so much stress, he was enjoying time off.   
  
Roman was busy at home though, with bills to pay, family to spend time with, workouts, and travel to plan.   
  
But at night when he slept alone in bed, his hand would wander down and he'd imagine Finn's magical stress relieving tongue wrapped around him. After Roman would cum, mouth open in a silent moan, he'd fall asleep peacefully.   
  
But back on the road Roman had little time for himself. Media and house shows kept him running around. And he knew Finn was there, but he barely had time to talk to the man.   
  
He wanted to.   
  
He wanted to grab Finn and push him into a broom closet and have his way with him.   
  
Fuck that pretty mouth-   
  
But Roman could only send him heated stares in the hallways as they passed eachother.   
  
Seth and Dean couldn't hold their amusement watching Roman look Finn up and down. They were completely happy that Roman wasn't obsessing over his John Cena rejection.   
  
He still was.   
  
They wouldn't know it.   
  
But Roman's heart still banged into his rib cage at the thought that John Cena was going to be in Australia 2 weeks away. Roman was dreading it. He was also waiting for it. He wanted to talk to John. He wanted to just go back to before the confession and have a decent time with the guy.   
  
But his heart ached when remembered that wasn't going to happen ever again.   
  
No matter what John said in a text, their relationship had changed. Roman had crossed a line and John would most likely feel awkward around him.   
  
So no matter if last Monday he and Finn had great sex, Roman was still hopelessly in love with John Cena.   
  
And Seth and Dean had no clue.   
  
Because Roman didn't want them to know how pathetic he really was.   
  
Roman paced in the corridor outside the crowd entrance with his boys as the show was starting soon. So far his day in Denver had been so busy. He had little time for himself. He had interviews and photoshoots. A couple Make-a-wishes. And a bunch of autographs to sign for WWE Shop. Holidays were coming, people loved buying gift packages with autographs in it.   
  
Not to mention merchandise meetings to discuss gear for the Shield.   
  
The boys had been running around non-stop.   
  
The Shield brothers waited for their cue from a road agent.   
  
When they got the go ahead and heard their music play they entered the arena together. It felt good doing this again. Coming together as a team to their theme song, the crowd cheering.   
  
In the ring, the boys let the crowd cheer a little. Then Dean started talking about how they were workhorses. He referenced their recent losses and said "We may have lost a few battles here and there, but we have never lost the war. ...And as you can see, we're still standing."   
  
Roman nodded along. They have never lost a war. They kept going. They kept working. They didn't fucking give up when it got tough. They slapped a scowl on and pushed through. Whether it be injury, loss, or heartbreak.   
  
Roman started to talk and the crowd booed him. He held back the laugh bubbling in his chest. He told the crowd that titles change lives and that the only men who deserved these titles were standing in the ring at that moment. Dean shuffled behind Seth and Roman as they proudly showed off their gold. Roman wish Dean had something too.   
  
Seth started insulting Drew and Dolph as a pack of jackasses and Roman smirked. When he called Baron Corbin the world's largest substitute teacher he caught the amusement in Dean's blue eyes. Seth was on a roll tonight. So he called Baron Corbin out.   
  
Corbin comes out spewing some shit about how he was putting his foot down and that he was going to impress Stephanie Mcmahon with who he was choosing for his tag partners and how he was going to beat the Shield tonight. It was actually a little funny. Sad, but funny. Only an idiot would think Baron had a chance.   
  
He called the Shield selfish and Roman just gave Baron a look of disgusted confusion. But Baron Corbin wasn't wrong. The Shield had made many enemies in the back over the years. Especially now that they were champs. No one liked the champs unless they were a champ.   
  
To be a champion was to have a constant target on your back. John had taught Roman that, after their rivalry. When they sat backstage after the match, John had patted his back. Cameras were gone so John spared him a small smile and told Roman to be prepared. Bigger battles were to come.   
  
To no surprise at all, Braun and his pack of jackasses came out.   
  
Braun sent waves of anger through Roman the second he told them to shine their titles up real nice because they weren't going to be wearing them for too long. But the anger intensified when he said the Shield was cracking. That the Shield was going to implode.   
  
And Roman could hear a growl forming deep in his chest when Braun called that Dean was going to betray the Shield.   
  
"The Shield needs you, but you don't need the Shield."   
  
Roman's eyes flickered to his brother, to his best friend. And Dean looked so angry. But his eyes stayed blank. Dean was unreadable.   
  
He could feel the dread building in his gut. Roman was having flashbacks of June 2014 when a chair came crashing into his back and Seth stood tall. Roman was feeling the same feelings of betrayal build a wall around his brain. He couldn't think of anything else in that moment other than Dean Ambrose.   
  
He even found himself starting to believe Dolph Ziggler's convincing argument. Dean had no gold around his waist. He had come back to help Seth and help Roman in the end. Dolph talked about how Seth and Dean didn't deserve Dean. Maybe they didn't. But they loved him. He was their brother. Roman scowled at Dolph.   
  
But Dolph reminded the watching world that Dean had been a champion on Smackdown with out his Shield brothers. He had been a good champion, too.   
  
But right now... Seth and Roman had it all, and it was all thanks to Dean.   
  
And Roman couldn't deny that statement in his heart. He owed so much to Dean. Seth owed so much to Dean. Dean had always been there for them, even in their darkest times. Even when Seth crossed them and went to slobber on Triple H's shoes. Dean had been there. And Dean had accepted Seth's apology for 2014. Dean had welcomed Seth back like a brother. Dean had never left Roman when he struggled on his path to several short championship runs.   
  
Dean was important to Roman and Seth.   
  
The short-haired Shield member's eyes were hard. He shook with anger. Was he angry because Braun and company were dead wrong? Or was he angry that they were telling his truth?   
  
Roman and Seth looked disgusted. They gave faces of annoyance and agitation.   
  
They tried to tell Dolph to shut up, but Dolph dug the knife in by speaking directly to Dean. "They won't even let you talk," the bottle blond said.   
  
Roman could feel his blood turn toxic as a mix of anger and fear bubbled together. Dolph was offering Dean the chance to betray the Shield with their help. Dolph told Dean that if he hung out with them that the Intercontinental title would be Dean's. Roman saw Seth go rigid at that.   
  
Roman finally had enough and growled out that the crowd had paid to see them whoop asses not talk. The Shield boys prepared themselves as the 3 assholes marched down to the ring. But Baron separated them. Dolph and Drew had to defend their titles tonight. And the Shield had the main event against Corbin and whatever plague riddled termites he could find to team up with him.   
  


* * *

  
They didn't make it far from the Gorilla position when Roman grabbed Dean's arm and pulled him to a stop. Dean hadn't said a word yet. Dean had been in a silent fury since Dolph spouted all that mess.   
  
Dean didn't look Roman in the eyes.   
  
Seth ran his hands through his damp hair as he stared at Dean's blank face.   
  
Roman felt nauseous.   
  
"Dean," Roman said, letting go of Dean's wrist. "Come on man! You cannot tell me you payed attention to their crap?"   
  
Seth crossed his arms over his chest. He had no idea what to do. He was shaking.   
  
Dean brought both hands down his face. His bright blue eyes looked steadily at Roman and then at Seth. "I need some alone time," he grunted.   
  
"Dean?" Seth exclaimed. His tone was surprised.   
  
A heavy feeling weighed Roman to the ground. He couldn't move.   
  
Dean turned and walked away, body tense. "I'll see you at the main event."   
  
And Roman felt his heart break.   
  
He hated not having his best friend around those 9 months. How would he survive Dean ending their friendship over a championship?   
  
Roman loved this title. But he would gladly give Dean the chance for it, if that would keep the lunatic fringe by his side.   
  
Dolph's words had obviously struck a chord deep in Dean. Those weren't new emotions clouding Dean's face   
  
Roman had no clue Dean had been feeling this way. And by Seth's face, the architect didn't either.   
  


* * *

  
Finn Balor had watched the show from the main monitor area. He was well aware of the hushed conversations around him. Everyone had their mind on one thing: what was the fate of the Shield.   
  
He felt sad.   
  
Finn had gotten to know Seth in rehab. He talked to Dean sometimes. And he loved Roman. To see them crumbling made his heart heavy.   
  
To see the emotions and distress cross Roman's face as he listened to Dolph's monologue was agonizing. He could see it clear as day that Roman was hurting. Dean was his best friend.   
  
Finn wondered if there was or ever had been anything between Dean and Roman. It wouldn't surprise Finn if Roman had been upset that night in Brooklyn because of Dean. Perhaps Roman and Dean were having some clandestine affair?   
  
The idea brewed jealousy in Finn. But it also made him pity Roman even more. This all must be killing the Samoan.   
  
Finn sighed as he stood. He had a match against Jinder to get ready for. A road agent signaled to him, they wanted him to do a quick vignette with Bayley, his mixed match challenge partner and good friend.   
  
He stood from the chair he had been sitting on, grabbed his red jacket and went to the designated area.   
  
He put the jacket on and popped his collar.   
  
Bayley came up beside him, wearing his new shirt. She grinned at him and he grinned back. They hugged. Bayley was his favorite person. She was the perfect support system and he felt suddenly very thankful for her. When they let go, Bayley mimicked him and pretended to pop her vest collar.   
  
They started heading to the Gorilla as the cameras shut off and moved away.   
  
He looked at her an grinned. It was weird after months always around eachother that Sasha wasn't close by. But she was sadly hurt.   
  
Bayley fell a step behind Finn as she asked the road agent a few questions about his opinion on the Shield situation.   
  
When they got to the Gorilla, she put her arm around Finn with a devious smirk. Devious on Bayley was a funny look. It made her look like a child who had a secret.   
  
"What?" he asked her.   
  
She pressed her lips together, trying to hide her joy.   
  
He started to laugh. "What?"   
  
Bayley wiggled her eyebrows at him. "Nice hickie."   
  
Now Finn was definitely lost. He gave her a confused smile, unsure what she was talking about.   
  
Bayley tapped her hand on his butt. "I said, nice hickie."   
  
Realization hit Finn. His cheeks started to redden, matching almost hue for hue with his jacket. He was going to make some excuse but Bayley stopped him with a knowing grin.   
  
"Don't give me any bull, Balor. I know a hickie when I see one."   
  
He looked at anywhere but her. He didn't think Roman's mark was still there a week later. Jesus Christ!   
  
She laughed at his embarrassment. She slung an arm around him. "It's barely noticeable, don't worry."   
  
He looked at her an let himself chuckle. "So you're saying you were checking my ass out, Bayley?"   
  
Bayley shrugged. A roadie near the monitors and the brass cued her and her music started to play. She rushed to the curtain. "Hey a girl can look," she joked and then disappeared.   
  
Finn let out a long breath. And then a smile cracked on his face.   
  
He kind of liked having the mark on him. It made his heart beat faster.   
  
His music was cued and he went through the curtain to meet Bayley for his match. A grin was plastered to his face.   
  


* * *

  
If Roman had a sound mind at the moment he would have realized that the image of Bayley jumping into Finn's arms when Finn won his match made Roman annoyed.   
  
Well... more annoyed.   
  
Okay. he wasn't annoyed.   
  
He was nervous.   
  
This whole thing with Dean was weighing heavily on his mind. He couldn't think of anything other than Dean.   
  
His brain whirred and buzzed like a machine trying to comb through memories, trying to see if he had done anything to make Dean hate him. To make Dean betray him.   
  
Seth nudged his shoulder and nodded his head to the monitor.   
  
They had been in the monitor area, hoping Dean would come back to them. But they were still waiting there, standing in the very back of the room, leaning against a wall. Both their arms crossed over their chests.   
  
Dean was on screen and Roman tensed the second Dolph popped up.   
  
Roman felt a bit of relief wash over him when Dean didn't spare a thought and grabbed Dolph by the shirt.   
  
But Dolph talked him down. And again Dolph started to ramble on about how Dean should get away from the Shield, even if it would be hard. Dolph asked Dean where Roman and Seth had been during those 9 months Dean was out and Roman felt sad. Roman rarely visited Dean during that time because he couldn't. It wasn't because he didn't want to.   
  
He thought Dean had understood that. He thought Dean understood Roman's hectic schedule.   
  
Dolph looked Dean square in the eye and told him "just give me the signal and we'll take care of the rest." Dolph left Dean. And Dean looked like he was thinking about it all.   
  
Roman's head was killing him. This was becoming way too much. All these mind games.   
  
Dolph was smart. He wasn't playing games to get Dean to leave the Shield. He was playing games to weaken all of them. Dolph knew that by splitting up the Shield, Roman would become incomplete. The emotional turmoil would distract Roman from his path as the Universal Champion.   
  
Seth turned and punched his gloved fist against the cinder block wall. He rose his wavering eyes to Roman and the bigger man could see Seth's brain working.   
  
"I need to do something."   
  
"Like what?" Roman asked his friend.   
  
Seth gave him a determined look. "I'm going to find a weak link."   
  
Roman quirked a brow but he didn't say anything as Seth left him and walked down the hall. To where? Roman had no idea.   
  
Roman stayed where he was. He leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.   
  
He hoped Seth had some clue on what to do. This situation was sensitive and he knew one wrong move could ruin them. Could break their family.   
  
Somewhere in Roman, he knew that if he was just given the chance to talk to Dean, it would ease his mind. If Roman could just talk to Dean and prove to the man that they were best friends, brothers, family, that everything would be okay.   
  
But he also knew that Dean needed his time to think and process. Because Dolph talked pretty but he spoke some valid points. Roman didn't want to admit it. He really didn't. But he knew Dolph's words had some truth to it by just the way Dean was reacting.   
  
Dean resented them. He resented Roman's recent success.   
  
And that was the knife that would stab Roman in the heart and kill him slowly.   
  
He heard Dolph and Drew's match to the Revival start and he knew that it was probably a great match by the sound of the crowd. But the sight of Dolph was going to send Roman over the edge. He was angry enough, already.   
  
And then a soft hush fell over his coworkers. He peaked his eyes open and looked at the monitor in time to catch the last seconds of Dean watching Dolph and Drew's match.   
  
And the weight hanging over Roman's body dropped heavily on his shoulders. He was sure his face had paled.   
  
There was a feeling in Roman like he was going to break down.   
  
Roman had been hurt when Seth betrayed them, of course. But nothing was comparable to this. Because Dean was his best friend. Dean and him had worked together and protected eachother for years. They had been side by side through thick and thin after Seth left them. They were close.   
  
But, Roman watched with despair in his eyes, maybe not close enough.   
  
Roman needed to get away from these people, so he walked away to find a more private screen. He couldn't be around so many people as his world came crashing down.   
  
His life was a mess. And one of the people he needed the most was stabbing him in the back.   
  
He was sitting on a large wooden moving crate by the time Drew was on screen. Roman watched with worried eyes. What now!?   
  
Roman held his breath as Seth came on screen. Seth took Dolph words from earlier and twisted them back on Drew. Seth made a valid argument that Drew wasn't living up to his potential because he was carrying Dolph (literally) and being used by Braun.   
  
"Why is Dolph getting the title opportunities? What about you?" Seth asked Dolph, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.   
  
Drew's mouth was pursed and his eyes went hard. Roman could tell Seth had hit a nerve.   
  
"Take a long look in the mirror," Seth said as he left.   
  
Roman almost smirked when Dolph asked Drew what was going on and Drew just rushed away muttering a "Don't worry about it."   
  
Seth found the weak link.   
  
But Roman didn't feel like smirking. He was exhausted and they still had a match.   
  
Seth had found him a few minutes later. He hopped up and sat next to Roman on the crate. They sat in silence. The heaviest silence ever.   
  
They watched the show together, championship belts discarded to the side. It felt a little dirty cradling the thing when it was causing more problems then desired. Roman squeezed the empty water bottle in his hand. He had to move his hands. He was growing more and more worried about tonight as the minutes ticked by.   
  
Seth growled at the screen when it showed Drew confronting Dean in the trainer's room.   
  
The way Drew talked to Dean was almost familiar and it gave Seth a bad feeling.   
  
Seth ran his hand over his face when Drew's tone turned critical and sneered in his Scottish accent, "It's not like Seth ever stabbed you in the back before."   
  
"Fuck," Seth groaned.   
  
"You think Dean's gonna do it?" Roman asked quietly, not looking at Seth.   
  
Seth sighed. "I have no idea, Ro. But it's not looking good."   
  


* * *

  
Dean had joined Seth and Roman at the entrance to the crowd. He said nothing.   
  
They made their entrance and he said nothing.   
  
They listened to Corbin yammer on about how the Shield was going to dismantle and that members of the male roster were jumping at the chance to help it happen.   
AOP came out with their tiny manage Drake Maverick. Roman's mind was in no place to think right now, but he couldn't help the image of the hamster trying to eat a banana when he looked at Maverick next to Akam and Rezar. The dudes were big.   
  
This was going to be a challenge.   
  
The match was about to start when Braun's music started up. Roman watched with weary eyes as Braun, Dolph and Drew set up some chairs and sat there on the stage to watch the match.   
  
Maybe Roman needed to take up meditation. As much as fucking had calmed his stress last week, Roman was positive fucking Finn Balor in the ring would not be a good idea, no matter how many fangirls would rejoice. No Roman needed a way to de-stress in the ring. Because right now he was panicking under the weight he was carrying on his shoulders.   
  
Was Jinder Mahal charging for lessons?   
  
The bell rang and Dean started the match against Corbin.   
  
Renee's hands were in fists as she called the match. Corey asked her if she had heard about any of Dolph's key points from Dean before. She watched her husband fight as she responded truthfully, hiding her emotions from her voice. "I've never heard a word out of Dean about what Drew and Dolph said. But there was some truth to their words."   
  
The match was pretty even, despite AOP being huge lumbering strongmen.   
  
The Shield held their own. And so far Dean hadn't walked away so that was a plus.   
  
The crowd cheered when Roman got tagged in and he stood with Rezar in the ring. But Roman's head space was all types of fucked up and he didn't realize how bad of an idea it was to try and fireman's carry Rezar. That was a hard nope. But at least he was able to land a superman punch.   
  
Roman's eyes went wide when Rezar got up real quick. Damn.   
  
Both teams rushed inside the ring and faced off briefly before they all started fighting. The Shield held their yard, though, tossing AOP and Corbin out the ring on their asses.   
  
Braun and his pet mutts got up and started walking to the ring, distracting the Shield boys. AOP and Corbin took the chance and attacked them from behind like the bitches they were. Corbin tried to pin Roman, but he kicked out.   
  
Roman saw that Braun and company were now sitting closer on the ramp. Watching. Waiting. And it pissed him off.   
  
The match continued on, but it got to the point where Seth was getting slaughtered in the ring. He took several punches from the cocky bastard that was their acting general manager. Seth got out of it and tries to tag Dean but Dean gets pulled down.   
  
Seth wasn't going to lie. He didn't realize Dean had been pulled down at first and thought the worst. He had thought that Dean had jumped away willingly.   
  
Roman went to help Dean, his best friend, but got thrown into the steel steps like a rag doll by Akam and Rezar. They beat him down and he slumped to the black mat.   
  
In the ring Corbin takes the chance to Deep Six Seth. Seth looked like he was losing his grip, but he kicked out at 2. Seth gathered all of his remaining energy and strength and took down his opponents alone. His brothers were down but he still had this.   
  
Finally he was able to tag Dean in hot. Dean went to work, angrily throwing punches. He was stopped a few times, but he was able to elbow drop and go for the pin on Corbin, but AOP broke the count. Roman shot inside the ring and superman punched one of AOP. Seth rushed to help, stomping Corbin in the head and a suicide dive to the outside of the ring. They were a mess right now. Seth was just running around taking bitches out.   
  
Dean got Corbin in the Dirty Deeds and then tagged Roman who speared Corbin good. Roman went for the pin. And he was relieved when the bell rang. They had won.   
  
Seth hugged Roman, their titles in hand, but Roman looked around.   
  
Where was Dean?   
  
He let go of Seth and saw Dean slumped against the barricade. He waved Dean in. Pleaded him to join them inside the ropes. But Dean gets up and instead walks towards the ramp. He kneels there, looking back and forth between his best friends and his enemies.   
  
Dean's hand goes to his arm and Roman hopes he isn't injured again.   
  
Roman and Seth stand in the center of the ring, praying. Begging Dean with their eyes. The crowd was chanting Shield, but Roman could care less about them. He didn't give a shit if they wanted Dean with the Shield. Because the only think that mattered was that he and Seth wanted Dean in the Shield. With his family where he belonged.   
  
Roman couldn't breathe when Dean get's up and keeps his hard blue eyes on Braun.   
  
But then Dean turns and slides into the ring, back to his boys. Joy fills Roman.   
  
They pose together in the ring. The perfect picture moment.   
  
Dean is back to his energetic self again. He rambles out about this being where he belonged, not that anyone could hear him over the crowd's cheers. He turned and hugged Seth.   
  
And then when Dean hugged Roman, it was tight and Roman felt the weight if this entire day leave his body. His brother was still here.   
  
Even though Seth was smiling, a feeling still lingered in his head. It was the same feeling from 2014 when Roman and Dean were fighting alot and it drove Seth to betray them before they could to him. It was that feeling. But he pushed the itch to the back of his mind and enjoyed the best end of Raw the Shield has had since the night after SummerSlam.   
  


* * *

  
The roster didn't have a show until Sunday so everyone could relax in the hotel and just leave the next morning back to their respective homes.   
  
Renee had meetings after the show, so Dean stayed with his brothers while he waited for her to join them. They had opted for a two bed room at the hotel. The room was big, plenty of space. A wall divided the small sitting area and the beds. Renee was okay with the idea of sharing her room with 3 horribly annoying men. She flourished in the idea, honestly. Roman and Seth had become brothers to her. Brothers-in-law?   
  
Dean was calm now, but Roman could see the lingering effects in his eyes.   
  
Seth was showering so it was just Roman and Dean in the room. Roman looked at Dean as the man flipped through the channels of basic Denver cable.   
  
"Dean, you're my brother. I need you to remember that, okay?" Roman said, voice serious and low.   
  
Dean didn't look at him. But he smiled small, dimple poking his cheek. "I know," he replied.   
  
Hours later Dean and Renee slept on one bed and Seth snored softly beside Roman. They were completely used to sharing beds. It happened alot over their first run as the Shield. The room was pitch black except for the shine of lights coming in from the window. It cast shadows on the blankets covering Roman.   
  
Roman was wide awake. He stared at the window. His brain wouldn't shut off as it went over everything from that night. He had almost lost a friend tonight. It had been so close. And Roman was still worried that Dean will turn on them.   
  
"Champions don't have friends," he remembered John Cena telling him after their match at No Mercy last year. "Championships put a target on your back. Be prepared because bigger battles are to come."   
  
Roman didn't realize it then, but John wasn't warning him about powerful opponents like Brock Lesnar or Braun Strowman.   
  
No. Roman understood now. The bigger battles were with the people he held closest to him. Championships change things.   
  
Roman's phone buzzed taking him out of his worrisome thoughts.   
  
He didn't recognize the number but the message preview made him smile.   
  
_It's Finn. I got your number off a roadie._   
  
Roman sat up, a smile gracing his lips. He glanced at Seth to make sure he didn't wake the man up. Scratching his neck idly, he thought of a response. _You're starting to look a little stalker-ish lol  
  
Yeah, well you do bring out the worst in me._   
  
Roman chuckled. _I’d like to think after last week that I brought the best out of you_. Memories of Finn's sexy body sprawled in front of him clouded his vision. Roman licked his lips, unconsciously.   
  
Finn replied with a laughing emoji and a winking emoji. Before Roman could say anything, Finn sent a second message. _Oh you do. You bring out both._   
  
The Samoan man leaned back against the headboard. He was enjoying this light banter. It was comfortable. _My life is complete now_ Roman typed back.   
  
Finn's response made Roman laugh out loud. He had to stop himself from being too loud and waking Seth.   
  
Finn- _It should be. You should be honored to have me borderline stalking you._   
  
Roman- _Just borderline?_   
  
Finn- _Well, the tree outside your window is too far away to get a good look at ya, so yeah borderline._   
  
He couldn't help the dopey smile forming on his face. Nor could he help looking out the window at a treeless city view.   
  
Roman's eyes reread the conversation. He didn't hold back the amusement in his eyes since the dark hid his face. His mood was picking up for sure.   
  
His phone buzzed with another message. _So how are you? You okay after tonight?_   
  
Roman's face dropped a little, frowning. He had never had a booty call ask him how he was doing emotionally. It was refreshing. But Roman barely knew Finn so he wasn't ready to share any personal information with him. Roman wasn't the type to share his personal feelings all willy nilly.   
  
Well except that time he confessed his love to John Cena. But Roman will just blame Dean's influence on him for that one.   
  
Roman- _Okay. Stressed out. Nothing new._   
  
Finn took a few minutes to reply and Roman wondered if the man had fallen asleep. Then his phone buzzed and Roman felt his arousal peak at the response.   
  
_I can help you with that._   
  
Roman- _Oh yeah?_   
  
Roman had started rubbing his hand down his chest waiting for the Irishman's reply. He had a feeling where this was going, but that didn't take away from the thrill.   
  
_Yeah._   
  
_How_ Roman asked, with bated breath.   
  
Finn only sent back an emoji with it's tongue sticking out. And it made Roman grin.   
  
He threw the covers off of his legs and got off the bed. He almost tripped on the discarded luggage around the room as he rushed to the bathroom for privacy, feet padding against the carpet in a hurry.   
  
Roman closed the door, not bothering to make sure no one was witnessing this. He locked the door, leaned against the sink and called the number he had yet to save in his phone.   
  
The phone clicked when Finn answered, but the Irishman didn't say anything. Somewhere in Roman's horny mind he knew Finn was smirking on the other end of the line.   
  
"What's that tongue gonna do to make me feel better?" Roman growled.   
  
Finn chuckled. It was airy and low. A rumbling tenor. Roman liked it. It sent good vibes down his body, making the big man anticipate what was going to happen next.   
  
There was shuffling in the background of Finn's line. Roman could hear voices cat calling in the distance. The voices were familiar. Gallows and Anderson. Roman couldn't help his grin when he heard Finn mutter a snippy "Fuck off" and then the sound of a door closing. Gallows and Anderson booed loudly.   
  
Finn sighed. "Now that I have some privacy... Where were we?"   
  
Roman had this roguish glint in his eyes that made him look so very sexy. It was like he was planning something devious. "I was asking what you were going to do with that tongue."   
  
Finn hummed. "Whatever you want, Roman."   
  
"Yeah? Baby boy?" Roman sighed. "You gonna take care of me like last time."   
  
Finn made a muffled sound of agreement.   
  
"What are you going to do first?" Roman's voice was getting rumbly and husky. He took his free hand and palmed his growing erection through his shorts.   
  
"I'm going to take off those nice tight briefs off with my teeth," Finn crooned. Roman listened as Finn kept talking, closing his eyes to imagine Finn on his knees in front of him. Those hands feeling up and down Roman's sides. "I'm gonna take that heavy cock of yours in my hand and pump it slow, getting you hard."   
  
Roman pushed down his shorts and grasped his dick in a firm hand. He started to pump slowly, a rhythm that matched Finn's breathing over the phone.   
  
"Do I feel good, Roman?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Are you touching yourself?"   
  
Roman nodded at first before he realized Finn wouldn't be able to see him. "Yeah."   
  
"Good," Finn whispered. "I start to kiss you everywhere. You're so sexy, Roman. I just can't help but touch you all over."   
  
"Feels good, baby boy," Roman moaned. "What you gonna do next?"   
  
Finn's grin could be heard in his lusty tone. "I'm going to suck your dick so hard you can't breathe."   
  
A gasp left Roman. Finn's dirty words made him so hot. He squeezed the hand around his erection, softly rubbing his thumb over the head.   
  
"I'm going to make that thick cock nice and wet."   
  
Roman took his hand away for second as he rummaged the complimentary toiletries for a small bottle of lotion. He dripped some directly on to his length. The room temperature lotion felt cold on his burning hot skin. He groaned. Roman's hand went back in place. He spread the lotion around with skill learned by age and then pumped at a pace faster than the one before.   
  
"How do I taste?" Roman asked.   
  
Finn moaned. Roman could hear the tell tale sound of sucking. He could just picture Finn so turned on that he was sucking his own fingers for the sensation. Finn gasped out "so good."   
  
"Are you hard, Finn?" Roman inquired. His voice was gravelly but smooth at the same time. "Is my cock in your mouth getting you so hot that you can't help but touch yourself?"   
  
A whimper. It sent sparks down Roman's body and his cock pulsed in his hand. "You're voice is making me so hard, Roman."   
  
"What are you doing?"   
  
"Playing with myself."   
  
"How?"   
  
"One hand on my cock and a finger in my ass."   
  
Roman growled. "Baby boy is so slutty, huh? I bet that sexy hole of yours is just begging for me to fill it. If I were there right now, I'd be eating you out real good. Get you all ready for me."   
  
His hand pumped faster as he heard Finn's breathing pick up. Those groans coming over the line, laced with "Oh fuck" and "please" had Roman at the edge of release. "I'm going to fuck that ass so hard. You're not going to be able to stand. You want that, baby boy?"   
  
"Fuck yeah!" Finn grunted. "Fuck I want you in me so bad."   
  
They both were silent for a minute, enjoying eachother's labored breathing and moans, getting themselves off. Roman could hear Finn's voice get tight and the groans became strangled. "What do you want me to do, Roman?"   
  
"Cum for me."   
  
"Oh fuck," Finn groaned.   
  
Roman guided him to orgasm, whispering panted "Yeah, baby, that's it. Let me hear you."   
  
Then Finn let out a low lengthy groan followed by a few short moans. "Oh my God," Finn panted.   
  
Roman chuckled, loving the sound of Finn completely undone. He held the phone against his ear with his shoulder as he let that hand drop to play with his balls, continuing to jerk off. He pumped fast, wrist flicking quickly.   
  
"Let go, Roman," Finn husked. "I want you to cum on me."   
  
His head went back and the phone almost fell as he came into his cupped hand. He slumped back against the sink, legs a little weak. And even though he didn't make any loud sounds cumming, Finn knew by the hitch in his breathing.   
  
They panted, trying to regain their composure. Roman turned around and washed his hands.   
  
"So," Finn hummed. "What are you wearing?"   
  
Roman laughed. "A smile."   
  
Finn was quiet for second. Roman wasn't sure if he had said the wrong thing. But then Finn said, "Perfect. I'm glad I could help."   
  
Roman pulled his shorts up, and looked at his reflection in the mirror. "Oh no, it's my pleasure."   
  
"We should probably hang up before we arouse suspicions," Finn joked.   
  
"By the sound of it earlier, you already got Gallows and Anderson listening at the door."   
  
"Who said their not in the room with me now?," Finn chuckled. He was obviously joking, at least Roman hoped.   
  
"Well, that's my cue to hang up," Roman smirked. "Good night."   
  
"Good night, Roman."   
  
Roman liked the way his name played on Finn's lips. The Irish accent just made it all better.   
  
They hung up and Roman slowly made his way back to the bed.   
  
He flicked the bathroom light off and walked past Renee and Dean's bed.   
  
He thought he was safe when suddenly Dean raised his head. The short haired man glared at him in the dark. "Jesus fucking Christ Rome, could you keep it down next time? I was dreaming about chicken wings. But you're good time in the bathroom made it go really weird."   
  
Roman tried not to laugh. Thank God the light was off so no one could see his beet red face. "At least tell me you didn't end up fucking the chicken wings."   
  
Dean put his head back down and mumbled something along the lines of "Your fault, asshole."   
  
Renee laughed beside him, her shoulders shaking in mirth.   
  
"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Seth ordered, throwing Roman's pillow at the man. "Some people want to sleep."   
  


* * *

  
_I wasn't going to end up putting 2 scenes here but i couldn't help myself. I had to break up the tension from that very dramatic Raw.  
BTW. Song inspiration for the lemons is Do Not Disturb by Halestorm.  
  
**Love Natsuki Lee**_


	7. Chapter 7

_I never meant for this fanfiction to focus so much on the Shield Boys friendship. But it's gonna be this way. Fuck. My heart is clench in Vince McMahon's fist and Imma let the old man torture me with these Shield feels. (dramatic rant over.) Enjoy_  
**Trigger Warning** Panic Attack.

* * *

  
  
**October 1, 2018**   
  
Renee didn't work the house shows now the she was commentary. So she didn't got to British Colombia yesterday. But she did get to Seattle early. Mostly to be with her husband.   
  
Dean had been all over the place with his mood lately. Some days he was the goofball she loves. Other days he was obviously thinking about his situation with the Shield. Renee had no idea what was going on in his head. He was always hard to read. But it was always worse when he was angry.   
  
And Dean was angry. That much Renee knew.   
  
She sat beside him as they ate breakfast in some cute diner. She looked him over as he ate silently.   
  
"Dean," she said quietly, not entirely sure what she was going to say to him.   
  
He sighed and looked up at her with those stormy blue eyes. "I know, I'm sorry, babe."   
  
Renee smiled at him. "What are you thinking?"   
  
"Alot of stuff." He set his fork down and leaned back his chair, arms falling to his sides. "I keep thinking about how good it felt to be WWE Champion. I miss that feeling."   
  
Renee reached her hand over the booth table and offered it to him.   
  
Seeing her heart tattoo made him smile softly. He put his hand in hers and squeezed gently.   
  
She set her chin in her other hand, completely forgetting her omelette completely. She just studied her husband's pensive features. Finally she gave a sad smile to him and he quirked a brow at her.   
  
"I know you love your brothers. Everyone understands that," Renee mused. "But maybe it would have been better if you had gone to Smackdown instead of Raw. I think you would have been happier."   
  
Dean pursed his lips. "Maybe. But then I'd barely see you."   
  
"Yeah?" Renee smirked. "I would have just requested to go to Smackdown and replace Byron Saxton and we could have been together either way."   
  
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "We can always still do that. Go to smackdown, I mean."   
  
She nodded. "Tell me when and I'll talk to Steph and Hunter."   
  
He was lucky to have her. She was so spunky and energetic, fun of laughter and dry humor. But she was extremely capable of being his best support system.   
  
His free hand went and scrubbed at his face again. "I just can't help this gnawing feeling that Ziggler is right. That Seth and Rome need me, but I don't need them."   
  
It hurt Renee to see Dean like this. Because she knew better than anyone could how much Seth and Roman meant to him. They were their family. But Dean was made to be a champion. And this internal battler of dreams vs family was tearing him apart. And it was a mental anguish that Dean would be able to compare to the physical pain of his near death experience during his 9 months out.   
  
Later on that night, Renee watched nervously as Dean started off Raw. They had driven in together and he had spent the hours before the show with the trainer and with Renee instead of with Roman and Seth.   
  
Charlie stood in the ring to interview Dean and a pang in Renee told her how much she missed doing that, despite her love for commentary.   
  
Dean got straight to it, showing the crowd just how chaotic his mind was during this last week.   
  
Renee frowned as she heard her husband admit that there was some truth to Dolph Ziggler's words. That Seth and Roman were champs and he had nothing.   
  
Dean talked about how Seth had replaced Dean the second he was injured with Jason Jordan. And yeah Renee knew that Dean knew that Seth had had no choice. Dean knew that Seth had hated every second of teaming up with Kurt Angle's bastard child. But it still hurt Dean to turn on Raw after having surgery and seeing his supposed best friend tag champs with some kid.   
  
"Have you thought about leaving the Shield?"   
  
Renee was on the edge of her seat.   
  
He took a second before saying, "Sure. I think about alot of things."   
  
Was this horror Renee was feeling? She knew how Dean was feeling. She saw it in his face. She heard it from his mouth earlier, but to see her husband unravel and remove his dog tags made her sad. Her husband was truly contemplating leaving the Shield. She could feel it in her bones, no matter how much she wanted to deny it.   
  
No matter how much Dean Ambrose denied it.   
  
She listened as Dean spewed this spiteful words that targeted the fans. But it also targetted his brothers backstage. He talked about turning heel. He talked about running Roman off the road. He talked alot of maybes.   
  
"I don't know if you're being sarcastic or not," Charlie commented.   
  
Renee's face tensed. He was and he wasn't. There was a truth to his sarcastic tone.   
  
Charlie brought up how everyone had some questions.   
  
Renee was listening. She was. But Dean was going so fast she was having a hard time processing it all. Because Seth and Roman were her brother too. And if Dean turned his back on them, would she have to turn her back on them too? She had never been in this situation before. She didn't know what Dean would expect of her.   
  
Dean's words were heavy. "Am I gonna abandon them?"   
  
"When am I gonna snap?"   
  
"When is the perfect time when I can slip the knife right in their backs?"   
  
"...Clean up my brother's messes."   
  
"A little bit tired. A little bit over the Shield."   
  
Oh God.   
  
Renee could just feel the anticipation from the crowd. Half of the fans were begging for Dean to stay with his brother. The other half were salivating over his words like he was feeding them the drink of the Gods.   
  
And then Dean said something that left Renee able to calm down a bit.   
  
"Judge me by my actions. I stood by my brothers. My family. The Shield is not a business. Not a brand. We are a brotherhood. We will always ride together in battle."   
  
Dean started to walk out of the ring when Baron Corbin's theme played. Renee rolled her eyes. Here we go. She looked at him and groaned inwardly. Could this dude go home and learn to stop wearing too tight shirts?   
  
Dean and Baron share a few words before Baron says he's going to give Dean three choices.   
  
Dean vs Seth for the Intercontinental Championship.   
  
Dean vs Roman for the Universal Championship.   
  
Or Dean versus Braun.   
  
Renee wanted to punch a wall. Baron was doing this on purpose. He was putting Dean on the spot. Your brothers or the guy who wants you to betray your brothers.   
  
Or better yet. You brothers or your career.   
  
Renee was stress sweating as she watched Dean actually think about it for a few second.   
  
"How about secret option number 4? Me versus you, right now."   
  
Renee sighed. Nice swerve Dean.   
  
But in the end Baron put Dean against Braun Strowman. Baron... the coward.   
  
The match went on. Dean was able to get some good shots in, but Dean in the end was getting his ass kicked.   
  
"The Shield is never gonna help you!" Braun yelled down at Dean. And it made him so mad.   
  
But Braun had his number and Dean could tell he was about to lose this match, but Roman's music started playing.   
  
Dean was a bit relieved. Roman had his back. But then Roman straight out punched Braun and ended the match.   
  
Dean had lost the match via disqualification. And he hated losing matches, but he hated losing by disqualification even more.   
  
At some point Seth had flown out and Drew and Dolph joined them. But Baron popped his ass back up again and gave the others all a match.   
  
Seth held Dean up with a strong arm around his waist, but Dean was ready to throw the Architect off him.   
  
When the commercial break was signaled, Dean went back stage for the doc to check his arm, Seth trailing behind him. Roman stayed behind for his match against Dolph Ziggler.   
  
If Dean had looked back at the big dog he would have seen the pain and worry in Roman.   
  
But he didn't. He didn't look back at Roman.   
  


* * *

  
Roman and Dolph stood in the dark ring as the titantron showed Dean in the Doc's office, holding a bag of ice to his arm.   
  
Roman gripped his belt close to his chest.   
  
He had thought that everything had worked out after last week. But then Dean had ignored his texted all week. And they didn't see eachother at the house show except for their match. Dean had blocked him and Seth out.   
  
Then that interview at the start of the show. It had Roman reeling.   
  
Was Dean with them or against them?   
  
Seth got into frame and in an instant Dean was throwing the bag of ice against the wall. It shattered and scattered everywhere. He obviously wasn't happy that Roman had interfered. But Roman only did it to protect his friend. He didn't want Dean to be hurt again.   
  
Seth tried to talk Dean down, but Dean was beyond calming down.   
  
Dean looked at Seth with these blue eyes that looked void of the goofball they had known and loved.   
  
"You know what's funny? I could have been Intercontinental Champion right now," Dean said before walking away, leaving a stunned Seth Rollins.   
  
And Roman knew Seth heart was breaking, because so was his.   
  
Despite his match starting, Roman was lost in his own thoughts.   
  
He wasn't thinking about defending his title right now. He wasn't thinking about defending his title against Brock Lesnar or Braun Strowman. He wasn't worried about wrestling at all right now. He was only thinking about Dean.   
  
What had he done to Dean?   
  
Did he say something?   
  
Did he do something? Forget something? Imply something?   
  
Roman racked his brain for the billionth time that week for the answer. What answer he wasn't sure. But some kind of answer to help him mend this broken bridge between him and Dean.   
  
Roman had been so lost in thought that he hadn't even registered that Baron Corbin had made this a non-title match. It made no difference to Roman.   
  
Roman would defend his title against anyone.   
  
The crowd was loud as hell as they watched him and Ziggler go at it. He wondered for a brief second if he was even wrestling correctly. If he was conscious of his movements even though he was unconsciously doing them.   
  
He won the match.   
  
But as his music played his mind fell into deep thought. He stood on the turnbuckle and blew a kiss at a fan in the crowd, smiling and winking. But he wasn’t focusing. Couldn't say he was a bad actor.   
  
The more his thoughts circled in his mind, the more he felt breathless. His world kept crashing down. The man he loved rejected him. The best friend he has ever had was deserting him. The fans hated him. He was struggling. He was drowning.   
  
Roman was spiraling. He felt like he was ready to lose it. He was to seconds from becoming reckless.   
  
Roman needed air.   
  
He was too busy in his thoughts.   
  
He needed to get out of the ring. His heart was pounding.   
  
He needed to breathe. He needed to get out of this. He felt a panic attack edging close as he walked backstage. He tried his best smile at the brass, hiding his shaking hands by gripping his title.   
  
He rushed to the bathroom the second he found a chance. And despite it being a bathroom with 12 stalls, he locked the door behind him and he sat on the cold tile floor.   
  
His breathing was ragged. His eyes wouldn’t focus. And his mind was blank except for the dense feeling of crushing insecurities. He was normally such a confident person. He was normally such a happy person. He normally would smile and cheer and laugh. But this last month and a half he had found himself trying to hold onto his normal self. But this was all too much. This was all getting to him.   
  
This pressure.   
  
He felt all his insecurities drag him down. He was no longer a locker room leader or a friend. He was target for all to shoot at. No one liked him. Not the crowd. Not John Cena. Hell maybe not even Dean Ambrose. To everyone who watched him on a weekly basis, Roman Reigns was just some guy that could be used as a stepping stone to the gold.   
  
Roman put his head between his knees and tried to focus on his breathing. His fingers let go of the title and it clattered to the ground. And he threaded them through his hair, ready to pull it all out. He tried to anchor himself to something visible. So he looked around the bathroom and counted objects the he could see.   
  
Finally, he got his breathing under control. But he was still shaking.   
  
He sat a few minutes trying to regain his composure. Then he stood. Looked in the mirror. Ran a hand down his face, licked his dry lips. Took a deep breath. Tied his hair up with a tie he had in his pocket and then went back to the outside world where he pretended he was okay.   
  


* * *

  
Roman found Dean in one of the hallways off to the side where it was quiet.   
  
But Roman was frozen. Roman had put up a wall around his emotions. He couldn't take the damage any longer. So he confronted Dean tensely.   
  
He couldn't even act like he was friendly with Dean at the moment and called him Ambrose instead.   
  
"Are we alright?"   
  
"Yeah, we're alright."   
  
Lying sack of shit.   
  
Roman had known Dean long enough to know a blatant lie.   
  
"You could have gotten hurt," Roman said. He couldn't have Dean hurt again. He needed Dean by his side. "What would we do at Super Showdown without you?"   
  
Dean glared at Roman. His blue eyes were icy and intense. They chilled Roman's already hurting heart.   
  
"If I wasn't such a nice guy, I might be Universal Champion right now."   
  
Those words cut Roman open and he felt his panic coming back.   
  
He was losing Dean over a fucking championship title. God, and here he thought he had nothing in common with Charlotte Flair.   
  
Of course, that fucking championship title was important to Roman. He had worked so hard to get it. He had fought tooth and nail to have that strap handed to him and the title attached to his name.   
  
But would he give it all up for Dean? His best friend. His brother. His family.   
  
Roman looked down, eyes clouding. He was lost and confused.   
  
The second the cameras were off he covered his face with his hands hiding it from anyone passing by. He was exhausted. He needed to find a bed. He needed to sleep for days. He didn't want to face the world anymore.   
  
But he was a fighter. And Roman would keep fighting on.   
  
A familiar hand was on his shoulder and he dropped his hands to see Seth before him, a deep frown on his face.   
  
Seth's hand squeezed his shoulder. The man looked at him dead in the eyes and told him calmly. "Breathe, Ro. You look pale."   
  
Roman nodded.   
  
Seth watched as Roman took some deep breathes and steadied out his heart rate. Seth let Roman's shoulder go. "Ro, are you okay?."   
  
Roman leaned back against the nearby wall and closed his eyes. "I had a panic attack earlier."   
  
Seth gave him a worried look. "I should bring you to the doc. Roman, that's not okay. Why wouldn't you go check yourself out with the doctors?"   
  
He shook his head. "I'm fine, now. Everything will be okay." Roman was more talking to himself then Seth.   
  
Seth knew he shouldn't listen to Roman, but lately Seth wasn't sure he should push his friends anymore. It obviously wasn't going well. "You need to come with me then. I'm not letting you wander off alone."   
  
He put a hand on Roman's bare arm and led the man to the Gorilla Position. Seth's match was next, but at least there were plenty of People around to keep an eye on Roman while he was in the ring.   
  
Roman sat in a chair next to the brass. He was focusing on his breathing as Seth's match started. He tried to self-talk. Make himself feel better. He had had panic attacks once or twice before while in college. Nothing as bad as this time though. He had felt so helpless and dejected. But as he talked himself up he realized that He didn't need Dean to be successful. If Dean was unhappy, Roman would let him go. If John didn't love him he would learn to let him go. And if Roman was ever unsure of himself again, he would remember he was the fucking Universal Champion and a child of one of the greatest wrestling families.   
  
He was calm now. He was able to think about Dean now without panicking. He was going to be alright. This would all straighten out in the end.   
  
Roman watched as Dolph Ziggler zipped by him, cued his music and ran out. He successfully distracted Seth.   
  
Seth lost.   
  
Roman stood and ran out to help his brother as he was getting kicked around by both Drew and Dolph.   
  
Then Braun came out. But right when the Monster among Men reached the ring, Dean's music played. Roman felt a weight leave him. Dean was still with them.   
  
But Braun had Dean down in no time at all. Didn't matter about the axe handle Dean had with him. Seth tried to save the day but got put down too. Dean was up again but Braun and his dogs ganged up on him. Roman could get up. His chest and head hurt from earlier. He was still shakey. So he stayed down, even when Braun hit him with his finisher.   
  
The Shield was down. Roman was down.   
  
Roman's blurry eyes watched as the three men standing above them tried to mock them. Then they left the Shield in the ring.   
  


* * *

  
Backstage, Roman went directly to the locker room, grabbing the Universal Championship strap from one of the roadies. He didn't care to watch any other match. He didn't care that HBK was around. He didn't care that Kevin Owens and Elias were talking about the man he loved, John Cena. He just wanted to go sit down in a quiet place.   
  
He almost locked the door behind him, but he knew Seth would kick the door down if he did.   
  
He had a few minutes alone, enjoying the silence.   
  
After it all, Roman was no longer panicking, but he still felt anxious. Which was normal after having an attack.   
  
He slumped on the bench in front of his locker and put his head in his hands, damp hair falling around him like a veil.   
  
Then the door banged open and Seth shoved Dean into the room.   
  
Dean tried to turn around and walk away but Seth closed the door, locked it and stood guarding it.   
  
Roman didn't even look up to see what was happening. He just breathed.   
  
"Let me out. I need space, Seth," Dean said in his deep tone.   
  
"You've had enough space," Seth said back, tone annoyed but strong. He wasn't going to let this all slide.   
  
"What? You're going to try to convince me that I'm over-exaggerating? That I don't have a right to be upset after I lost my match tonight?" Dean growled.   
  
Seth huffed. "No. I won't try to convince you of anything. But we need to be in here together and talk about all of this, without the cameras or the fans." His voice was getting louder, almost yelling by the end.   
  
Roman ducked his head down further, trying to block out the stress.   
  
"I already said what I had to say," Dean barked. "I'm still with you guys, aren't I? Still came to get my ass kicked cleaning up your mess. I don't turn my back on family." Dean said, spitefully. "Everything is all right."   
  
Seth pushed Dean back and snarled. "Will you fucking look at him and tell me everything is alright!?"   
  
Dean backed up, took a deep breath to calm his rising anger, and looked behind him at the huddled mass that was his best friend.   
  
Seth sighed. "You keep thinking about yourself, but you forgot to check up on your own best friend. I think you forgot what it was like to be a the big champ on the show. He's got Braun Strowman and Brock Lesnar coming after him and now you too? You just think it's fine to say shit like you did earlier?"   
  
Dean quietly stared at Roman.   
  
"We know you could have taken either of our titles. Fuck, Dean you could have taken both tonight if you wanted," Seth continued. "But have some consideration, man. We all have alot on our plates. ... He had a fucking panic attack earlier and we weren't around to help."   
  
Dean looked at Seth with wide eyes. When Seth just looked back at him, brown eyes serious, the Lunatic Fringe sat next to Roman put an arm around him without hesitating. He was going to say something to Roman when the Samoan man shrugged Dean's arm away.   
  
Roman lifted his head and his brown eyes, filled with emotion, to the man next to him. He was still feeling anxiety and listening to Seth argue to Dean like that spiked it up a little.   
  
"I called you," Roman said, voice low. "I called and texted you all week. All I got back was the bare minimum. You are my boy. I wanted to talk to you about all of this. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I wanted to fucking tell you that you're my brother and I love you no matter what you end doing. That I see your worth."   
  
He stood up and crossed the room. "But you won't talk to me. You won't talk to us," he pointed between him and and Seth. "How do we fix a problem if you won't help us figure out the solution?"   
  
Dean stood now, arms open wide as he talked. "Fix what, Ro?" He spat. "You guys were so happy to have me back but I'm just here to help out. I'm not here for myself."   
  
Roman's expression went angry and his face twisted.   
  
“If you didn't want to be with us again you should have fuckng told us. I would have been okay. I would have been happy for you no matter what. I would have loved to seen you as a champ. God damn, Dean. Fuck, man. You want out -then go. Go to Smackdown. I'm not holding you back! Or if you want my title, fucking take it!”   
  
Roman grabbed the belt that had been slung on the bench and threw it across the room, hard.   
  
He was breathing hard, eyes closed, unable to look around him. Not at Dean's shock. Not at Seth's concern. Not at the belt that had slammed against the wall before laying face down on the floor.   
  
He felt his legs weaken and he sat down right where he had stood, in the middle of the locker room. He started to unbuckle his ring gear. It felt like it was constricting him. When the vest was off and discarded to the side, he sighed.   
  
He heard shuffling and footsteps. Then a hand on his shoulder. Dean.   
  
He opened his eyes and looked at Dean crouch before him, the championship in his hand. Dean held it out to him, lips in a pouty frown, eyes downcast. Roman took the belt and put it on his lap.   
  
"I don't want to take you're title. I don't want to take Seth's," Dean muttered, scratching the back of his head. "I just don't want to take a back seat to you guys. I am more than an enforcer. I am equal."   
  
Roman stood, took his championship in hand, letting it drag just a bit. "Well, whatever you decide... I understand."   
  
With that, Roman walked away and went to the door. Seth moved out of his way and followed the big dog out as he left the locker room, in silence.   
  


* * *

  
Finn had just come backstage after he escorted Bayley in her match. It had been so much fun. He had been a goof ball out there, but he was able to do that with Bayley. Her smiling confidence did that to people.   
  
They walked together, getting bottles of water from the refreshment table beside the Gorilla entrance. He hadn't wrestled but those lights in the ring make a person thirsty, so he took a large gulp.   
  
He looked around as they talked about Mixed Match Challenge strategies. Bayley walked in step beside him, grin on her face. "We should wear eachother's jackets tomorrow night."   
  
Finn chuckled "What not the whole outfit switch?"   
  
"Not yet," She winked. "I mean unless your secret lover is into you wearing women's ring gear. If that's the case I can help you out."   
  
He couldn't help the burst of laughter. "I'm not sure. So we can hold off on those plans to make me a lovely Irish lass."   
  
Bayley patted him on the back, face in faux support. "Finny, I love you. But I do not enough talent to make you a lovely Irish lass."   
  
He pushed her shoulder lightly, sticking out his tongue. "Fuck off. I'd make a beautiful bearded drag queen." He grinned, brightly.   
  
She slung her arm around Finn, laughing as they kept walking the long winding corridors of the area, heading towards the locker rooms.   
  
Finn hadn't told her who his secret lover was. He wasn't sure Roman was okay with people knowing that they fooled around once. Not everyone needed to know Roman Reigns liked guys. In fact, Finn wasn't even sure what sexuality Roman identified as. Everyone knew Roman had a daughter and had been with women before. But how many gay men in the history of life have been with women? Alot. So it was best not out the man.   
  
So Finn kept his mouth shut. The only ones who knew were Gallows and Anderson. And that's because they heard Roman's voice when he answered his call the other night. Boy, did his good brothers not let him hear the end of that. They ribbed him all night. Stuff like Finn screwing his way to the top. Or how Finn was secretly trying to become part of the Shield. And his all time favorite asshole joke was of course, "Well is he really the _big dog_?" asked at all hours of the day.   
  
"My entrance of yours?" Finn asked.   
  
"Yours?" She replied, tapping her chin in thought. "We did mine together tonight. It's only fair."   
  
They rounded the corner that lead to catering. Finn's face must have lit up when he saw Roman walk towards his direction, because Bayley's eyes sparkled too. She could read it on his face. Roman Reigns and Finn Balor... fucking. Oh god, she had to tell Sasha. She would die.   
  
Finn raised his hand to wave and a grin spread on his face like a ray of sunshine.   
  
But Finn's grin fell when Roman just stormed past him, not even sparing a glance, the Universal championship gripped in his hand, dragged bitterly on the floor. Roman didn't even acknowledge his presence.   
  
Finn's heart ached.   
  
He had loved Roman for so long. So when they had those moments of lust these past several weeks, Finn thought, well, he had a chance. Finn didn't want to admit it, but he knew that Roman only used him as a booty call. He knew. Roman didn't like him for anything other than a good fuck.   
  
This was the proof.   
  
Roman didn't even care enough to look at him.   
  
Or maybe Finn was reading too much into this? Obviously, Roman was having a really bad night. It was clearly written on the Samoan's face.   
  
Finn's hand dropped slowly, dejected.   
  
Seth followed Roman, just a few steps behind. He too looked like he was having the worst night. And with no Dean in sight, Finn (and Bayley) could only assume it was about the Lunatic Fringe.   
  
Finn looked at Roman's retreating back. He wanted to comfort the man so badly. He even unconsciously took a step forward, like he was about to follow the big dog.   
  
But Seth gave him a look. It wasn't quite a warning. Just a look, donned by big stormy brown eyes. "Not a good idea, man. Give him a little space tonight."   
  
If Finn's heart wasn't hurting already, it sure as hell was now.   
  
He watched as the two Shield brothers walked away until they were out of sight.   
  
Finn looked at Bayley, registering the concern in her eyes, and gave his best smile, shrugging a little. It wouldn't reasure her at all, but it was the best he could manage at that moment.   
  
Bayley slung her arm around Finn again and she led him to the locker rooms in silence. When they stopped outside the women's locker room she looked at him and smiled. She knew she had to make Finn feel better. So she hugged him, as tight as she could.   
  
He relaxed in his friend's embrace. "Thanks."   
  
A sympathetic look flashed on her face. "Like Seth said, he just needs a little space tonight. Obviously all this stuff with Dean is making him upset."   
  
He nodded. He understood. She was right. He would text Roman tomorrow morning. He'd check on him then. Finn couldn't be too clingy.   
  


* * *

  
John had decided to watch Raw late Tuesday evening. Since it was over 12 hours difference for China and America, he would usually be able to watch Raw in the early afternoon. But he had been busy fliming this morning and wasn't able to relax until about dinner time.   
  
John must have been very sex deprived though because the second he started watching Roman wrestle Dolph Ziggler, his hand was massaging against his jean clad crotch.   
  
And honestly, it really was the lack of sex. John hadn't had any in a while. And no one was offering. No one wanted to have sex with him. Well, except for the crazy fans. But he would not go there. Some fans were a bit too crazy for anything remotely close to a one night stand.   
  
Roman was the only one to show interest in him in recent weeks. And John Cena found attraction very attractive.   
  
Roman was nice looking too, so that helped.   
  
See John was odd. He didn't consider himself bisexual or pan or whatever. He was straight. But those lonely nights on the road when he was a young, up and coming WWE superstar gave passage to a little exploration. Like a college girl experimenting with her roomate or something. Didn't mean you were homosexual, but it sure did feel good.   
  
And John needed to feel good. His fist was just not cutting it.   
  
The intense faces Roman made during the matches were intriguing. They created this animalistic characteristic in Roman. Like a lion on the hunt. It was bordering the line between dangerous and sexual.   
  
John left out a groan as his hand put more pressure on his clothed arousal.   
  
Roman liked sticking his tongue out. So naughty.   
  
John bet that tongue could do so many good things.   
  
The match was half way done, but John was just getting started. He popped open his jeans and dug out his had cock. He started pumping, spitting on his fist for lack of better lubricant.   
  
His eyes found Roman's curvy ass on the screen. It was hiding under those thick shapeless cargo pants. But when the Samoan bent in just the right way... . Well, it gave John Cena's imagination all it needed.   
  
He could picture having Roman on hands and knees, ass arched high, open and waiting, his long hair shifting with every thrust.   
  
In no time at all, John could feel his body tensing. His hand was jerking quickly, his wrist flicking, grip tugging. He straighten out his thumb so it would brush the underside against the thick vein. And when he would upstroke, the thumb would rub over the cleft to the head, smearing the precum it would find there.   
  
He was panting, silent moans of pleasure.   
  
And when Roman blew the kiss to the crowd and winked, John came with great force. The hot strings of white cum shot out and landed on his chest and his jeans. Really, John wouldn't be surprised if some drops landed on the couch around him. And John saw spots because of the force his ejaculation had taken.   
  
He gave a couple more pumps of his pulsing erection, riding out the high. His hand slumped to the side and his head tossed back, eyes closed, once he was able to breathe again.   
  
He had no idea hat was happening on tv anymore. He was too busy feeling the lingering orgasm flow through his blood stream.   
  
Man he needed to get laid.   
  
He opened his eyes and lazily watched the rest of the show.He saw the emotion in Roman's eyes when Dean made his weightless threat. And he laughed at Kevin Owens and Elias cracking on him over the heated Seattle crowd. Hey, he loved people trying to insult him. They always said the same shit, but at least these two were entertaining.   
  
But something bothered him.   
  
The way that Roman had looked when he confronted Dean. Like a lost puppy. No. No lost. Like a kicked puppy.   
  
And John knew that wasn't the normal Roman demeanor.   
  
It worried him.   
  
John knew what it was like as champion.   
  
He knew what it was like to have friends turn on him.   
  
In fact, John had been on top for so long, that keeping friends was near impossible. They either went after him or they were future endevoured. He was always alone at the top.   
  
Losing friends over the championship was hard. It ripped a person in half. One side of you desired the companionship of others. But the other side of you knows how hard you worked for that strap.   
  
Despite Roman not speaking to him much these days, John decided to call the man. He needed to check on him. On his younger protege.   
  
Of course, John mused, he should probably go clean up first. He looked at his dried cum covered hand with unabashed bog blue eyes.   
  


* * *

  
Roman was taking a taxi home from the airport when his phone started ringing. It was Early morning Tuesday and he a day and a half at home before he had to ship off to Australia. And after all of the shit he's been dealing with he honestly did not want to deal with who ever was calling him.   
  
He had half a mind to let it go to voicemail without even giving a crap about who it was.   
  
But with a sigh, he dug the phone out of his sweatpants pocket.   
  
His eyebrows arched up in surprise.   
  
_John_   
  
At 5 in the morning?   
  
He answered. Curious. And heart beating fast.   
  
"Hello?"   
  
"Hey. Did I wake you?"   
  
Roman couldn't help the smile hearing John's voice. "No I took the red eye home."   
  
John hummed in response. "Are you okay? I know it's not easy right now."   
  
Roman closed his eyes listening to John's light breathing. His smile faltered a little at the question but his heart filled with joy. He still loved this man dearly. And John Cena caring enough about him to call made Roman so happy.   
  
"I feel like I can't breathe," Roman said. No point sugar coating things to John. The man had done it all and had advice for every situation. Hopefully his sage knowledge could help Roman with this Shield betrayal, Braun Strowman, Brock Lesnar mess.   
  
"Yeah," John sighed. "That's understandable. Have you been sleeping well, at least?"   
  
"Not really."   
  
"You got to sleep man. I know you have 700 things on your mind, but if you don't sleep you'll put your body at risk. You're schedule is crazy enough already."   
  
Roman chuckled softly. "Thanks mom, I know."   
  
John huffed a laugh. "When you sleep it's easier to control the world around you. It helps clear your mind."   
  
"I'll try." Roman said. But he knew that would be extremely hard to manage.   
  
"You remember what I said right?"   
  
"You've said alot of things, John."   
  
"I'm talking about the time I told you that being a champion is like putting a target on your back."   
  
Roman sighed then murmered a yes.   
  
John clear his throat. "You know now how true that is. It's such a strong pressure that even the people you trust can challenge you at any moment. But the only thing you can do is just accept it."   
  
Roman stayed silent, not sure what John meant. Maybe he was just too tired to get it right now.   
  
"You understand how valuable the championships are. So you need to understand and accept your friends and your enemies for whatever they throw at you."   
  
Roman scrubbed a hand down his face, keeping his eyes shut. "So even if Dean or Seth take my championship, I just need to accept it and move on?"   
  
"Not move on. Keep fighting, by all means. But try to understand why they did what they did."   
  
"And if I can't do that?"   
  
"Then you will lose your mind trying to always figure out what people will do to you."   
  
Roman sighed. He whispered an okay. He wasn't sure he could understand inflicting pain on the people closest to him, so he wasn't sure he could understand Seth or Dean breaking thier trust when he needed them the most. But he could try.   
  
"Anymore advice?"   
  
"Don't eat yellow snow?"   
  
Roman laughed. "What else?"   
  
"...Don't pee in the wind?"   
  
"Something I don't know already, John."   
  
"Fine. Hang out with me in Australia."   
  
Roman frowned. "That's advice?"   
  
"Yeah. Because if you don't do it, I'll find you and make you hang out with me regardless."   
  
Roman chuckled. "Don't threaten me with a good time," he growled.   
  
He heard John's breath hitch.   
  
Roman sighed. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."   
  
John was quiet for a while, before saying "Don't say you're sorry. Life is very boring when you apologize about every joke."   
  
It wasn't a joke to Roman. But he said nothing. "Okay. I'll see if I can manage a little time for you after the show."   
  
"Can't wait."

* * *

  
  
_This took longer to write then I wanted it too.  
Will update soon. Next chapter more John for you team John fans.   
  
**Love Natsuki Lee/**_


	8. Chapter 8

**October 6, 2018 Melbourne, Australia**   
  
The second he got to Melbourne, Roman had stuff to do. Entrance practice, photos, set up.   
  
Never a spare moment to think. But he was thinking regardless.   
  
About Dean. About John. About Braun. About Brock. About family. About life.   
  
Dean had texted Roman Tuesday. Nothing but a simple "You're my brother, Ro."   
  
It did nothing to reassure Roman, honestly. But he knew Dean. And looking past his panic attack clouded memories of Monday, Roman realized he had probably over reacted. Dean wouldn't betray Roman or Seth. Dean wasn't the kind.   
  
But then there was the matter of maybe meeting John Cena after the show. He knew nothing was going to happen. But boy, was he damn nervous. His heart was already pounding.   
  
The show got underway. Backstage was busy with everyone fussing around. But it was a bit less crowded then usual with half of the roster back in the states. Only the wrestlers in the matches and a few alternates were around.   
  
Roman slipped the mask on when it was time for their entrance. He looked at Dean and Seth as they did the same. When they were ready and Braun Strowman's music was playing, Roman stuck his fist out. The other two men bumped his fist one at a time.   
  
"Let's go out there and kick some ass!" Roman growled.   
  
"Yeah, baby!" Seth grinned behind the mask.   
  
Dean silently nodded, fixing his hood over his head, the mask slipping down a little.   
  
They were escorted through the crowd by their security and waited for the music to start. The walk down to meet eachother was long. Alot of grabby hands. Patting his arms, his back, his ass. Some tried to touch the championship, but he held onto it tightly.   
  
Eventually they entered the ring area from the crowd, fans taking pictures and cheering from all around. Seth led the way as they circled the ring, surrounding Braun and his mangy dogs.   
  
Roman glared at Braun as he took off his mask. He channeled all of his rage and his stress from Monday. It ran through him like electricity. It buzzed in his ears with the white noise of the crowd.   
  
The match went on as expected. Alot of back and forth. Seth took most of the battle. It got to the point that Seth even screamed for Dean to come to his rescue.   
  
Finally, Roman was in the ring and he was able to get some good hits in. He pumped his fist ready to Superman Punch Drew Mcintyre. But Drew had dodged and Roman struck the man standing behind the Scot.   
  
Roman felt a sinking feeling drop in his stomach like a boulder when he saw that he had hit Dean. He couldn't believe it. Shit. If Dean hadn't thought about leaving Roman in the ring to suffer alone before, he was sure as hell thinking that now. He was scared. He was worried. Was Dean okay?   
  
Before he knew it, Roman and Seth had found themselves surrounded. It was the literal representation of the tables having been turned. Roman heard the crowd get louder and he looked behind him to find Dean on the other side of the ropes.   
  
Roman looked at Dean with wide pleading eyes. But Dean was looking around at the other men surrounding the ring. And then Dean said okay and bent into the ring. This was it. Dean was finally going to turn on the Shield and it was Roman's fault since he fucking punched him square in the bearded jaw.   
  
He prepared himself to being attacked by Drew and Dean, but a body zoomed past him and struck Braun. A large sigh left his lips. Thank God. He had truly thought that Dean had gone dark side on them.   
  
It all became a blur at some point. He found himself on the ring side, in pain from getting his ass beat by one of their opponents.   
  
He looked up and saw Dean staggering on his feet. He looked just as bad as Roman felt. Roman started to stand. From the corner of his eyes he saw Braun running towards Dean like a freight train.   
  
No. Not his brother. Fuck no.   
  
Roman charged forward and took Braun down like he was back playing football. They collided with the barricade. It fell back onto Roman's arm as he laid there in pain. Fuck. This hurt. Roman withered around the ground, hoping Dean was okay.   
  
A minute must have passed where Roman was blurry eyed and groaning in pain, clutching his arm, his side, whatever was hurting. Then their music played.   
  
His sigh of relief mingled with a gruff groan. He felt someone pull him up and looked weakly at Dean.   
  
His brother.   
  
Dean and Seth walked with him around the ring where they stopped. Seth held both titles as Roman favored his side. They both leaned into the ring, both sure they were going to feel these aches and bruises for a while. Dean grabbed Seth's head and hugged it, pressing a kiss to the sweaty dark hair. Seth laughed a little before huffing in hurt.   
  
They won. His boys and him. Dean had stood with them. And it was a weight that lifted off of Roman's aching shoulders. Fuck Braun and his lackies. The Shield won.   
  
They had said it before and they will say it again. They never had a problem with eachother despite being 3 alpha males. It wasn't going to start now.   
  
If Roman wasn't contemplating if he was internally bleeding, he would grab Dean and Seth in his arms and hold tight. Instead he just put his fist forward and hoped to God there was an ice bath backstage with his name on it.   
  


* * *

  
John had texted his room number to Roman. They could have met at the hotel bar, but there were fans lingering everywhere. Roman was still hurting from the match and having very intrusive fans asking all types of questions and pleading for autographs would damper the mood.   
  
John wasn't entirely sure what mood he was going for though.   
  
He invited Roman to hang out because he knew the big dog needed it. But to be honest he also wanted to see him. Roman had been a lingering thought in his mind since that Tuesday in Brooklyn. The kiss.   
  
It was odd honestly. John had never thought this much about any guy. He wasn't sure if it was because of how it all happened. John had never had a man confess to him like that. Especially not a younger man who he helped backstage.   
  
But lo and behold, here was Cena in his suite hotel room, waiting for Roman Reigns to knock on his door.   
  
_Just for a friendly visit._ John told himself. _To talk about the struggles of being a champion._   
  
A knock and John stood from the couch. He crossed the dark hardwood floors to the door. He took a deep breath. Why? Why was this making him nervous? This was just Roman. They had done this before.   
  
He opened the door with his famous John Cena grin. Roman smiled back at him.   
  
John stood to the side and motioned for the younger man to enter. He took a second to look Roman over.   
  
Roman's hair was tied tight in a bun, recently showered. His broad shoulders were in a loose t-shirt. He wore these grey sweat pants that hung low on his hips. And to finish off his casual outfit, a pair of slide on Addidas sandals and socks. In his hand he had a grocery bag of snack foods. He was obviosuly still hurting from the match earlier, limping a little.   
  
"Brought us some junk food," Roman said. He smirked back over his shoulder to John, who was shutting the door. "I know we're supposed to look super ripped and healthy, but you can just add a few more burpees to your routine tomorrow."   
  
John laughed. "Try adding an entire workout tomorrow, because I got us a bottle of Hennessy and a bottle of Jack."   
  
Roman's eyebrows arched. "Oh so you want us to get fucked up."   
  
John went to the kitchette and grabbed the two bottles and some beers, two glasses in the other hand. "I think we both need it."   
  
With a loud dramatic sigh, Roman collapsed onto the white leather couch. He slouched down, arms and legs stretched out comfortably, taking up most of the couch. "What do you mean? Life is so easy right now," He said, sarcastically. He looked around, tired.   
  
The suite was huge, like Brooklyn. But it was modern as opposed to the industrial feel the room from after SummerSlam had. Roman could fit two or three of his and Seth's rooms in here. The large flat screen on the wall was on some world news channel, the sound almost muted.   
  
John sat on the love seat adjacent to Roman and opened two beers, handing one off. "Oh yeah, I can see that. You're just relaxing out there lately. No care in the world."   
  
A long swig of cold beer made Roman smack his lips and loosen up. "It's been fucking hell."   
  
John nodded. He took a drink from his bottle, settling back against the couch. He left the hand holding the beer in his lap and the other arm slung over the back of the couch. He propped one sock clothed foot on the coffee table, letting his eyes land on Roman.   
  
Roman grabbed the grocery bag and dumped it out on the table around the bottle of liquor and beer. He crumpled the white bag and tossed it lightly to the side before grabbing a bag of chips. "I mean, I knew being champ wasn't easy. I've been World Champ 3 times before. But this feels so much worse. The brass just keeps shoving Braun and Bock at me. I'm sick of them," he said, opening the back and grabbing a handful.   
  
"Well, I'm not sure how pleasent Braun is, but I know from experience that Lesner sucks the life out of his opponents. I can understand wanting to move on."   
  
A dry chuckle escaped Roman's pouty lips before taking another sip of beer. "Sould sucking. I'll have to use that one day."   
  
John hummed. "Stealing my stuff, are we now?"   
  
Roman smirked. "You're not around to use it, so someone has to."   
  
"Ahh," John nodded grabbing a package of cookies, knowing he'll regret it in the morning. "So you really do want to be me."   
  
Roman choked on the chips in his mouth and started laughing.   
  
"I'd hate to tell you, kid. There can only be one John Cena. Doesn't matter how much of the crowd boos you."   
  
Roman shook his head, a smile gracing his face. "Well, I'd hate to tell you this, but no one wants to be you now John Cena Bradshaw Layfield."   
  
A broad grin followed by a middle finger. "I look damn good as JBL, thank you."   
  
"You look like you're cosplaying him for Halloween. I'd almost say this was supposed to be your revenge body. But man, this isn't revenge. This is just weird."   
  
John arched his brows in faux surprise. "You mean asking JBL for grooming tips wasn't the best idea?" He drained the rest of his bottle of beer. He leaned forward and opened another, but left it sitting on the glass table top. "So... How's it going on the Shield front? You guys work it out with Ambrose?"   
  
Roman groaned. "I think." He grabbed the bottle of Jack and opened it. "I'm going to need this."   
  
John slid his glass over to Roman and let the younger man poor him some of the amber colored liquid. They drank the whiskey slowly and in silence. John waited for Roman to talk. He knew Roman needed to get this out to someone who wasn't directly involved in the mess.   
  
Roman closed his eyes feeling the gentle burn of Jack slide down his throat. He leaned his head back and thought about the last few weeks. "It's been a fucking shit show. Dolph always knew how to talk sweet, but I never thought he'd go after one of us. But it really got to Dean. It looked like he really thought about it all. But when we talked to him after the shows, he'd be normal Dean.   
  
"Me and Seth had no clue what he was really thinking," Roman continued. He stretched his body out a bit more, making the tshirt ride up just enough to see a strip of skin. "But it's like he said, we should judge him by his actions."   
  
"Dean's obviously proved to you that he's you're brother," John said, looking Roman over slowly. "So what's making you second guess him?"   
  
Roman slowly opened his eyes and drank from his glass. Was it that obvious that he was still worried about his brothers betraying him. "I don't know. Maybe it's just an unconscious reaction after Seth? Honestly, I don't want to think that it'll happen again, but I just keep remembering being on cloud nine in 2014 with my boys by my side, and then getting a folded chair to the back."   
  
John nodded. "You're afraid it'll happen again."   
  
"Like I can't have nice things and friends at the same time," Roman admitted.   
  
John cleared his throat and leaned forward, placing the empty glass on the table next to his open beer bottle. He put his elbows on his knees and looked directly at Roman. The Samoan looked back at him, but kept his body spread out the way it was. "Don't lose hope in your friends. Good friends in this business are hard to come by and it is damn lonely at the top."   
  
Roman gave him a small smile. It made John smile in return. It was a knowing exchange. One that reassured Roman that John had spent many years at the top alone. And it told John that Roman wouldn't survive without someone to talk to.   
  
They were quiet for a few minutes, watching the TV but not really paying attention. John grabbed the bottle of Jack and poured more into his glass before standing and pouring some into Roman's.   
  
Roman looked at him and licked his lips. He had a pretty good tolerance, but it had been a while since he had gotten shit faced. And Roman wasn't sure if he should let his walls down around John. He'd probably do something he regretted.   
  
But at the same time he just wanted to relax and he could do that with John. He could manage to be both relaxed around John and worried about his every move. The older man did that to him.   
  
John grabbed a bag of chips from the table after putting the bottle down. He sat back on the love seat, kicking his legs up and laying back against the armrest.   
  
Roman slipped off his sandals while taking a big gulp of whiskey. He followed it with a sip of beer. Then he laid on his side, eyes flickering from the tv to John. "So what was that speech about earlier?"   
  
John looked at him from over his shoulder, hand full of greasy chips. His blue eyes were questioning before he realized what Roman was asking. "Oh. That." He ate the hand full of chips, chewing thoroughly. Roman waited, rolling his eyes at John's stalling. "I don't know, really," John finally said. "It felt like the thing to do. I have fans ask me all the time if I'm coming back soon. I guess I wanted to tell them that I'm not your cousin and that I'll be back eventually."   
  
Roman rolled his eyes at the mention of Dwayne. "It sounded almost like a retirement announcement."   
  
A slow grin spread on his face. "Oh no. You'll never get one of those from me," John said. "They'll have to drag my old decaying body from the ring before I decide to retire."   
  
Roman laughed, picturing an old man Cena, walker and all, shuffling his feet down the ramp to his theme song. He laughed harder when John started laughing.   
  
"Don't laugh. I'll be the male Mae Young," John said. "Taking table crashes at 80."   
  
Roman wiped the tears from his eyes, still rumbling with laughter. Maybe it was just being relaxed around John. Maybe it was the Jack and beer.   
  
"I hope I'll be around to see that," Roman said.   
  
John rolled his eyes at him. "Of course you'll be around for that. You'll be valeting your daughter to the ring like Ric Flair."   
  
Roman shook his head, grinning happily. That was a good thought. It made him truly happy to think about the future like this.   
  
They sat and ate and drank for a few hours. They completely disregarded the late time and the fact that Roman had a 19 hour flight tomorrow morning. It was comfortable. And the more Roman drank, the more he felt loose and calm.   
  
At some point, Roman had laid completely back, one leg over the back of the couch, an arm behind his head. His free hand holding his 3rd beer, half empty and warm. He watched with glazed eyes as John stood and stretched.   
  
John put his hand on his lower back and arched it forward trying to stretch the stiffness out. Roman watched with unabashed interest. He was obviously drunk and drunk Roman didn't care to be candid.   
  
"I need a massage. These couches are horrible," John muttered.   
  
Roman smirked. The smirk looked lecherous to John. It made John realize very quickly how he shouldn't have opened that door. He almost forgot that Roman liked him. And casually mentioning a massage to a man who wants to fuck you is a bit risky.   
  
Roman sat up. He reached a hand onto John's back, not actually in control of his movements. "Shouldn't you have a masseuse on call?" his words were slurred.   
  
John knew he should back out of Roman's touch. He knew he shouldn't be intrigued by the look in Roman's blurry eyes. He knew he shouldn't want Roman's hand to roam over his body. He knew he shouldn't want Roman to massage his entire body. Preferably followed by a happy ending.   
  
Roman leaned forward some more and splayed his fingers out on the curve of John's back, massaging his fingers lightly into the hard muscles. "You know, I bet you have a lot of built up tension from being over in China. Haven't had a good fuck in a while, I bet."   
  
Well, Roman wasn't wrong. But John looked down at him, face stoic. Roman's fingers played with the hem of his tshirt a little before moving under the fabric. The long fingers pressed into his hot taunt skin, slowly relaxing the tension.   
  
"And I got a tight fat ass you can take to release all that tension you're holding here."   
  
John's eyes went wide. Drunk Roman was very brazen. And as tempting as Roman was being right now, John shook away the fogginess in his mind. This wasn't what Roman would want. Plus, John wasn't into taking advantage of someone so drunk.   
  
John backed up, making Roman drop his hand. He gave the younger man a sad smile, small and tight. "No. Roman. You have feelings for me and I don't think a casual fuck is what you're looking for."   
  
Roman licked his bottom lip. "You might be right. But I can handle it."   
  
"Rome, stop."   
  
Roman sat back. He blinked a few times. Then scrubbed his hands over his face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be acting like this. I just really love you."   
  
John sighed. "I know," he said. And it was true. John knew. John knew Roman really liked him. And maybe John had made a mistake tonight inviting Roman to his room and not expecting it to hurt Roman in some way. Unrequited love was a bitch. "Don't be sorry."   
  
Roman stood, a little wobbly. "I should go and call an Uber."   
  
He tried not to laugh, but John couldn't help being amused by drunk Roman.   
  
"Do they even have Uber in Australia?" Roman looked around eyes wide. He put a hand on John's shoulder to steady him, gripping with a bit of force.   
  
"Roman. You're staying at the same hotel."   
  
Realization colored Roman's flushed face. "Oh. Well... I should go."   
  
Roman leaned in and pressed his lips to John's. Like the first time, John stood there unmoving, waiting for Roman to stop. But Roman didn't move after a few long seconds and the kiss was feeling kind of good in a drunk stupor type of way. John didn't realize at first, but he had started to press his lips back. It didn't escalate farther then a simple kiss. No tongue. Little passion.   
  
And then John pulled away, holing Roman back with a firm hand to the chest. "Roman, you are seriously shit faced."   
  
Roman looked at John's blue eyes. Searching, maybe. Searching for some kind of attraction to him. "It's the henny," Roman grinned. "You know Henny-thing can happen."   
  
Roman tried to lean in for another kiss, but John pressed his hand into Roman's chest and pushed him back to sit on the couch again.   
  
"I think I'm going to call someone to come bring you to your room."   
  
"I'll be fine," Roman slurred.   
  
John chuckled, looking at Roman's crumpled body on the couch. "Yeah. Sure you'll be."   
  
John took Roman's phone and asked the man to unlock it for him.   
  
Such a bad idea having Roman here to drink. Roman was so drunk. Did the Samoan not know his limit? Or was this stress making it hard to know limits? John watched Roman from the corner of his eye as he called Seth.   
  
The phone rang several times before going to voicemail. John hung up before it could start recording.   
  
Of course, John would be lying if he didn't admit that Roman was really good looking slung over the arm of the couch, eyes hazy and looking directly at him. And the way Roman was licking his lips every so often, like he was thinking of John fucking him silly. God, John thought. Tempting, man.   
  
But John didn't think sober Roman would appreciate having drunk sex with John. It would only be once, John admitted. If it ever happened, John remembered.   
  
He tried calling Dean next. He almost gave up when the other line clicked and a voice answered.   
  
Roman watched John talk on the phone, admiring the older man. He knew he was shit faced right now. He was completely conscious of the fact. But he couldn't control his movements. He just wanted to touch John. He wanted to touch him so bad.   
  
Was it the alcohol or was it his inner most desires? The desires he had held back for so long.   
  
John hung up and tossed the phone back at Roman.   
  
Roman didn't even try to catch it.   
  
John sat back down and Roman sat up, almost reaching his hand out to touch John again. "Would you fuck me if I didn't love you?"   
  
"Rome..." John sighed. He gave a weary look to the man. John was losing his composure. If Roman kept talking about fucking him John wouldn't be able to control his action. He was buzzed and completely down for a good fuck. But the little angel on his shoulder kept telling him to be a good man and not take advantage of a wildly beautiful Samoan man.   
  
"Eat some more cookies, Roman." He tossed the case of cookies to Roman and was happy that it kept him distracted.   
  


* * *

  
Renee hung up her husband's phone with a chuckle. Sure it was horrible being woken up at -she looked at the time on the phone- 3 in the fucking morning. But this was the most interesting drunk call she had ever answered.   
  
She sat up, untangling herself from her husband's body. She looked over at Dean, his sleeping face making her smile softly. She kissed his head and then stood, grabbing a sweatshirt and slipping it over her pajamas.   
  
Dean had been so tired that night so she wasn't at all surprised that he hadn't woken up to his phone ringing. But Renee was sure that when she told him in the morning about this adventure she was about to take he was going to be so disappointed.   
  
Both Dean and Renee had some weird enjoyment in watching Roman's love life unfold like a bad telenovela.   
  
She walked barefoot out their room, over to the elevator and pressed the button for the floor John's room was on. The doors soon opened and Renee walked down the empty hallway. These were suites up here so there weren't many doors to search through. Finally she found John's and knocked.   
  
John opened the door after a minute, an apologetic look on his face. "Sorry about this."   
  
She waved her hand dismissively and laughed. "He hasn't gotten drunk in years. I'm sure he just needed to take a load off and get shit faced."   
  
Renee walked into the room and looked at her figurative brother-in-law. "Hey Ro," she said to the half-sleeping man.   
  
Roman looked up and a grin spread out on his face. "Nee Nee!"   
  
She chuckled. "Oh Roman. Let's get you to your room before you do something you'll regret."   
  
"Too late," John muttered. But Renee didn't hear him.   
  
With John's help, she hefted Roman to his feet and slung his thick arm around her shoulder. She walked with him to the door. "Hope the big bear wasn't too much trouble."   
  
John smirked. "Nothing I can't handle."   
  
"See you around, John," Renee said, leading the drunk Samoan twice her size out the door.   
  
John closed the door behind them, giving a small wave. He suddenly felt very very tired.   
  
Renee looked at Roman as they walked to the elevator. "Been a while since I had to drag one of you goofballs back to your rooms."   
  
Roman chuckled. "I'm drunk."   
  
"Oh yeah," Renee laughed with him. "Oh you are gonna be so mad tomorrow morning."   
  
They got on and off the elevator in one piece. She brought Roman to his and Seth's room. He dug through his pockets for the key card and gave it to Renee, who waited with her hand extended. She had done this a few times for her boys. It had been a while though.   
  
She dragged the man into the room and put him on the available bed. She plugged his phone into the charger before taking off his sandals and draping the blankets over him.   
  
Seth groaned, waking up to the noise. He looked over at Renee and Roman and gave a tired sigh. "How bad?"   
  
"Well, he knows he's drunk," Renee whispered.   
  
Seth laughed, closing his eyes and turning onto his side, ready to sleep again. "He's going to be so pissed tomorrow."   
  


* * *

  
Roman's face was set in a permanent scowl.   
  
Dean tried not to laugh beside him, he really did, but this was just funny.   
  
They sat on the plane beside eachother, Renee on Dean's other side. Seth had gotten a seat farther down so he didn't have a front row to hung over Roman.   
  
"Shut up," Roman mumbled.   
  
Dean just laughed harder.   
  
Roman closed his eyes and leaned his pounding head back against the seat. Fuck. This is one reason why he doesn't drink this much anymore.   
  
"Do you remember any of it?" Dean asked.   
  
Roman groaned. He put his hands on his face. "All of it."   
  
"How bad?"   
  
Roman dropped his hands down and looked at his best friend. "Bad. Really bad. ...I definitely made some really bold comments."   
  
Dean pressed his lips together. The mirth in his eyes gave away his amusement. "And how did he respond?"   
  
"He called you guys to pick me up, how do you think he responded?"   
  
"You know Rome," Dean said, voice going serious. Low so no nosy ears would hear him. "I thought you would have given up on him already. There are plenty of people you could get with. What about Finn?"   
  
Roman gave him a questioning look. He didn't answer Dean. Because he didn't know. What about Finn?   
  


* * *

  
**Sunday October 7, 2018**   
  
Finn Balor sat on a green chair staring out his hotel window. He was looking at New York City. It was city he loved dearly. He had great memories there.   
  
But it was a little bittersweet sitting there instead of on the plane ride back home from Australia. To not have a match was bringing his mood down. It was frustrating not being used on TV.   
  
But his mood had already been in the toilet. Almost an entire week had passed by since Roman had stormed by him in a rage. And true to his word, Finn had texted him Tuesday afternoon to check on him. But the big dog had never replied.   
  
That had hurt Finn more than he ever expected it to.   
  
Being ignored by the man you adored was plain torture.   
  
It was self-inflicted abuse, Finn was aware.   
  
Finn's hand unconsciously went to his chest, pressing lightly over his heart. Trying to dull the ache.   
  
If he had never played the stupid little game of flirting with Roman, he would never be feeling his heart hurt the way it was now. If he had never acted on his desires for Roman, the big dog would never have had the chance to screw him and leave him.   
  
Finn had let himself become the booty call.   
  
But Finn was well-aware, that if Roman called for him, he would come running.   
  
His heart and soul craved Roman. He loved Roman. And he would be there for Roman no matter what, even if it meant hurting himself in the process.   
  


* * *

  
**Monday Night Raw October 8, 2018**   
  
Roman had gotten used to not being in catering and bringing his meal with him while working solo. But when he rejoined with Dean and Seth, they had gotten in the habit of eating in catering.   
  
But today, Roman was sure he wasn't up to sitting in the crowded areas surrounded by so many other coworkers. So he brought a meal with him and sat on a wooden box crate eating.   
  
Seth and Dean had to go do some photoshoot stuff so it was blissful silence for the time being. He couldn't say that about the long ass plane ride yesterday. Dean wouldn't stop asking questions. And Roman was so sure that Renee was way too entertained by the fact that she had to help Roman back to his room. And Seth. Oh god. On the ride to the hotel in Chicago, Seth wouldn't shut the fuck up about how Roman needed to move on from John.   
  
It was like Dean and Seth were his parents and that they were trying to convince him to go out with "that nice Finn fellow".   
  
And yeah, Finn was a nice guy. Finn was sexy. Finn was apparently caring. Finn was a great overall guy with a smile that lit up the room and an ass that makes all viewers hard.   
  
But Roman's heart still belonged to a certain captain of the Cenation.   
  
He had no feelings for Finn except lust.   
  
And who the hell knows how Finn felt about him. They barely... talked... to one... another.   
  
Fuck!   
  
Roman just remembered he forgot to text Finn back.   
  
What an asshole he was.   
  
Finn had texted him asking him if he was okay, but he had never responded. He had been too preoccupied with the thoughts of seeing John again that he had completely forgotten the Irishman.   
  
He sighed, reminding himself to apologize when he saw Finn next.   
  
Dean texted him at the second, asking him where he was and Roman gave him a description, not exactly sure where he was sitting in the plan of things. A few minutes later, Dean sat beside him, munching from a plate of chips.   
  
"Tired of catering?"   
  
"Hell yes," Roman replied. He continued to eat, both men silent. A bit of tension between them.   
  
A roadie passing by stopped short at the sight of them. He looked at his clip board and looked back up at them. "You guys have a rematch with Braun, Dolph, and Drew. Mainevent. And before the show starts they want you guys to shoot a video promo so they can air it before the match."   
  
Dean blinked at the man then nodded slowly, a smile on his face. "We'll need a camcorder."   
  
The roadie went on his way, making a note and talking into his headset.   
  
Roman gave Dean an amused smirk. "Does anyone even own a camcorder anymore?"   
  
Dean shrugged.   
  
Roman was about to ask him what he had in mind, when they heard Seth's laughter from down the hall.   
  
Roman looked in the direction of the unmistakable voice and saw Seth walking up to them. On his left, Finn Balor, sporting a new merchandise t-shirt and some basketball shorts over his ring gear.   
  
Roman gave Finn a quick smile before looking at Seth's cheesy grin.   
  
"Look who I ran into, Rome," Seth said, not at all trying to hide the pride in his voice. "It's Finn."   
  
Dean shook his head and slouched back against the wall, watching Seth trying to meddle in someone's love life. He couldn't talk, he had done the same with Roman in regards to Cena back in August.   
  
Roman repressed an eye roll. Here was proud mother Rollins trying to set her son Roman up with nice boy Finn.   
  
Finn gave Seth a confused look before he looked at Roman and Dean to see if they knew why Seth was talking like that. "I'm pretty sure Roman can see it's me?"   
  
Dean snickered, looking away.   
  
Finn shoved his hands in his shorts pockets and smiled politely. "Well, I'll let you three be, I'm gonna meet up with Bayley."   
  
He started to walk away, not waiting for obligatory goodbyes or waves.   
  
Roman watched him for a second before hopping off the crate and following. "Finn," Roman called. "Wait up."   
  
If either man had looked back they would see Dean with curious eyes and Seth with a creepy grin.   
  
Finn stopped and looked over his shoulder. Roman caught up and stood beside him. The larger man crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Finn for a second. Finn just waited. He took the few seconds to admire Roman, letting his heart pound in his chest.   
  
"Hey, man," Roman finally started. "I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I wasn't in the right place last week and needed some time to myself."   
  
Finn nodded. He took one hand out of his pocket and put it on Roman's bare shoulder. "I understand. There's been alot going on."   
  
Roman smiled down at him. "Thank you for understanding. And thanks for checking up on me. It's nice to have friends that care."   
  
Oof.   
  
Finn felt that dagger in his heart.   
  
Friends. Such a dreaded word to the unrequited.   
  
Finn smiled back at Roman, fighting through his heart aching. "Well, it would be rude of me to not help when I can see how much stress and hurt you're in."   
  
Roman looked away and scratched the back of his head. "Present tense," Roman muttered to himself.   
  
Finn heard him still. He patted Roman's arm before dropping his hand and shoving it back in his pocket. "Plus, I've had your big dick in my mouth so I'd like to think we've stepped over the line of friendship. You have my number. Call me if you need someone to talk to, Roman."   
  
With that Finn continued his earlier path, making sure he didn't look back at Roman. The man he loved. The man who saw him as a good friend with sometimes benefits.   
  
Roman watched him go at first with wide eyes. Then he smirked, not once checking Finn's ass out, despite the lewd comment. For the first time, Roman just kept his eyes on Finn's back. He frowned. Finn was so nice to him. And he needed that after everything he's been feeling.   
  
And you know, Finn's mouth on his dick on occasion was an added plus, of course.   
  


* * *

  
Roman and the other Shield boys sat at a more secluded monitor this week. The hustle and bustle of the main viewing area near Gorilla was just too much for any of them to handle today. They were tired from a grueling show and agonizing plane ride. If they had to spend time around prying eyes they would all lose it.   
  
Because everyone was watching. They all had questions. They all wanted to know. Was Dean Ambrose going to leave the Shield? Was the Shield cracking despite all the times they have denied it? Was this the end of the Shield reunion?   
  
Were the three men no longer able to function as a group?   
  
Roman couldn't think about it anymore. His head was hurting again. This game of will he or won't he was starting to put both Roman and Seth on edge around Dean, even though they tried not to show it.   
  
The advertisement for the WWE World Cup came on tv and Roman groaned. So in 4 weeks he was going to be around John Cena again. He was going to combust. This was starting to become way too much.   
  
Would Roman never be able to step away from this love he had for John?   
  
And after what happened during the weekend. Oh God. He might as well never show his face in front of Cena again. Two kisses. And some very very bold comments.   
  
He specifically felt his body heat up remembering that he said something along the lines of his tight fat ass.   
  
Drunk Roman was thirsty Roman.   
  
This is why he didn't drink as much anymore. That was it. And well, yeah, he didn't drink much anymore because he was older and had out-lived his partying days. But mostly he didn't drink like a dumbass anymore because it made him into a literal dumbass.   
  
Roman wasn't sure how much he could handle. He loved a man he could not have. And instead of that man making this whole thing easier by pushing him away. He just let it happen. Roman couldn't wrap himself around it. John should build a wall between them and instead he was inviting him for drinks.   
  
All John's actions were doing was making Roman hold onto a sliver of hope that maybe- just maybe- John Cena would decide to screw up his entire name and brand to be with Roman.   
  
And every warning bell in Roman told him to let go. To not go down with the sinking ship. But he couldn't let go. He wouldn't let go until John told him straight out that nothing was ever going to happen between them with a solid punch to the face.   
  
_Would you fuck me if I didn't love you?_   
  
Roman had asked him that. But John had given him no answer. What was Roman supposed to think.   
  
He was losing his mind.   
  
His world was set on fire around him and instead of looking for a fucking fire extinguisher, he was thinking about John Cena's beautiful soul.   
  
Fuck.   
  
Roman sighed.   
  
Dean bumped his shoulder into Roman's, jarring the Samoan from his thoughts.   
  
"Stop thinking about him," Dean said.   
  
Roman frowned, the lines creasing his forehead. "Easier said than done."   
  
"I don't get it," Dean confessed, leaning back on his arms. "I know you like the guy. You've liked him for a while now. But I don't get why. He's obviously still into his ex. He's never around. He legit had a TV breakup about not wanting kids, which you have. And he knows how you feel but is still stringing you around like an asshole."   
  
Roman cringed. "I don't know. You think I wanted to like him? If I had a choice I wouldn't have ever even looked his way. But I can't help it. The heart wants what the heart wants."   
  
"Deano's got a point, Rome," Seth spoke up, looking away from his phone. "You need to realize there is no future with the guy. Think about it. Ten years from now where do you see yourself with him?"   
  
He couldn't answer. And it caused his head to hurt and his chest to pang.   
  
The monitor switched to a backstage interview with Finn Balor and Bayley.   
  
Seth pointed up at the screen. "Now this guy," Seth started. "He is fucking obviously into you, man. Like I'm seriously sure the entire roster knows that he wants you. You can see it in his face. He gets so happy when you're around. And last week you walked right by him and I think I saw the hearts in his eyes crumble to dust."   
  
Roman rolled his eyes. "Don't be dramatic. We had a fun time a couple weeks ago. He probably just wants to go at it again. I do have the magic touch, you know." He winked.   
  
Seth cringed now. "I'll take your word for it."   
  
Dean watched silently. He agreed with Seth. He could see how much Finn liked Roman. It was damn obvious. And maybe it was only sexual. But who says sex can't lead to more? Honestly, Dean just wanted Roman to be happy, and John Cena was not the guy to do that. It's only been a month and a half since Roman told him his feelings and John hasn't even taken into consideration how much Roman actually liked him. He just keeps calling. Keeps texting. Keeps fucking with Roman's head, whether he means to or not. And Dean didn't like that.   
  
"All I am saying," Seth continued, "Give the guy a chance. Maybe you can't move on from John because you haven't tried to actually move on. Get to know Finn. He's a great guy. And he's a friend."   
  
Roman groaned. "Let me think about it."   
  
Will he think about it?   
  
Maybe.   
  
But in all honesty, Roman didn't really think about Finn in a relationship way. He was super attracted to the man, yes. But was Roman willing to get together with someone he had no feelings for? No.   
  
And why were Seth and Dean so invested in him getting with Finn?   
  
This is why he never was open about his love life before. Other people get in the way.   
  


* * *

  
They were near the crowd entrance waiting to go in. A few fans snapped pictures and tried to talk to them but security held them back.   
  
They could hear the ramblings of an energetic Paul Heyman.   
  
God. Roman hated that guy. Especially after that shit he pulled trying to get him out of his head. Speaking in Samoan. Talking about his family. Pretending to be on his side.   
  
Smarmy bastard should choke on air, Roman thought.   
  
Eventually Roman just sounded him out and tried to get in the zone. When they got the cue from their roadie, Roman followed his brothers into battle. It was an action he had done many times before and would do again and again. Follow them into the depths of war. He wished he could say the same about them. But after the weeks of having to look around an make sure he hadn't been abandoned, he wasn't sure.   
  
The match worked like any other.   
  
Except, Braun and his pet projects were starting to turn on eachother like hungry dogs. Braun was barking orders around like a fool. It was having different effects on both Drew and Dolph. Drew was getting visibly annoyed. He wasn't the type to take orders from anyone. This was not what he had signed up for when he teamed up with Dolph months ago. On the other hand, Dolph tried harder. He wanted to please Braun. He knew he was the weak link.   
  
Seth was usually the brain of the group, able to strategize and analyze while wrestling, but even Roman could read that mess. The fall of Braun and his jackasses was obvious as opposed to the large fault lines the lay trembling underneath the Shield boys.   
  
And though Roman could say he knew what Dean was feeling, he had no clue. And that was the original foreshock that split the foundation of their group. Roman only knew what he was feeling. But no matter how many time he or seth asked Dean what was going on, the man would close himself off. An 8.6 on Richter scale was going to come and destroy them all and no one could figure out a way to pull themselves to safety.   
  
And it was driving Roman insane.   
  
Throughout the match, the boys were there to help their own out, while Braun yelled at his team to get their shit together.   
  
Roman tried to lift Braun again. To his surprise he actually manage to heft the big bastard over his shoulders and drop back into a Samoan drop. But fuck that was alot of weight. Pretty sure he just got himself another hernia.   
  
Roman tagged in Seth and rolled away, laying on the ring side. He was drenched in sweat and exhausted, but he couldn't help the smile that played on his panting lips when Dean came and checked on him. Dean stayed at his side for a few minutes while Seth took care of business in the ring. Seth was amazing as he flew back and forth.   
  
Seth went for the pin, but Drew came and interrupted it. Dean slid into the ring and went after Drew. But it left the door open for Braun to try and choke out Dean and Seth. Roman gathered every ounce he could and moved quickly, knocking Braun with a good Superman punch.   
  
Braun and his boys were outside the ring near the ramp. Dean and Seth shared a knowing look, one they've shared many times before. They ran and flew through the ropes, catching Drew and Dolph. But Braun stayed standing.   
  
Roman couldn't let his best friends have all the flying fun. So he did something he rarely did. He flew. Right at Braun. And he took his ass out.   
  
The ref must have been happy as hell when the match got back under control. All six men got back into their places. Seth was at the mercy of Braun in the ring. Which was no mercy at all. Seth got him off of him, but before Seth could tag out, Drew was tagged in and dragged Seth back.   
  
The Scot slapped Seth's head and yelled at him. "Come on, Seth. Is that all you got? Is this the mighty Shield?"   
  
Roman wanted to punch his dumb ass mouth.   
  
After a near pinfall on Seth, Drew tags in Dolph. The crowd was loud. They were cheering Seth to get the tag. But the second he tried again, he gets stopped.   
  
Another chance comes up for a tag, but Braun takes down Roman and Dean before Seth could get to them first. Seth had no one to tag.   
  
Braun turned his anger on Dolph, yelling at him. But it seemed that Dolph grew a back bone and started to yell back. Braun grabbed Dolph by the neck and was ready to probably kill him, when Drew came to his tag championship partner. They stared eachother down until Seth rushes up and hits them before tagging in Dean.   
  
In hindsight, Seth should have let the idiots fight one another. It would have just turned into a clusterfuck and Seth would have been okay with that.   
  
Dean coame in and took care of his shit. He was taking no time at all to fight down Drew. It was pinfall after pinfall. Dean tried to go for Dirty Deeds, but Drew reversed it and pinned the lunatic fringe.   
  
Roman got there just in time to break up the pin just as the ref's hand was coming down for three. Close call.   
  
The match turned into chaos again. Roman tried to punch Braun again, but the big brute dropped him like bad food in catering. Dean dove through the ropes for the billionth time, trying to get Braun before he did Roman any more damage, but Braun caught him. He reversed it into a ddt. And when Braun stood up, Roman took him back to the floor with a spear.   
  
Bodies were everywhere.   
  
Dean's hand brushed on Roman's arm, checking if he was okay.   
  
The ref was counting Dean out. He got back into the ring only to be hit with Drew's big ass boot.   
  
And before Dean could even consciously figure out what had happened, Drew had won.   
  
Roman and Seth rolled into the ring. The three watched as Braun, Drew, and Dolph rose their arms in victory before going backstage.   
  
And then, like it was taken straight from Roman's anxious dreams, Dean rolled out of the ring and walked up the ramp, not looking back once.   
  
You ever feel like the world's crashing down. Sometimes it’s over a breakup or a family member's death. Sometimes it’s losing a job or getting into a bad car accident. Sometimes it's realizing you haven't been paying attention and now you’re fucked.   
  
Roman felt like his world was crashing down on him as Dean walked away.   
  
Dean, his best friend.   
  
The man who had stood by his side from FCW to now. The man who never betrayed him. Never gave him reason to worry. Never left Roman out to dry. His boy. His family.   
  
But then that was what exactly happened. And Roman could feel his heart shatter   
  
This felt 4 times worse then when John turned him down in Brooklyn.   
  
This felt like he was dying alone.   
  
And Roman just didn't understand why.   
  
Seth and Roman got backstage, hoping to catch up with Dean, but he was gone and so was his stuff. They would see later that night in the hotel room that Dean had been interviewed as he stormed out of the building. His words. What Dean said in the interview. It made no sense to Roman.   
  
When they changed, silent and moody, they found Renee waiting for them.   
  
"He called, said he was at the hotel and didn't want to talk," She said. Her hand held out the phone for them to see, as if they wouldn't believe her. She was shaking slightly. This was making her nervous too. Her husband was a little out of the box, but he didn't normally storm out when the going got tough. He was a fighter.   
  
"You have any idea what that was about?" Seth asked, his voice on edge.   
  
Renee clenched her jaw, not liking the attitude in her brother-in-law's voice. "Does it look like I know what he's thinking?"   
  
"Aren't you his wife?" Seth exclaimed. His hands rose up in question.   
  
"Aren't you his brother!?"   
  
Roman had never heard the laid back Renee Young yell. With wide eyes, Roman pulled on his big brother pants and put one hand on Seth, wordlessly calming him down.   
  
Roman had some idea why Dean was upset. He had no clue if theis was the real reason the smaller man had walked out, but he hoped. "Look. Both of you need to calm down. He's just frustrated. We have all been frustrated before. He's not leaving the Shield. He's not going to do anything crazy or dumb. If he was, he would have done it in the arena, not at the hotel."   
  
Seth looked at Roman with his doe eyes and slowly nodded. "Yeah. You're right. He's just upset. We'll give him space," Seth said. He looked at Renee with an apologetic twitch of his lips. "But tell him that I'm finding his ass at the next houseshow and I'm going to punch him square in the mouth if he gives me that _I'm fine_ bullshit."   
  


* * *

  
Roman couldn't sleep. He had been the voice of reason earlier so that Renee and Seth could calm down, but now he was feeling a heavy weight on his shoulders. He was hearing Dean's voice saying "Maybe I just don't fit in anywhere anymore." Over and over.   
  
And the only thing he wanted to do was talk to his best friend. Tell him about how fucked up he was feeling. But he was feeling that way because of his best friend.   
  
This whole thing was a mess and it was making Roman lose his mind. Annoyed? Upset? Pissed off? Ready to cry like a little girl.   
  
Worst part, was that Roman had no idea what to think.   
  
He hoped this was all just Dean being a prima donna. But he wasn't sure.   
  
Out of all people in his life, Roman had never expected Dean to walk away from him and it was shattering his insides.   
  
Roman expected work to be hard. He expected his love life to be lonely (as it has been for years). But he hadn't expected Dean to just leave him aching in the ring.   
  
His hand went up to his tattooed shoulder. It was bruised from Australia from when he speared Braun into the barricade. It wasn't broken or anything, but it was a dull ache that bothered him.   
  
The clock said 4am.   
  
He groaned, ready to throw his pillow against the wall.   
  
Instead he got up out of bed, glanced at Seth sleeping body in the other bed and softly padded to his bag. He grabbed a shirt, slipping it over his naked torso. It was a dark grey color as opposed to the navy track pants he had worn to bed. He put on some socks and his workout sneakers.   
  
Before Seth could even wake up at the noise, Roman left the room, taking his key card, phone, and headphones.   
  
Roman hoped the hotel gym was open this late. Or this early depending on Roman's idea of time at the moment.   
  
To his relief it was open.   
  
He put on a playlist, hard old school beats pounding into his ear drums. There was a glimmer of a hope that the loud noise would drown out his heavy thoughts.   
  
The weights dragged his arms down as he pumped away, watching his form in the mirror, letting the music wash over him.   
  
When his tired arms started to give out on him, he dropped the weights, unable to hear their clanking on the floor near his feet. Roman laid back on the nearby bench and stared up at the ceiling. The lights were garish. It gave a white glow to his sweating body.   
  
Sitting up, with a gruff huff, Roman looked around for the first time since he got there.   
  
He was surprised to see someone on the treadmill. He honestly hadn't noticed anyone had come into the gym.   
  
He was even more surprised to see that it was Finn.   
  
Roman smiled.   
  
Finn "always a stone's throw away" Balor.   
  
Of course, Roman didn't realize he was truly smiling for the first time in days. He had been so racked with stress lately. Getting drunk and throwing himself at John Cena didn't help. And not having Dean to talk to and make him laugh was killing him. He pushed fake smiles to cover up his ongoing anxiety, but this one was different. He didn't force this one.   
  
As if sensing Roman, Finn turned his head and met his eyes.   
  
Seas of blue light stared directly into his eyes from across the room.   
  
It sent a shiver down Roman's spine. He hoped Finn didn't see it.   
  
Finn's eyes were pulling him in. They were the clearest of blues, with hints of greens and greys. Like waves of a stormy ocean. Sucking him in and thrashing him around. Roman didn't realize he had started walking over to Finn until the Irishman turned away to stop the treadmill's brisk pace.   
  
Finn smiled at him. His face was as tired as Roman felt.   
  
"Good morning," Finn said, voice soft. It wasn't quite a whisper, but it wasn't very much louder then that. A mellow sea breeze to caress Roman's aching muscles.   
  
"It's still night for me," Roman responded, wiping the sweat dripping from his face with the hem of his t-shirt.   
  
Finn's smile grew a little as he hopped off the machine and stood in front of the Samoan man that plagued his dreams. He walked the few steps to a spare bench and sat. He was still steadying his breathing as he looked back up at Roman, who had moved those steps with him.   
  
"Couldn't sleep?" Roman asked him, sitting to his left.   
  
"Yes and no," Finn said. He had to wake up early either way to ride to Smackdown in Indianapolis with Bayley. But he also just couldn't sleep. "Alot on my mind"   
  
Roman nodded. "Like what?" He asked, generally curious. He needed a break from his own troubles.   
  
A simple but sad look crossed Finn's eyes, it slipped away before Roman could really see it.   
  
_You._ Finn thought. _You have been on my mind for a long time. And every night that passes the more I think of you._   
  
Finn swallowed the thoughts and pursed his lips like he was thinking. "Just work," he lied. Roman didn't catch it in his voice. Maybe because it was only half a lie. Work had been on his mind too. "They've put me on the backburner. I love working with Bayley, she's amazing and it's been fun, but I wish I was putting in some serious work for a championship. I haven't held gold in a long time. Think I've forgotten what it's like."   
  
Roman didn't expect all of that. Yeah, he had noticed that Finn didn't really have a place on the show lately, but he didn't actually expect it to bother Finn like that. Of course, Roman was dumb to not expect that. He would be feeling the same if it was him. He'd probably be wallowing in despair if he had no storyline.   
  
"What do you plan on doing?" Roman asked.   
  
Finn grinned up at him. "Obviously the smart thing for me to do is wait until the smoke has cleared after Crown Jewel and come back for my championship."   
  
Roman chuckled. "I can't wait. I'd rather fight you then Braun or Brock."   
  
His blue hues flashed with a playful gleam, only intensified under the white LED lights overhead. "Such confidence."   
  
Roman just grinned at him and Finn laughed.   
  
They sat for a second looking around the gym and it's stark coloring. "So you're pulling double duty this week, right? Heading to Smackdown tonight?"   
  
Finn nodded. He wouldn't lie, he was stunned that Roman even knew what was going on in Finn's world with his own world in chaos.   
  
"How's that going?"   
  
"Well I get to ride with Bayley so at least it's not boring," Finn says, sighing. Then he cringed. "Alot of bad singing, though."   
  
Roman laughed. "From you or from her?"   
  
Finn put a hand over his heart like he had been insulted. "I sing like an Irish angel."   
  
Still laughing, Roman leaned back, shoulders pressing against the whitewash wall and he looked at Finn's smile. "I find that hard to believe."   
  
Finn put on his best impression of Roman's voice and rumbled a "Believe that."   
  
It only made Roman laugh harder, Finn joining in.   
  
When their chuckles trailed off, Finn sighed. "You know, we never actually talked like this before," Finn leaned back against the wall, too. They sat close on the small bench, just enough space between them to not be touching. There was a pull there. Finn could feel it. He could feel his desire to feel Roman reach for him. He shoved his hands in his pockets quickly. He wouldn't touch Roman right now. It would only make Finn's heart clench in pain to know he has touched him again and that it meant nothing to the Samoan. "It's always been small talk or promos."   
  
"Well, and my tongue in your ass," Roman pointed out with a wide grin.   
  
Finn laughed again. "That was only once so it doesn't count."   
  
"Oh, okay. So more than once counts as a conversation. Got it."   
  
Finn playfully knocks his shoulder into Roman. Relaxed Roman was amazing. He was funny and full of giggles. It warmed Finn up from head to toe even though he didn't realize he was cold.   
  
They were quiet again so Finn took the opportunity to stare at Roman. Roman could feel him looking at him. He wondered if Finn even realized it. It made Roman's skin feel like it was on fire. He could be watched by tens of thousands of people in an arena and not feel a thing. But Finn's ocean eyes made the hairs on his skin stand at attention.   
  
Finn sighed quietly, almost unnoticeable. "So why are you down here in the early hours of the day?"   
  
Roman closed his eyes. He had hoped Finn wouldn't want to talk to him about his trainwreck life. He gulped, oblivious to the way Finn watched his adam's apple bob. "Couldn't sleep, so I thought I would try to work the stress away."   
  
"The two long plane rides, matches, and shoulder through the barricade wasn't enough?"   
  
A sliver of a smile. "Nope."   
  
Finn's fingers itched in his pockets. They were dying to caress Roman's cheek and comfort the man.   
  
"I meant it when I told you that if you ever needed an ear to talk to, I was around," Finn said. His voice was low. Like how he had said good morning earlier. In that non-whisper. "It's not good to hold onto that stress. I can see it written all over your face."   
  
Roman slowly opened his eyes and was met with Finn's deep gaze. He felt like he was under a microscope. He never registered just how much Finn's eyes on him made him so self-conscious. They had fooled around and had phone sex. They had had matches. They had walked around eachother many times at events. But only now did Finn's big blue eyes make him feel like he was burning.   
  
"Tell me everything, Roman. Tell me what hurts. Tell me why you're awake at 4am working out instead of getting the few ours of sleep we are allotted. Let it out."   
  
His brown eyes roamed over Finn's face, studying the sharp features, for a few seconds. Finn's eyes had dropped their usual amusement. Instead they were hard, but caring. Like he was ready to hear it all. Roman sighed heavily.   
  
"Well. The usual stresses of being a champ. I run around at every show doing media and photos and promos. Sometimes it's like I don't have time to blink."   
  
Finn shook his head. "No. That's normal. That's everyday in the life of WWE. I can tell that work is a problem. But it's not _the_ big problem."   
  
Roman slouched like a child forced to answer a math question he hadn't done for homework. Shoulders sagging against the wall. "I'm losing my best friend and I have no idea what to do. I've tried to talk to him. I've tried giving him space. I can't figure it out. And it's tearing me apart."   
  
A hum from Finn told Roman to continue.   
  
"I still have Seth. But Seth left us before and it was just me and Dean. For years just us. And to see him even think about leaving us -me, is just digging into my head and I can't sleep. All I could see was him walking away."   
  
Finn's hand left his pocket and rested on the bigger man's tattooed shoulder. Just for second. Then he dropped his hand back down. "Let him decide what is best. This is all obviously something Dean needs to figure out. Don't push him one way or the other. He's still your best friend."   
  
Roman nodded and muttered an affirmative acknowledgement. "I know."   
  
"But you were already stressed and upset before this whole mess with Dean."   
  
A twitch of Roman's lips. Finn was very observant. Must be the fact that those eyes were singeing his skin. He took a breath and looked in front of him at whatever was there. He wasn't actually paying attention to the equipment he was staring at. He just couldn't look at Finn.   
  
Should he confess his soul? Should he tell this man what was always on his mind? Sure he had seen Finn cumming, but was this the man he should spill personal information to?   
  
Well, couldn't get more personal then phone sex in the hotel bathroom while several close friends tried to sleep. Might as well tell someone who wasn't completely invested in his dating life like Seth or Dean. Not that Dean was willing to listen tonight.   
  
"I'm in love with a man who will never want me." Might as well be blunt with it.   
  
_Aren't we all?_ Finn thought. But he felt sad for Roman regardless. He wondered who it was. Was his suspitions about Dean and Roman correct? Was there an affair that is crumbling behind closed doors?   
  
"You don't have to name names if you don't want to."   
  
Roman chuckles dryly. "I can say it. It's ridiculous anyway. ...John Cena."   
  
Clear blue eyes went wide, eyebrows arched in shock. Then his features softened. "That day in Brooklyn when I saw you and you were as pale as a ghost...?"   
  
Roman nodded. "I had just come back from confessing to him. Oh God. Listen to me. Confessing. Like I'm a school girl."   
  
Finn took Roman's hand in his and grasped it. His other hand joined the clasp and covered Roman's hand. He patted the hand trying to comfort the Samoan. His thumb drew aimless circles on the warm skin. "You can tell me about it. I know unrequited love very well," he said in a hushed tone. His eyes stayed on their hands.   
  
His heart ached as he listened to Roman tell his tale. He had fallen for John after their match a year ago. And he had gotten the courage to confess after Summerslam. John had been a nice guy about it, but Roman couldn't stop his feelings. Then John was still so nice to him and Roman kept this glimmer of hope that maybe John would at least want to kiss Roman back.   
  
Finn knew his heart should be jumping for joy about holding Roman's hand right now. It was a dream come true, truthfully. But he was sad instead. Knowing that Roman was emotionally in pain hurt Finn so much. He didn't want Roman to feel this way. He wanted to take all that pain away.   
  
Finn continued to caress Roman's hand even when the man had finished talking. "Add a distant Dean, a big brute Braun, a bug like Brock, and heartbreak ... How are you still functioning?" Finn asked.   
  
Roman answered with an unsure face and a tiny shrug. He kept his mouth shut, enjoying the comforting touch of Finn's hands around his.   
  
Finn sighed. He was doing that alot lately. "You put up a good front, Roman. But I can see it in your eyes. You were so happy after Summerslam and then as each week passes your smile gets smaller and smaller."   
  
"I think you're spending too much time paying attention to me," Roman rumbled.   
  
"Maybe so."   
  
Roman couldn't help thinking about how much Seth and Dean had mentioned Finn to him. And he had wondered on that plane ride back, hungover and broken, what about Finn? What about this man?   
  
He didn't want to date Finn. He loved John with all his heart. But maybe they could be something else. Him and Finn.   
  
Roman sat up and leaned into Finn, crossing the few inches between them. He pressed his lips against Finn's to the Irishman's surprise. Roman separated before Finn had a chance to melt into the kiss. His brown eyes met blue-green ocean waves for the 20th time so far that night. He whispered, voice coarse like gravel, "Make me forget him."   
  
A small smile tugged at Finn's face. It was very different from his usual grin. He took his caressing hand from off of Roman's and put it on the side of Roman's face, pulling him forward towards him. He kissed the Samoan, letting a bit of his own feelings into the lock. "My pleasure."   
  
They sat back and looked at eachother. They let their understanding wash over them. This was going to be sex to help Roman move on from the man he cannot have. It was nothing more, nothing less to Roman. It wasn't going to be dating.   
  
Finn's phone jingled with an alarm. He slowly let go of Roman's hand to shut the alarm off and gave apologetic eyes. "I have to go. Have to head out soon."   
  
Roman nodded. "Yeah, maybe I can get an hour of sleep in before my flight."   
  
They leaned in one more time, Finn's hand back on Roman's face. When they let go, Finn sighed contently and Roman smirked. "I'll see you at Friday's show."   
  
And they went their separate ways.   
  
Finn was a bit self destructive. He love Roman and despite knowing how much Roman cared for another man, Finn would happily give himself to the Samoan for just a gentle smile and feel strong arms around his body.   
  
It didn't matter how hurt Finn would be in the end.   
  
Because at least he could say he got to hold Roman close, even just a little.


	9. Chapter 9

_'Bout to come at you with some good sexy shit.  
this is the second update this week so if you missed the last chapter, go back._   
  


* * *

  
John Cena had been on tour for his new children's book. It was the Supershow Saturday, a long ass plane ride to NYC, and then he was in Philly. By Friday he was in Washington DC.   
  
It had been some time since he last traveled like that. Being away from WWE for the last few months has made him soft. He used to be able to travel cross country and back in one day and be fine. But back on tour for the book was exhausting.   
  
He sat in his hotel room, back against the headboard. The TV was on some football game, but he was just idly scrolling through twitter. He was trying to quiet his brain so he could sleep, but it was no use. His head would not shut the hell up.   
  
He missed Nikki on these nights. He missed her big brown eyes looking at him with so much love and caring. He missed her body pressed into his while they slept. He missed her little quips and her ideas. John just really missed her.   
  
But he knew that they had broken up for a reason.   
  
He understood that.   
  
But did he hope they would get back together in the future? Hell yeah.   
  
He didn't want to move on, even though they had way too many problems to fix. Too many differences that couldn't be forgotten. And too much hurt that couldn't be forgiven.   
  
But there was this need in John. A need many people know. A need that is a huge part in human history.   
  
And that is the need for comfort and affection.   
  
His mind quickly flipped to Roman as it had been prone to do in the last few days- okay, weeks.   
  
The way Roman's fingers had gently skimmed and pressed into his lower back, just at the edge of his waistband. Just thinking about it made John feel a twitch in his baggy sweatpants.   
  
The way Roman had kissed him Saturday was sloppy and drunk, but it had this desire laced in it. And John knew very well that he had started to kiss back before he gained control of his senses. John might have fucked Roman that night if he looked past the Samoan man's inebriation. But he didn't like to take advantage of people.   
  
If John had been a different man with different morals, he would have been sated and content.   
  
Instead the only type of 'tent' he was, was sporting a tent in his pants.   
  
John shook his head and willed his erection to go away. He pushed the thoughts of how Roman said "tight fat ass" to the depths of his mind. And he begged to himself to stop imagining Roman bouncing around on his lap wildly.   
  
All things considered, John had never been one to lust after another man. Screwing guys had been a necessity of his young horny days. But he never once had this problem. It had been a _'hey want to fuck?' 'yeah okay' wham bamb thank you ma'am, never gonna speak of this again_ , type of situation. But this thing with Roman was not.   
  
And John just assumed it was because Roman had a crush on him.   
  
A deep sigh left his lips. He couldn't believe he was contemplating actually hitting Roman up for Saudi Arabia. He was actually thinking about it. But he knew he shouldn't. He didn't want Roman. He wanted pussy. Roman had no pussy. He shouldn't even be thinking about this.   
  
He needed advice. So he scrolled through the contacts and called the most blunt asshole he knew. And the only asshole who knew about John's past gay encounters.   
  
Randy Orton.   
  
Randy picked up at the 3rd or 4th ring. It wasn't late in Saint Louis, so John knew he hadn't woken a sleeping viper.   
  
"Haven't heard from you in a while," Randy said the second he answered the phone.   
  
"Yeah, well, I've been so busy. I can't just stop what I'm doing and call your needy ass," John smirked.   
  
He heard Orton give a dry chuckle. "What do you need, Cena?"   
  
"Advice."   
  
"Oh shit. This must be bad if you're calling me," Randy muttered, a sense of surprise in his deep gravelly voice. "Hold on." John heard movement over the phone and only assumed Randy was moving to a secluded part of his house. He heard more shuffling and then the tell-tale sound of Randy lighting up a cigarette and taking a puff. "Alright. What's wrong?"   
  
John sighed. "I am screwed."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Bottom line? I want to fuck Roman Reigns," John said, not sugar coating a damn thing.   
  
John couldn't see Randy through the phone, but he knew that Randy must have pulled the phone away from his ear and gave the device a strange look.   
  
"Aren’t you a little old for fucking your way back to the champions picture," the viper mocked.   
  
"Haha, fuck you."   
  
Randy blew the smoke out of his mouth with a puffed laugh. "What happened? It's been a while since you last came to me with some weird existential crisis."   
  
John shifted on the bed, stretching out, essentially ignoring Randy's words. "Okay, I trust you not to go blabbing about this. Honestly, I don't want to fuck up the kid's life and I promised him that it was going to stay between me and him."   
  
"Who would I tell?"   
  
"Everyone," John jabbed. "You are seriously the most fucked up guy I know, Randy, so probably everyone for no reason. With your dick hanging out."   
  
Randy's deep laughter bellowed in John's ear, it made the older man roll his eyes.   
  
"Good point," Randy laughed. "No I swear. I won't say anything to anyone. I never told anyone about your secret gay backstage trysts before."   
  
"Okay, so, remember I was stateside for a few days? So I passed by Raw and Smackdown. Well Tuesday before going to Smackdown, I went and got lunch with the kid. Talk to him about how it’s going and be there if he had questions. -What I always do with the young guys. But then he needed to talk in private so we went to my room."   
  
"Spare me any graphic details, Jay."   
  
"No. Nothing happened like that. But he was in front of me like BAM in my face kissing me out of nowhere and then he apologized but told me he loved me," John confessed.   
  
Randy sighed. His next words were grumbled. "Poor guy. It's not easy doing what he did. And to you of all people. You're impossible to love. He must have lost his head taking so many F-5s from Lesnar."   
  
John muttered a fuck off to Randy, who responded with "You know I love you, best friend," in the most joking tone. John shot back "shut up, asshole."   
  
Randy cleared his throat, trying to hide his humor. "So what changed?"   
  
"I'm desperate for a fuck and he's got these lips tha-"   
  
"Jay," Randy barked. "Please stop. I don't need to see him at PPVs and think about you wanting him to blow you. It's not what I want or need in my life, thanks."   
  
John shook his head. "Sorry. Okay. So yeah. And I've turned him down twice now, but damn man I'm thinking about it. What should I do?"   
  
"Do you actually care about the kid?"   
  
"I care about him like any other guy in the back. I want him to do well and have a good life. But I don't like him like that."   
  
"Jay, I say this with as much respect for Roman and you as I can. Go fuck him into a mattress and get him out of your system. Jesus Christ man. Maybe he just wants to fuck you too and after one night you guys never have to think about this ever again."   
  


* * *

  
Seth had been taken off the house show on Friday. He needed to take care of some stuff at his wrestling school back home.   
  
So that meant Roman would be tagging with Dean. Who he had not heard from or seen since the man walked away from him Monday night.   
  
Roman looked at Dean with weary eyes as they entered the ring. Which Dean was he going to fight alongside today? His brother? Or the man who didn't feel like he belonged in the Shield?   
  
Dean was the same old Dean before the match started. In the zone. Twitching around the ring, eyes focused, fists shadow boxing. He nodded at Roman.   
  
Surprisingly, that nod was enough for him to feel like he could trust Dean not to leave him during the match. He shouldn't trust Dean. Not after everything that's been said and done. But this was Dean. It was his best friend.   
  
And he wanted his best friend by his side. Who wouldn't want that? Roman needed Dean.   
  
They ended up winning the match. Celebrating in the ring, arms raised by the ref. Backstage, though, they were quiet, catching their breaths and wiping off sweat from their faces. Roman lowered his head as he looked at his tactical vest, pulling the straps apart so he could take it off.   
  
A closed fist came into view, black tape around the wrist and the palm.   
  
Roman lifted his eyes, head still bowed, and looked at the man who belonged to that fist.   
  
Dean's blue eyes stared at him, but when Roman looked up, he averted the gaze. Roman took a breath, feeling it fill his chest. He extended his fist and bumped it into Dean's.   
  
A flicker of a cute smile on Dean's face, dimple showing up. Then Dean walked away, grabbed his bags and left the room. No words. No hug. Nothing.   
  
Roman sighed. He sat down on the bench, alone in the locker room. He felt two times older then before the match. These mind games that Dean was playing...   
  
Roman knew Dean wasn't playing them, though. Dean didn't play mind games with Roman. Dean was most likely confused. He didn't know what he wanted. Didn't know where he belonged. And Roman could blame Dolph for planting the seed of doubt in Dean's head. He could blame Drew for pinning Dean on Monday. He could blame the injury that had Dean out for 9 months. Hell, he could even blame Seth for trading sides in 2014. But instead, Roman found the blame falling directly onto his broad shoulders.   
  
Dean was his brother and he couldn't figure out how to help the man understand that being beside Roman was where he belonged.   
  
Or maybe it was Roman's fault this was happening because he couldn't see Dean so upset and frustrated with his career until it started to weigh heavily. All because Roman was too preoccupied with his love interest.   
  
He had been so lonely with no lover. No relationship. And now he was even lonelier with no best friend to set him straight and tell him what's what.   
  
A hand skimmed over his shoulders as he bent down to untie his boots. He combed his hair back with his hand and looked behind him, smiling up at Finn.   
  
Finn grinned at him brightly, eyes sparkling.   
  
Finn was already changed from his match against Bobby Lashley earlier. Track pants hugging his hips tightly. Grey sweatshirt and navy blue beanie on Finn's head gave the man a cozy look.   
  
The hand that had skimmed over his shoulders now massaged the back of his neck. Roman hummed at the feeling. It felt nice. It felt nice to be touched in an intimate way.   
  
"Stop blaming yourself," Finn advised. "What Dean is going through isn't your fault."   
  
Roman stared up at him, eyes roaming over Finn trying to figure out if the Demon spirit was real and could read minds.   
  
Finn's lips twitched and bent down with a surprising kiss. It was a quick peck on the lips. They didn't need someone walking in on them and seeing Finn Balor kissing the Universal Champion. "Your emotions are all over your face," Finn admitted.   
  
Roman pursed his lips, but somehow it showed amusement. "Or you're reading my mind."   
  
Finn laughed. "Oh yeah. I know what you're thinking all the time."   
  
Romaen stood, kicking off his boots and unbuttoning his black pants. His gaze looked Finn from head to toe, eyes hot and focused. "What am I thinking about right now?"   
  
"I can think of a few things," Finn purred. He turned around, lifted the hem of the sweatshirt up to give Roman a better view of the tight fabric barely holding together to hide a delicious ass. "I mean, I didn't squeeze into these pants for nothing."   
  
Roman snickered. "You should have just kept them off. I wouldn't have minded you walking in only in your underwear."   
  
Finn raised his eyebrows up high. His face was the picture of suppressed amusement. "Who said I was wearing underwear?"   
  
He couldn't help biting his bottom lip as Finn's words filled his ears. He muttered a curse word, not totally sure which one, because he was too busy looking at Finn with lust evident in his eyes.   
  
Finn grinned at Roman from over his shoulder, obviously content at the bigger man's reaction.   
  
Roman licked his lip imagining the fun he would be having right now if there wasn't a risk of other people walking in at any moment. Then Finn started to walk away.   
  
"Where you going?"   
  
Finn ignored his question and winked. "Don't get a room when you get to Allentown."   
  
It was Roman's turn to arch a brow, but he was smirking despite it. "You expect me to drive 4 hours this turned on?"   
  
Finn nodded and then left the room.   
  
Roman sat back down, laughter rumbling in his chest.   
  
_What a tease,_ Roman thought.   
  
Roman would be lying if he didn't say he was really enjoying his banter with Finn.   
  


* * *

  
Roman had gotten a ride to Allentown, PA with Apollo Crews and Titus O'Neil. They had a spare seat now that Dana wasn't with them anymore. He spent some of the ride talking to his daughter's mother about how everything was going. He was thankful to not have any animosity with her. They were able to work as a family for his daughter despite not being together and that was all he could ask for.   
  
The other part of the car ride was filled with stories and laughter. Titus and Apollo knew how to make Roman feel comfortable. You know, especially since he usually road with Dean.   
  
As he got near the hotel he text Finn. _Be there in ten. What's your room number?_   
  
A response came a minute later. _414\. There's a key card waiting for you at the front desk_   
  
Finn was smart to make sure Roman got a key card. and checked in. It would be very suspicious for Roman to not check into the hotel. He would sure get questions from Apollo and Titus.   
  
Roman hefted his bags from the trunk and rolled them into the marbled floor lobby. The guy at the front desk typed his name in when Roman told him he already had a room. He was handed the keycard and told that his room mate was already in.   
  
Roman didn't miss the quizzical eyes from the two men he drove in with.   
  
"Night guys, I'll see you in the morning," Roman called, raising a hand in a wave. He walked over to the elevator, hoping they didn't catch up with him.   
  
He was tired, but the thought of Roman fucking Finn kept him wide awake and buzzing with energy.   
  
The keycard slid in easily. It felt like long minutes before the light flashed green and the door unlocked. It was only actually a second or two. But it felt long as hell to Roman.   
  
He was already starting to get hard thinking about all the things he could do to Finn tonight.   
  
He rolled his bag through the door, leaving them off to the side. Brown eyes scanned the room for Finn, but he wasn't waiting on either of the regular sized beds.   
  
Then the bathroom door opened and out walked a shirtless Finn, ass still stuffed in those tight track pants.   
  
Finn walked over to Roman, a smile on his face and eyes narrowed. He ran one hand down Roman's shirt covered side before gripping the hem of the shirt with both hands and pulling the fabric off. He wanted Roman naked as quick as possible. He was impossibly in need of Roman's body.   
  
He needed Roman's body to help shave off the need to love the man. _This wasn't about love,_ Finn reminded himself. This was about making Roman forget John. This was about making Roman de-stress. This was about Roman. Not about him.   
  
He would just have to swallow his love for Roman and keep it down deep in his soul like he had been for years.   
  
Roman grabbed Finn by the hips pulling him in close, crashing their lips together. Beards scratched against eachother as they intensified the kiss with tongues. Finn's hands ran up and down Roman's bare torso, savoring the feel of those hard muscles and smooth skin.   
  
He gripped onto the large biceps as Roman moved his lips down his neck.   
  
The large tongue licked a trail up from the base of his neck to his ear before the hot mouth took the ear in his mouth.   
  
"Should we pick up from where we left off last time?" Finn panted. His erection was painfully pressing into the tight fabric of his pants and he couldn't wait to take the pants off.   
  
Roman hummed. "It's been a while, so why don't you remind me what we did," Roman whispered into Finn's ear. The deep drawl tickled at Finn's skin, making the Irishman groan.   
  
"Well it started with me stuffing my mouth with your dick."   
  
Roman grinned, pulling his face away to look Finn in those clear water eyes. "I was getting you ready for the winter obviously."   
  
Finn's head went back as he laughed whole-heartedly. "I believe squirrels put nuts in their mouths, not dicks."   
  
Roman ducked his head down to hide his face against Finn's shoulder, his body shaking with laughter. "Nuts. Dick. Either one. You're mouth is so hot.   
  
Finn's kissed the Samoan again, grinning. But his grin dropped into a moan as Roman's hand moved from his hip to palm his hard-on. Roman's other hand caressed his hip, moving up and down slowly, dull finger nails brushing Finn's toned white skin. It set Finn's skin on fire. Finn gasped, pulling his mouth away from Roman's to breathe.   
  
Finn was enjoying the feel of Roman's hands on him so much. He wanted to take his time. He wanted to get to know all of Roman. The spots that drove Roman crazy. To taste the hot coffee milk colored skin. He hadn't spent that much time last time because he knew Roman had needed release. Finn wanted to spend the whole night devouring Roman, this time.   
  
But he didn't have the chance when Roman pushed him onto one of the beds, claiming his lips again in passion.   
  
Roman knelt up on the bed, he reached up to his hair and untied the bun. From last times experience he had some idea that Finn liked putting his hands through the shiny locks of black hair. He slipped the hair tie around his wrist before leaning down and pressing open mouth kisses on Finn's chest.   
  
Big strong hands ran down Finn's side and then hooked onto the waist band of Finn's pants. Roman tugged them down, struggling a little. They were stuck to Finn like a second skin. And the Irishman's erection wasn't helping.   
  
Roman slipped a hand underneath the offending fabric and took Finn's hard length in his hand, slipping it out. Finn hissed as the cool hotel room air hit him just right. Roman went back to Finn's pants, having an easier time bringing them down. Finn shimmied his hips off the bed, helping Roman.   
  
"Damn, how did you squeeze yourself into these pants, baby boy?" Roman asked, licking his lips at the sight of Finn's naked body.   
  
Finn's cock twitched and he shivered. A pearl of pre-cum leaked out the swollen head.   
  
Roman's eyes went back to Finn's face. "You like when I call you that?"   
  
Finn nodded. "Fuck yeah."   
  
Roman crawled over Finn's body and kissed Finn's pouty lips, briefly. "Baby boy," he drawled.   
  
Finn's hips bucked up, pushing against Roman's. He groaned at the feel of Roman's jeans rubbing against his hard dick. "Take your pants off."   
  
The assertiveness in Finn's brogue had Roman feel heat rush down his body. He stood off the bed and took the jeans and briefs off as quickly as possible. He rushed back on top of Finn and locked lips with the man again.   
  
Finn's strong legs wrapped around Roman's as they made out. Their naked erections pressed against eachother. Finn couldn't help shifting his hips back and forth to feel the mouth-watering friction.   
  
"So good, baby boy," Roman grunted. "So fucking sexy."   
  
Finn circled his arms around Roman tightly and flipped the position. Roman chuckled, enjoying Finn's eagerness. Finn automatically crawled backwards on the bed and hovered his mouth over Roman's hard thick cock.   
  
Brown eyes were blown with lust as he watched Finn lick his lips like a hungry animal.   
  
Kisses were planted down his length. Then his tongue followed the thick vein back up to the head.   
  
Wet heat surrounded Roman before he could blink. Roman let a string of passionate words of encouragement leave his gaping mouth. It was for sure not a one time thing. Finn's mouth was as good if not better now than it was weeks ago.   
  
What took Roman so long to come back to this?   
  
Better question, how was Finn not taken in a relationship? The man had the type of skill that other people only dreamed of.   
  
Finn's mouth sucked him until he was fully hard. His thick cock was so hard it was falling against his naval, shining with Finn's slick saliva.   
  
"Don't cum yet, Roman," Finn panted. His lips were red and swollen from the last few minutes of blowing Roman. "I don't think I can survive the rest of the night not having you in me."   
  
"Shit," Roman mumbled, loving the words Finn just said. His mind was clouded with pleasure but he was still able to get off the bed and get to his bag. He dug around his suitcase for lube and a box of condoms. He walked back to Finn, his dicks standing straight out as he moved. "Baby boy, there is no way it's just gonna be once today. I'm gonna fuck you so good you'll forget your name."   
  
Finn laid back onto the bed, a wide smile on his handsome face, cheeks flushed. He licked his lips watching Roman climb back on the bed. He put a hand behind his head to prop it up. "Please do. Fuck me until I forget, Roman."   
  
Roman dropped the lube and the condoms on the bed and grabbed Finn by the thighs, pulling him forcefully toward him. Roman put Finn's legs over his shoulder so the corded thighs surrounded his head.   
  
His lips sucked spots on those thighs. He adored these thighs. So enticing. So damn sexy, thick and muscular. Roman would move up the thighs just close enough to Finn's tight balls and hard cock, but he would switch sides and move back down to the knee before Finn could get the satisfaction. His beard scratched the thighs as he worked.   
  
He looked down hearing Finn's needy moan to find the man staring right back at him.   
  
They held eachother gaze for a few seconds more than needed as Roman continued kissing Finn's luscious legs.   
  
Roman sat up, bending Finn's body in half. He dove into the pert ass, spreading his cheeks with one strong grip.   
  
A long breathy moan left Finn's mouth. His knees were hovering over his chest, the pre-cum from his hard length was dripping down his abs, and Finn was a mess as Roman's long wide tongue prodded his hole. He was sure he was whimpering, but he didn't care. This felt so good.   
  
But the anticipation was killing him. He knew his hole was twitching to feel Roman in him.   
  
"Taste so good, baby boy," Roman rumbled against him. He brought Finn's legs down slowly, laying them down on the bed. He took the lube and poured some on his long fingers, listening to Finn's ragged breathing.   
  
Roman circled a digit around the puckered muscle before slipping it in. He laid over Finn kissing the man again. Finn groaned. That hot mouth was just tongue fucking him and now it was in his mouth.   
  
Finn's arms found their place around Roman's shoulders, hands threading in Roman's hair. Another finger was added, playing in him, spreading him out. And then another. They thrusted into him.   
  
In and out.   
  
When Roman's thumb pressed in to his perineum, Finn's hips jolted off the bed. "Roman, fuck. Please."   
  
Roman lifted his head from where he was working a mark on Finn's neck. His long hair created a curtain around their faces. "Please, what?"   
  
Finn growled. "You know what."   
  
Roman smirked, sitting up and taking his fingers from inside Finn's tight heat.   
  
He ripped the metallic wrapper off a condom, spitting it the bit to the side. His brown eyes watched Finn's panting body beneath him as he slid the condom down his shaft.   
  
"Favorite position?" Roman idly asked, making sure the condom was on good. Slicking it with more lube.   
  
Finn's glazed blue eyes gazed at him. He licked his lips. "No preference. You?"   
  
Roman laid his body down on the bed beside Finn with a sultry look in his eyes. "Ride me, baby boy."   
  
"Fuck," the Irishman whispered. He might have been drooling.   
  
Roman grabbed Finn's arm and pulled him close, guiding the smaller man to straddle his hips. Roman lined himself up and he kiss Finn deeply. Then he pushed in slowly. When he was fully in, Finn's head flew back and moaned deeply.   
  
He knew he was grinning, but Finn couldn't help it. Roman was stretching him so good. This was more than he had dreamed of. The man he adored was below him, naked, sweaty, panting, groaning. Finn had wanted to be with Roman for so long. His heart would pound in his chest whenever they passed eachother in the halls. And now his heart was racing as Roman started to thrust into him.   
  
The room filled with low groans and heavy panting. Roman set the pace slow at first until Finn started bouncing on his lap, meeting his thrusts. Skin slapped against skin.   
  
"Fuck yeah," Finn moaned. "Keep going. I'm going to fucking cum."   
  
Roman rolled his hips to angle forward, his lower body lifting off the bed as he continued thrusting into Finn like a rabbit.   
  
Long and low, Finn groaned. His cock pulsed as hot strings of cum shot out, splattering onto Roman's body. His hole tightened as the orgasm took him over. Roman pulled him down and kissed him, swallowing Finn's moans. The Irishman's body shook and twitched unconsciously. Roman found it so hot.   
  
When Finn came down from the high, Roman was still fucking into him. "Fuck, baby boy," Roman said, face flushed and sweaty as he continued a brisk pace. "You came without me even touching your cock."   
  
Finn smirked down at him, his body bouncing with each pump of Roman's hips. "I never came with only my ass. You must be magic, babe."   
  
Roman chuckled. He put a hand behind Finn's head holding the Irishman close to him. Their lips met, slowly moving against eachother to match the slow sensual pace Roman brought his thrusts down to.   
  
Finn started to roll his hips, keeping Roman in him deep, clenching and unclenching his hole. Roman growled against his lips. Finn looked into his brown eyes. "Good?" Finn asked.   
  
"Amazing," Roman replied, voice just above a choked whisper.   
  
Then his hips stuttered, pushing as deep as he could in Finn, pulsing.   
  
His legs gave out on him and he slipped out of Finn's used hole.   
  
Finn rolled off him and both men laid side by side, panting, sweaty, and sated. They were like that for a few minutes, coming down from the good energy flowing through them.   
  
Finn's half-lidded blue hues scanned over his well used body and cringed at the marks on his thighs. He absolutely loved that they were there. It was so attractive. But he knew he's have to figure out how to cover those up. Hopefully, Bayley knew a way that would save him the embarrassment of asking the makeup girls at Raw.   
  
"You need to be careful about where you mark me," Finn said, not at all angry or annoyed. "I'm going to have to cover these up."   
  
Roman turned on his side, looking at Finn's handsome face. He ran a hand across Finn's marked up thigh. "Well, I guess I'll just have to mark you where you're gear covers. Though, that doesn't give me alot of room to work with."   
  
Finn smirked. "Guess so."   
  
Roman's hand gripped Finn's leg and tugged it closer to him, draping the thick leg over his own. He kneading his hand into the hard flesh causing Finn's eyes to flicker.   
  
"You're already up for round two?" Finn gasped. Roman's hand gripped his dick, pumping languidly.   
  
Roman grinned at him despite Finn not able to see him through closed eyes. "It never takes me long."   
  
Finn opened his eyes and grinned back at Roman. "So what are you waiting for?"   
  
He turned his head and caught Roman's lips in his. His lips felt bruised from all the action tonight, but he liked the feeling.   
  
He like feeling Roman beside him, looking at him with those soft brown eyes.   
  
He just wished he had the whole man, heart and soul, as his. But he'll have to deal with just physical.   
  


* * *

  
_Been a longggg while since I've written a full lemon (showing my age here). Hope it was good. I know it was long.  
Wanted to give you guys something good since it's been angst lately.  
Review/comment please.   
  
**Love Natsuki Lee**_


	10. Chapter 10

Roman and Finn stopped after the third time having sex. It was late in the night. Finn was sure he couldn't move. If he had tried to walk he would collapse on wobbly legs.   
  
Roman stood, stretching his sore muscles. He let out a barely audible sigh when his back cracked. He walked to the bathroom and a grabbed towel and wet in under the tap. He came back out and sat on the edge of the bed beside Finn's exhausted body.   
  
Slowly, paying attention to detail, Roman wiped the dried cum from Finn's torso. He moved the towel down to Finn's flaccid cock. Then finished up with cleaning off the residual lube from Finn's ass.   
  
A satisfied sigh escaped Finn's lips at the feeling. Roman was taking such good care of him even though Finn was sure Roman was as spent as he felt.   
  
Roman dropped the towel to the floor beside the bed and scooched Finn over mumbling something about that being his side.   
  
Finn chuckled as he got comfortable on the other side next to Roman, pulling the covers over him. He was happy Roman didn't want to sleep in the other bed. It was comforting.   
  
Two strong arms circled around Finn's body, pulling him flush against Roman's chest. Soft kisses were pressed to his sweaty hair. Finn allowed himself a moment of weakness and pulled one of Roman's hands up to his lips and kissed it tenderly. It was an intimate action usually only shared between lovers, not fuck buddies. But Finn couldn't help wanting to show Roman his love.   
  
He wanted to say. He wanted to tell Roman how much he loved him. He wanted Roman to forget John and find love in his open arms.   
  
But he won't do that.   
  
He won't open himself up for heartbreak when it was so obvious that Roman loved John. It was almost a given that Roman would never want Finn in any way past sexual.   
  
"You gave me a workout, baby boy," Roman muttered into Finn's hair.   
  
Finn smiled. It would look like a normal smile to everyone who saw it. But Finn knew it was sad. Because his heart was aching.   
  
The man he loved had his arms wrapped up around him, laying together after a night of passion. But it still wasn't all Finn wanted.   
  
Roman kissed Finn's head again.   
  
Ocean blue eyes lulled shut at the feeling of those nuzzled kisses. His breathing eventually evened out and he softly snored.   
  
Roman stayed awake for a little while longer thinking over the night.   
  
That had been the best sex he had ever had. And he had slept with a decent amount of people in his life, both men and women. But Finn was something else. It didn't lack even when they were lazily rutting hips against eachother towards the end, bodies sensitive from the previous orgasms.   
  
Finn fit him so well. He was able to keep up with his appetite so well. And the way Finn moaned. It was like Finn had never felt so good in his life. Like Roman was gifting him something from the gods. It was low and deep.   
  
Their time together that night and even their first night messing around had been all good spirits. It wasn't heavy. Both men were able to laugh and joke around. It made Roman so relaxed.   
  
And it had definitely taken Roman's mind away from John Cena.   
  
If Finn Balor could blank his mind like this every time they were together, Roman would never want to let go.   
  
He placed another kiss on Finn's hair before he fell asleep, feeling satisfied.   
  


* * *

  
Roman had the same match in Allentown as he had had in the rest of that weekend. Teaming up with Dean. And like Syracuse, they won the match. Then shared a fist bump backstage, but no words.   
  
And like Friday night, Roman would share a room with Finn.   
  
Sunday night, Roman and Finn collapsed to the bed after Roman had Finn bent over the side. They were panting and sweating.   
  
Finn started laughing.   
  
Roman looked at him with questioning eyes.   
  
"I hope it's not someone we know next door, because I am very sure we were really fucking loud tonight," Finn said, turning his head against the bed spread and looking at Roman with those ocean eyes.   
  
Roman smirked. "Yeah. And at some point you did scream my name."   
  
"Did I?" Finn asked. "Well, I hope they enjoyed the show."   
  
Roman laughed now. "Is that the VIP package they offer at house shows now?"   
  
Finn's body shook as he bellowed. "If so, I'll have to talk to Carrano about not getting my cut of the VIP profits."   
  
Roman sat up, combing his hair out of his face. "Let's go shower, baby boy. I am not going to bed like that again."   
  
Finn gave him a look. "Oh no. You think I can move? I am unable to move," he joked. "Plus if I've learned anything in my life is that showering together will always end up in sex."   
  
Roman raised an eyebrow. "You don't want another round?"   
  
"I never said that," Finn grinned. "But I'm so tired. I have nothing else in me. I came so much this weekend that I'll need a day to recover."   
  
Roman smirked. He leaned down and grabbed Finn in his arms and put him over his shoulder, relishing in the yelp Finn gave. "No sex. I promise. But we need to shower, we stink."   
  
Finn scoffed. "Thanks alot."   
  
Roman laughed as he carried Finn into the bathroom and sat him on the toilet. He turned the shower on, getting the temperature hot, but not scalding. Then he lifted Finn up by the arm.   
  
Finn's legs gave out on him and Roman caught him, holding him close so the Irishman wouldn't fall. "I guess you can't help falling for me."   
  
"Not at all," Finn said, not quite sarcasm.   
  
They showered together, Finn regaining some strength in his legs to hold himself up. Despite being a decent size shower, having two muscular men in it made it seem tiny. Roman grabbed the shampoo and conditioner from his bag on the sink getting to work on his mop of hair.   
  
"Let me help," Finn muttered when he saw Roman was having trouble moving without bumping into the wall or Finn.   
  
Roman rinsed the shampoo and handed him the conditioner. Finn squeezed a handful of the creamy substance in his hand and spread it through Roman's dark hair. He combed his fingers through from scalp to tips.   
  
Roman sighed at the pleasant feeling. "If wrestling doesn't pan out, you could make some serious cash washing hair."   
  
Finn tugged the hair in his hands, pulling Roman's head back a little, snickering at Roman's gasp. "I'll only accept you as a customer."   
  
"Is the hair pulling extra?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
Finn let go of Roman's hair so he could rinse, but instead Roman turned around and kissed Finn. Then he rinsed his hair and shut the shower off.   
  
They toweled themselves off in comfortable silence.   
  
Roman walked out of the bathroom first, going straight for the clean bed and laying down.   
  
Finn looked and wondered if he should follow him or go to bed they had fucked on earlier.   
  
"Come on," Roman waved him over, eyes sleepy. "That one is all messed up."   
  
Finn climbed in beside Roman and was immediately pulled in to the big body.   
  
Roman sighed. "Tomorrow I'll be rooming with Seth so we won't be able to do this."   
  
Finn hummed but said nothing.   
  
"I might have gotten used to this already," Roman admitted.   
  
He refused to answer. He had to remind himself that this was just casual. They had both come to that agreement. No emotions. No strings attached.   
  
But to Finn there was a string.   
  
One red, tied to his little finger. It wound and tangled and stretched. It wouldn't break.   
  
But Finn knew this red string of Fate must be for a different life, a different timeline. Because his love was unrequited.   
  
Roman was soon asleep, snoring. Finn's blue eyes watched him, head laying on the sculpted chest, rising and falling with each breath.   
  
And then Finn pulled away, turned over, and laid at the edge of his side of the bed, unable to handle Roman's touch. It was torture. To feel the thing you could not fully hold.   
  
It had only been a few days, but Finn wasn't sure he could handle being with Roman and not telling him the truth about his feelings.   
  
_Hold off for a little while longer,_ Finn thought to himself as his eyes closed to sleep.   
  


* * *

  
**Monday October 15, 2018**   
  
It was almost time for the show and Seth and Roman couldn't find Dean. Renee couldn't find Dean. He wouldn't answer any texts. To be honest, Roman and Seth were sure he had been arrested at some point between.   
  
Seth and Dean both had matches tonight, but not Roman. But he was sure he'll find something. That's why there standing in the main monitor area, ready to go out if need be.   
  
Seth's face grinned at his phone and he laughed. "Here we go again."   
  
Roman looked at him, eyebrow arched, gripping the title around his shoulder. "What? Anything from Dean?"   
  
"Nope," Seth said, lips twitching down just a bit. "Finn put up something this afternoon. Did you see it?"   
  
That afternoon? Well he saw Finn that morning when he woke up and Finn was already getting dressed. They had shared a short peck on the lips before Finn told him he had to catch up with his ride to Raw. They hadn't talked much. Mornings were always busy anyway.   
  
And Roman had gone to Philly with Titus and Apollo, met with his assistant and got some media done. Then he got to the arena, stretched out, met up with Seth. But he hadn't run into Finn since then.   
  
Roman looked over Seth's shoulder at the phone and a slow smirk tugged at his pouty lips.   
  
It said "Dinner Time" and the picture was of Finn during his ring entrance, the curve of his dick showing through those small black trunks.   
  
Roman licked his lips. His eyes flicked up, looking around for the person he had spent all weekend sleeping with. He spotted him in the front row of seats, beside some others, laughing at something someone said.   
  
Roman took his phone out and texted Finn. _Dinner time? Trying to get me hungry, baby boy?_ Roman looked back up and watched for Finn's reaction   
  
Finn looked at his phone when it buzzed in his hand, grinning. He must have felt his eyes on him because he turned and looked Roman's way. They shared a knowing look and Finn winked.   
  
He didn't realize it but Seth had watched the entire interaction, a face splitting cocky grin on his face. "What was that?"   
  
Roman tried his best for innocent eyes, but he knew Seth wasn't buying it. Trying to think of a simple way to put this was hard. Roman was obviously going to have to be blunt about this.   
  
"So, I forgot to tell you this earlier," Roman started, whispering so no one else could hear him but Seth. "Me and Finn decided to be fuck buddies."   
  
Seth's eyes went wide. Then he barked his cocky chuckle. "Yes! I knew you'd end up together!"   
  
Roman rolled his eyes. "We're just fucking. No strings, Rollins."   
  
"Sure," Seth said, crossing his arms over his shoulders. "Too bad, no strings never works."   
  
Roman made an indecisive face and shrugged. "Working so far."   
  
A deep sigh left Seth as he looked Roman square in the eyes. "Ro, I might be wrong here, really. But I am really sure Finn likes you. Like I can feel it. This no strings thing isn't going to work out in the end if one of you has feelings and the other doesn't."   
  
"He told me he likes someone," Roman responded, honestly not believing Seth had any proof. "It's not me, I guarantee."   
  
"But can you, man?" Seth asked.   
  
He couldn't. Roman couldn't say for sure Finn liked someone else. He only knew what Finn told him. But he wasn't going to press this matter. Both he and Finn agreed to just being friends with benefits to help Roman (and possibly Finn) get away from their unrequited love.   
  
Roman left the conversation at that, leaving Seth's question in the air.   
  
The show started with Braun and his dogs coming out to the ring. They talked their shit about how they beat the Shield. Like the Shield hadn't been beat before. Visible eye roll from Roman as he watch the monitor. Big deal. So they Shield had a bad night. It fucking happens   
  
But then Roman bristled when Dolph showed the clip of Dean losing last week and walking out on him and Seth. And then the interviews, who's words had stopped Roman from sleeping almost all week.   
  
Well until the weekend. Tiring himself out with Finn made him fall asleep so much easier. And having someone to cuddle into during the night really felt good. Been a while.   
  
Roman shook the thoughts from his head.   
  
Drew said that the Shield had a selfish agenda. That Seth and Roman only thought about themselves. That they had no need or use for Dean.   
  
Anger boiled in Roman. He hated these bastards for lighting a fire under Dean that hadn't needed to be lit. They kept fucking talking about things they didn't understand. They were brothers. They were family. Fuck Braun and his little bitches.   
  
"Finally, Dean Ambrose's eyes have been opened and finally the Shield has been shattered."   
  
Seth looked at Roman and nodded his head toward Gorilla. Roman held his hand out to wait. He wanted to hear a bit more. See where this was going.   
  
Braun talked about how without the Shield by his side, Roman was going to get his hands and that Braun would win the Universal Championship.   
  
Roman's jaw ticked.   
  
He pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning on and started walking to the Gorilla, Seth following. He didn't care to hear the rest.   
  
Their music was cued the second they got near the tech and they walked out, just Seth and Roman. No Dean.   
  
And everyone but Roman and Seth knew that wasn't good.   
  
They didn't want to believe the problems were there no matter how many hours of sleep they lost from the idea.   
  
Seth spoke first. "We're not shattered," he said. "We're not broken. We are alive and well."   
  
Dolph wouldn't let it go though. "Ladies and gentlemen, 2/3 of the Shield. Where's your brother?"   
  
Jaw ticking, Roman listened as Dolph kept going. He insinuated that Seth and Roman didn't care about Dean. Didn't care about where he was. Which was a blatant lie. His constant unreplied texts proved that.   
  
"Shut up," Seth sneered. He told whoever cared to listen that they knew Dean well and that Dean was going to show up on his own time. Ambrose time, Seth told them. It was a thing. "Bottom line, Ambrose always shows up."   
  
Roman put the mic to his lips and the crowd booed. He held back the annoyance from his face. Always the boos. Some days it hurt. Some days it pissed him off. Other days he didn't care. He was paid regardless. He told Braun that after Crown Jewel, Braun would be going to the back of the line.   
  
Seth then looked at Drew and grinned. He wanted to start his match now. And by the look of it, Drew wanted the same.   
  


* * *

  
Roman, Seth, and Dean walked down the hallway after Seth's win. Dean had showed up at just the right moment. He had shown up to help his brother Seth. And it put Roman at ease.   
  
Seth was laughing. He was relaxed and happy that Dean was standing beside them after last week's actions.   
  
Roman zoned out just a little, enjoying the simple energy of this moment. It had been weeks since he felt this vibe with his brothers, calm and proud. But then, like it was in slow motion, Roman saw Dean's face fall from his smile to angry and hard. Roman's brow furrowed. What the hell just happened?   
  
"That's all I am to you guys right?" Dean rumbled in his hoarse voice. "I'm good for a few laughs, right? Until I gotta bail you out."   
  
Woah. What the fuck?   
  
Seth's eyes went wide with confusion, like a deer caught in headlights. "I didn't mean it like that."   
  
Dean's jaw clenched. "Don't worry. I got my own match to worry about."   
  
Roman tried to calm the situation by telling Dean to chill out. But in hindsight, that probably didn't help.   
  
Seth opened his mouth an apology tumbling out, but he was still confused and it was written all over his bearded face.   
  
The two champions watched as Dean huffed, walking away from them. Jesus Christ. One second they were fine the next they were trying to figure out what was going on with Dean. It wasn't like Dean even talked to them about it. He left them wondering. He left them afraid to even talk to him. Because if they said the wrong thing, the short haired man would run off.   
  
"What did you say?" Roman asked quietly.   
  
"I said he was on lunatic time."   
  
The cameras cut off and started to walk away. Roman sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, the championship strap hanging from his hand. "He's upset. Something's bothering him."   
  
Seth bristled, his body tensing with held back anger. His big brown eyes narrowed and his lips formed a hard line. He huffed harshly from his nose, putting his hands on his hips. "So you don't think I'm upset?"   
  
Shit, now Roman had another angry brother to babysit. He could feel Seth's anger rolling off his toned body and it was seeping through Roman's skin, making him upset too. He knew what Seth was feeling. It was what he had been feeling for weeks now.   
  
"I've been trying to keep my cool, Ro," Seth fumed. "I have. But this is starting to get me fucking pissed off. Is he with us or against us? If he wants to leave, he should fucking leave instead of standing by our side like it's a fucking obligation."   
  
Anxiety pressed at Roman's temples, forming a headache. Despite that, Roman nodded. Because he understood. Seth was right. Dean was acting like it was a requirement that he be there to save them every Monday for Raw, weekends for houseshows, and Sundays for PPVs. But it wasn't and if Dean wanted to go, he should go. It was exactly what Roman told Dean weeks ago. But Dean hadn't made a choice on whether or not he was leaving the Shield. Or at least if he did, the tawny haired man hadn't told them.   
  
Seth looked away from Roman now. Those big brown eyes focused on his boots like they were the most interesting thing at the moment. "I feel like it's 2014 all over again."   
  
Roman gave Seth a wary look, like he was expecting the thinner man to backstab him again.   
  
"These are the same things I was feeling when you and him kept fighting. Remember?"   
  
Roman remembered. For months, Roman and Dean had many differences. They bickered and argued. It was Seth who would have to act like the big brother and stop them from walking away. In fact, Roman and Dean weren't even close until Seth took a chair to his back that day in June 2014. Roman guessed, that was the silver lining.   
  
Seth continued, voice straining with emotion. "I remember. I remember both of you almost leaving the Shield because you kept fighting. I had to leave before I got left. I couldn't stand the idea of being left in the dirt. And now look. Here we are again."   
  
Roman stared at Seth, his face revealing his worry.   
  
Seth looked back up at the big dog, his frown deep. "He wants to be lone wolf this time, that's fine, because I am not leaving again. I apologized already. I paid my dues."   
  
Ah.   
  
This was deeper then the sadness Roman felt. Because Roman didn't feel any valid guilt. Roman had never actually betrayed Dean's trust.   
  
But Seth had 4 years ago.   
  
And Seth was right he had apologized. Several times. On and off camera. But Roman can see it on Seth's pretty boy face that the architect of the Shield was feeling like Dean's attitude problem lately was his fault.   
  
Seth was blaming himself.   
  
Roman uncrossed his arms, his shoulders sagged and he gave Seth a serious but gentle look. "His bullshit lately isn't my fault. It isn't your fault. It's not Renee's fault. It's not the fans fault. It's all on him. He's the one feeling whatever the fuck he is feeling.   
  
"Look, I'll talk to him," Roman continued, sighing. "Just try to behave. I know you're mad. I'm mad too. But we've known him long enough. We've known that something was wrong for a while. He came back angry and hungry. And instead of a title, he's out there saving out asses each night. How would you feel if you came back and stood at the bottom of the ladder?"   
  
It was only as Roman said those words did he understand the whole thing himself. He had to say it out loud to truly comprehend Dean's anger.   
  
Seth threw his hands up in the air and rolled his eyes dramatically. "Fine. Fuck! I'm going to watch the show. See you later."   
  


* * *

  
Seth grumbled as he took his spot in the back of the main monitor area. He watched the show without actually watching it. Eyes losing focus to his thoughts.   
  
When he heard a specific theme come on screen he refocused.   
  
The beautiful Nikki Bella and he equally lovely -but not really Seth's cup of tea- twin sister walked on stage. They held matching mocking smirks.   
  
The promo was cut between the twins and their very recent fake bff. Seth really didn't care about Ronda. She was around. She pulled in viewers. But Seth looked at her like he looked at all celebrities who stepped in the ring with the minimum ring experience. He looked at her with caution. Plus, Seth didn't like homophobes and he had heard that the the former UFC fighter had made some shitty remarks about a trans woman. And that colored Seth's opinion. He would play his part on camera and talk well of the blonde woman, but he was just doing his job.   
  
He also didn't really care about her because he had a total crush on Nikki.   
  
The enemy of the woman you like is your enemy.   
  
That's obviously not how the saying goes, but either way.   
  
A cringe tugged at Seth Rollin's handsome features when he heard the remark Ronda made against Nikki about sleeping her way to top then getting kicked out by John.   
  
Poor Nikki. That must hurt. Seth felt his heart ache for her.   
  
What a fucking low blow. And super sexist, Seth thought. Way to bring women down by upholding that stereotype that they needed to sleep with the brass in order to make it in wrestling. Fucking horrible. Nikki had been with John for what? Six years? And during some of that time, she wasn't even in the business. And the curvy Bella twin had worked extra hard to become better. She had come into the company during the dark times of WWE's diva's division, but never let that stop her.   
  
Seth actually felt proud of Nikki for working hard to ignore the hatred some fans -and apparently coworkers- sent her way.   
  
Seth could see Nikki's full red lips pout in the way he secretly loved. He wanted to kiss that pout, but instead watched as the former Diva's champion pulled back her emotions and continued her segment.   
  
When they were off screen, Seth made a note to talk to Nikki later. See how she was doing. Make sure she was okay.   
  
He couldn't stand to know that Nikki Bella would be hurting over John Cena again.   
  
It made him want to hold her and never let go. Protect her from the big bad world. Not because he didn't think she could handle it herself, but because he wanted to stop her pain.   
  


* * *

  
They had to be kidding Roman.   
  
He had talked to Seth, told the man to behave. And had been. Seth had gone to help his brother in his match against Dolph.   
  
Out of all people, that jerk.   
  
But then everything went wrong. And Dean ended up losing. Not because Seth had helped, but because Dean hadn't trusted him enough to take care of Drew's interference alone.   
  
Roman watched with panic in his naturally brown eyes when Dean had pushed Seth out of the way when Seth tried to help him up, only to enter the ring, get pinned and lose.   
  
Seth entered the ring and looked at Dean, slowly walking towards him. Seth's hands were on his hips, face pensive and serious. They stood face to face.   
  
"What's your problem with me?" Seth snapped.   
  
Dean shoved his shoulder into Seth as he stormed by, ducking out of the ring.   
  
Seth stood there for a few second, trying to hold in his frustration. Roman could see it in the way Seth was holding himself. Like an annoyed older sibling getting blamed for something he didn't do.   
  
The second he saw Seth exit the ring and go after Dean, Roman ran. He ran to the Gorilla Position and pushed through the curtain, just in time to put himself between two seething men. He had caught them shoving at eachother, Seth screaming "What is your problem with me?"   
  
Both men looked at Roman like he was a traitor. And they both asked him, voices dripping with displeasure "You're on his side?"   
  
Roman growled, holding each man back. "I'm on both your sides!"   
  
And then music played and Roman was sure this couldn't get any worse.   
  
But whenever Baron Corbin was around, misfortune for Roman was bound to follow.   
  
Lo and behold. Baron lived up to his reputation. He had set up a match with the Shield versus Braun Strowman and his lackies. Of course he did. Of course he decided to take these three men and test their allegiance to one another by making them team up, even though two out of three of those men had already competed. Asshole.   
  
If looks could kill, Baron would be dust. He would be buried next to Katie Vick's body. Roman glared at him with so much intensity.   
  
One day, Baron wouldn't be the substitute teacher version of a General Manager and Roman would wrap his hands around his neck.   
  
Dean had walked off while Roman planned Baron Corbin's murder. He was going to have to find him and talk to him. He needed to make sure Dean wasn't going to punch Seth for no reason. He had too.   
  
Roman was tired. He wished Dean would make up his mind.   
  
Was he part of the Shield or not?   
  
Dean wasn't obligated to give up his championship dreams just for his brothers. But Roman was sure Dean didn't understand that.   
  


* * *

  
Roman sat backstage after the main event. He sported a tiny smile. He'd like to say that he and his brother's had planned every bit of Drew McIntyre's actions in the ring at the end of the show, but they were as surprised (and entertained) as the fans.   
  
Of course, Roman had nearly lost his shit in the ring when he saw Dean and Seth start fighting again, this time over Seth being pushed into Dean. Dean had held up 6 fingers, reminding that Seth and Dean had known eachother for about 6 years before he took Seth and set him up in the Dirty Deeds.   
  
But Ziggler had interupted, thank God.   
  
They had eventually finished the match, with them triple powerbombing Dolph, and Dean covering him for the win.   
  
And Roman thought fondly of how they had celebrated. Seth ran at Dean with a hug before Roman had pulled both men in and held them close. They had been sweaty and probably smelled, but that didn't make any difference to Roman.   
  
Roman knew that the hug wasn't the end of this bullshit back and forth with Dean, but it was something to make Roman forget for a little while.   
  
Before Roman could bask in the good feelings, he saw Dean grab his stuff and head for the door without Roman or Seth. Dean waved a hand over his shoulder. "See you at Friday's show," he mumbled.   
  
Then he was gone.   
  
Roman was tired.   
  
He was tired of the bullshit. So tired that it filled him with anger.   
  
Good news, at least he wasn't thinking about his feelings for John Cena.   
  


* * *

  
Roman had an early flight the next morning so he was hoping for some sleep. Especially after the stress from that night. This was never ending. It felt like he was questioning Dean's loyalties every damn week. It was honestly becoming ridiculous now.   
  
Renee had left for her drive to Smackdown after the show, so Roman knew Dean wasn't with her. He just assumed he got a solo room or he took a late night flight back home.   
  
Anger boiled in his veins. He wanted to hit sometone. Particularly hard. Or something.   
  
He just wanted to get all of this out.   
  
He wondered if Finn was around.   
  
Roman glanced over at Seth who was watching TV idly. Or really the TV was watching him since he wasn't really paying attention. Probably thinking about Dean, too. And maybe they should talk about this, but Roman wasn't in the mood for talking. And he was pretty sure, neither was Seth.   
  
Roman lit up the phone in his hand and brought up Finn's name. "You around baby boy?" he texted quickly.   
  
A minute passed where Roman waited, staring at his phone.   
  
_Already? And here I thought you'd at least hold out a week before the addiction kicked in =p_   
  
Roman scoffed a laugh. "Just hungry for Dinner ;p"   
  
Emojis. Boy Roman felt like a teenager again.   
  
_Restaurant room 532. Reservation for 2. Bring appetite._   
  
Roman rolled his eyes, but he was smirking either way.   
  
He heard an exaggerated sigh from the bed next to his. He looked at Seth, who despite trying his best to look annoyed, was holding back a grin. "Could you not sext your boyfriend when you're rooming with me."   
  
Roman winked at Seth, laughing. "Don't be jealous. Go get yourself some ass, too. Hell. I'll even give you the room for the night so you can bring any trick up that you want."   
  
Seth pouted like a child. "Can it be two tricks?"   
  
"It can be as many tricks as you want Rollins, just make sure to wrap it up and there are no hidden cameras around."   
  
Seth barked a laugh. "Ditto, big dog. Don't get blackmailed, okay?"   
  
Roman rumbled a duh before standing and grabbing his bags. He held the bags with one hand and extended the other hand to Seth as a fist. Seth bumped his fist with Roman's and watched the man leave the room.   
  
"See you Friday," Roman called back over his shoulder.   
  
Seth shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. He pulled the covers over him, turned out the light and let the TV sound lull his occupied mind to a restless sleep.   
  
Roman took the elevator to the floor below him, careful not to be seen by anyone, coworker or not. He barely knocked on the door when it flew open and Finn pulled him in, slamming the door behind them.   
  
Roman chuckled against Finn's hungry lips. "Hello to you too, baby boy."   
  
Finn smiled at him, taking his shirt off.   
  
"In a hurry?" Roman asked, amusement in his voice, watching Finn slip out of his sweat pants. No underwear again. He licked his lips.   
  
Finn was hard, his cock standing straight out. A drop of pre-cum seeped out of the hole, reflecting the light.   
  
Finn tilted his head to the side and grabbed at Roman's shirt hem. "Maybe I'm the one who's addicted?" Finn confessed, voice heavy with lust. "I've been thinking about you're big dick all day, if you couldn't tell."   
  
He could only hum, eyes raking over Finn's delicious body.   
  
Finn pulled Roman shirt over his head then shoved his hands down Roman's pajama bottoms, rubbing his hands over the Samoan's hips.   
  
Roman put a finger under Finn's chin and tilted the head up for Roman to catch those lips with his. He sucked on the bottom lip softly, before slowly sliding his tongue in. He savored Finn's taste and enjoyed the way Finn's body relaxed against his as the Irishman moaned.   
  
"Take it slow," Roman mumbled against Finn's lips when he pulled just a fraction of an inch away, looking into Finn's blue eyes. "I'm not going anywhere." Roman slid his hands down Finn's back, feeling the muscles under that smooth slightly tan skin.   
  
Finn moaned and backed up. "You are very gentle," Finn said, smiling. "And I like that alot, believe me. But I know you're stressed and angry. I can see it in the way you hold yourself. How about tonight, you let your aggression out on me."   
  
Roman smirked, kicking off his Addidas sandals. "Yeah? How?"   
  
"Use me."   
  
Roman looked at him, taking a step forward to the smaller man. He untied his hair, putting the black band around his wrist. It hid against the lines of his tattoo. Roman stopped right in front of Finn.   
  
"What do you think I should do?" Roman asked, low and quiet like an animal growling at his prey.   
  
Finn's cock twitched and he muttered a swear under his breath. More pre leaked out and it dribbled off the round head, stringing down towards the floor.   
  
Roman grinned. It looked a little feral since his eyes were narrowed and looking down at Finn's exposed body. Roman was enjoying the need he saw in Finn. It turned him on to know that he was turned on by Roman.   
  
Roman leaned down and kissed Finn, still gentle and slow.   
  
Finn gasped for air as he pulled his face away. He looked at Roman's eyes and whispered his reply. "Fuck me like I'm nothing to you but a good cum."   
  
Roman smirked, some playfulness to it. "So no difference then usual?"   
  
Finn's mouth dropped. "Wowww. Okay." Finn started to walk away, obviously understanding Roman's joke. But it did sting him in his deepest emotions. He pushed those back. He reminded himself that this wasn't about him.   
  
Roman grabbed Finn by the wrist and pulled him back against his body. He then took Finn's shoulders in a bruising grip and and slammed him against the wall roughly. The force rattled the small picture frame above their heads. Roman leaned down and took Finn's bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it towards him.   
  
Finn's eyes were big. A flicker of something passed through them that Roman didn't recognize, but didn't really care. Finn wanted Roman to use him. So Roman would.   
  
Roman grabbed Finn's hips, finger nails digging in slightly and practically tossed Finn on the bed. The bigger man pinned Finn to the bed with his bigger body. He reached over and grabbed a condom and lube from the nightstand next to the bed that Finn was nice enough to bring out before he showed up.   
  
He tore his pants down his thighs, put the condom on, poured lube on and before Finn could even process how fast Roman was going, he was thrusting into Finn.   
  
Finn yelped in surprised but it transformed from a high pitched shock to a low and long groan in pleasure. He felt full. It hurt a little, but nothing torn for sure.   
  
Roman grunted and snarled. "Shit. Look at you taking all of me in one shot like that. Damn baby boy. What a hungry hole."   
  
Finn covered his face with his hands trying to cover the heat coloring his cheeks. Roman's words did things to him.   
  
This animalistic side of Roman did things to Finn. He loved gentle Roman so much. It was sexy and perfect. But he wouldn't mind hearing Roman's dirty mouth every so often either.   
  
"Hold onto the headboard," Roman ordered.   
  
Finn's hands flew over his head and gripped the dark wood, knuckles turning white. He couldn't have obeyed the order any faster.   
  
Roman held himself up with one arm. With the other hand he grabbed hold of Finn's jaw tightly. The dark stiff hairs scruffed into his palm. He pulled Finn's face so that Finn was looking directly at his eyes. "If at any point this is too much you need to tell me."   
  
Finn tried his best to nod but to no avail. "I will."   
  
He expected Roman to let go of his face once he got his answer, but instead Roman held on tighter.   
  
Roman crashed his lips into Finn's. Teeth and tongue knocked into eachother.   
  
While they kissed Roman had pulled himself all the way out.   
  
He let go of Finn's jaw. He straightened up, dripped some more lube on his covered cock before taking Finn's legs in his brusing grip. He pushed the legs back against Finn's body.   
  
Then he slammed back in, to Finn's delight.   
  
Roman pumped into Finn in a harsh speed. They were long and powerful thrusts. His hips smacked into Finn's ass. Finn's body jolted up with each time Roman's thick cock slammed into him.   
  
It felt so good, Finn could only mutter the word fuck and yes.   
  
Roman growled, voice thick and filled with lust. He pulled out of Finn again and ordered him on his knees.   
  
Finn pried his fingers from the headboard and quickly turned over onto his knees. His head was pushed into the mattress making his back curve and his hips prop up higher.   
  
Long fingers gripped Finn's hips again and he was filled with Roman's more.   
  
Roman fucked Finn like a jack rabbit. The Samoan's hips were snapping into him. Roman shifted and reangled his thrusts.   
  
Drool pooled and seeped into the blanket where Finn's face was smushed into. He could close his mouth he was moaning so much. His eyes nearly rolled all the way back when Roman brushed against the smooth skin of his prostate.   
  
"There it is," Roman grumbled, keeping his hips snapping in that direction.   
  
The feeling was so intense, Finn was mewling into the drool soaked blanket.   
  
Roman slapped his open hand on Finn's ass, enjoying the jiggle it responded with. So good. The sweat was running down his back. His long dark hair fell in his face as he leaned forward to scrape his teeth against Finn's shoulder. He had to throw his head back so the strands would get out of the way. He wanted to see Finn come undone below him.   
  
"Oh shit," Finn moaned. He reached his hand back and tapped out on Roman's body. He was going to blow. He couldn't stop himself. "Oh shit. Roman. Fuck. Stop. I'm cumming oh fuck."   
  
Roman pulled out when he heard Finn say stop. He sat back in time to see Finn's body jerk, thighs quivering to keep his ass up in the air. And that tight hole was twitching and clenching without Roman in it. The sight was one to behold. Finn's dick was trapped underneath his toned body, but Roman could tell it was pulsing as it shot heavy against the bed.   
  
Finn let out a stuttering breath and a low groan before his body collapsed on the bed.   
  
Roman ran one hand over Finn's still quivering thigh, feeling the tiny stubble against his fingers. Finn was still moaning, feeling the aftershocks of pleasure flash through his used body. His free hand took the condom off and jerked himself off, watching Finn's body come down from the orgasm.   
  
Finn opened his eyes and looked back at Roman jerking himself off vigorously.   
  
"So hot," Roman mumbled, sliding his the hand that was rubbing Finn's thigh higher and higher until his fingers could slide up Finn's crack. He slid his fingers in and let his thumb slip into the twitching open hole. He rubbed the thumb in and out, eliciting a soft groan from Finn. "Yeah. So good."   
  
Roman look up and gave Finn a steady look, admiring the flushed and sweaty face, the reddened lips, and the lazy blue gaze.   
  
A growl started deep in his chest. The cum ran down his pumping fist, coating his fingers.   
  
Roman laid out at the foot of the bed, staring still at Finn.   
  
They looked at eachother with exhausted eyes. It made a heat creep over Finn's body again. That had been so intense. His orgasm had practically jumped out like an explosion. Finn could feel the warm cum on his abs, sticking him to the bed. But all he could do was look at Roman.   
  
This man never ceased to amaze him. A hard worker. A gentle soul who loved to laugh. A loving person who took care of his family, Shield and otherwise. And he was amazing in bed, giving Finn everything he could ever imagine. He was desperately in love with Roman.   
  
Finn turned his head and hid his face in the bed covers. He whispered his feelings, knowing Roman couldn't hear him.   
  
Roman moved first. He wanted to cuddle. He liked to cuddle. It's why he did it after fucking Finn all weekend. It felt so good to hold Finn's spent body against him as they slept.   
  
So he crawled up to Finn's side, planting kisses along Finn's back. Because it felt right, at the moment.   
  
Then he collapsed down to the bed, circled his arm around his...   
  
His? His fuck buddy? His lover? His Finn.   
  
Whatever.   
  
Roman was too sated to really care about the train of thought he just had.   
  
He turned Finn into him, letting their chests press together. Then he slung his arm around Finn's hip and closed his eyes.   
  
Finn smiled. He kissed Roman's full lips and settled into the warm embrace.   
  
"Thank you," Roman mumbled into the pillow below his head. "For knowing what I needed."   
  
Finn didn't say anything, just planting another kiss, this one long and filled with his emotions.   
  


* * *

  
**Phew! it's taking me a long time to write because of work. No John here, but he'll be back soon lol.  
  
Love Natsuki Lee**


	11. Chapter 11

So obviously I'm going off script from now on. Roman's announcement on Raw was a complete shock. And I send my prayers to him and his family. My heart aches for him. But I cannot will myself to talk about that in this story. I cannot do that. It's way too personal. It's way too real life for this story. And it would be horrific and disgusting to use his cancer as a plot point.   
God. I'm crying as I write this.   
This story will continue until I feel like it's finished. I've had an idea about where I want to end it anyway, and I guess this is where I go and do my job as a writer and continue to tell a story despite the sadness of real life.   
I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm apologizing. But I am. I just think about Roman, Seth, and Dean hugging and their emotions and Renee and Corey's voices as they talked about it. God.   
Be strong Roman fans. This is a truly hard time for this community. But let's keep strong for our Superman.   
Let's move on. Let's keep going. I love you all.   
  


* * *

  
  
  
**October 22, 2018**   
  
Roman had the weekend off. It felt fantastic. To have a weekend off in a while. No houseshows or media. Just time with his family. Cooking good food. Getting some extra Zs. And he was able to spend good time with his daughter, which always left him at ease.   
  
But now he was back on the road. Well the air. He was taking the flight to Providence, RI. First class, plenty of space to himself. Plenty of leg room.   
  
As he sat down in his seat, he pressed play on his phone and let the music blare in his headphones. A large yawn ripped from his mouth. He wasn't tired. But he could always use a nap. So that's what he settled in to do.   
  
He closed his eyes, slouched down in the seat and let the 90s r &b playlist lull him into his thoughts.   
  
Last Monday had been another Raw from hell. Too much drama. He thought as the father of a young daughter he knew drama. He thought he was prepared for drama. But apparently there ain't no drama like Dean Ambrose drama.   
  
He was hoping this week with Seth and Dean spending time together at the houseshows they would have worked everything out. Well, Roman hadn't heard about any obituaries for his brothers, so that had to be a good sign. ...Hopefully. Probably not   
  
Roman was sure that this wasn't going to blow over. In fact he was very sure that Dean was going to leave the Shield.   
  
And the more he thought about it, the more Roman thinks Dean was blaming Seth. Not him. they were okay. But definitely Seth. Dean was hostile to Seth. Dean was snapping at Seth. Dean hated Seth.   
  
Dean must have been so lonely during his 9 month injury. He must have dug through the deepest darkest thoughts. Roman was sure Dean had thought about all of those emotions (anger, rage, resentment, revenge) from 2014. And Roman knew that Dean hadn't finished that fight with Seth. He had gotten distracted by Bray Wyatt and then all 3 had moved on until they found eachother again.   
  
Roman understood Dean. He understood Dean's feelings. He didn't want to. Roman didn't want Dean to feel those feelings again about Seth. But he did. And that made it harder.   
  
The phone in his lap vibrated and he groaned not wanting to be bothered. But he was also grateful at being taken away from those horrible thoughts.   
  
Text message from Finn.   
  
Roman smiled at the screen.   
  
Such good timing.   
  
Roman was starting to be very convinced that Finn had an actual Demon. His amazing timing was out of this world.   
  
He opened the text to find a simple "Hey" he responded the same.   
  
Roman kept his brown eyes open and trained on the phone, watching there dots flicker to signify Finn was typing.   
  
It took a few moments but Roman's phone vibrated as the the messaged popped up.   
  
"I missed you this weekend."   
  
"Oh yeah?" Roman replied with a smirk.   
  
The next message came quick. But it wasn't a text message. It was a picture. A picture that made Roman's eyes go wide and he quickly turned his phone into his lap just in case anyone was looking. Roman looked around, eyes scanning the area around him for sneaky looks and nosy stewardesses. When he was sure no one was watching, he took a deep breath and turned the phone back up to take another long look.   
  
He licked his lips.   
  
The picture was of Finn's hard cock laying against black gym shorts. A drop of pre-cum at the tip.   
  
Roman could feel his own dick start to twitch in arousal. Finn was trying to kill him. He was on a plane dammit.   
  
If Finn was right in front of him he would have growled a warning. What a tease. Finn was such a damn tease.   
  
"Baby boy" First text.   
  
"You can't tease me like this" Second text.   
  
"I'm on a plane surrounded by people." Third text.   
  
Roman had a feeling that Finn was laughing at his response.   
  
Another buzz. "But I like teasing you. It usually means I get something very very good in return."   
  
Then another. "That's how I got your attention many times if I'm thinking correctly."   
  
Well. He wasn't wrong. Finn was very right. Those teasing flashes of skin are what caught Roman's eyes for weeks. Smart. Such a smart man. Devious, but smart.   
  
Another buzz. And another twitch from Roman's dick.   
  
A new picture. Finn's cock starting to soften, strings of cum splattered on the black shorts.   
  
Roman covered his screen with his hand as he leaned his head back and gulped. He looked around again then went back to responding. God, he was so happy this plane had wifi so he could get his messages.   
  
"Damn. Texting full sentences and jerking off at the same time. That's talent. I'm impressed."   
  
"Oh wait until you find out that I didn't just jerk off."   
  
Another lick of his lips. Roman was in trouble. He was hard, now.   
  
"Were you playing with that sexy ass, too? Getting it ready for me?"   
  
"It's always ready for you," Finn replied quickly.   
  
Roman held back a moan. "It better be. I'll see you in a few hours."   
  
He had to end it here, if it kept going he would be too hard to will the erection away.   
  
His tone must have been final, because Finn didn't respond. Roman quickly deleted the pictures even though he wanted to keep them. He knew how easy it was to hack phones lately and he didn't need to be caught with those pictures. Actually, now that he thought about it, he should delete all the messages. They were extremely incriminating.   
  
Roman let his head fall back against the seat again and close his eyes. A smirk pulled at his full lips.   
  
a Finn had taken his mind off the problems of his life again. He was extremely grateful. And he would show that to Finn tonight.   
  


* * *

  
Roman didn't get to see Finn until maybe an hour before the show would start. They passed eachother in the halls. They couldn't talk though, Roman was on his way with a roadie to find Seth and Dean.   
  
He didn't expect them to be together, but he was pleasantly surprised that they were.   
  
But the pleasant feeling went away when he saw how they were across the room from eachother. Dean looking at a wall, eyes hard, jaw clenched tight. And Seth was looking at Dean. Those big deer brown eyes filled with guilt and sadness.   
  
When both men noticed Roman walk in, Dean looked up and Seth looked down. Completely different reactions but both were laced with emotions Roman wished he understood. He cleared his throat in a vain attempt to clear the tension from the room. He even tried a small smile. Nothing.   
  
Nothing could take out the horrible feeling circulating in the room. Dean of anger. Seth of hurt and guilt.   
  
Roman's words must have done nothing to help last week. Seth still felt like all of this- all of Dean's behaviour- was his fault. And the more Roman stood awkwardly between them he might just believe it.   
  
Finally, Seth's eyes wavered up to meet Roman's. "You talk to the roadie?"   
  
Roman glanced to the side only to see that the roadie who had walked him over had left. Probably trying to hide from the tension. Roman sighed. "No. What's the plan today?"   
  
"Since Braun and Drew had a falling out last week, they don't need us going out there to face all of them. But they want me and Dean to go for the tag championships."   
  
He nodded. Made sense. Trouble in the waters of team jerk-offs would be beneficial for the Shield boys. "Well then I'll be at ring side. Gotta be there when my boys win the tag team championships tonight."   
  
A flicker of a sad smile sketches itself on Seth's face. But it's fleeting. The look of happiness in his eyes flashes in and out. The idea of more gold around his waist couldn't even bring out good emotions in Seth. It was then that Roman knew there was something here he could not fix.   
  
Dean and Seth were beyond repair. At least from him.   
  
Roman would not be able to take the pieces of his brother's souls and put them back together.   
  
And it hurt Roman more than he ever expected.   
  
He noticed that Dean had more animosity towards Seth. He noticed that when Seth hugged Dean, Dean wouldn't circle his arms. He wouldn't smile at Seth. Anything Seth said would set him off. It wasn't Dolph's words about Roman and Seth not needing Dean that had made Dean get this way. No. It was Drew's words. It was Drew who reminded Dean that Seth had betrayed Dean once before. And it had opened back up the feelings of 2014 all over again.   
  
But instead of Seth's greed for glory pulling him away, it was Dean's need for love and approval that was tearing them apart.   
  
Roman felt a knot in his throat but he swallowed it away. This was it. He knew it. If they lost tonight it would be the straw that broke the camel's back and his brother's would be lost forever.   
  
Dean moved from his spot against the wall to his left. He walked towards Roman, blue eyes glossy but dark as they looked at Roman. Then Dean grabbed Roman by the back of the head, pulled him close and planted a soft kiss on Roman's hair. Dean whispered in his ear, quiet and raspy. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you. My demons got the best of me. I've been holding back for way too long."   
  
Then Dean pulled away and walked out the door behind Roman.   
  
With Dean out of the room, Roman expected the tension to dissipate just a little, but it only intensified. Seth must have heard it all. Because his face was pained.   
  
Seth sighed, it quivered like he was scared to speak. "We talked about it already. Well he talked and I listened. Whatever is between me and Dean has to be settled. And it'll happen one way or another."   
  
"And you're okay with that?" His tone was disbelief.   
  
Seth nodded. "Yeah. It's okay."   
  
Roman took a step forward, but stopped when Seth shook his head.   
  
Seth smiled in the most pathetic way Roman has ever seen on the man. "It's not. I'm not. But I'd rather he fight me to get back to the Dean we know then to fight someone else and get worse."   
  
Roman stayed with Seth until the main event match. The thought of finding Finn taking a back seat to being a big brother to Seth.   
  


* * *

  
Roman had a feeling that Braun was going to interrupt this match for the tag titles, especially now that Drew had kicked Braun down from behind during Braun's promo about Crown Jewel. Roman knew Braun wasn't going to just take a kick from the Scot and leave it at that. The problem was how was it going to affect the match for his shield brothers?   
  
The matched had been going steady so far, but Roman could sense the potential doom lingering over their heads like a rain cloud.   
  
It was looking kind of bad for Seth and Dean. Seth was getting man handled in the ring by Drew and he was looking drowsy.   
  
Then Braun came out.   
  
Braun charged towards the ring, staring directly at Drew, eyes prepared for murder.   
  
It distracted Drew (and Dolph) enough for Seth to get the tag.   
  
But it looked like Braun wasn't going to stand and wait for the match to finish, he was going to get involved. And that would make Dean and Seth lose the match! Roman was not going to let that happen.   
  
So Roman walked over the Braun and pulled the larger man to face the him. But Braun punched him hard and Roman went down.   
  
When Roman came back to, the Shield's music was playing. He gave a sigh of relief. He watched as Dean and Seth celebrated their win. Roman let the good feeling of relief wash over him. Thank God. They needed this win.   
  
And then, like a horror movie playing out in front of his eyes, Dean dropped the championship strap, turned and grabbed Seth and executed the Dirty Deeds. On top of Seth's dropped championships. Dean looked so conflicted. Like he had no clue what he was doing.   
  
Roman could hear Seth's voice, broken, saying "it's okay" over and over again.   
  
He slowly got to his feet hoping that Dean was done, but when he looked up he saw Dean pummeling into Seth. He watched as Seth grabbed Dean's face and looked the short haired man in the eye. But Dean was far from done.   
  
Roman couldn't move from where he watched. He was frozen in place watching Dean throw Seth into the time keeper's corner and throw the tag titles in Seth's face like the man had been at fault for everything.   
  
Finally, Roman moved when he realized what Dean was planning to do on the exposed cement floor. He ran around the ring and stood between Dean and Seth's prone body.   
  
Dean looked at him with wide frantic eyes. "Go away. This is me and him!"   
  
"No!" Roman bellowed. "Stop, Dean!"   
  
But Dean pushed Roman away, grabbed Seth and drove him into the cement floor.   
  
Before Roman could get to him, Dean walked off, through the crowd. A tortured look on his face. He was completely out of his mind.   
  
He knelt at Seth's side while watching Dean staring back at them. He put a hand on Seth's shoulder, feeling it shaking with built up emotions. Or was it tears? Roman couldn't see it.   
  
Dean was gone now, and Seth was starting to stand with Roman and the ref's help. But Seth pushed Roman away.   
  
"It's between me and him," Seth said under the din of the arena. "Stay out of it."   
  
A proud look came over Seth's steps as he walked away up the ramp. Roman put his hands on his hips, watching. Then he ran them down his face, tired and annoyed.   
  
But he wasn't surprised. This had not been unexpected after earlier.   
  
The Shield was over. And maybe, just maybe, Roman was okay.   
  
It was over. And he just had to think of himself, again. No one else. Roman was back to being a solo act. Just like when Dean was on Smackdown.   
  
His brothers are moving on without him. And Roman was understanding. He understood. He did exactly what John had told him weeks ago to do. Be understanding. He would be there for Seth and Dean when they needed him. But they didn't need him anymore.   
  
And like Seth had tragically cried to Dean in that ring minutes ago... it's okay.   
  


* * *

  
Roman was leaving the arena when he realized Seth and Dean must have gone away in different cars and that Roman had no ride. He looked around a little hoping to find someone to ride with to the hotel. He didn't have media tomorrow but he had stuff to do Wednesday and Thursday before the houseshow loop. A bunch of media in the New York area for Crown Jewel.   
  
He hoped Finn was around. He usually was right?   
  
But Roman didn't see him.   
  
He took out his phone and pressed the man's name, praying that Finn wouldn't already be too far away to come back.   
  
"I was starting to think my photos earlier weren't enough to have you knocking on my door," the Irish accent purred.   
  
Roman smirked, eyes falling closed at the sound of the gentle drawl. "They are more than enough. I would have bent you over and and fucked you in the middle of the ring until you were a mess if I wasn't sure we'd both be fired or worse."   
  
There was the sound of choking in the background. It mixed with Finn's laughter. "Bayley would say hi, but she's trying to not turn red."   
  
Roman also blushed. "Want to warn me next time I'm on speaker phone?"   
  
"Hey just be happy it wasn't an episode of Ride Along," Finn joked.   
  
Roman chuckled. "True... Sorry Bayley. Didn't think anyone else was listening. Anyone else listening in?"   
  
"Nope. Just Bayley and me. What's up, babe?"   
  
His smirked ticked up at the pet name. "Are you guys on the road already? I need a ride and I don't see anyone else. Not sure I want to ride with crew."   
  
"We were about to head out. You at the door?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Be right there."   
  
Roman took the phone away from his ear when Finn hung up.   
  
He waited a few minutes, letting the chilly Rhode Island wind blow in his face, the city life buzzing around him despite being almost midnight.He took a deep breath, enjoying the chill it brought. At least he could count on Finn to be around tonight. He was hoping the Irishman would be. Roman needed to forget things. He needed a warm body pressed against him to edge the ache in his heart away. Because he understood his brother's desire to settle things alone. But it only now hit him that he was back to riding alone.   
  
A small SUV pulled up in front of him and the passenger side window opened. He grinned at the equally large grin that met him.   
  
"How much for the night, sweetheart?" Finn joked.   
  
Roman's grin turned cocky and a twinkle shown in his eyes from the orange parking lot lights above them. "Can't afford me."   
  
"Well, shit. Okay Bayley, leave him here," Finn said telling Bayley to drive off.   
  
"Hey!"   
  
Finn laughed, leaning his head back and giving Roman a look that the Samoan couldn't place. Those happy ocean blue eyes glinted with something.   
  
"We're heading off to Newark," Finn said.   
  
Oh yeah, Roman mused. They had the mixed match challenge tomorrow. He nodded.   
  
"You can tag along," Finn offered. "Unless you have stuff to do tomorrow."   
  
Roman shook his head, already grabbing his bags. "Nothing. I'll go to Smackdown tomorrow. It's been a while since I've seen the blue brand."   
  
Roman didn't see Finn's smile soften and his eyes close as he brought his bag to the trunk and put them in. But Bayley saw it from where she sat in the driver's seat. And she knew what that smile meant. Her friend Finn was in love. Deep love. She knew he had liked Roman. But now she knew for a fact that it was more. The thing was, she had a feeling that Roman's feelings weren't the same.   
  
A part of her wondered if Roman would ever love her friend in any way.   
  
Was she a bad person for hoping he fell madly in love with Finn? Was she asking too much?   
  
Roman hopped in the back passenger seat. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it."   
  
"No problem," Bayley said. "You'd do the same for either of us."   
  
"Plus, what kind of fuck buddy would I be if I left you behind?" Finn smirked, eyes still closed. Bayley heard the tinge of hurt in the man's voice.   
  
Roman had heard it too. But he said nothing about it. Because a part of him desperately hoped that Seth had been wrong last week when he said that Finn had feelings for him. Roman didn't want a relationship, but he also didn't want to string Finn around. If Finn had feelings for him, Roman would have to break things off. He would not be that guy who used someone's love for sex. That would be cruel.   
  
Roman was not cruel.   
  
Light chatter filled the car between Bayley and Finn. Roman would join in every so often. But after an hour or so, Finn fell asleep, arms crossed over his chest and head against the window.   
  
Bayley heard him start to snore and turned the radio volume down. She looked at Roman through the mirror. "Hungry?" she asked in a whisper.   
  
Roman smiled. "Always," he said, humor in his voice.   
  
Bayley put on her signal and changed lanes so she could take the next exit somewhere in Connecticut. She found a Wendy's and pulled in drive thru. They both ordered and Bayley added in a salad for Finn just in case he was hungry when he woke up.   
  
"I got it," Roman said, reaching for the wallet in his duffel bag behind him. "You guys were nice enough to drive me, least I can do is pay."   
  
Bayley shook her hands at him. "No. It's okay I swear."   
  
Roman gave her his dad look. "I got it,' he said again, his voice final this time.   
  
He paid. They got their food. Bayley parked off to the side. They ate in silence, Finn soundly napping.   
  
"How are you?" Bayley asked, softly, turning her body in the seat to face Roman.   
  
"Could be worse, I guess," Roman answered, taking another bite of food.   
  
"Well, you can always ride with me," the former Raw Women's champ offered. "I know the feeling of having to find a new riding buddy."   
  
They were silent again, eating.   
  
Roman threw his wrapper in his paper bag and covered his mouth with a fist when he burped. He lifted his eyes and saw Bayley staring at him, mouth in a straight line.   
  
"It's not my place," Bayley whispered, glancing at Finn to make sure he was still sleeping. When she looked back at Roman, her serious face made a chill run down Roman's arms. Bayley was hardly seerious like this. It was odd. "But if you hurt him, I'll make sure you have no teeth."   
  
Roman blinked. "Okay," was all he could say.   
  
Well then. Bayley was scary when she wanted to be.   
  
Of course, Roman had no clue how he could hurt someone who agreed to have a casual sexual relationship.   
  
Bayley started driving again. They made it to the hotel a little more than an hour and a half later.   
  
"Finny," Bayley mumbled, lightly shaking Finn's shoulder to wake him.   
  
Blue eyes slowly opened as the toned body stretched. "Shit. I've been out the whole time?"   
  
Bayley laughed. "Like a light. Got you something to eat."   
  
He took the bag she handed him and sighed happily. "Good, I'm starving."   
  
They grabbed their bags from the trunk and Bayley buzzed the doorbell. Most hotels they reserved rooms with knew when they were coming in late. They sometimes paid extra for it, but at least it gave them a room to sleep in.   
  
Bayley checked them in, getting hers and Finn's key card before all three made it to the elevator.   
  
She winked at them when they got to their doors, right next door to eachother. "Try to keep the noise down."   
  
"That's not what you'd be saying if you had a man," Finn stuck his tongue out.   
  
Bayley flipped him off with a laugh, walking into her room.   
  
Finn unlocked their door and let Roman in first. The second the door closed, Roman pulled Finn in for a kiss. He sigh when they parted and walked over to the bed, taking off his sneakers. "I was thinking about those lips all day."   
  
Finn smiled, sitting with his legs crossed on the bed, Wendy's bag in hand. He opened the container and started eating. "Yeah? I thought it'd be my ass not my lips."   
  
He took off his shirt and pants, staying in his briefs before he laid beside Finn, picking a piece of chicken from the bowl and eating it. "Oh yeah, of course I thought about your ass too. But I like kissing you."   
  
Finn swatted Roman's hand away when it came for another piece of chicken. He smiled when Roman laughed at the reaction.   
  
Finn looked down at Roman, the bigger man's head on the pillow beside Finn's body. Roman's warm brown eyes watched Finn eat his salad, not caring if it was rude to stare.   
  
Finn stood and threw the trash from his super late night dinner in the bin by the door. Before reaching the bed, he undressed.   
  
"This might be the first time I've seen you in underwear," Roman commented, tone teasing.   
  
"Gotta keep you guessing," Finn replied, a yawn ripping from his mouth.   
  
He sat on the bed, pulling Roman's head in his lap. His knobby knuckled fingers untied the tight high bun and ran his fingers through the dry long dark curls. Roman hummed, closing his eyes.   
  
"Talk to me about how you're feeling," Finn whispered the order.   
  
Roman didn't hesitate. He told Finn how he wasn't surprised by tonight. He told him about what Dean and Seth had told him seperately before the show. And he told Finn how he understood his brother's feelings. He was okay with everything. He was sad that they were split once again, but he wasn't upset. He wasn't panicking like before. Roman was ...fine?   
  
Finn continued to play with the hair as he listened, softly running his fingers from scalp to ends. At some point Roman was sure he had started to braid and re-braid a section of the long hair. It was soothing. It felt very good. Roman opened his eyes and reached for Finn's face, bringing it down to his. They kissed tenderly, lips pressing and sliding against the other's. Roman's tongue flicked at the seam and gladly pushed in when he was granted access.   
  
Finn moved from how he was sitting to lay beside the bigger man. Once settled, Finn reattached his lips to Roman's.   
  
"We need to be quiet," Roman whispered. "I don't want to wake Bayley."   
  
Finn nodded, breathing heavy already. Roman was grinding into his hips.   
  
It was slow and light. Teasing. But it was working.   
  
Finn slid his hands down and grabbed Roman's clothed ass, pulling him closer. He craved the feeling of Roman against him. It dulled the ache in his chest knowing that this man he was thrusting against wasn't his, heart and soul. He couldn't have his love, but he had something else. A consolation prize.   
  
Roman growled and turned them so that he was on his back and Finn on top of him. Finn's legs opened and straddled the perfect hips. Roman ran his hands down the toned sides, his thumbs smoothing circles at the hips before hooking the underwear. He pulled them down enough to let out Finn's forming erection.   
  
Finn looked down at Roman, his fingers ghosting down the Samoan's shoulders and arms. He was mesmerized by how gorgeous Roman was. So beautiful. The man of his dreams.   
  
Roman kissed him again, slow and sensual.   
  
A gasp tore from Roman's lips and into Finn's mouth when the Irishman's hands worked Roman's hard length from the briefs. Then Roman grunted. Finn had gotten off of him and grabbed the lube and condoms from his luggage.   
  
"You still stretched from this morning?" Roman asked licking his lips.   
  
Finn climbed back on Roman's lap, a smirk on those pretty features. "Let's find out."   
  
He opened the condom wrapper and slid it down Roman's girth, jerking his fist up and down to get the rubber on snug. Then he sat on Roman's lap, positioning himself. He led Roman to his hole and then slid back, letting the hard cock open and fill him.   
  
So good. Finn's tight heat felt amazing around Roman. This morning's plane ride had left Roman so horny and Finn's perfect ass was the only way to ease the feeling. Roman bucked into the heat, enjoying the sight of Finn bounce in his lap.   
  
The kiss swollen lips opened to let out small moans and gasps. The friction of Roman moving in him was delicious. This slow paced thrusting was driving him over so quickly. The way Roman was rolling his hips had Finn's head dropping back. Slow and long was Finn's weakness. Hard and fast was good too. But there was something out of this world about how Roman rocked into him like there was all the time in the world.   
  
But there wasn't all night. The sun would rise soon, just like Finn's rising orgasm.   
  
Roman's hands grabbed hold on each of Finn's ass cheeks spreading them to give him leverage. Finn rotated his hips against him now, pre-cum slipping down Finn's cock landing on Roman's naval. It was an erotic dance, this leisure fuck. Like a movie, a sexy beat in the background to guide their movements. But the only music around was the sound of their heavy breathing and supressed moans.   
  
Finn whined. He was close and needed more. He bit his lip and looked down at Roman. Ocean blue and earth brown met and held each other in place. "Roman, please. I can't take it. This is torture."   
  
Roman's long fingers left Finn's pert ass and grabbed the Irishman's face. He pulled Finn's lips back onto his. And as Finn and Roman kissed the bigger man pulled out and then slammed back in with a snap of his hips. Finn moaned loudly into Roman's mouth.   
  
Finn hunched over against Roman's body, letting the friction of Roman's hot tan skin rub against his erection. He threaded his fingers through Roman's silky hair again. This faster pace was what Finn needed and it took no time for him to shoot hot cum on his and and Roman's abs. Finn's moans filled Roman's hungry mouth. His body trembling in release.   
  
"Yeah, baby boy," Roman growled against his lips. "Just like that. Cum for me."   
  
Roman kept pumping his hips into Finn's ass before he came hard. The slow pace had built Roman up so much. He was sure that if he had been bare in Finn, he would have filled him up. The thought was extremely sexy to Roman. But he didn't fuck anyone without a condom unless they were in a trusting relationship. But the idea of his cum leaking out of Finn's round ass might change his mind. He could think of no better sight.   
  
He lifted Finn off of him and laid him on the bed before getting up and getting a wet towel from the bathroom. He cleaned them both up.   
  
Before Finn knew it, both of them were under the covers and he was in Roman's arms. Where he knew in his heart he belonged.   
  
It felt like home.   
  
A home he would never own. But it was still home.   
  


* * *

  
Finn was having a bad dream. He was sure this was a dream, at least. Okay more like a nightmare.   
  
He saw grey pale skin. The was this horrible horrible feeling. In his head he could see it. He could see tired eyes, brown eyes- sickly pale like the skin surrounding it. Roman. His heart was clenching and he couldn't breathe.   
  
There was a beeping in the background. Incessant. Wouldn't stop.   
  
He had no clue where it was. Or what it was, honestly. Couldn't see anything. Only thing he could see was that pale skin and white wash walls. All he could hear the gentle breathing that was slowly getting more and more ragged as time went on.   
  
And the beeping.   
  
Finn was sure that this had to be a nightmare. He couldn't take it. He had no clue what was going on and it felt like he was running away. Or was he running to something? He had never felt so much saddness.   
  
Flashes of color came to his eyes. A color he had seen many times. A color he loved. The color red,... tied to his finger like a string. It was pulled taunt. It kept pulling and pulling and pulling….   
  
And then it broke.   
  
It snapped.   
  
It shattered before his anxious eyes. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. He was crying. Tears streaming down his face and dropping to the floor, landing on the pile of red dust. The beeping stopped pulsing. Instead it continued to play long and sad. It wouldn’t stop.   
  
It was haunting.   
  
It put fear in Finn’s entire body.   
  
And suddenly he jolted awake.   
  
H shot up, sitting and panting, the sheets pooled around his naked waist.   
  
His mind was foggy. He couldn’t think and his eyes looked everywhere. He wasn't sure what he was trying to find at first. Wasn't sure where he was at first. That's how disoriented he really was.   
  
What kind of nightmare was that? The only thing he remembered was the long aching beep that finished him off.   
  
Finn’s eyes caught movement behind him before he felt a gentle touch. And only then did he realize that he had been in bed and that below him was another body. The body he could recognize extremely quickly.   
  
It was Roman   
  
Roman must have woken up when he jolted awake, because soft brown eyes looked up at him. They looked worried and maybe a bit curious.   
  
Roman’s hand ran up and down Finn’s back, comforting. Those long fingers skimmed the bumps of his spine on their way up to his shoulder, where they gripped gently. The warm hand felt cold against Finn’s burning skin. But the pressure of Roman holding Finn (in a way Finn could only describe as solid and strong) made him feel secure. The sight of Roman put him at ease.   
  
Finn let out a shaking breath. It wavered the tears in his eyes.   
  
He must have been crying because from the dream. Cool air hit the tear tracks on his face.   
  
Roman moved the hand from his shoulder, leaving a cold vacant feel. The fingers brushed his cheek, catching the tear that just spilled from his full blue ocean water eyes.   
  
He made soft shushing sounds.   
  
Finn’s body was shaking, he realized when Roman pulled him back down into his open arms.   
  
Roman held him tight. Finn hid his face in Roman’s shoulder so the bigger man couldn’t see the shame that colored his emotional face.   
  
Finn wasn’t a crier. He wasn’t the type of man to be emotional. He had a great ability to never show emotions he didn’t want to. Finn had 4 settings: Happy, Demon, Serious, Erotic. No room for blubbering baby.   
  
Roman’s hands made circles against his back. Both hands moving so gentle and soothing, but they held him in place. In Roman’s strong arms.   
  
“Just a bad dream, baby boy,” Roman whispered. He kissed Finn’s hair, holding his lips there for a few seconds before pulling them away and replacing it with his cheek. They stayed that way for long moments, Finn’s head pressed into Roman’s cheek. The Samoan kept whispering soft words to comfort Finn. “It’s okay” and “I’m here.”   
  
Finn wondered if Roman was used to comforting people who had woken from nightmares. He was amazing at it.   
  
Finally, Finn was calm. No more tears fell from his eyes.   
  
“I’m sorry,” Finn muttered, feeling that embarrassment in his gut. He started to pull away, figuring out that Roman was probably uncomfortable holding him like that.   
  
But Roman didn’t let him move, locking his arms tight to keep Finn against his naked body. “Stay,” Roman whispered. It was so quiet Finn thought he had imagined it. “Are you okay?” Roman then said louder for Finn to hear.   
  
“A little squished,” Finn tried to joke. It failed.   
  
Roman pulled him closer. If that was even possible. Finn and Roman had already been pressed against eachother like they were trying to become one person. Finn thought it was impossible to be any closer. In fact, Finn thought Roman fucking him had been the closest Finn would ever come to Roman, but here he was, engulfed in this warm and caring embrace.   
  
Finn could feel Roman smirk. He could feel the handsome face pull as he talked. “You scared me, baby boy. You were crying in your sleep and then you gasped like you couldn’t breathe and sat up.”   
  
Finn wished he could see Roman’s face as he spoke. Finn wished he could see those brown eyes full of life staring back at him.   
  
“What were you dreaming about?” Roman’s tone was curious but still stayed soft. No pressure in it. Like Finn didn’t have to answer if he didn’t want to.   
  
Finn tucked his head against Roman’s neck even more and inhaled that clean musk smell. “I don’t remember.”   
  
But that was a lie. Because now that he was in those arms, protected, he knew what the nightmare was about.   
  
Finn had lost Roman.   
  
Finn had a dream that Roman was gone. That’s why the red string broke. That’s why Finn had cried. Because he didn’t have Roman and it had broken his heart. It had broken Finn’s soul.   
  
Roman hummed. It vibrated through Roman’s chest against Finn’s. “Well, whatever it was, it was just a dream.”   
  
Finn nodded. “I’m okay. Sorry for waking you,” he apologized again. “Let’s just go back to sleep.”   
  
“Yeah.”   
  
One of Roman’s hands lifted from Finn’s back where they had been running and rubbing softly, and he ran it against the short buzzed hair at the back of Finn’s head. It stayed there until Finn’s breathing evened out.   
  
And it continued to stay there as Finn slept.   
  
Roman was awake though. He couldn’t sleep for hours after that.   
  
His arms were tired and aching from holding onto Finn so tightly. But he didn’t move them. It felt wrong to. He felt deeply that letting go of Finn was the worst thing he could do.   
  
Honestly, Roman was shaken.   
  
He had seen his daughter have nightmares before, but never a grown man.   
  
Never a grown man who normally slept so well beside him after they spent hours in eachothers arms thrusting and kissing and panting.   
  
Before bed Finn had been fine. No sign of being upset.   
  
But then Roman had woken up. It must have been Finn’s tossing and turning. Must have been Finn’s mumbling.   
  
He was going to wake him, but then he saw tears leak from Finn’s eyes and Roman felt panic in his bones. He thought Finn was hurt. And before Roman could call out and wake the man up, Finn sat up.   
  
Roman saw those eyes pop open and look around frantically. It was almost unconscious that Roman had started rubbing Finn’s back, trying to calm him down.   
  
And when Finn’s eyes looked back at him, Roman’s heart pounded into his chest.   
  
They were tragically beautiful. Ocean blue waves of tears. Stormy. Chaotic. Sad.   
  
Roman knew he shouldn’t find the sight of Finn Balor crying beautiful. But he did. He found the tear streaked cheeks so enticing. He wanted to kiss the tears from that upset face. He wanted to hold Finn.   
  
So he did that. And he still was. Holding Finn.   
  
Roman kissed Finn’s hair.   
  
Finn said he didn’t remember what his dream had been about. And Roman didn’t doubt it. Many dreams flew from memory. Many people didn’t even remember they had dreams.   
  
But Roman was sure he knew what the dream was about.   
  
Because Finn had mumbled something specific while the tears ran from his closed eyes.   
  
He had said his name. He had said _Roman._   
  
Roman squeezed his eyes tight, unsure what to feel. He was starting to suspect Seth had been right last week. Maybe Finn was in love with him. But until Roman was sure he had no idea what to do. He had no idea how to feel.   
  
He only knew that tonight he wanted to hold Finn very close. The sun was up already, but they could sleep for a little while longer, Finn's alarm was set anyway. So Roman let himself sleep again.   
  
“I’m right here, Baby boy.”   
  


* * *

  
"Time to wake up, baby boy," Roman's voice mumbled. "You have to go to work."   
  
Finn stirred, moaning at the good feeling running through his body. He had no clue why he felt so good but he had an idea it was Roman.   
  
He opened his sleep hazy blue eyes and found the covers thrown off the bed and Roman's face buried in his ass. Finn groaned at the sight, his legs pushed open and hanging over Roman's arms. Roman holding his bottom half up in the air as he knelt at the foot of the bed. How the hell had he slept through this. Good sweet God. What a wake up.   
  
"I don't remember asking for a wake up call," Finn moaned.   
  
Roman looked at him from over his hard toned body. "It's a hotel courtesy."   
  
Finn couldn't respond with another snipping comment when Roman's thick hot tongue prodded into him. How long had he been eating him out? Finn was rock hard. Pre-cum crystal clear and dripping.   
  
Roman continued to tongue fuck Finn's hungry hole. He loved this taste. He had woken up and found Finn tightly in his arms and he just wanted to taste him. He wanted to make Finn feel good after last night's nightmare.   
  
Finn's moans became desperate and then his body jerked and quivered against Roman's arms. Roman stopped and watched as Finn came undone, a moaning mess.   
  
"You probably just woke up Bayley," Roman laughed.   
  
Finn covered his face with his hands. "Your fault and I will tell her that."   
  
Roman put Finn's body down on the bed and crawled up to kiss the smaller man. "I'll happily take the fault for making you moan like that, baby boy."   
  
He could taste himself in Roman and it was hot.   
  
"Want me to return the favor?"   
  
Roman smiled. "Nah. I just wanted to wake you up."   
  
"Is that how you wake everyone?" Finn asked, only half-joking. He was still feeling euphoric.   
  
Roman just laughed and shook his head.   
  
The Samoan body lifted off the bed and walked into the bathroom to get ready. "Come on, get up. You need to be at the arena soon and I am sure you're hungry."   
  
Finn watched Roman disappear into the bathroom with a glazed smile on his face. He was sated. The nightmare from last night forgotten and the love for Roman making him sigh. That man was so perfect. The only fault Roman had, in Finn's opinion, was not loving Finn back. Instead Roman loved John Cena and it sucked.   
  
All Finn could offer Roman was himself. His body. Not his heart. Only his body. And poor stupid Finn was gladly suffering for every touch and kiss.   
  
It was all Finn could give Roman. So he would give Roman his body. Over and over again until Roman got sick of him and moved on. Because Finn couldn't bare to lose Roman on his own. Roman would have to leave him.   
  
Roman came out of the bathroom, dressed. His eyes were bothering him so he didn't put his contacts in and was wearing his glasses. Instead of finding Finn ready to go, Finn still in bed, naked, and staring at him. It didn't look like Finn was ready to go to get breakfast with the erection he was sporting.   
  
"Use me," Finn said. His voice was soft, like he was scared to ask. This was a Finn Roman had rarely seen. Finn was confident and knew what he wanted. This Finn was like the crying man Roman held in his arms last night. This Finn was vulnerable. This Finn needed someone to hold him. And Roman wanted to hold him.   
  
Just like last night, Roman wanted to hold onto Finn and not let go.   
  
Finn's blue eyes looked away. "I'm sorry. I am never like this. I’m never this forward. And I don’t know why I’m like this with you. I keep going against my better judgement."   
  
Roman approached the bed. He placed himself beside the vulnerable man and kissed him deeply. He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say, anyway.   
  
He just knew he might be in trouble. He didn't love Finn. He loved John. But he was sure he was obsessed with the Irishman. This side of Finn was making Roman want to protect him from any harm. This sad Finn with the broken eyes.   
  
Roman turned Finn on his side so they were spooning. He wrapped his arms around Finn and took the length in his hand, pumping his fist.   
  
Finn moaned. Roman's tattooed arm was tightly around his chest and it brought ease to Finn's turmoil mind. He had no idea what he was doing. Finn was self-destructing. He knew he was. Roman was all he ever wanted. All he needed. And he couldn't have him in the way he wanted.   
  
Roman wasn't his, but he was Roman's through and through.   
  
He had tried to hold it back before. But it was getting so hard. It was impossible to lay with this man and not confess his feelings.   
  
He loved Roman.   
  
Loved him so much it was ridiculous.   
  
From day one. Like some damn high school soap opera. He liked Roman Reigns. And slowly that crush transformed into love when he got to know Roman as a person. Roman was kind and sweet. He worked hard and was a leader in the locker room. Roman was funny and loved to laugh. Roman's voice could switch between soft and caring to low and authoritative. And Finn wanted to know everything Roman could show him. Finn wanted to know Roman because he loved him.   
  
And Roman loved another man.   
  
The arousal built in him despite the thoughts he was having. And he came in Roman's pumping fist, feeling Roman whisper encouragement and "baby boy" in his ear.   
  
Finn's mouth opened and a silent moan left his trembling lips. His body twitched and then relaxed, mind still buzzing with sad thoughts.   
  
Roman held him there even after he had let Finn's cock go. He just held him.   
  
"You know," Roman rumbled. "You tell me to talk to you, but you never tell me anything. This is a two-way street, baby boy. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here for you."   
  
Finn hid the heartbreak from his face. How could he talk to Roman about his love for Roman without driving the man away? "I know."   
  
The nightmare from last night had really fucked with Finn's mood.   
  
Long minutes ticked by until Finn's phone chimed with a text from Bayley. And then he separated from Roman and plastered a grin on his face. "Thank you. I just needed a little attention. I'm sorry for being so needy."   
  
Roman watched as Finn got up and grabbed his shower kit from the suitcase. His brown eyes could see Finn's lie written all over that lovely face. But Roman didn't know how to comfort Finn.   
  
He didn't know what Finn was feeling or thinking.   
  
At least, Roman thought he didn't.   
  
"Go meet Bayley, I'll be down in a few," Finn told him.   
  
Roman watched the bathroom door close, blocking Roman from Finn.   
  
His phone buzzed and he took it out of his pocket to see who it could be.   
  
_Hey_ from John Cena.   
  


* * *

  
_Sorry for all the angst. So I know Bayley has someone in her life, but to be kayfabe compliant, she will be single here.  
  
**Love Natsuki Lee**_


	12. Chapter 12

October 23, 2018   
  
Roman looked down at his phone and his heart started to beat quickly. Slamming into his chest.   
  
John's name always made his heart beat fast.   
  
Roman bit his lip. His eyes glanced up to the bathroom door from behind his glasses. He should answer John. But he was still worried about Finn. Finn had been so vulnerable. The way he had forced that grin on his face and then ran off to the bathroom made Roman’s brow furrow heavily.   
  
But Finn had closed the door and pretty much told him to leave, right? So Roman should do that… ?   
  
He grabbed what he needed and walked out the door. Bayley was there waiting, eyes on her phone, probably texting Sasha.   
  
She looked up and gave him a blazing smile. Roman smiled back, amused at her enthusiasm so early in the morning.   
  
“Where's Finn?” she asked. Then she winked and wiggled her eyebrows. “Did you tire him out that much?”   
  
Roman's smile twitched. It was unconscious but Bayley caught it. And she frowned, the hand holding her phone fell to her side.   
  
“He okay?”   
  
“Yeah,” Roman sighed. “I think. He had a bad dream last night and now he's acting weird.”   
  
“Weird, how?”   
  
Roman shrugged. “Not his normal carefree self. Super emotional, I guess. I don’t know how to explain it.”   
  
Bayley looked even more worried. She nodded after a second and her lips pressed together in thought. “Okay. Probably just the lack of sleep.”   
  
Roman had a feeling by the way Bayley looked away when saying that, that she was lying.   
  
His phone buzzed again and a part of him hoped it was Finn. But the other part craved to see John’s name again.   
  
How are you? John again.   
  
Roman's heart skipped a beat and he sent a quick reply.   
  
John and him did this often, now. Since the night in Australia when Roman had gotten drunk. John would text asking how he was and Roman would feel his insides twist in anticipation.   
  
I miss seeing you.   
  
Oh. Well that was unexpected from John. But it made the Samoan man's eyes light up and his face heat up.   
  
I miss you too. Roman replied.   
  
He looked up and saw Bayley staring at him, face blank.   
  
A feeling of guilt washed over Roman. He didn't know why he felt guilty. But he did. It was like Bayley caught him doing something he shouldn't be.   
  
And Roman thought for a second that Seth and Dean would also be giving him that look if they knew he was texting John. Well if they weren’t wrapped up in their own drama. They didn't like the idea of Roman with John.   
  
And Roman understood why. But he could not help loving the man he considered a role model.   
  
He looked away from Bayley's eyes and cleared his throat. He shouldn't feel guilty. He was doing nothing wrong. Roman was a single man who was texting someone he was interested in. His relationship with Finn didn't change that. It shouldn't change that. Finn was just a friend.   
  
"Let's go get some breakfast. Finn will join us," Bayley said. Her voice was bland. He was absolutely sure she was holding back her displeasure. And it made him both annoyed and ashamed.   
  


* * *

  
What was John doing texting Roman like this?   
  
He didn't know.   
  
He simply did not know.   
  
He just knew that the idea of Roman bent over his bed was amazing and erotic. And it severely stole John's late night thoughts.   
  
One thing for sure. It wasn't love John was feeling. It was pure lust. It was carnal. It was devious behavior.   
  
He wanted to get a taste of the forbidden fruit and then go back to his daily life.   
  
He looked out over the view of his backyard in Florida. He was on book tour in the states, but today he had nothing. So he was taking some time at home after spending hours in the gym. And for whatever reason, the scenery had made him want to text Roman.   
  
He was probably lonely. He had spent many many minutes in that backyard area with Nikki. It felt empty now that he was looking at it without her in his arms. He missed her company. They had ended so horribly, but he still felt love for her. His Nicole.   
  
John sighed and put his mug of coffee on the near by table. He looked down at the phone in the other hand.   
  
Roman:  _I miss you, too._    
  
John knew he should feel bad. He honestly was only saying things because he knew Roman would want to hear it. But he knew deep down it was wrong. He was leading Roman on. And it was such a horrible thing to do. But Roman was becoming a bit of an obsession. And the obsession wasn't going to go away if he didn't get what he wanted.   
  
Randy Orton, that asshole, was right. John was gonna have to fuck Roman and get it out of his system.   
  
 _I want to see you_    
  
He pressed send and waited for the reply.   
  
 _You do?  
  
Yeah. Maybe we can see eachother soon?   
  
I would like that. Tell me when you're around. You know our schedule._   
  
John licked his lips. The sooner the better. He had a match at the show in Saudi Arabia. He might as well meet up with Roman there. A little more than a week. John wasn't sure he could wait that long to get Roman under him.   
  
But he would manage.   
  
 _Crown Jewel? After the show?_    
  
John should feel horrible. But his desires were clouding his morality.   
  
He had no inclination to hurt Roman Reigns. He was a great guy. Beautiful soul and hard worker. But John couldn't handle it anymore. He should have just had him in Australia. John should have just taken Roman's drunk mouth and shoved his dick in.   
  
Let those thick lips wrap around him, sweetly.   
  
Damn John and his good heart.   
  
But that heart was losing the fight against his sex drive.   
  
John grabbed his mug of coffee and walked out his back door. He sat down at a chair and sipped his hot coffee slowly. The steam wafted up into the late October Florida air.   
  
John Cena was prepared to put his needs before Roman's heart. He was prepared to be an asshole for some ass. And it sucked but hopefully not as much as Roman's mouth.   
  
Plus, John was sure Roman wasn't in love with him. Roman just had a crush.   
  
At least that's what he told himself to not feel bad about using Roman's love for sex.   
  
John closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He just wanted someone to hold for the night.   
  


* * *

  
By the time the night was over and they had made it back to the Hotel, Finn was back to his better spirits.   
  
Roman eyed him as the thinner man took off his t-shirt. Finn's back was turned to him, but Roman could see that Finn was less tense. He wanted to wrap his arms around Finn at that moment and ask him about that morning. But he knew it wasn't his place. Finn would have told him if he deemed Roman worthy.   
  
He scrubbed his hands over his face. Maybe staying in Finn's hotel room was a bad idea? He should have gotten his own just in case. But he had gotten used to sleeping beside Finn in this bleak and bland hotel rooms these past few weeks.   
  
Roman removed his hands from his face and saw Finn's eyes on him. Ocean blue swirling with hints of green and bright silver. Hypnotizing. Beckoning.   
  
Maybe it was his win in the Mixed Match Challenge? Maybe it was just the feel of the day so far? Either way, Finn had put his walls back up and that sexy smirk had replaced itself. No more sad wavering smile.   
  
Finn walked over to Roman and immediately grabbed the hem of Roman's long sleeve shirt. He pulled it up and off the beautiful Samoan man's body. He dropped it off to the side and then let those warm hands run down Roman's chest and abs, slowly, feeling every bump and curve. Finn leaned in and kissed Roman tenderly.   
  
Grabbing Finn's bearded chin, he held him still. He pulled back and looked at those wide blue eyes. "You need it more than me tonight. What do you want to do?"   
  
Something flashed over Finn's face but it was gone quickly. That sexy smirk still in place. The smaller man opened his mouth wider, moving his lip enough to get Roman's thumb in his mouth. He flicked his tongue against it a few times before sucking it strongly.   
  
Roman's eyes narrowed and his lips opened to let out a huff. "Want me to suck you off, baby boy?"   
  
The smirk broadened around Roman's thumb. Finn ghosted his teeth against the thumb in his mouth before letting it drop, slick with saliva. "Sixty-nine?"   
  
Groaning, Roman nodded. "We haven't done that yet."   
  
Finn quirked a brow. "Are you keeping track?"   
  
Roman laughed. He pushed Finn back until he fell onto one of the beds. "No. But I do have a good memory."   
  
He grabbed the waist band of Finn's loose grey sweat pants and yanked them down to his ankles, where they stayed bunched against the sneakers Finn hadn't taken off yet. Roman kissed his way up Finn's legs, leaving small bites on those thighs. He reached up to the groin and pulled away. No underwear. Roman's favorite trait of Finn's sexual appetite. Always ready for him.   
  
Finn's eyes followed Roman as he stood back up and removed the rest of his clothes and glasses. The naked Samoan's body like a painting in a museum. Finn ached to have him.   
  
Roman's body was the only thing keeping him sane as his mind unravelled from the ache in his heart. Finn was on the path of self destructing. He should pull away. He should not do this with Roman anymore. His heart was breaking everytime those strong arms brought him in close. But instead of running away, Finn was frozen. He would not move away from Roman.   
  
He could not physically leave Roman. He couldn't let go of the man he loved after having at least part of him.   
  
Finn was dying inside. But at least he would enjoy the slow death, body melted into Roman's.   
  
And that was why Finn could actually smile right now. Despite all his pain and sadness, Finn was still in Roman's arms. And those plump lips kissing his body over and over again made his ill heart feel fleeting. He could forget his own feelings for Roman.   
  
He was Roman's.   
  
So he let himself continue this facade until Roman kicked him to the curb.   
  
Roman climbed back on the bed beside Finn's fair body. His hair sprayed out beside Finn's legs. His face coming to stare at the pretty erection. Hardening the longer Roman looked at it. His brown eyes flickered to Finn's already flushed face and smiled warmly. "I'm going to suck you dry, baby boy."   
  
Finn's hips bucked up a little. "Such a dirty mouth," Finn whispered. "You should put it to work instead of threatening me with a good time."   
  
"Not a threat," Roman looked back at the hard cock. He took it in his hand and squeezed firmly. "It's a promise."   
  
Roman wrapped his lips around Finn and hollowed out his cheeks.   
  
The air was knocked out of Finn's lungs. Roman was true to his word, sucking him like it was the only way Roman could live. It felt so good, Finn almost forgot that he had a thick cock next to him waiting to be tasted.   
  
"You gonna return the favor, baby boy, or you want me to just take care of you?" Roman asked after releasing Finn with a pop.   
  
"Shit," Finn breathed. He leaned into Roman's body and put his hands on Roman's hips. He held them still and took the cock of his fantasies in his mouth. His eyes fluttered shut as Roman went back to sucking him off. A groan vibrated around Finn's arousal and it made him hum in return.   
  
They licked and sucked eachother for a while, going at their own speeds. Roman throbbed against Finn's tongue. It felt heavy in his mouth, stretching his mouth open deliciously. It was a feeling he adored. He prodded Roman's cock head with his tongue, squeezing Roman's hips with his hands. He could suck Roman off for hours and not get bored. He tasted amazing. Addicting.   
  
Roman groaned. He moved his body over Finn's so he could blow Finn better. He took Finn all the way in and swallowed around him. The feel of his muscles contracting around Finn's hard length had Finn mewling. The salty taste of Finn's pre-cum mixed with Roman's saliva. Roman swallowed again before letting Finn's cock drop out of his mouth. He licked at Finn's balls, enjoying the way Finn's pubes brushed against his beard.   
  
Suddenly, the feeling of Finn's hands spreading his ass cheeks open made Roman jolt in surprise. He didn't say anything. He just smirked and took Finn's cock back in his mouth. Finn's hot tongue licked a trail up from his balls to his hole and circled the ring of muscles.   
  
Roman hadn't been rimmed in a very long time. He was more of a giver, but he did like it. He moaned, swirling his tongue around Finn's leaking head.   
  
Finn wasn't sure this was okay at first, but he had wondered many times what Roman's ass tasted like. Roman's reaction only made him want more. So he spread Roman's ass even more with strong hands and went to town on that sexy hole. He wanted to sink right into it. Roman spread his legs out more, laying his bottom half flush against Finn's chest. His back arched into Finn's touch.   
  
A smart smack on one ass cheek made Roman pull his face up and chuckle. He was met with another smack, this one harder, and a growl from Finn. "Okay, okay. I'll get back to work."   
  
Finn moaned contently as Roman took him back in his mouth. He switched back and forth between Roman's hole and pulsing cock.   
  
Soon, Finn's body started to tighten. His orgasm was close. Very close. Oh. Roman's mouth felt so good. It made him forget every worry he has ever had.   
  
"Fuck," Finn gasped. He bucked his hips up. "Babe, I'm gonna cum."   
  
Roman let go and moved off Finn's sweaty body. He moved up the bed and sat beside Finn's head, watching Finn's hands fly down and pump fast and hard at his swollen flesh. Roman ran a hand through Finn's short hair as his other hand jerked his saliva slicked girth.   
  
A long low moan tumbled out of Finn as his legs trembled and twitched. Cum shot out and landed on Finn's body. He was a mess of panting and swearing, body shaking in orgasm.   
  
Roman licked his lips watching Finn cum. He genuinely adored the way Finn's body reacted when he ejaculated. It felt better when Roman was balls deep in Finn, but knowing he made Finn become this boneless heap beside him was good either way.   
  
Finn was still muttering curse words when he flipped onto his stomach and put his head on Roman's hip. He was close to Roman's pumping fist, watching Roman get himself off.   
  
His foggy mind made it hard to think, but Finn still managed to bring his hand up and wrap it over Roman's long fingers. He joined the motion and helped Roman pump his hand.   
  
Roman rumbled, his head falling back. Cum slipped down both his and Finn's hands.   
  
Finn had watched with bog eyes as that thick cock had pulsed and dripped that hot white cum. He whined unconsciously. Roman looked down at him with hazy brown eyes, a brow raised in question.   
  
"I know we haven't talked about this," Finn's voice was hoarse. He sat up, careful not to move the hand covered in cum too much. "But I really want to eat your load."   
  
Brown eyes widened a fraction but lowered again. He ran his clean hand through his sweat damp hair. "You want to clean me up, baby boy?"   
  
Finn nodded, not looking Roman in the eye.   
  
Roman cleared his throat softly. "I'm clean. Haven't been with anyone but you for a long time. So I'm okay with it. But I don't bareback unless I'm dating someone."   
  
A pang hit Finn's heart but he pushed it away. "I understand."   
  
Roman laid back against the bed. "Well? Before it dries off, baby boy."   
  
Finn looked up at Roman and smirked. He grabbed Roman's cum coated hand and let his tongue clean the long digits. Then he cleaned his own hand. His finished by leaning down and taking Roman's softening dick in his mouth and taking in whatever cum had lingered there. He straightened up and swallowed, blue eyes closing.   
  
"Fuck," Roman whispered. "Such a hungry boy. Sexy."   
  
Finn grinned at him. Then he laid down and wrapped his arms around Roman so they could get some sleep.   
  
Roman sighed and relaxed into the bed. Finn was the complete opposite of this morning, but he wouldn't push it. He at least made the made feel good tonight. Roman was sleeping in no time.   
  
Finn kissed Roman's chest, over his heart. He was Roman's.   
  
But he would have to confess to the big man soon. He couldn't hold his heart back this long. Especially with the fissure lines ready to shatter it into tiny peices.   
  


* * *

  
 **October 27, 2018**    
  
Roman had a match against Braun during the house show tonight. Nothing new. There was maybe an hour before his match so he just watched at the monitor area. Seth stood beside him, the two titles on his shoulders despite the obvious missing ball of drama that was his tag team partner, Dean. Dean tended to stay away from them now.   
  
It annoyed Roman. But Roman understood that the man wouldn't come near him if Seth was around. And Roman wasn't going to push Seth away for Dean. He was friends with them both.   
  
Finn had a match against Bobby Lashley soon. Roman watched as the Irishman walked through the monitor area.   
  
Ocean blue eyes looked up at him as they passed him by. A smirk played on those reddened lips.   
  
Roman's eyes raked over the body, admiring the way the baby oil glistened over the muscles. The trunks road up a little, giving anyone who looked a view of a silky ass cheek. And the way those hips sauntered away. Oof. Finn looked at him with bedroom eyes and Roman was sure he was willing to match it.   
  
"You're drooling," Seth's snarky voice pulled Roman out of his thoughts.   
  
"What can I say?" Roman muttered, still watching Finn walk out of sight. "He's got a great mouth."   
  
Seth made a face. A grimace. "I didn't need to know that," he said. "Why are you still denying that you should date him? You can't keep your hands off him. Casual fucking isn't rooming with someone several times a week, Ro."   
  
Roman rolled his eyes and just ignored Seth's prying. He picked up the Universal Championship from his lap and started walking towards the locker room. "I'll be back."   
  
He heard Seth scoff and it made him smirk.   
  
A closet off to the side was left ajar and he had a feeling it was waiting for him. He walked in and found Finn leaning against some shelves of cleaners, a hand palming over his trunks.   
  
"Now what if it wasn't me?" Roman joked, closing the door behind him and turning the dead bolt. He put the championship down.   
  
Finn smirked. "Well then they would be in for a real big surprise, because I am so horny."   
  
Roman grabbed Finn and took the man in his arms. They embraced, kissing hungrily. "Not the first time you've sported wood in the ring before."   
  
Finn chuckled.   
  
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday had been torture. Roman kept thinking about Finn. Not Dean or Seth. Sometimes about John. But Mostly Finn. Mostly Finn's eyes and his laugh. And the way Finn's face had streaked with tears that monday night after his nightmare about him. Roman wanted to just hold Finn these passed three days.   
  
Not that he would admit that to anyone, especially Seth. Seth would just nag him about dating Finn. But Roman denied it. He was attracted to Finn. That much was extremely obvious. That he wouldn't deny. But it was physical -carnal. Nothing more.   
  
Roman turned Finn around in his arms and knelt. He slipped his hands under the tight black trunks and massaged those round firm cheeks. "We don't have time, baby boy. You have a match soon."   
  
Finn groaned. "Don't say that and massage my ass at the same time."   
  
A grin played on Roman's face. "Why not? Is it turning you on?"   
  
"I'm going to have to use adhesive tape like the girls do to make sure my trunks don't pull up."   
  
It was Roman's turn to laugh. "Won't that pull on your pubes during the match."   
  
Roman lifted Finn's trunks up so he could get a better view of the ass he adored eating. He leaned forward and sucked tenderly on one ass cheek, making the fair skin red. He took a second to admire the mark. He had a particular appreciation for that color red on Finn.   
  
Finn groaned. "Shit. I'd rather take a little waxing then my erection popping out during the match."   
  
Roman slipped a finger down Finn's crack and pressed against the hot hole. Not enough to go in, but enough to make Finn's cock twitch behind the tight black trunks.   
  
"You gotta go. Match is about to start," Roman reminded, taking a step back. He licked his lips. He wished they had time. He wanted to have his face stuffed in that ass right now.   
  
Finn tried to level his breathing. He stayed facing the wall, ass still half-hanging out of his trunks. Erection almost popping out. He whined a little.   
  
"Now, now," Roman chided with a smirk. "Later I'll make sure to take care of you, but it's work time."   
  
Finn turned and looked at Roman, pouting. "I'm driving back to my place tonight with Bayley and Sasha."   
  
Roman nodded. "So no play time tonight." He sounded disapointed.   
  
Finn grinned suddenly. "You can come to my place. I mean, if you want."   
  
"You don't mind?" Roman asked, circling his arms around Finn and idly fixing Finn's trunks. "I'd have to leave in the evening to get to North Carolina for media."   
  
"I'm going to Evolution tomorrow night so that's okay."   
  
Roman looked at Finn and felt the need to kiss the man. "Yeah, I'll stay the night at your place, then."   
  
Finn beamed and kissed Roman sweetly.   
  
Roman patted Finn's ass and the Irishman took that as the cue to go to his match.   
  
Roman waited a few minutes before walking out of the closet and back to the monitor area. He had no idea why he agreed to go to Brooklyn, to Finn's apartment for the night. It was out of his way, honestly. He'd have to book a flight. As he stood back beside Seth, he tapped away on his phone and set up his flight for tomorrow.   
  
Seth looked over Roman's shoulder. He realized as he did so that it was probably a bad idea. Roman had been so sexually driven lately who knows what kind of stuff he was looking at on his phone. Seth wouldn't be all the shocked to see photos of Finn bent over. Not that he needed that mental picture. He was scarred enough by that night weeks ago when he could hear Roman having phone sex.   
  
It felt like forever ago now.   
  
Seth saw the flight information and frowned. "I thought we were driving down tomorrow."   
  
Roman looked up at his and put his phone away. "Change of plans. I'm riding with Finn up to Brooklyn."   
  
"Who the fuck am I riding to the hotel with then?"   
  
Roman shrugged. "Uh... Bayley?"   
  
"Dude," Seth sighed. He ran a hand through his hair. "Is she even okay with this?"   
  
Roman shrugged again. "I don't know. You can ask her."   
  
"Me? You're the one who wants to change shit so you can handy Finn in the car."   
  
A laugh rumbled in Roman's chest and he gave Seth a side-eyed glance. "No, I want him to suck me off while I drive."   
  
What can only be described as a scream of disgust tore out of Seth's mouth. His face was contorted in revulsion. Roman was sure Seth might just throw up. Seth muttered something about never being able to look Finn in the eye ever again and how he should have never gotten involved in Roman's love life. Roman was sure he even heard "This is all Dean's fault for telling me about John."   
  
Roman rolled his eyes. "I'm joking dumbass. I'm just going to spend time with the guy. You're the one who keeps pushing this."   
  
"Yeah, but not at my expense."   
  
A brow rose in question. "What's wrong with riding with Bayley? Aren't you guys gym buddies?" Roman asked, a bit defensive of the woman who scared him a little.   
  
Seth looked away and sighed. He crossed his arms over his chest. "We are. She's great. But what if Nikki sees?" Ah, yes. Roman almost forgot Seth's crush on Nikki Bella. "What if she thinks I'm with Bayley or something."   
  
Roman shrugged for the third time during the conversation. His brows were both arched high. "Or she'll get jealous and end up wanting you more."   
  
Seth was quiet for a few minutes. Roman could practically see the gears working in Seth's head. "Fine. I'll go talk to Bayley."   
  
He watched as Seth shuffled through the superstars watching the monitor and sat in an empty seat beside Bayley and Sasha.   
  
Roman caught a beautiful brunette on the other side of the room watch Seth and Bayley talk. Her face soured just a bit, lips pressing together and eyes hard, when Seth and Bayley laughed at something Roman couldn't hear. Interesting. Maybe Roman was right. Maybe Nikki would get jealous.   
  
To be honest, Roman had only said that for Seth to agree to ride with Bayley. He didn't actually think Nikki liked Seth. Not that he would break his brother's heart with that information. But Roman was sure Nikki was like him.   
  
Not looking for a relationship unless it involved John Cena.   
  
And despite being a sort of- but not really- rival to John's heart, Roman still felt bad for Nikki. Always treated like a slut. Always reminded of her trainwreck ending with John. Roman envied Nikki because she had John's love. He pitied her for losing it.   
  
Roman sighed and looked back at Seth, who looked physically comfortable while talking to Bayley and Sasha. He wasn't even conscious that he had Nikki's attention at the moment. Oblivious.   
  
Hey, Roman mused. Maybe he just hooked Seth up with his future wife and he didn't even mean to.   
  
Though, Roman had a feeling as he watched Seth cackle at Bayley's jokes, that Nikki might not be her.   
  


* * *

  
They had been on the road only a half hour when Finn's phone rang, breaking the comfortable silence. Finn looked down and grinned. Roman gave him a raised eyebrow, but kept his eyes on the highway.   
  
"Bayley."   
  
Roman rolled his eyes. "If she's calling to complain about Seth's music taste, tell her she's shit out of luck because he's stubborn."   
  
Finn chuckled and finally answered the call.   
  
"Finn!" Bayley's voice rang out over the speaker. Joyful.   
  
"Bayley!" Finn cheered back.   
  
"Finny, I miss my singing partner."   
  
Roman and Finn both laughed.   
  
"I know Seth can't sing but it can't be that bad," Roman joked.   
  
"Fuck off!" Seth's voice joined the conversation. Bayley must have them on speaker phone.   
  
Roman looked at Finn and winked. He leaned a little to the side, closer to Finn's phone, though he didn't need to. "Bayley, is there a particular reason you called? Finn was just about to show me some of his... mic skills."   
  
Finn had to hold back his laughter as they both heard uncomfortable nises from Seth and Bayley. Bayley was coughing and Seth was groaning.   
  
Then a third voice joined in. "No fucking way."   
  
"Oh, hey Sasha," Finn chuckled. "How's it going?"   
  
"Oh no," Sasha said. "Don't 'how's it going' me. Why am I the last one to know about this?"   
  
"About what?" Finn asked, playing dumb.   
  
"You two!" She exclaimed.   
  
Finn's lips twisted in a devious smirk. "You mean Bayley didn't tell you? What a horrible best friend."   
  
"You're dead to me, Balor," Bayley chimed in, an obvious humor in her tone.   
  
"Love you too, sweet cheeks," Finn said. "Well gotta go practice my ... promos on Roman. See you at Evolution."   
  
They heard a soft bang, probably Seth banging his head on the dash board, as Finn ended the call.   
  
Finn looked over at Roman with half-lidded eyes, no longer smirking. "So what was that about?"   
  
Roman chuckled. "I made a joke to Seth earlier about you blowing me while I drove."   
  
"Do you want me to?" Finn asked softly, truly curious.   
  
Brown eyes looked away from the road and glanced at the Irishman. "Nah. I'm not a fan of possibly crashing the car. You're mouth is so extraordinary and I wouldn't be able to concentrate."   
  
Finn's eyes blazed with heat as he grinned. "Well I am an extraordinary man who does extraordinary things."   
  
Roman rolled his eyes. "Dork."   
  
Finn relaxed into the warm seat and yawned. "An extraordinary dork, thank you."   
  
The chit chat was kept at a minimum as Roman drove and Finn played on his phone. The radio had on some soft indie that neither man was paying attention to. Eventually Finn dozed off. He looked peaceful as he slept.   
  
And Roman was reminded again of Finn's nightmare days ago and how tragically beautiful his tear streaked face had been.   
  
But Roman would admit any day, that Finn was a beautiful crier, but he was much more breathtaking when he smiled happily.   
  
They were getting close to the exit for Brooklyn and Finn was shifting in his sleep. He had a deep frown in place. Roman rubbed his hand through Finn's soft hair. "Hey, baby boy, wake up. Tell me how to get to your place."   
  
Finn startled awake. He grabbed Roman's hand from his head and kissed it as he opened his blue eyes.   
  
Roman gave him a wary smile. "You okay?"   
  
Finn looked at him, face blank but eyes glassy from sleep. "Yeah. Must be all the back and forth traveling this week."   
  
He didn't believe Finn, but Roman wasn't going to press it. "What exit do I take?"   
  
Blue eyes looked out the car window. He looked like he was thinking before telling Roman the best way to go. And as Finn explained, Roman kept his frown at bay. Finn was having another bad dream. He hoped it wasn't about him.   
  
He hoped that he wasn't making Finn have bad dreams. The idea just didn't sit well with Roman.   
  


* * *

  
Seth sat on his hotel bed, flipping through the channels.   
  
He had gotten to the hotel with Bayley and Sasha not long ago. It was a fun ride. He hadn't had a fun car ride like that in months. Riding with Dean and Roman had been balls of angst and stress. Riding with Roman was just him ignoring the fact that Roman was obviously texting John Cena.   
  
Sigh.   
  
Seth really did not like how in love Roman was with John Cena. The dude was just not right for Roman. He was straight, for one. And he was never around. He didn't want kids. Roman already had a kid. What was Roman thinking? John was not at all who Seth would choose for Roman from the roster.   
  
In fact, Seth has made that perfectly clear to Roman.   
  
Okay sure. So it didn't have to be Finn Balor. It could be someone else. Just not Cena.   
  
But Finn was clearly in love with Roman. Roman was honestly the only person who couldn't see that.   
  
For a long time Seth had noticed how Finn's entire face lit up when Roman came in the room. Like years. Seriously. And Seth was sure when Roman and Finn started screwing Roman would see it to. But nope. Oblivious fool.   
  
But so was Seth, wasn't he?   
  
He was pining after someone who most likely saw him as a friend and a coworker.   
  
But Nikki Bella was amazing. A hard worker if he ever saw one. Beautiful. Caring. Funny.   
  
And totally still in love with John Cena.   
  
Fuck. Was everyone in love with Cena except for him and Balor?   
  
Maybe that's why he didn't want Roman with Cena. Because he held the heart of the woman Seth wanted and it made Seth despise him. Okay. Despise was a bit harsh. But still.   
  
A text buzzed at his phone.   
  
He grabbed it from the night stand where it was charging. A text from Nikki.   
  
Nikki...?!   
  
Seth bolted up. He ran a hand through his messy hair and tried to straighten his rumpled t-shirt. He had no clue why he was fixing his appearance for a text message. But he was.   
  
Before he could read the message a knock came to his door.   
  
He was surprisingly popular this late at night.   
  
His doe shaped eyes glanced at his phone, but sighed. He got off the bed, not caring much that he was in boxers and an old faded t-shirt. He was curious about Nikki and had half the mind to tell whoever was at the door to fuck off.   
  
Mouth open to snap at the person who might have just interrupted a pivotal moment of his love life, Seth opened the door.   
  
It was Bayley. A sheepish smile on her face.   
  
"Hey," She said.   
  
He gave her a questioning look. "Hey?"   
  
"Sorry," She held her hands up and he noticed she had her bags with her. "Do you mind if I bunk with you tonight. Sasha is... busy. And I would stay with Nattie, but she's with Tyson. And I don't really get along with some of the other girls so-"   
  
Seth held a hand up for her to stop. "Yeah come in. I only got one bed though."   
  
Honestly, Seth remembered those nights Renee and Dean had officially gotten together and Seth was still rooming with Dean. He had to leave many nights and find Roman's room or something. It's why he and Roman had started rooming together automatically.   
  
Bayley's lips pressed together. Her big eyes glanced at the regular sized bed with a hint of hesitation.   
  
"I can sleep on the floor if-"   
  
Seth shook his head. "If you promise not to jump me in my sleep, I think we can manage being in the same bed for a night."   
  
Bayley laughed and looked over her shoulder to where Seth was standing near the door he had just closed. "Don't get full of yourself Rollins. I'm single not desperate."   
  
Seth's mouth dropped open. His eyes glittered with amusement. "Wow. Okay," He walked by Bayley and nudged his shoulder into hers. "No need to hurt my feelings."   
  
She playfully shoved Seth and scoffed. "You have feelings? I thought you were all coffee and crossfit."   
  
He was laughing as he climbed back onto the bed. "Shut up."   
  
He missed the playful smile on her lips as she turned to put her bags off to the side. She excused herself and went to the bathroom with a change of clothes. He didn't even spare her a glance.   
  
The phone with an unread text message laid off to the side, forgotten about.   
  
Seth scratched idly at his beard as he got underneath the generic floral bed spread. A yawn left his lips just as Bayley came back out. He looked over unconsciously. Her makeup was cleaned off, hair in a messy bun. A ratty Paramore t-shirt was too big on her and it almost covered up the baby blue pajama shorts she had on. Seth rarely saw Bayley with her legs out. She mostly wore pants, even to the gym when they went together. Unless she had to dress up for media. She had nice legs.   
  
Bayley bent down to put her stuff away, her shorts covering very little. Seth looked away quickly. He didn't want to invade her privacy like that. He respected Bayley. She was a great friend. And staring at her ass before they awkwardly climbed into bed together in the most platonic friendship way possible? That wasn't cool.   
  
He felt the bed dip as she got under the covers beside him. He had a decent sized body, but he made sure to give her enough room.   
  
Bayley looked over at him before reaching to the night stand and switching off the light there, sending the room into relative darkness. Just the balcony door let in the shadows and lights from outside.   
  
"Night, Seth."   
  
"Good night."   
  
The next morning, Seth woke up first.   
  
He reached over and swiped his finger over his phone screen, shutting off the alarm. His vision was blurry and he had to blink a few times to clear it. He turned to the side and came face to face with Bayley.   
  
She was still sound asleep, features peaceful. A tiny bit of drool on her chin reflected light. Seth found himself wiping the drool away with his thumb before he could stop himself. Bayley stirred and her eyes slowly opened.   
  
Their eyes locked. Bayley smiled awkwardly before rubbing her face with both hands. "Good morning," she mumbled.   
  
Seth grunted a reply before quickly climbing out of bed, suddenly aware of his morning wood. He rushed to the bathroom.   
  
He didn't see it as he practically jogged away, but Bayley's eyes trailed after him. They lingered on the tent he was trying to cover up. She bit her lip. But then she snickered.   
  


* * *

  
 **October 28, 2018**    
  
A single crow cawed through the fog. It was perched on the glowing red string tied to Finn's pinky finger. A long beep ripped through the air and it shattered the string. The crow flew up just in time to not fall into the abyss. It flew away, leaving the red ashes to sparkle in the air.   
  
Finn shot up, breathing heavy. Sweat trickled down his back.   
  
Shit. Another bad dream.   
  
He knew his dreams were telling him something. He knew they were talking about Roman and him. He knew they meant that he and Roman weren't going to be anything. It was obvious to him. He didn't need to psychoanalyze himself. But good Lord. He was tired of waking up to them.   
  
His ocean water eyes scanned his room. Roman wasn't there but he could hear the water running from the bathroom.   
  
His dreams always resulted in a long beep. Like a heart monitor proclaiming death. And it made Finn's heart clench. He needed to see Roman. Right now. He had to hold him. To feel him. To know that he still had Roman. Even for just a little while longer.   
  
Finn almost fell over his and Roman's discarded clothes as he rushed to the bathroom. Last night they had gotten to his apartment and spent a few hours fucking like rabbits. They hadn't exactly had the time to be neat with their clothes and bags. Now Finn wished they had because he almost fell again over Roman's sneakers.   
  
He pushed the door to his bathroom open and felt the weight lift from his shoulders.   
  
Roman.   
  
His Roman.   
  
Finn walked in and slid the shower door open, stepping in behind the big Samoan body.   
  
Roman looked over his shoulder at Finn with a smirk on his lips. "Good morning, sleepy-head."   
  
Finn kissed a spot between Roman's shoulder blades. He didn't dare speak. He couldn't trust his voice. Instead he took the bar of soap out of Roman's hand and ran it up and down Roman's back, slow and methodical. When he deemed Roman's back clean he grabbed the bottle of Roman's shampoo from where he had placed it on the edge of the tub. He lathered the long dark curls, taking deep breaths of the smell he adored.   
  
Roman hummed as Finn's fingers massaged his scalp. "Still offering that personal shampoo boy position if you want it."   
  
Finn smiled, still keeping his voice to himself. He could still feel the emotions coarse through his blood from the nightmare. He couldn't allow himself to show that vulnerability again.   
  
Roman turned around and gave Finn an arched brow. "You have another bad dream?"   
  
Slowly, Finn nodded, not looking Roman in the eyes, despite feeling his soul crave the eye contact.   
  
"You want to tell me about it?"   
  
He shook his head this time. "Don't want to talk about it right now."   
  
 _Just want to be with you_    
  
Finn leaned in and took Roman's lips in his. They kissed for a slow minute, letting the water beat on Roman's back. Their eyes closed, hoping to not get soap in them. It was tender. It was what Finn needed at that second.   
  
Roman circled his arms around Finn tightly, not caring that Shampoo was running down his face. He just had to hold Finn.   
  
He could deny it all he wanted, but Roman had a feeling that he may just like Finn.   
  
He told himself it was just the amazing sex.   
  
Yeah. It was just the sex. It was lust not like.   
  
He loved John Cena. Not Finn Balor.   
  


* * *

  
They had decided to watch movies after going to the gym together. It was an easy afternoon so far. They were laughing and joking. Roman was giggly.   
  
It warmed Finn's heart. He was in heaven living his life like this. Casual. Comfortable. Short kisses shared as they cuddled on the couch. Not Sexual. Not carnal. Just intimate.   
  
"What do you want for lunch?" Finn asked, feeling his stomach rumble in hunger.   
  
Roman laughed. He could hear Finn's stomach, too. "I can make something if you want?"   
  
Finn's perfectly arched brows shot up. "You don't have to."   
  
"I feel like it," Roman proclaimed. He didn't even wait for Finn to even say anything. He just got up and went to the kitchen, searching the area for something he can make.   
  
Finn watched from the couch as Roman rummaged his entire kitchen for anything he needed. He had to admit, he had very little since he was only home a day or so a week. But he assumed the other superstars were the same. He pretty much only had non-perishables and anything that can survive being frozen.   
  
Roman seemed satisfied enough, thawing some chicken breast and grabbing some frozen veggies. He dug out a bottle of beer from the back of the fridge and whatever random spices he could manage to find. Finn didn't have many. Was Finn embarrassed by his kitchen? Yeah. A little.   
  
Finn smiled as Roman stood at the counter putting together the meal for them. It was extremely sexy to see the man he loved in his kitchen cooking. It was enticing. Finn just wanted to grab hold of him and live that domestic life.   
  
Domestic bliss.   
  
He could feel his heart clench and a longing wash over him.   
  
Finn walked up behind Roman and put his hands on the small of the large back, running them up, pressing into the muscles like he was massaging the firm frame.   
  
Roman hummed contently and looked back at Finn over his shoulder.   
  
“You should live with me. I'd like to have a live in maid.”   
  
“Is the uniform a little black dress or a black tux”   
  
“Not smart of you to think clothing was an option.”   
  
Roman laughed and turned to be face to face with the smaller man. He leaned against the counter, his hands gripping the marble edge. “You don't cook?”   
  
“I do. But there is something very sexy about a man who cooks.”   
  
Roman smirked. “Well then I can't bring you around my family. All the men can cook. You’d be in a weird situation if you found all my male relatives sexy.”   
  
Finn laughed, throwing his head back. “Who said I didn't already?”   
  
Roman bit his lip watching Finn stick his tongue out. “Yep. Never inviting you over when we're in Florida.”   
  
Finn feigned a sigh. “Shit and here I was hoping to be introduced as your mistress.”   
  
Roman shook his head at the sarcasm. He rolled his eyes. Then he turned back around to the almost ready meal.   
  
Finn reached behind Roman and took a piece of carrot and ate it with humor in his eyes.   
  
Roman rolled his eyes. “Hands off until its ready baby boy. Don’t make me beat you up.”   
  
Finn winked, this cocky grin stretching his face. Those blue eyes twinkled like ocean water under the moon.“I can kick your ass and you know it.”   
  
“You can also fuck my ass, but that isn't happening right now is it?”   
  
Finns blue orbs went wide. “You mean you bottoming is an option?” Roman nodded, amused grin in place. “Why haven't we discussed this before?”   
  
“You never asked.”   
  
Finn groaned. He closed his eyes and willed away the idea of Roman beneath him, thick legs wrapped around his hips. “If I wasn't actually hungry, I'd have you on my kitchen table right now.”   
  
Roman laughed. “No time tonight. You have a public appearance to make.”   
  
“Don’t you give me that again. You said that yesterday and I had to go face Lashley with a hard on. There is always time for a good fuck.”   
  
Roman exaggerated a sigh. “Fine,” he drawled. “If you say so.” It bordered on whining. But Finn couldn’t see his grin.   
  
It felt amazing to have time to get to know one another. Peaceful. No other care in the world.   
  
No looming title matches. No fighting friends. No booing or cheering fans trying to harass you for pictures. No anger. No panic.   
  
Just Finn.   
  
Just Roman.   
  
Having dinner in Finn’s apartment, laughing at some movie playing on TV, chit chatting about any and everything that came to mind.   
  
Finn was setting the table as Roman finished cooking. They had started talking about comic book characters. They turned into young kids again, talking about their favorites.   
  
And as the food hit the table, the conversation switched to movies. They sat together, eating. They would add to the conversation between bites of steaming hot food.   
  
Finn tried not to think about out much this felt like a date. Their first date.   
  
What a way to work backwards. First came blowjobs and then came dates… then comes Finn with a baby carriage…. Wait that’s not how that nursery rhyme goes. Close enough, Finn mused, chuckling to himself.   
  
“What’s so funny?” Roman asked. He soft brown eyes watched as Finn continued to smirk down at his food, admiring the sharp features.   
  
“I was thinking about how monogamous we are acting despite being fuck buddies.”   
  
Roman pursed his lips, mulling over Finn’s statement. “I guess so.... . We sure are backwards, huh? Sex before getting to know each other.”   
  
Finn hummed around the bite of food he was chewing. He swallowed (Roman trying not to watch the way Finn’s adam’s apple bobbed with the action). “Well, it’s not like we were exactly close friends before we agreed to whatever it is we are.”   
  
He watched Finn eat another bite, catching the way his features hardened. As if Finn was trying not to show his emotions. Roman found it interesting. He saw Finn’s face when he came undone and his body twitched in orgasm. But other than that night where Finn had that nightmare about him, Finn wouldn’t show emotion.   
  
He was stoic if not laughing or grinning.   
  
And it nagged at Roman. He wanted to know Finn’s emotions. He wanted to see them all.   
  
“I’ve never actually done the whole friends with benefits thing before you,” Roman admitted.   
  
“Me either.”   
  
“Have you been in alot of relationships?” Roman asked, suddenly curious.   
  
After a pause to think, Finn’s brows arched. “Only a few I would actually count as relationships. Some one night stands.”   
  
Roman nodded. “Nothing serious? No almost Mr. and Mr. Balor.”   
  
Finn chuckled before taking a sip of water. “Never that far. I was with someone for a few years back before I went to Japan. She wasn’t too keen on me wanting to move far away for a few months. So I broke up with her.”   
  
Roman shoved the last bite from his plate in his mouth as he listened to Finn’s brogue accent. He then leaned back and let his eyes study Finn freely. “So you’re bi?”   
  
“Hm, I guess we never did talk about that,” Finn smirked. He pushed his plate back, resting a hand on his full stomach. The other hand scratched at his beard, lazily. “Yeah, guess so. Never really labeled it. I like women, but my tastes go more towards men. You?... Well I mean, Obviously you like women. You have a daughter after all.”   
  
Roman chuckled, eyes lowering to his hand as it picked at the napkin on the table unconsciously. “Bi. Pretty even actually. Mostly been with women, though. It’s easier in this business. Hard to hide personal lives, nowadays.”   
  
Finn nodded. He understood completely.   
  
“You ever fuck anyone else on the roster.”   
  
Roman’s eyes widened a fraction at Finn’s bluntness. “I don’t kiss and tell,” he joked.   
  
Finn’s eyebrow arched, but his lips didn’t twitch in a smile. “Oh yeah? Damn and here I was hoping for juicy gossip.”   
  
“Nothing to gossip about,” Roman laughed. “I’ve never slept with anyone else on the roster. Just you.”   
  
“Not even Seth or Dean?”   
  
“Well, now you sound like those crazy fanfiction writers,” Roman grinned. This entire conversation was entertaining. “Nah. They’re strictly straight.”   
  
Finn leaned in, resting his chin on his propped up hand. “Never thought about it?”   
  
He made a face. “Never. They’re good looking guys, but they’re my brothers. I just can’t think of them like that. Like you and Karl.”   
  
“Oh, we’ve slept together,” Finn deadpanned   
  
Roman’s eyes went wide. “Really?” he asked. But he got his answer when Finn broadly grinned.   
  
“Hell no. He’s the sister I never wanted,” Finn laughed.   
  
Roman laughed, too. “Thank god. No offense to Anderson, but that’s not the person I want to think fucking you.”   
  
Finn’s grin turned sly, eyelids lowering. “Yeah? You think about other guys fucking me?”   
  
Roman’s face colored a fraction. “Not what I meant,” he muttered.   
  
“You’re avoiding the question,” Finn teased. “But it’s okay. I’ll find out sooner or later.”   
  
Roman groaned. He stood up grabbing the plates. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’ve never thought about you with anyone else. Pretty sure you riding my dick is the only imagery I need.”   
  
Finn took the plates from Roman’s hands and walked them over to the sink. “Wow. Babe. You sure know how to woo a girl.”   
  
He rolled his eyes, moving over beside Finn at the sink, ready to help. But Finn nudged him away. “You cooked. I’ll clean,” Finn ordered.   
  
He backed up and went over to the couch. “Yes, dear.”   
  
Finn sent him another sly look over his shoulder, hands turning on the faucet. “Good. Happy wife, happy life, Roman.”   
  
Roman shook his head. He grabbed his phone from the coffee table and checked it for the first time all afternoon. But he got bored of it quickly. He shifted on the plush leather couch so he could watch Finn washing the dishes.   
  
Finn’s toned body leaned over the sink. The t-shirt road up a little against the counter. And the soft material of the basketball shorts hung low on those hips. Roman’s eyes followed the curve of Finn’s back down to the plump ass.   
  
Was this what it felt like to live with someone? It had been a long time since he lived with someone he was dating. Well, he wasn’t dating Finn. But this felt similar to back then. He hadn’t slept with anyone since he and Finn started fucking. And he was sure Finn was as faithful.   
  
So they were platonically monogamous?   
  
Roman suddenly pictured Finn in just an apron cooking him breakfast and it was a delicious sight to imagine. Roman watched as Finn’s body shimmied as he scrubbed at the pan he used to sear the chicken. He couldn’t help licking his bottom lip. He would love to slap that ass right now and watch it jiggle.   
  
He got off the couch and crossed the short distance to the kitchen. He circled his arms around Finn’s body, reaching for the faucet and shutting it off. Then his hands found a place on Finn’s toned chest, feeling it behind the flimsy cotton shirt.   
  
Finn’s body leaned into his. Water dripped from his wet hands as they dropped to his sides. Roman licked a strip of Finn’s neck up to take the earlobe in his teeth. He nipped it then blew cool air on it. “Finish the dishes later. I’m hungry for dessert.” His voice was thick and heavy. Just like the erection pressed against Finn's ass.   
  
A shakey moan slipped past Finn’s open mouth. He closed his eyes and felt Roman’s hot breath on his neck, sending shivers up and down his body.   
  
Roman slid his hands down the muscles as he knelt down. He tugged down the shorts and moved Finn’s feet until he was able to slip the mesh material off. They were simply tossed to the side. Roman was no longer surprised that Finn had no underwear on. He wondered briefly if it was just for him.   
  
Finn gripped the counter as he felt Roman spread him apart. That fat tongue went to work on him, lapping at him like his ass was life saving water.   
  
His legs trembled. Roman was so into it today. He was poking and flicking his tongue. Every so often a nibble would land on one of the round cheeks. Finn moaned as Roman’s long fingers gripped his hard dripping cock, giving it firm tugs.   
  
Roman’s tongue left his hole and moved down to the leaking head. It swirled around and then slowly, teasingly, went back up. Roman took a ball in his mouth and suckled it gently then gave the other the same treatment. Finally, his hot tongue made it back up to Finn’s twitching hole.   
  
Finn could feel his body tighten, ready to cum. “Shit. Babe. Stop. I’m gonna blow.”   
  
Roman smirked and leaned back on his heels. He looked at the trembling panting mess of a man in front of him. “I love that I can get you like this with just a rimjob.” He reached his thumb forward, pressing into the spit slicked hole. He wiggled the thumb quickly.   
  
Finn tried to step forward, away from the pleasure, but he was cornered by the sink. He didn’t want to come just yet. “Fuck. Roman. Just Fuck me already.”   
  
Roman stood, smirk playing on his lips. Those plump lips were wet and shiny in the warm lights of the kitchen. Finn watched him from the corner of his eyes, still panting, trying to calm the orgasm from the edge.   
  
The Samoan man walked off, most likely to his bags in the bedroom. He came back not even a minute later, lube and condom in hand. But for Finn it felt like forever.   
  
He turned around and faced the beautiful caramel skinned man. Roman leaned in for a kiss, chaste. Then he tore the condom wrapper open and slid it on his girth.   
  
Finn was about to turn around and bend over the sink, but Roman picked the man up, scooping Finn up so his muscular legs draped over Roman's elbows. He held Finn up like the man was light as a feather.   
  
Roman thrusted up easily. When had he put on lube? Finn wondered. When had Roman removed his clothes? Was he so turned on that his brain was foggy? It must be. But that was normal with Finn when Roman was touching him like this. He just forgot everything. Sometimes he even forgot how to breathe. If it wasn’t an unconscious reaction to gasp when Roman hit his prostate, Finn would have died from suffocation by now.   
  
The pace was hard and fast, making Finn’s body bounce up and down.   
  
As he moaned, Finn leaned forward and nipped along Roman’s square jaw, down the strong neck, until he reached a spot he found fit to suck on.   
  
Roman jack-hammered into him. Finn held on for dear life, dull nails scraping the broad back. The sound of slapping skin filled the apartment.   
  
“Yeah babe, use me,” Finn groaned. Blue eyes screwed shut. Pleasure becoming unbearable. He was moaning with each thrust up from Roman's hips.   
  
“Does it feel that good?” Roman panted. “You’re smiling.”   
  
Finn chuckled, eyes opening just enough to look at the Samoan man’s face. “Am I?”   
  
Roman stopped thrusting and walked them over to the table in a swift two steps. He laid Finn onto the cleared table and started fucking the man again, just as hard. “It’s fucking hot, baby boy. I like knowing that I can make you like this.”   
  
The toned legs fell from where they were hooked over Roman's arms and fell apart against the table. His flexibility was a gift, truly. With the added space, Roman leaned in closer, fitting flush against Finn’s sexy thighs and ass. Roman snapped his hips into the heat. Finn’s panting turned into short gasps.   
  
“Fuck I’m gonna cum,” Finn mumbled. He grabbed a hold of his leaking cock and pumped it furiously. His ocean blue hues locked with Roman’s and he licked his bottom lip. A strangled low groan tumbled out of his open mouth. Hot cum shot up and landed on his chest, his stomach, the table top.   
  
As Finn’s body twitched with ecstasy, his hole tightened around Roman’s cock. “Shit. Feels so good.”   
  
A hand grabbed Finn by the back of the neck, forcing him to lean his head back. Roman kissed him roughly, growling into his mouth.   
  
Finn felt the cock that was stretching him so deliciously twitch in him. Roman’s head went back, a long moan matching the long thrusts he continued to give. The sheen of sweat made the tattoo shine under the lights. Those brown eyes were shut and his face was so serene.   
  
Finn could study Roman’s cum face for days and fall only deeper and deeper into love.   
  
Roman pressed his lips to Finn’s own. He slipped his tongue in and savored the taste of Finn’s sweet mouth. Those strong hands ran up and down the chiseled sides of Finn's body, as they continued to kiss.   
  
He pulled out, leaving Finn with an empty feeling, but they stayed kissing for a few minutes, letting the pleasure calm down. Strips of hair that had fallen from Roman’s bun stuck to his sweaty face and Finn moved them, letting his fingers trail to the back of Roman’s neck and taking a firm hold.   
  
Several drawn-out minutes passed before Roman was off of Finn’s body and the Irishman was sitting up.   
  
Finn’s eyes flickered over to the sink and he laughed. “I have no energy to wash the dishes now.”   
  
“I can do it.”   
  
A dismissive wave was all Finn managed. He hopped off the table and bent to the floor to grab his shorts. He used the material to clean the cum from his chest and the table top. He thought for a second about whether or not he should go put on new shorts before shrugging. He slipped the dirty material back on and shuffled over to the couch, sitting down heavily. A content sigh filled the quiet room.   
  
Finn looked over at Roman who was redressed. The bigger man sat beside him. The tattooed arm wrapped around Finn’s body, bringing him close and they leisurely watched whatever was playing on tv.   
  
A air of calm spread the room and it stayed there even after Finn’s brain started to work normally again. The calm stayed even as Finn’s heart clenched.   
  
Oh. How he wished this moment would last forever.   
  


* * *

  
Poetry was commonly written about people like Roman Reigns.   
  
The way his jaw would tense and twitch when upset.   
  
The relaxed soul in his eyes, that would suddenly flare with emotion depending on the situation. Eyes blown with passion. Hard and cold in front of enemies. Soft brown hues, warm.   
  
The Magic in the way he licked his lips before talking sometimes. Or how they’d curled in anger and agitation.   
  
The flowing dark hair always tied up. But it came loose in waves in fights or in love. Rarely any in between. Hair that added a mysterious tribal Look to him. Like Roman was the prince of an ancient group, taking you as his prize of war.   
  
Poetry was commonly written about people like Roman Reigns.   
  
The way his laughter incited molten warmth in anyone lucky to hear it, no matter how common it actually was.   
  
The body that could only be compared to his namesake -Roman, sculpted by the gods themselves. Because only they could create such beauty. Only the gods could create a god.   
  
And the voice that was sultry and deep- killing the poem’s reader slowly.   
  
The poem always ended simply.   
  
 _For him I die.  
  
I am dying. I am dying.   
  
For this man kills me with sweet passion. I die in his embrace   
  
I die in the shadow of his retreat._   
  
“You okay? You've been quiet for a while.” Roman asked   
  
The voice pulled Finn from his thoughts and he looked up at the man he was constantly admiring. A soft smile flickered his own features. He nodded. “You wore me out.”   
  
The chuckle from Roman shook Finn a little, filling the smaller man with a good feeling. “Sorry. Couldn’t help wanting dessert. I have a big appetite.”   
  
Finn rolled his eyes despite grinning. “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach isn’t it?”   
  
Roman pressed his lips to Finn’s hair. He grunted in agreement. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He was sure Finn meant that in a playful way. But there was a note to it that wasn’t sitting well with Roman.   
  
It was a feeling that Roman couldn’t quite place. But it made him uncomfortable. As if he was slowly discovering a truth he wasn’t ready for. That he had been denying.   
  
Finn stood, then, stretching said, “I need to start getting ready for the show.”   
  
Roman sat there in the living room thinking as Finn went off to shower and get dressed for Evolution where he would go to support his friends. The TV created a white noise. Roman barely registered it was there.   
  
He knew.   
  
Roman knew.   
  
He couldn’t keep denying it now.   
  
Finn Balor had feelings for him.   
  
And Roman was too fucking stupid to even see it before.   
  
His chest ached. He felt horrible.   
  
Horrible because he knew having this kind of relationship with Finn wasn’t healthy for Finn. Horrible because he was going to have to stop this.   
  
He leaned forward and covered his face with his hands. His sigh muffled the sound of Finn walking back into the room.   
  
Roman looked up and took in the sight. Finn was dressed in a suit, blue tie. Roman would think Finn would wear red. Then again, Roman just liked the color red on him. Finn looked dashing either way.   
  
Finn grinned up at him, posing with his hands in his pockets like some catalog model. “How do I look?”   
  
Roman stood, not really knowing what to do. “Very handsome,” he whispered. He suddenly felt very tired.   
  
“What’s wrong?” Finn asked, sensing that the other man’s mood was completely different than earlier.   
  
They locked eyes. Roman’s weary. Finn’s worried.   
  
“Do you love me?”   
  
Finn’s worried blue eyes deepened and he looked away. He couldn’t hold Roman’s stare and hide his turmoil at the same time. His heart pounded in his chest.   
  
This was it, Finn was sure.   
  
He could practically feel the red string tied to his pinky pull and tighten.   
  
Roman watched the smaller man, not daring to speak. He was afraid it would scare Finn off. Mostly because Finn looked like a deer in headlights. Caught.   
  
Finn couldn’t say the words. He had dreamed of telling Roman those words so many times. And now they wouldn’t leave him. They were stuck in his parched throat.   
  
But in the end, Finn’s reaction was all the confirmation Roman needed.   
  
“How long?”   
  
Finn sat down on the arm of the couch, still avoiding Roman’s eyes. “A long time,” he whispered in that Irish drawl. He reached up and scratched at his beard thoughtlessly. “Years.”   
  
Anger bubbled in Roman. Years? Finn was lying to him about something this deep.   
  
“So what? This was just some fantasy fulfillment? It wasn’t about making me forget John. It was making me be with you?” Roman sputtered. He crossed his thick arms over his broad chest.   
  
Finn’s wide eyes jumped up to Roman’s face and he stood, raising his hands as if to defend himself. “It wasn’t like that.”   
  
“Then what was this?”   
  
“Foolish.”   
  
“I just wanted to be with you,” Finn admitted. He swallowed the lump in his throat. His shoulders slouched. “I just wanted to make you happy in any way I could.”   
  
Roman looked him over for a minute. A long silent minute. A minute that sucked the air out of Finn’s lungs. It left him longing for air. He contemplated running over to his window and just lifting it open despite the cold late October wind.   
  
“I can’t be with you,” Roman finally said. His voice was hard and final. “I don’t want a relationship. I love someone else and it would only hurt you if I strung you along like this.”   
  
“I understand. Im sorry,” Finn muttered. His eyes lifted to the wall behind the TV.   
  
The red string around his finger pulled and pulled, almost dragging Finn with it’s force. So taunt. The thread was stripping. He could feel its fibers pull and tear.   
  
“...Don’t be,” Roman sighed. He ran a hand over his tied hair. “We shouldn’t have tried to be casual. It never works out.”   
  
Finn nodded. “It was fun while it lasted,” he said, glancing up at the Samoan. A smile pulled at his lips but it was forced and wavering.   
  
Roman crossed the room and kissed Finn’s lips gently. It was short. It felt like a goodbye. Because it was a goodbye.   
  
Finn let a hand reach up and hold Roman’s cheek before the bigger man pulled away.   
  
He kept his eyes on the wall, willing away to lump in his throat. He heard Roman walk off and then come back minutes later, the tell-tale sound of suitcases being pulled along behind him.   
  
“I’m going to go,” Roman muttered.   
  
Finn smiled up at him, this one a little more true. “Have a safe flight.”   
  
Roman nodded. He stood there for a second, ignoring the pull in his heart.   
  
Finn cleared his throat and sighed. “The offer for a shoulder to cry on is still on the table. If you ever need to talk about anything, give me a shout.”   
  
“Yeah,” Roman replied. “I will.”   
  
And then Roman was out the apartment door.   
  
An afternoon of domestic bliss completely burned to ashes before Finn’s teary eyes.   
  
He tipped his head back and blinked away the pools that were threatening to spill and streak his face. Finn was not going to cry.   
  
He knew this was going to happen.   
  
He knew.   
  
Finn knew.   
  
In fact, he had waited for it.   
  
Even so, Finn's heart was shattered.   
  
Some calming deep breaths calmed Finn enough that the tears went away and the lump in his throat disappeared.   
  
Finn closed his eyes and in the darkness he saw the broken red string, dangling from his pinky.   
  
In another life they might have lived a fairy tale. But in this one, Finn's unrequited love affair with Roman only left him broken and alone. He lost Roman. As his dream had predicted. But in the dream Roman had died. And in real life it was Finn who was the one dying.   
  


* * *

  
  
  
**This chapter took forever! I had so much I wanted to do. In fact there's more. But I'm going to cut this chapter here and leave the rest for a short chapter next. I hope you guys are okay. I swear I love you guys, don't hate me. (the team Cena fans are secretly rejoicing I know it. Don't deny it).** **  
  
Love Natsuki Lee**


	13. Chapter 13

** Second Chapter posted tonight. If you missed last chapter go back quickly. You missed a hella lot. **

* * *

  
  
  
Finn had pulled himself together on the hour long ride to Uniondale for Evolution.   
  
He had to admit, he sure knew how to act. Because to anyone watching, Finn looked like he was the same old cheery Irishman Demon King.   
  
But inside, his heart beat against his rib cage, hoping to gain some strength back. And as he walked the red carpet taking pictures and doing interviews, he felt the shattered shards of his broken heart fall behind him with every step.   
  
If he was lucky, maybe he'd lose all the pieces and lose feeling too.   
  
He walked a bit farther and saw Triple H, talking to a reporter. Hunter looked up and Finn waved at him. The older man finished what he was saying, said his goodbyes and walked over to Finn.   
  
Triple H clapped Finn on the back. "Let's take a few pictures. Give the fans a little something."   
  
Finn smirked. "Very sure the fans came for the women tonight."   
  
Hunter gave him a looked. "And I'm very sure that they could come to see dragons and still want to take your picture."   
  
He snorted, but walked over to the background with Hunter. They did a few shot. Normal. Two-sweet. Finn-freeze. It was fun and Finn laughed quietly.   
  
As they walked off the red carpet, Hunter put a hand on Finn's back, making the younger man stop. Hunter turned to face him, eyes critical. "Okay. What's going on?"   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
Hunter sighed. "You look like you're dying inside and I know I put on cologne so it's not me."   
  
Finn spared a smile. "Relationship stuff."   
  
"You and Reigns hit a patch of rocks?"   
  
Finn looked at the older man. The man who had mentored him in NXT. The man who had taught him so much. The COO. Usually a hard man to read. A knack for pedigreeing the most unsuspecting successful friends. Hunter was a man you had to weary of when you worked along his side in the ring, but he had taken a corporate role more seriously now. And Hunter used that position to treat the young superstars like a work dad.   
  
It was almost not a shocker that Hunter could see the lie in Finn's grin. But Finn asked either way. Because how the fuck had Hunter known it was Roman? "How?"   
  
"You're a bit obvious," Hunter shrugged. He was still a man of old code. Relationships are a private afrair. And a relationship between two guys backstage, although not unheard of, was a secret the entire roster would keep. Because it was a brotherhood beyond all else. Even the worst of enemies in the ring wouldn't risk the life of thier coworker by exposing something still so stigmatized in the wrestling world.   
  
Hitting someone in the balls with a chair? Sure.   
  
Spilling about backstage realationships to dirt sheet. Never.   
  
Finn sighed. He galnced around making sure they were far away from the microphones. And He told hunter everything, sparing the ...sexual details. He told him that it he had gone into a fuck buddies agreement knowing absolutely that Roman was emotionally unavailable to him. He told Hunter that He loved Roman, even though he couldn't tell Roman those same words hours ago. And he told Hunter how it ended. Hours ago after a day of bliss.   
  
Hunter gave a large sigh, cheeks puffing out as he exhaled. His eyes were wide with thoughts. "I don't know, kid. Not sure this will pass. Heartbreak sucks. But you have to take this day by day and if it all works out in the end, the perfect. If not, I'll fuck him up for you."   
  
Those words and Hunter's genuine smile made Finn chuckle. "Thanks, Papa H."   
  
Hunter's face dropped, a little grossed out. "Don't call me that."   
  
"Fine do you prefer Dad?"   
  
Hunter turned around and walked away, shaking his head. "This is why I don't give relationship advice. I should have left this for Steph."   
  
Finn grinned as he watched Hunter walk off.   
  
Then his grin dropped. Because it hurt to keep up.   
  


* * *

  
Roman closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat. His large headphones were in place, blocking out any noise from around him on the on the plane.   
  
An imagine flashed before his eyes. Finn's face. Finn trying to hold back tears. Roman didn't want to hurt Finn. That's why he broke off their agreement. But in the end he hurt the man regardless. He saw it all over Finn's face. That vulnerability he had gotten to know very well this past week.   
  
His long fingers massaged into his chest. It hurt.   
  
He must have hurt Finn so much. And it made him feel bad. It made Roman sad.   
  
Roman sighed, trying to relax his tired body. The hand moved from his chest to his forehead. He rubbed at it, hoping it would ease the oncoming headache.   
  
Why did Roman so horrible?   
  
It was like he had just lost someone.   
  
He was ready to just go to sleep for a few days and not face the world again.   
  
Of course, that's not him. He didn't run from his problems, but sometimes he wished he could just stop stressing about everything once in a while.   
  
Roman could only guess that he felt like this because he had gotten so used to Finn these passed few weeks. They had gotten close. Shared plenty of night curcled in eachother's arms. Watched movies and talked about work and relationships.   
  
He had gotten to know Finn Balor as a good friend.   
  
A sexual friend. But a friend, either way.   
  
And now what they have has changed forever. They couldn't be intimate anymore. It wouldn't do they any good. To hold eachother again. Especially now that Roman was sure it would send the wrong message to Finn.   
  
Roman shook Finn's face from his mind's eye and tried to relax for the short flight down to North Carolina.   
  
But Roman would never relax that flight. Because he felt horrible to the core. Perhaps it was just what had occured with Finn Balor in Brooklyn.   
  
Or.   
  
It was also the small realization that what Finn had done to Roman -agreeing to fruitless relationship- is the smae thing Roman would do for however many nights with John Cena.   
  
Roman wouldn't relax that night, even after doing some phone interviews and autograph signing. Because in the back of his mind, where he knew not to dig, Roman hid the anger and sadness of his life these past few weeks.   
  
With everything happening between his brothers. The stress of work. The anxiety of trying to be the big brother for Dean and Seth when they clearly didn't want it. The turmoil of not being able to fully relax around work was catching up to him. Roman had lost his solid brotherhood. He had two monsters to face in only 5 days. The man he adored would be there and he couldn't wait to see him. But it made worry about what would happen. He worried that he would make another fool out of himself for John.   
  
Roman could feel every inch of tension rise in his body as he tried to sleep that night.   
  
It was tension he had kept at bay for weeks.   
  
But here it was. Ready to eat him alive.   
  
And the only person who had taken his mind off of it all was Finn Balor. Like an incubus for his stress, sucking it out of him with soft kisses and wanton moans.   
  
Roman tossed and turned through out the night.   
  
He picked up his phone from where it was charging. He glared at the the early morning time. He had only a few hours before he had to get out and get ready for the show that night. And he had slept nothing. Not a wink.   
  
There was only one thing he wanted to do and that was call his best friend. The friend had not talked to in almost a week.   
  
The phone rang in his ear. That tone playing as he wait and hoped that Dean would answer. It rang once. Twice. Three times. Then a click.   
  
A gruff and tired voice spoke softly, shuffling in the background, a bed creaking, footsteps and a door closing. "Hey. You okay?"   
  
Roman sighed softly. He closed his eyes. "I just needed to talk to someone."   
  
"What happened?"   
  
"Found Finn loves me and I broke it off."   
  
"Why?" Was all Dean asked. It wasn't condescending. It wasn't accusing. It wasn't even really curious. It was like Dean knew, but he wanted Roman to just talk it out. Let it out.   
  
"Didn't want to lead on," Roman replied, running a hand down his tired face. "I don't love him."   
  
"You love John."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"So then why do you feel so bad?"   
  
"I feel bad because I hurt him."   
  
"Or maybe, Ro," Dean sighed. "You got really into playing make beleive fuck friends with him. And you feel bad because it felt like more."   
  
Roman frowned. "It didn't. I knew what it was. Just sex."   
  
"Then why are you angry that I even said that?"   
  
"Because it was just sex and I'm tired of being pushed onto Finn because you and Seth don't like John."   
  
Dean sighed. "You wanted to talk man. I'm just talking."   
  
"Sorry," Roman muttered. "I'm just a mess. John asked to meet up at Crown Jewel. I'm a little nervous."   
  
"You think anything's gonna happen?"   
  
"Probably not. But I want to see him."   
  
He heard Dean sniff before the short haired man spoke again. "Just be smart. Don't forget he's a straight guy who has a different life compared to a year ago."   
  


* * *

  
 **October 29, 2018**    
  
Seth sat alone backstage on a wooden crate. His leg dangled and he swung them back and forth like a child would.   
  
He had seen Roman earlier. Had heard about what happened with him and Finn. It made him sad. Finn was a friend as was Roman. And not so secretly, Seth had wanted them together. Wanted them to be happy together. But his suspisions were correct. Finn loved Roman. But Roman was stuck on John. John Cena had his best friend tied to him like a ball and chain. Like a weight Roman could not drop.   
  
Now Roman was off getting promo stuff done for Crown Jewel this Friday.   
  
At the sound of a familiar voice he looked up from his phone. Nikki and Brie Bella were down the hall making their way his direction, towards the locker rooms. Nikki had on a these tight blue jeans, red bottom heels clicking on the concrete as she walked. Sexy as usual.   
  
Their bags rolled behind them as they talked.   
  
Seth grinned at them when he saw Nikki look up. She smiled back. "Well if it isn't Seth Freaking Rollins."   
  
"The Bellas. Beautiful as always." Well Nikki was. Seth didn't really look at Brie yet. He was too busy staring at her twin.   
  
Nikki walked closer. Very close in fact. She pressed into Seth's side, laying a hand on his arm. "Aw, Seth. What a charmer," She simpered. "Right Brie?"   
  
Brie rolled her eyes, not that Seth or Nikki noticed. "Oh yeah. Hey I'm going to call Daniel. I'll be right back."   
  
Nikki looked at her sister and gave a coy smile before looking back at Seth. "It's good to see you."   
  
Seth grinned. "You too. You did amazing last night, by the way."   
  
"Wasn't enough though, I still lost," Nikki sighed. Seth just wanted to kiss away that sexy red lipstick pout.   
  
He leaned in, closing some of the small space between them. "I have faith you won't let it happen again."   
  
Her pout formed into a smile. Her big eyes looked up at his face. Like a puppy begging for a treat. "Thank you."   
  
"Don't thank me," Seth replied, grin softening to a smile. "You're always getting better. Everyone can see that. Hard work pays off."   
  
Her hand slipped to his lap and she gripped the spot above his knee gently. "What can I say? I love a good work out. I like the feeling of being absoultely exhausted and covered in sweat... from a hard workout."   
  
"Yeah?" Seth whispered. He reached his arm around his curvy frame, pressing his firm hand to the small of her back. "I happen to agree with you."   
  
She smirked. A rosey color tinted her cheeks. "We should workout together sometime."   
  
"I'm free tonight."   
  
"I'm free right now."   
  
Seth's eyes went wide. He was about to hop off the cart, grab Nikki and sling her over his shoulder and hall her into a broom closet. But Brie came back into view. He sighed. Nikki groaned in frustration. Then they shared a knowing smirk.   
  
"I think tonight will be great," Nikki whispered in Seth's ear. Her chest pressed into Seth's side as she stood on her toes. "Text me your room number later."   
  
Nikki stepped back fully, no longer touching Seth's warm body. She waved cutely as she and Brie walked off, luggage in tow.   
  
Seth closed his eyes and refrained from cheering.   
  
Finally! He was going to be with Nikki Bella.   
  


* * *

  
Dean held his wife's hand as they walked the halls of the area before Raw. She had just finished with the makeup and hair girls. She looked beautiful. But to Dean she looked beautiful all the time. Didn't matter if she wore makeup and an expensive dress, or a potato sack and bed head. Renee was perfect.   
  
A supportive wife. A carefree spirit. Playful and kind. A woman who when she set her mind on something, would accomplish that goal, joking and laughing the entire time.   
  
She fidgetted beside him and she looked over at her. His blue eyes stayed stoic.   
  
A tiny little frown played on her lips. Her eyebrows furroring. "Are we ever going to talk about what's going on with you and Seth?"   
  
Dean took his wife in his arms. He looked her in the eyes and shook his head. "Nope. I just want to walk my wife to commentary and kiss her good luck."   
  
Renee relaxed in his strong embrace, but she was still frowning. She laid her head on his chest, closing her eyes and taking in her husband's scent. She didn't care that her make up might smudge against his shirt and jacket. She just wanted to hold him tightly.   
  
"I'm worried about you."   
  
Dean pressed his lips to her head for a lingering kiss. "Nothing to worry about. It's just something I have to finish."   
  
"I know," Renee murmer into his shirt. "But I don't know why."   
  
He kissed her head again and then let her go so they could continue walking. "I have my reasons, babe."   
  
One arm stayed around her waist as they walked to Gorilla. He looked like a man of perfect composure. Bakc straight. Head held high. And Renee looked worried. Not worried that he would get hurt again. No she was worried of what Dean would go to far. That he would go so far that he and Seth would never ever be able to repair the damage.   
  
Not that it was ever really a solid friendship in the first place.   
  


* * *

  
**Short but sweet... okay so Short but angst and sadness.  
  
Love Natsuki Lee**


	14. Chapter 14

( _warning: straight sex. Cuz we all need a little bit of love =P_ )   
  
**October 29, 2018**   
  
Roman bit back the rage bubbling up in his large body. But it practically burned his bones.   
  
He was seething where he sat. Long fingered hands gripped tightly at the championship strap in his lap.   
  
He had been trying to watch the show after his opening promo. Tonight he had a contract signing for Crown Jewel and he had complained that Brock Lesnar probably wasn't going to show up as usual. And then Braun had come out, spewing something about how he was going to be there. And how someone was going to get his hands. All predictable. But it was annoying.   
  
He was already in a shit mood since he slept maybe 2 hours tops last night. And then to have to listen to Braun Strowman give the same damn speech as he always did was like nails on a chalkboard. But deeper and dumber. It had been agony to stand in the ring and not lunge at Braun. But he knew at the contract signing later there would be plenty of time.   
  
But what had really set him off was the match that had just ended.   
  
Finn Balor versus Bobby Lashley. Obviously, he was hoping for Finn to win. Finn was his friend ...-ish.   
  
But with Lio Rush there, Finn's chances were slim. Lio Rush was annoying. And oddly always shirtless. It was weird. Like the Godfather and Jimmy Hart had a love child and they named him Lio Rush. Just needed a ho train and a megaphone. Though, Roman thought, that may be next. And Rush had something against Finn.   
  
The match had ended and Bobby beat up Finn. Finn lays helpless, taking it all. No one to help him. No one to save him.   
  
The fire under Roman's skin practically crackled. This was fucking pissing him off. All he could do was watch as Finn got beat up. He wanted to help. He was ready to kick some ass.   
  
Roman was ready to protect his...   
  
His nothing.   
  
Finn wasn't his.   
  
So Roman didn't go out there. This fight had nothing to do with him. Roman had his own shit to worry about.   
  
But it still made Roman mad.   
  
And he felt guilty. Very fucking guilty.   
  
Because Finn was probably off his game after Roman most likely broke his heart yesterday. Roman pretty much shot down Finn's love like a door to the face and then he had to come and defend himself against Lashley and his yappy dog.   
  
God. Lio Rush was worse then Dolph Ziggler. How was that possible?   
  
And it wasn't like Roman could go up to Finn later and check up on him. It wouldn't be okay. Roman didn't want to push this thin boundary.   
  
They couldn't be intimate. They couldn't share moments anymore.   
  
Because Roman refused to lead Finn on. Roman was not the kind of man to use someone's vulnerability against them. He was not a horrible man. There was no will in his heart to ruin Finn. ...More than he already had. Roman knew in his heart to go out there now and defend Finn, save Finn, care for Finn would go against every fiber of his being.   
  
Because Roman did not love Finn. He loved someone else. Lust does not equate love. And a close bond shared in a bed is not the same as a relationship.   
  
So instead Roman's jaw clenched, watching as Lashley and Rush stood tall over Finn's prone body.   
  
He wasn't going to help, but he was still angry.   
  
Roman's eyes flickered away from the screen when the commerical went on. From the corner of his brown eyes he saw Bayley and Sasha stand up. They both walked towards the gorilla, worry colored their eyes. They would check on Finn. And that eased Roman's clawing anger. As long as Roman knew someone he could trust was watching over Finn, then that made it better.   
  
He turned back to the screen, ignoring Seth's eyes from his side.   
  
Bayley and Sasha made it to the gorilla in time to send Lashely and Rush angry glares as they passed. Rush just laughed in that cocky way. Asshole.   
  
Finn came through the curtain and the ladies went to his side immediately.   
  
To any outsider, Finn looked fine. Beat up, yes, but not critically. Just another day in the WWE.   
  
But to Sasha and Bayley, Finn was broken. Not from the ring, but from life.   
  
They walked with him past two pairs of watching brown eyes in the monitor area, to the doctors. There he sat on one of the beds, sweaty body pale. His stormy blue eyes closed and he put a hand to his head, trying to massage back any pain.   
  
The doctor came over and gave him a concern look. "Did you hit your head? I didn't see anything while watching the match."   
  
Finn took his hand away and looked at the doctor, tiredly. "No. I'm okay. Just didn't sleep last night. Just need some caffeine."   
  
The doctor seemed satisfied with the answer but checked Finn thoroughly. The man wasn't one to put this to chance. When he was done, he gave the Irishman some over the counter pain killers. Finn was ruffed up, but he was fine.   
  
Physically.   
  
The doctor looked over at the two ladies and nodded at them. They would take over now. It looked like Finn needed a friend not stitches.   
  
"You okay?" Sasha asked, voice quiet. She put a hand on his shoulder.   
  
Finn looked at his feet but put his hand over the one she had on his shoulder and squeezed. "Just tired."   
  
"What happened yesterday, Finn?" Bayley's big brown eyes were concerned. She pressed her lips together, waiting for Finn to speak. To say something that would help her understand why he looked so exhausted. Because he hadn't told her a thing yet. She saw him in the crowd yesterday at Evolution. They had shared a quick hug backstage, but the night was so busy that Bayley didn't have time to spend with her best male friend.   
  
Thick silence. No talking. Sasha and Bayley waited. Their worry only built.   
  
Finally, Finn looked up at them, eyes glassy with unshed tears. "Roman and I aren't a thing anymore. Not that we ever were."   
  
Sasha made a sound of pity and wrapped her arms around the man. "What happened?"   
  
"He agreed to this because it would have no strings," Finn admitted. "But I've loved him for so long. And he figured it out. Didn't want to lead me on, I guess, and broke things off."   
  
Bayley came over to his other side and embraced him as well. His arms came up and held onto them, finding comfort in their care.   
  
"I knew it was going to happen. I kept having dreams about losing him. Bad dreams where the red string connecting us broke."   
  
"I thought the string only broke when someone died," Sasha whispered. She rubbed her hand in circles on his back, wishing she could take his heartache away.   
  
"Yeah," was all Finn said.   
  
"But no one is dying Finn," Bayley reassured. "It was just a dream. No one is dying."   
  
Finn looked up at her, a tear slipping down his cheek. "I'm dying. I feel like I'm the one dying."   
  
Bayley heard the doctor slip out of the room and close the door behind him to give the three wrestlers some privacy.   
  
Finn's head lowered, hanging loose on his neck, trying desperately to hide his tears. Damn, he hated crying so much. What a baby he was being. He knew this was going to happen. Why was he so upset right now? He had been fine before the match.   
  
But maybe the physical pain of getting beat up triggered his emotional pain.   
  
"I knew this was going to happen," he muttered. Their embraces on him tightened in unison. "But I wanted to be with him so badly. I offered myself to him knowing full well that this was going to happen. And yet here I am blubbering like a child."   
  
Shushing sounds softly came from Bayley as she tried to soothe the man. She looked at Sasha and saw that the other woman had tears in her eyes too. Finn was a strong person. To see him so broken was heart wrenching.   
  
Bayley felt a sliver of ire rise in her gut beneath the pain of seeing Finn cry. She had warned Roman. She had told him not to hurt Finn and he did.   
  
But beneath the pain and the anger, Bayley understood what Roman did. Roman cared enough about Finn to end things before Finn fell too deep. Poor Roman just didn't realize it was too late.   
  
Finn had fallen deeply for Roman a long time ago.   
  
And now Finn was falling into an abyss of unrequited love.   
  


* * *

  
Renee watched from commentary as Seth came out to the middle of the ring. She wasn't stupid. She obviously knew what this was about. Seth was going to call out Dean. It was damn obvious.   
  
But that didn't make her any less nervous.   
  
Dean hadn't really talked to her about what he was thinking. But in reality, she knew he didn't need to. She knew his reasoning very well. And despite loving Seth like a brother, Dean had every right to feel the way he did. He had every right to hate Seth. To hate Roman. To hate what they made him become. Even if deep down, Dean didn't actually hate a soul.   
  
But Renee listened. Renee sat silently and waited.   
  
Seth admitted that he was frustrated and guilty. He was guilty. He believed Dean's actions were because of him. And Renee mused he was probably right. There was no time limit on revenge. But Seth needed to hear Dean say it. He needed conformation.   
  
Dean's music hit and Renee's eyes flickered to the stage. She and Seth wait with baited breaths. Except Seth and Renee were nervous for different reasons.   
  
The crowd got loud and Renee looked over to see her husband. He stood with the crowd, mocking the Shield entrance. His usually cute face was snarling, lip curling viciously.   
  
Dean was silent. Perhaps he was going to talk when he took the mic out of his jacket pocket. But he must have changed his mind at Seth's biting words. And the silence only made Seth angrier. Fuming.   
  
Seething, but maybe even just a little sad.   
  
Seth snarked that at least when he stabbed Dean in the back he had the decency to look Dean in the eye and explain why. Dean stayed silent. Seth's jaw clenched. "You really are a cold hearted bastard."   
  
Renee sighed as Seth claimed that Dean just wanted the spotlight. She wished Seth would open his eyes. This wasn't about Dean's need for fame. It was about Seth's greed. It's about how Dean took a backseat to his brothers and his career suffered because of it.   
  
"I am fixed on you for as long as I live and I will make your life a living hell," Seth said. And then he called Dean a soulless lunatic.   
  
Her eyes closed. Her heart hurt. It felt like she was watching her family crumble. It all mirrored 2014. But it felt worse. Because it was Dean -loyal and energetic Dean Ambrose- who cracked. Not sneaky and greedy Seth Rollins.   
  
Renee watched Her husband walk off, having not spoken a single word. Her eyes moved over to Seth. Eyebrows furrowed, she willed herself not to go comfort her crest-fallen brother-in-law. Years of knowing eachother, of spending days and nights in the same car traveling, Renee knew Seth as a friend. Family.   
  
But now that Dean had set his menacing glance on Seth, that family is ruined. Because Dean wanted more from his life then doing the dirty work. And Renee didn't blame him. Because she wanted Dean to have everything he's ever wanted. Everything he's ever dreamed of.   
  
Family be damned.   
  


* * *

  
Roman and Seth sat in some secluded hallway near catering. Roman had the main event match, but that was still about an hour away, so he and his angry puppy brother Seth, sat on the large wooden crates, talking.   
  
Of course, they weren't talking about what had just happened. No, God forbid Seth let Roman talk about Dean with him. It was surely illegal. Because Seth practically demanded that Roman not talk about it. Seth just didn't want to involve Roman in his and Dean's battle.   
  
Despite the fact that Roman would always feel like he was directly in the middle of it all. Perhaps he even wore some of the fault.   
  
"So what happened with Finn," Seth asked, big doe eyes staring at the white wash brick walls.   
  
"I already told you, uce."   
  
What else could Roman say? They had lots of really good sex. And then Roman ended it, because he didn't want Finn to lose himself in a relationship that would not ever benefit him. Roman couldn't lead a man on. He could never hold Finn in his arms knowing that he was not emotionally giving Finn everything the man needed and wanted. Because Roman couldn't love Finn.   
  
Roman loved another man.   
  
A man who would never love him back.   
  
It was a cycle of unrequited love.   
  
Seth sighed loudly and dramatically. "I know we have, man. But I want to know what you're feeling."   
  
"I don't know," Roman muttered. "Sad? I liked having someone to spend my nights with. Finn was comfortable."   
  
Seth waited for Roman to continue, a small frown on his lips.   
  
"But it's done. I'm not going to be with him when we want different things. I don't want to date him."   
  
Doe eyes turned to Roman and held the bigger man there, locked. "Why not? What is stopping you from trying it out with Finn?"   
  
"Seth, you know I-"   
  
"Yeah, you love John. But John doesn't feel the same way. John's a straight man who doesn't share the values you have outside the business. But Finn loves kids. Finn is obviously attracted to you. Finn is funny and caring. And you're obviously attracted to him back. Look, all I am saying is that I think you should give Finn a chance, Ro."   
  
Roman shook his head, those long locks shifting over his shoulders.   
  
Seth's eyes narrowed. "You're a Dumbass."   
  
He bristled. "Why am I a dumbass?" He wasn't used to being talked down to like that.   
  
"Because I would kill to have a relationship with someone who I have great chemistry with. And you have that with Finn. When you were around him you were all smiles. But instead you want to be with a jerk off like Cena. It honestly boggles my mind, dude."   
  
Standing, Roman grabbed the Universal Championship and huffed. "Don't act like you aren't biased in all of this. You don't like John and you never did. But Finn is your friend. Of course you want me to be with him. Even though I have made it plain and clear that I don't like him like that."   
  
The accusations were most likely right, but they still made Seth's jaw clench.   
  
"And you know what? Finn understands that. I don't get how you don't. This is the exact reason why I was never open about my love life with you and Dean." Roman ran a hand through his hair, deep frown causing his eyebrows to furrow. "I have a match to get ready for."   
  
With that said, Roman walked off. Seth sighed as he leaned back. He rolled his eyes.   
  
Roman was so fucking blind. Roman could be so happy if he just let go of John. And yeah, you know, Seth got it. He understood exactly what Roman was saying when he said he couldn't just love Finn. Because Roman loved John Cena. Roman had fallen in love with his mentor. He had fallen in love with the golden boy of WWE. But Seth wished he could just move on.   
  
But Seth wasn't sure Roman would be able to move on until he saw Cena for what he really was.   
  
Not right for Roman at all.   
  
Well... At least Seth was meeting up with Nikki today. He really hoped he and Nikki would work out.   
  


* * *

  
Finn sat on the floor back against the wall. The brick was cold against his body but he didn't mind as he scrolled idly through his phone. He had calmed down since his episode in the doc’s room.   
  
Bayley and Sasha had left him for their match. They hesitated of course. Didn't want to leave him. But Finn had pushed a smile and let them know he was going to sit alone. He needed to refill his energy. Alone. In the relative quiet. And when they left he walked the opposite way, to a secluded hallway, away from the hustle and bustle of the show.   
  
Now he wasn't thinking about anything at all. Not really. His mind had been blank. Little images flickered in his memory. Smiles. Deep and caring eyes. Strong arms holding him impossibly close. Just little images here and there of things he worried about. Things he missed even though it had only been 24 hours.   
  
The longest 24 hours of his life.   
  
Just as he was about to lose himself in his thoughts, he looked up at the sound of familiar footsteps. A large Samoan man walking by him.   
  
A sharp pain pierced through his chest like a knife.   
  
Roman had walked right by him, only sparing him an upset glance.   
  
24 hours.   
  
Everything has changed.   
  
And Finn's body screamed to grab hold of Roman and not let this happen. Not let this continue on the path it seems destined to.   
  
But instead, Finn looked back at the phone he gripped in a shaking hand. No tears fell from his ocean blue eyes, though. Not this time. He took a shaking breath trying to calm the sharp ache in his chest.   
  
This will pass, he told himself.   
  
You will move on, Finn. A simple mantra he repeated to himself.   
  
But he knew that he wouldn't move on.   
  
Finn knew it deep down that it was impossible for him to just move on and get over a man like Roman Reigns.   
  
Roman stuck to Finn's soul like God had created Finn for the absolute purpose of loving the Samoan man.   
  
But Finn had to try.   
  
One day at a time.   
  


* * *

  
The show had ended a few hours ago. Roman had gone to the hotel near the airport so he could go home for a day or two before the long plane ride to Saudi Arabia for Crown Jewel. But Seth didn't need to go home. Sure his dog was there, but he had a friend with him. But there was no other reason to go home for one day. So Seth decided he'd just spend another day in the city they were in, relaxing.   
  
So tonight, like many night while Roman was with Finn, Seth had the room to himself.   
  
Which worked out in his favor. Since Nikki was on her way over.   
  
Seth fussed his his hair in the mirror again. Quickly he sniffed his shirt. It was clean. He made sure to wear a clean one. But now he was wondering if shirtless would be better. Shirt or no shirt?   
  
A soft knock on his door and his eyes went wide. He pulled the shirt over his head and threw it over at his luggage before practically sprinting to the door.   
  
He steadied his face, doing his best for a cocky by sexy smirk. He had perfected it long ago.   
  
Once he opened the door he came face to face with the forever lovely Nikki Bella.   
  
She stood on the other side of the doorway in those tight jeans she wore earlier. Hair sleak and shiny over her shoulders. That red lipstick called Seth's name. Lord, did he want to kiss those pouty lips right now. But he had to wait until they were behind closed doors. Cameras were always around. He was just happy that Nikki wasn't filming Total Divas/Bellas that day.   
  
"Hey," Nikki simpered.   
  
He gave her his cocky smirk, moving to the side and letting her into his room.   
  
What they both didn't see were sad eyes watching as Nikki walked through the door. But as the door closed the owner of the sad brown eyes turned and walked away. A cloud of dejection hanging over her head.   
  
Seth closed the door, making sure he heard the click of the automatic lock before he stepped towards Nikki. She looked at him from under those long false eyelashes. Sultry and hungry.   
  
There wasn't really a need to talk even though Seth would have loved to get to know Nikki on a personal level before having sex. Go on a date, maybe. Treat Nikki like the queen she was, by showing her that he thought she was beautiful and charismatic. But Nikki was here for a good fucking and who was Seth to deny her that?   
  
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his hard muscular body towards her. Her lips curved into a smile. "Late night workouts with Seth Rollins," she mused out loud. Seth's eyes roamed over her face like he could read her joy. "Now that's an insta account that would break the internet."   
  
Seth leaned in close, eyes lowered, lips hovering just an inch away from Nikki's. He wondered how her lipstick would taste as they kissed. He wondered if it would leave swatches of ruby red on his cock if she went down on him. "Only if you guest star," he murmured.   
  
Their lips crashed roughly. His rough hands gripped her hips and her arms circled tighter. She moaned as his lips left hers and trailed down her neck, nipping softly.   
  
Nikki hummed as her body relaxed fully against his, hands moving up to thread through his dark curls.   
  
As Seth ran his tongue back up her neck to meet her lips, Nikki stepped out of her Lou Boutin stilettos. Seth crouched down slightly as they kissed and scooped Nikki up, his arms hooking below her plump ass. She yelped and then laughed as he brought her over to the bed.   
  
Seth looked down at her. She smiled up at him, humor in her shiny eyes. Her hands went to his bearded face and pulled him down, bringing their kiss swollen lips together again.   
  
Moans and groans filled the otherwise quiet room as they made out. Seth would occasionally grind his hips against her. His cock was hard in his skinny jeans, creating the most obscene pressure. Like she could read his mind, Nikki slipped her hand down and unbuttoned the pants with a quickness that came only from learned skill. Her nimble fingers slipped the zipper down and dug her hand in.   
  
Seth's doe eyes closed and a soft gasp left his parted lips when her hand gripped him and took him out of the tight confines of rough dark blue jeans.   
  
She hummed again, this time in approval as she slowly jerked him off. "I'll admit to being curious and looking up those pictures of you online. I was not disappointed."   
  
Seth was smirking but his face was buried against her neck, sucking and biting. When he was satisfied, he propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Nikki's lovely face. He admired the way the lipstick had smeared from her lips across the cheeks and chin. "Oh yeah? Well then I'll have to thank my ex one day."   
  
Nikki's body shook as she laughed. She leaned up on her elbows now to meet the man on top of her. She pressed her lips to his again, ignoring the fact that his lips and beard had traces of her lips. She should invest in long lasting lipstick. But it would be a lie if she ever said that a man covered in the marks wasn't extremely sexy. A mark for the man to remember her by as he washed the traces of her away afterwards. Like ownership.   
  
And right now, Nikki wanted to own Seth's hot body. At least for the night.   
  
Seth pulled Nikki's tight t-shirt up with one hand, not all surprised this vixen wasn't wearing a bra. Why would she? They were perky and firm. No need for a bra to cover them up like they were a secret. Nikki's chest was mouth watering. He sat up between her open legs and licked a cool trail up her abdomen to the large breasts. He gripped on with a firm hand, fondling it, fingers tweaking and rubbing at the dark nub. His mouth went to work at the other.   
  
Ecstasy flooded Seth. He had lusted over this body for so long. Yearned and craved to touch it the way he was now. But Seth had always respected the fact that he would probably never have Nikki. His attraction to her was a well kept secret. Even when she and John Cena had split, Seth was sure he would never get a chance to be with this goddess. That she would never want him. He was a far cry from a boy next door muscle-head. He was some punk kid with long hair and a beard.   
  
But here they were.   
  
Like a wet dream.   
  
Nikki moaned. His mouth felt amazing sucking her hard nipple. She could tell she was wet. Soaking the cotton material of her panties. "Fuck, Seth. Who knew you're mouth wasn't just for snarky promos."   
  
Seth sat up, a broad grin on his face. His hand went to undo her jeans as he spoke, "Oh no. It was made for sex. The promos are just a bonus."   
  
She shimmied out of the pants with the help of his warm hands. Once the offending material was off, he ran his hands up and down her thighs, caressing the smooth tanned skin. "God you are perfect," he mumbled. He wasn't really saying it for her to hear, more like an unconscious observation.   
  
He quickly took off his jeans and boxers and then laid at the foot of the bed. His lips planted soft kisses on her left foot. He took her toe in his mouth and sucked it gently for a second before moving up her leg, kissing and licking his way. Sometimes he's scrape his teeth to create a delicious friction. But it wasn't needed. His beard was already scratching her heated skin. It sent shivers down her spine. She throbbed for him.   
  
When he reached her thigh, his eyes looked up at her face then lowered to the wet spot on her light blue panties. Knowing that she was that turned on by him made his cock twitch against the bed.   
  
He slowly, teasingly, slid a finger down the pantie covered mound. She shivered, biting her lip. He did it again, watching her face as it contorted in pleasure.   
  
She wanted more, but he pulled back down and started kissing those saliva slicked lips down her right leg, giving it the same treatment he had the other leg. Nikki almost felt disappointed, but him pulling away just made the anticipation so much higher.   
  
When he had reached her foot he reached his hands up and hooked onto the light material. As he knelt up, he pulled the panties off, throwing them over his shoulder. Then in one swift movement, he was laying between her legs, mouth finding a home on the slick pussy.   
  
A hungry tongue slid and prodded. The taste on his tongue and her wanton moans just spurred more from Seth. He took the sweet clit in his mouth and flickered his tongue, making Nikki's thighs quiver. He sucked on it hard, pulling it a little before letting it go and moving lower to the sopping hole.   
  
Nikki's body trembled. She looked like a mess, eyes watering and rolling back everytime he would suckle on her clit. Her lipstick was all over her face. Her hair was sprayed around her, damp at the neck from sweat. Her fingers played with her nipples. And her thighs quivered and shook. She was whimpering his name. If he kept going she would cum.   
  
Seth must have realized that because he hastened his movements with his mouth. He grunted and groaned, getting harder and harder with the way Nikki was moaning on his hotel room bed. He circled his middle finger at her slick hole, then slipped it in. A gasp left her lips and then she sighed happily. He added another.   
  
And it was like that, Seth eating her out and two fingers pumping in and out of her, that she came. Her back arched up and her body trembled. A string of curses left her mouth.   
  
As she continued to moan and pant, Seth reached over to the nighstand he grabbed the condoms he had put there and ripped one open. He slid one on and positioned himself between her legs.   
  
Her eyes were half-lidded and serene as she watched him. Those doe eyes ran over her body before locking with her own. "Want me to keep going?" he asked softly.   
  
Her strong legs wrapped high around his waist and she nodded. "God, yes."   
  
He slowly pushed in, her juices making it so easy. They both groaned. So good.   
  
Seth set a steady pace at first. But as the minutes ticked he thrusted in and out faster, creating these long strokes, almost leaving her heat entirely before slamming back in. His balls slapped into her perfect round ass over and over again.   
  
He lifted one of her legs off his waist and held it up against the length of his body. Then he leaned forward, bending Nikki so her hole was easier to use. And he hammered into it, abuse the wet and sloppy sex. Nikki was whimpering and giving these sexy crying moans below him.   
  
But as much as he wanted to hear those sounds for the rest of his life, he had to stop her from waking whoever was rooming next door. He sealed his mouth over hers and muffled the moans.   
  
The feeling in his gut grew tense. "Oh shit," he breathed. "I'm gonna cum."   
  
She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. "Me too. Keep going, Seth. Make me cum again."   
  
He growled into her lips and slammed into her repeatedly. She gave a loud moan that transformed into a bunch of whimpered yeses. Her body trembled and jerked with the force of her 2nd orgasm.   
  
The way she came down his cock, a moaning mess, set Seth off and after a few more pumps his body stilled and went rigged. His cock pulsed in her as he filled the condom with hot white cum.   
  
The orgasm washed over Seth. Then he pulled out and slumped to the side. Both of them were panting, but they were blissed out. Glassy eyes and blank minds.   
  
Doe eyes scanned over Nikki's lovely body as they caught their breaths, then he frowned. Nikki sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. He watched as she grabbed her clothes from where they were on the floor. Slowly she pulled on her clothes, not facing the man on the bed.   
  
Seth swallowed thickly, trying to find his voice. "Do you want to get a bite to eat together tomorrow? Just you and me?"   
  
Nikki looked back over her shoulder at him, hands stilling for just a second. Then she looked away and buttoned up her jeans. "This was just sex, Seth," she said quietly. It made Seth's heart drop. "You're great. I like you. But I'm trying to just be me. I thought you understood that."   
  
He did.   
  
He respected her for this decision. It hurt. But he wouldn't press it.   
  
At least he got to spend one night with this amazing woman.   
  
Nikki stood and slipped into her heels. Before he could say anything else she was at the door, checking her face in the mirror. At the sight of red everywhere, she grabbed a pack of makeup wipes from the purse she had left near the door when she came in. She scrubbed at her face to rid the red lipstick as Seth discarded the condom and put on his boxers.   
  
He stood in the center of the room, not sure what to do. His strong thick arms crossed over his chest.   
  
Nikki turned and looked at him with a small smile. "When I'm ready for something more, you'll be the first I call, I promise."   
  
The promise didn't ease the sadness in his soul.   
  
Before he knew it she was gone and he gave a frustrated groan.   
  
He put his hands on his hips as he looked around the room. Well, at least he could say he had been with his dream girl once. He wished it was more. But... this was a dream come true regardless. He hadn't loved Nikki. It had just been lust and a crush. But it was still something.   
  
The heart ache would sooth eventually.   
  


* * *

  
Sasha walked into her hotel room after spending the night with some of the other girls.   
  
She was surprised to see Bayley on one of the beds, watching Netflix on her laptop.   
  
"Hey," Sasha said, sitting beside her friend. "What happened?"   
  
"Saw Nikki going into his room," Bayley replying, shrugging a shoulder.   
  
"I can't believe you were going to try it again," Sasha commented. She put her long purple hair up in a messy bun and watched the screen, resting her head on Bayley's shoulder comfortably.   
  
Bayley's lips pressed thin. "Hey, it worked last time, right?"   
  
A scoff. But there was a smirk on Sasha's face regardless. "Only you would lie about me having an occupied room just so you can share a bed with Rollins."   
  
Bayley shrugged again. "He fell for it, didn't he? I want to ask him out so bad, but he's so hung up on Nikki. And all that stuff with Dean has him preoccupied. Gotta get his attention somehow."   
  
Sasha sighed. "Why don't you just ask Finn to talk you up to him?"   
  
"Because Finny has his own problems. I don't want to bother him with my love life."   
  
She nodded fully understanding. She just wished Bayley wouldn't tell people she was busy using the room. Sasha was pretty much doing the opposite of that. But maybe Bayley was onto something. Lie about not having anywhere to sleep. Sleep in Rollins' bed. Make him fall in love.   
  
It was a plan. Probably going to backfire, but still.   
  
Sasha grinned up at Bayley, eyes twinkling with mirth behind her glasses. "You know, Bay, I could just take care of you're sexual frustration and save you the trouble," she joked.   
  
Bayley laughed. She bumped her shoulder into her best friend and rolled her eyes. "We're not Becky and Charlotte. We aren't secretly in love."   
  
Sasha laughed along with Bayley, thinking of their friends, who were super into eachother but way too afraid to do anything but beat the living hell out of eachother in the ring. "I wonder when they'll finally admit to it?"   
  
Bayley's eyebrows arched. Then she shook her head. "Never. You know Becky and Charlotte. Both stubborn and super secretly lesbians."   
  
She sighed and leaned against the headboard, eyes still watching the screen. "Thank God we aren't riding with Smackdown. They make car rides so tense."   
  
"Really wish they would fuck already," Bayley mumbled. Then she groaned. "I wish I could get laid. It's been so long."   
  
"Me an you both, sister," Sasha grumbled. "I should just call up Ziggler for a quick lay."   
  
Bayley cringed. "Don't do that to yourself."   
  
They then settled in for the night and watched random halloween movies until they were ready to fall asleep.   
  
Sasha hoped Bayley would have some luck with Seth. She knew her friend was hiding it because she didn't want to burden anyone, but she really liked him. Seth was just too busy in his own world to see that his workout buddy was wife material.   
  


* * *

  
**October 30, 2018**   
  
Finn got off the plane in Ireland. The first thing he did was take a deep breath.   
  
He needed this. A few days home with friends and family. Nothing else could possibly help heal his heart.   
  
Tomorrow was halloween and he was going to be with his niece and nephew. He had a lobster costume all picked out and ready to go.   
  
The time home took Finn's head away from all the shitty feelings he had.   
  
Finn felt refreshed by the time for the show. Even though he wasn't in Saudi Arabia. He hadn't been scheduled in the show and that sucked royally. He hated not wrestling, but at least he was able to fully relax.   
  
But Finn knew that the second he saw Roman at the show, he was going to feel that longing again. He would feel his soul pull and twist at the sight of that large tan body hulking down the hallway. Finn would feel his heart clench and his resolve crumble at the sound of Roman's rumbling voice. The hard strict tone of his promos compared to the joking humor of his laughter.   
  
It already hurt when Finn watched Crown Jewel on the network that Friday.   
  
The main event started and Finn watched surrounded by his family as Roman's face came to the screen. His deep brown eyes looked around the ring at his opponents, Braun Strowman and Brock Lesnar. The title was raised high by the ref and then the bell rang.   
  
Finn watched the grueling and brutal match at the edge of his seat. He was sure his mother must be staring at him wondering why he was so invested in this match. Maybe she thought Finn was going to go after the winner. But more likely than anything, she was probably wondering which one he was in love with. It was the only logical explanation for his behavior.   
  
Roman was sweating and tired. He looked like he had no more energy. The big body slumped into the turnbuckle, ready to collapse under it's own weight.   
  
If Finn had been a nail biter, he would have run out of nails to tear off by now. He desperately hoped Roman wouldn't lose the title. Not to a part timer like Brock Lesnar. And not to a monster like Braun Strowman. Roman deserved this title. And Finn knew the that title being taken away from him would break Roman. After all the man had been through these last few weeks, Roman needed a win.   
  
Brock and Braun were beating into eachother at the ramp, the ref trying to call them back into the ring. Roman looked over at them. Then looked behind him. Then looked back, nodded to himself, before jogging back to ropes behind them. He used their momentum to jump over the ropes and land on Brock and Braun, taking both large men down. When Roman stood and gave an animalistic roar, Finn sighed in relief.   
  
Lord, did he love 1 flying Samoan.   
  
Roman grabbed onto Braun and tossed him into the ring. But once Braun was hefted on the apron, Brock had stirred awake. He stood and saw Roman. Quickly he grabbed Roman from behind and gave a nasty looking suplex. Roman's head crashed into the barricade.   
  
Finn shot to his feet, hands covering his mouth, eyebrows furrowed in worry. His family looked up at him wondering about his dramatic reaction. And if Finn hadn't been so engrossed in the match, he would have felt his mother's hand on his back, guiding him to relax. But he couldn't. Roman looked completely out. And Finn knew that the ref had gone to Roman side, had checked the man's consciousness, and then went back in the ring, meaning Roman was okay. Finn still worried.   
  
The cameras focused on Lesnar going after a dizzy looking Braun. The monster among men could barely hold himself up, but he fought back when Lesnar reached him. They traded a few punches when Brock slung the taller man over his shoulder and performed the F-5. Braun was covered.   
  
1   
  
2   
  
Kick out.   
  
Finn had never been so happy that Braun's shoulder had gone up. He raked his hands through his hair as he continued to watch the match.   
  
Brock looked pissed. He looked like he needed this match to end. He looked like he didn't like the fact that he hadn't won the damn match yet.   
  
Brock picked Braun back up and hefted him through a suplex. The crowd must have been keeping count. It was around 5 since the match started. It was a slow night apparently, since Brock usually had like 15 by now. Must be harder with 2 opponents as opposed to 1.   
  
Braun was still moving, so Brock took that as a sign to do another suplex.   
  
Finn might just be praying. Praying for some miracle. Don't let Roman lose. Don't let this happen. To who ever was listening. To anyone out there. Roman doesn't deserve this bullshit of a match. He doesn't deserve to lose the Universal Championship to either of these men. Roman was a wonderful person who deserved the world. And Finn had half the mind to think that if there was a God, he wouldn't crush the soul and dreams of a man like Roman Reigns.   
  
Brock was now going for his 3rd straight suplex on Braun. Braun was surely dead. Brock's back must be made of steel.   
  
Then from the corner of the screen, a running blur. A hard spear into Braun (and therefore Brock). Roman had been able to take them down again.   
  
Thank God, Finn breathed. He sat back down, hands clasped before his lips. The lips he had been gnawing at consistently since Roman took that gnarly suplex.   
  
All three men laid in the middle of the ring. The crowd in Saudi Arabia were cheering Roman despite their obvious love for Brock Lesnar.   
  
The Samoan man used the ropes near by to pull himself up. One arm was holding onto his middle, as if trying to buffer the pain. A strand of hair stuck to his face, cutting it in half, creating this angry shadow over the usually beautiful face.   
  
When he saw, Brock slowly stand up on rickety thin legs, Roman opened his arms and roared loudly, the crowd joining him. A chill went down Finn's arms as he watched.   
  
Roman ran at Brock to spear him, but Brock must have realized what was about to happen because he tried to grab Roman. Roman was too fast though and dodged the beast. He then quickly turned around and ran at the confused man. A spear! Dead center. Brock dropped and rolled out of the ring, where he slumped against the ring apron. Paul Heyman scurried to his side and checked on him, screaming at him to get up.   
  
Roman looked away from the scene and came face to face with Braun Strowman. Braun grabbed Roman by the throat ready to chokeslam him, but Roman wiggled free. He ran to the ropes, cocked his fist like a gun and took the monster square in the jaw. Braun went down like a heap of shit.   
  
Roman quickly covered him.   
  
1   
  
Finn felt the world slow down.   
  
2   
  
He was sure he stopped breathing just so he could hear the ref counting. But really, his labored breaths were too loud in his head that it was making it hard to hear in general.   
  
3   
  
The bell rang.   
  
Finn jumped up and cheered loudly, ignoring his family's bemused stares. He let relief flood him.   
  
He loved the Universal Champion. He couldn't have the champ, but he still cheered him on from the side lines.   
  
The last match of the show, despite involving Finn's work father, Triple H, was practically unwatched by the Irishman. He had spent all of his energy on the Universal Championship match that Finn was ready for a nap.   
  
The room was quiet except the sound of the match coloring the background. No one in the room was talking. Probably all wondering about Finn's sanity, he supposed.   
  
Finally after a few moments, Finn's brother took a sip of his lager then gave Finn a look from the corner of his eye. "What's the story? How long have you been fucking the champ?"   
  
Finn's mother rolled her eyes but remained silent, curious.   
  
Finn's father looked uncomfortable.   
  
The rest of the family waited with wide eyes and pressed lips.   
  
"We aren't fucking," Finn said, matter of factly. Then in a softer voice he said, "anymore."   
  
His brother grinned broadly. It resembled Finn's like only family could. "Okay. Then my next question is how long have you been head over heels in love with the man? Cause, brother, that wasn't the cheering of a jaded ex lover."   
  
Finn sighed and closed his eyes. "Donkey's years."   
  
Finn's brother whistled.   
  
"Why didn't it work out?" Finn's mother finally spoke.   
  
Finn groaned. "Can I not have this talk right now? I came home to relax and spend time away from the drama."   
  
Finn's brother raised his hand to placate the situation. "Alright, Alright."   
  
Finn leaned his head back against the couch as he heard the bell ring to announce the end of the match. He watched but wasn't really paying attention as Hunter and Shawn celebrated their win, but it was obvious that Hunter was hurt badly.   
  
Hours passed and Finn knew he had to start heading out to the airport so he could make his flight to Madrid. He was in his old room, organizing his things when his parents knocked at the door. He smiled at them.   
  
"Call me when you're in Madrid so I know you made it," his mother said.   
  
Finn's smile formed into a grin. "I've been on a million planes and I've rarely called you about it."   
  
"Yes, but this time you're leaving home, so I deserve a call."   
  
Finn nodded and kissed the woman on her blonde hair.   
  
She turned around and left the room, back to the kitchen to make her grandchildren a snack.   
  
Finn looked over at his dad. The older man sat on the edge of the bed and gave his son a short nod. "You gonna be okay, son?"   
  
He looked at his dad. It took him a second then he nodded, not looking his father in the eyes. "Eventually. Just have to move on."   
  
"Move on," his father repeated, a deep frown creased his grey brows. "Why move on? If I moved on from your mother you wouldn't be alive right now. Fight for him if you love 'em. I don't know the full story, but I see the way you look at him."   
  
Finn sat beside his father with a huff. "He doesn't want me. He's in love with someone else."   
  
The old man patted Finn on the shoulder. "Don't give up on your heart, Finn. I mean don't pester the boyo, but don't let him slip away so quickly."   
  
Finn wrapped an arm around his father. He grinned, a twinkle of happiness in his ocean blue eyes for the first time in a while "I expected this love talk from mum, not from you. Gettin' soft on me, ol' man."   
  
Finn's father rolled his eyes, a small smirk on his face. "Your mother made me do it."   
  
"Oh sure," Finn laughed.   
  


* * *

  
Roman knocked on the door of John Cena's hotel room.   
  
They had glanced eachother's way at the arena, but no time to talk. Only a smile. Only a text from John with the room number.   
  
A piece of Roman knew that this might just be another night to hang out with John like in Australia. Roman was sure that John would reject him again. And again. And again. Roman could feel it that John wouldn't want him the way he wanted John. But Roman couldn't help the way his heart was pounding in his chest.   
  
He wanted John Cena in his arms. He wanted to kiss John Cena. He had dreamed of it for the better part of this past year.   
  
After long ticking minutes, John opened the door.   
  
Roman's breath hitched at the sight of John just wearing a pair of low hanging navy blue basketball shorts and nothing else. John was straight faced as he looked Roman up and down. It made the Samoan man nervous. What was John thinking?   
  
Stepping out of the way, John motioned for Roman to walk in.   
  
And the click of that door when it closed made Roman's heart skip a beat.   
  
Roman to everyone around him was calm and collected. He was strong and firm. He was superman in the face of danger. But John Cena made him putty. He was soft and nervous around the man now. He lacked the confidence and the resolve to hold himself tall in front of the older man. And John knew it. John preyed on that.   
  
"Good match, tonight," John said, idly. He walked over to the night stand and grabbed the beer he had been drinking- guzzling- before Roman showed up.   
  
Roman thanked him as he looked around. This room was considerably different then the one in Australia. It was small. Just the bed, a couch, and a tv. It was obviously the type of room you bought for a night. It wasn't for comfort. It was convenience.   
  
The beer was finished by the time Roman looked back at John. "You wanted to meet up?" Roman asked. "I thought for sure you'd never want to see me again after ...Australia. Well, I thought the same thing after Brooklyn. But either way."   
  
John set the bottle down on the night stand and took a step towards the Samoan, closing the distance. He stared at the tanned skin, eyes raking over the tribal tattoo that wrapped around the thick arm. Then he looked at Roman's beautiful face, scanning those features like he wasn't sure what he was about to say. Roman stood there very still. The air around them was thick and Roman had a hard time swallowing it.   
  
"I can't get you out of my head," John muttered. He reached a hand up and it caressed Roman's arm smoothly.   
  
Roman's heart was racing. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth. It was like that night in Brooklyn all over again. Roman knew it would be best to be blunt. Don't sugar coat it. "What does that mean exactly?"   
  
"It means I want to fuck you, Roman."   
  
Roman swallowed thickly. And again like Brooklyn after Summerslam, Roman stopped talking, closed the space and attached his lips hungrily to John's.   
  
But this time, John reciprocated.   
  
The feel of John's lips against his was like magic. It sent shivers across his heated skin. He ran his hands around John's body, not sure where to put them. But he wasn't sure he wanted them to be still. He wanted to feel all of John.   
  
He couldn't believe this was happening.   
  
John moved his lips down to Roman's neck, avoiding the bearded area. Roman panted for air. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to give John more room. "Thought you were straight, Cena."   
  
"I am," John growled into Roman's ear. "But you are fucking irresistible."   
  
Roman gasped. It was very unlike him to gasp. He didn't do that. Wasn't how he worked. But he couldn't help the reaction when he felt John grind their hips together. Two clothed semi-hard cocks brushing into eachother. It tore the out of character reaction from Roman before he could stop it. And Roman would gasp again if faced with this situation ever again.   
  
It had surprised him.   
  
He must be dreaming.   
  
He must have gotten concussed during the match earlier and this was a concussion dream. Because it couldn't possibly be real.   
  
Roman couldn't possibly be in the arms of the man he loved.   
  
A small voice in the back of his mind, barely audiable wondered if this was what Finn had felt when they had kissed the first time in the hallway those weeks ago.   
  
But Roman's mind didn't linger even a second on that thought as John started kissing him again. It was raw and hard lip smacking. Hungry. Thirsty. Needy.   
  
Roman needed the affection this man seemed willing to give him tonight.   
  
And John needed to get Roman out of his system.   
  
John pulled away and dropped his shorts and boxers. He stood in front of Roman completely naked and it made the younger man groan softly. John slowly jerked himself off, getting himself harder. "Suck me off," John ordered, giving Roman those sexy eyes. They were both serious and lusty.   
  
Roman gulped. He knelt on the carpet and placed a hand on John's hard muscled hip to steady himself.   
  
John was average sized, but his cock was sexy. Veiny ivory. Roman looked up at John as he leaned in and took the head of the hard cock in his mouth. He moaned. John's was in his mouth. It made Roman's pants unbearably tight.   
  
Strong callused hands slid to the back of Roman's head, nails scratching his scalp as they traveled. The hands held Roman in place instead of guiding him further. Roman looked up in question, wondering if John wanted him to stop. Wondering if John had changed his mind. Instead, he found John's eyes closed, head tilted back, mouth slightly open. Then John's hips started to move forward, making Roman take more, before the cock was pulled out almost entirely.   
  
Roman moaned again, eyes drifting closed. John set a steady pace fucking Roman's mouth. The younger man gladly accepted it, slacking his jaw. The noises leaving him were absolutely obscene. No one would ever believe it was him. The sloppy throaty sounds of being used. Gagging and moaning.   
  
It wasn't like he never took a submissive role in the bedroom like this, but no one ever expected it. No one looked at Roman Reigns and thought of him getting face fucked. Also, Roman only really allowed certain people to use him like this. Very few people. He liked having sex that was a shared experience. It wasn't about him. It wasn't about the other person. It was about both.   
  
But right now, God... Roman was enjoying this being about John.   
  
Roman unbuttoned his jeans and slipped himself out of the confining material. Matching John's now frantic pace, Roman pumped his hard girth.   
  
"Damn, Roman," John sighed as he let go of Roman's head and took a step back. He stroked his cock as he took a look at the man kneeling before him. Roman's beard was shiny with drool. Roman was panting. Eyes were glassy as they looked up at John's face. Almost dreamy and needy.   
  
John leaned back in for a deep kiss. He helped Roman stand and they moved to the bed.   
  
Before sitting on the plush bed, Roman took off his clothes. Both men, now naked, laid together on the bed. Their hot bodies pressed together, rutting their hips. Creating this salivating friction. Roman felt heady. His mind was foggy with exhilaration.   
  
John Cena was touching him and he loved it so much.   
  
This was the man he had loved for a year. The man who had taught him so much about the business. The man who kept an eye on him and made sure he was on the right path. John Cena.   
  
Making out with him.   
  
Frotting his hot cock against Roman's.   
  
Grabbing a hold of Roman's ass in his bruising hands.   
  
Roman groaned into John's mouth as their tongues slid across each other.   
  
Words were at a minimum as John got up and grabbed a condom and lube (the lube he had bought specifically for this). He climbed back on the bed and tossed the lube to Roman. The Samoan took the small bottle and coated his fingers before putting them at his hole, legs dropping open for better access.   
  
John put the condom on and then went back to kissing Roman passionately. All the while, Roman was making sure he was stretching out well. It had been a long time since he had done this. He was tight and a part of him couldn't relax. The thought of connecting with John was making him so nervous. What if John regretted this after? Roman wouldn't be able to live with himself. He already felt like he was taking advantage of this situation by just showing up tonight.   
  
But it wasn't Roman who was taking advantage of John. It might just be the other way around. John was 100% sure he was using Roman's love for him as a means to get laid.   
  
John was so turned on looking at Roman under him. Listening to those soft groans and grunts sent blood pumping to his already hard cock. He wanted to be in Roman badly.   
  
He's not sure what spell Roman had put him under these last few months, but it was making John forget himself. John was a caring person. He liked going slow and steady. And yet here he was ready to cum from the anticipation.   
  
"Are you ready?" John whispered hotly against Roman's ear.   
  
Roman removed his fingers and nodded. He probably could have stretched longer, but he couldn't think properly. He just wanted to feel John in him, soon. He wanted the man he loved to make love to him.   
  
John took himself and lined up with Roman's lubed hole. Slowly he pushed in, his body pressing against Roman's, arms stiff to hold him up.   
  
Roman's face scrunched up. There was pain. He hissed at the pressure.   
  
"Relax," John grunted, looking at Roman with half-lidded blue eyes.   
  
"Sorry, it's been a long time since I've been on this end."   
  
John kissed Roman, lethargic and thoughtful, trying to bring Roman out of his nervous energy. Roman reached down and jerked himself off between his and John's hard abs. The action and John's kiss eventually let him relax, and the pain started to subside.   
  
Their hips started to move together, shallow and slow.   
  
Roman's empty hand gripped at John's back, digging dull nails into the bulging muscles. He moaned and sighed as John thrusted into him. The pace got quicker and quicker until they were frenzied. Both men panting and moaning.   
  
The sound of skin against skin filled the room, mingling with their voices. John leaned forward more, making Roman's hips lift off the bed, thrusting deeper. It felt so good. Sweat sheened over their bodies. Roman's senses were overloading. The friction in him. The feel of John's hips slapping against his ass. The way John kissed him sometimes- that taste. The smell of sex in the air. The sound of thier combined enjoyment. And the sight of the man he loved above him.   
  
He felt intoxicated by the entire thing. It was everything Roman had imagined.   
  
"Fuck," Roman panted. "I'm going to cum."   
  
John growled. He angled his hips and snapped long thrusts in and out of Roman, sending the Samoan off the edge. The thick cock oozed cum over Roman's knuckles. Roman's vision went white and he might have stopped breathing as his body tensed, then released.   
  
John continued to fuck into Roman, savoring the way the muscle tightened comfortably around him.   
  
A few minutes passed before John hummed deeply, hips stuttering against Roman. The length in Roman pulsed as it released into the condom. The Samoan ran his hands up and down John's sides as he watched John's face contort and bliss out from the orgasm.   
  
Then their bodies slumped together, two large muscular men in a heap of tangled limbs and panting breaths.   
  
When John pulled out, it stung a little and Roman bit back the grimace. It was the only thing out of place in the serenity he felt being under John's sex sated body. Roman closed his eyes and took a deep breath, taking it all in.   
  
His heart felt so happy.   
  
John rolled off of Roman and gave a dramatic sigh. He looked over at Roman's sappy smile. And a pang of guilt hit him hard.   
  
He reached over and took Roman's bearded jaw in his hand before kissing him. "This shouldn't happen again," He whispered. He sat up, not wanting to look at Roman's face. He just used this man. And now that it was over he felt horrible. He had utterly enjoyed himself. But he knew this wasn't right. "I will never love you Roman. Not the way you love me."   
  
And just like that, the bliss- the gentle warmth in his heart, flew away. And Roman was left feeling empty.   
  
This wasn't surprising.   
  
Roman was actually expecting this before the sex.   
  
Didn't mean it hurt any less.   
  
He nodded and gave John a smile that couldn't quite be considered a smile. It was just a press of his lips and downcast eyes.   
  
"I know," Roman rumbled. "I never meant to push it this far."   
  
John sighed. He scrubbed a hand over his light brown hair. "No. I pushed it this far. You didn't approach me with this, I did. I'm sorry."   
  
Roman sat up, extremely aware of how naked he was and the twinge of pain from his hips. He lifted his hand, hesitating. Then he rested it on John's back. He looked at his hand for a few second before looking up at John's face. "I wanted this. I wanted to at least say I had one night with you."   
  
A small smile played on John's lips. He stood and walked across the room and grabbed his shorts from the floor. He spoke again as he pulled the fabric on. "I think you should go. ... I'm sorry I can't be that person, Roman."   
  
"Hey," Roman replied, clearing his throat. "Can't help who you like."   
  
Roman pulled on his clothes, avoiding eye contact with John. When he was fully dressed he looked over at the man and smirked. He pulled the hood of his sleeveless sweatshirt over his head, happy he wasn't looking at John for a second. "Thank you... for tonight."   
  
John sat on the corner of the bed and waved at Roman as the Samoan left the room. He felt exhausted, and not just from the mind blowing orgasm he had. He was tired because in his heart he knew this had to be done.   
  
But a part of him wondered if he actually should have.   
  
Should he have fucked Roman?   
  
Should he have followed Randy's advice to get Roman out of his system?   
  
Because, as he stared at the closed hotel room door, John knew for a fact that the Samoan man was not close to being out of his system.   
  
He cursed under his breath and dropped his head to his hands. John Cena might have just royally fucked up. He wanted a man he couldn't ever love. He wanted this beautiful sexual being as his, despite not being able to offer anything else other than carnal fulfillment. And it made him feel so ashamed.   
  


* * *

  
Outside the door, Roman's shoulders slumped. He screwed his eyes shut.   
  
He had expected this.   
  
He had heeded the warnings of Seth and Dean.   
  
He had understood from the very beginning that John Cena was a straight man who's life goals were different from his.   
  
Roman knew this.   
  
Roman had told himself this from the very beginning. Before confessing in Brooklyn. Before this whole complicated high school drama bullshit took over his entire life.   
  
Roman fucking knew this was going to happen, okay?   
  
He had mentally prepared for it from day one. From the moment he realized he had fallen for his mentor.   
  
He fucking knew.   
  
He fucking knew.   
  
He knew.   
  
And it still hurt so much.   
  
Roman shoved his trembling hands into his pockets and took the long walk of shame back to his empty room.   
  
He decided not to room with Seth that night. He had a feeling this- or something like this- was going to happen and in all honesty, Roman wasn't sure he wanted to deal with Seth. Or Dean. Or Renee. Or anyone else who would give him pitiful glances.   
  
So he sat in his lonely room, the bed lamp giving this soft yellow glow. A bottle of liquor from the minibar sat at his side. It was a small bottle, but it was almost finished.   
  
He had been such a fool.   
  
Who willingly went into a situation that would hurt them?   
  
Only Roman.   
  
Only he would decide to do this to himself.   
  
And then he remembered that Finn had done the same to an extent.   
  
Roman shook his head. He and Finn were too alike. They both would rather self-destruct then wonder _what if._   
  
It didn't matter now.   
  
Roman had a broken heart no matter what he had done. Because the man he loved was straight.   
  
And he had to move on.   
  
Roman had to move on.   
  
He had a career and a family to think of.   
  
But he was in so much pain right now.   
  
How did a great night of retaining the title and having sex with John Cena turn into drinking alone in a hotel, looking out at the view of a city that would jail him if they found out he just had sex with another man?   
  
Roman brought the bottle to his lips again and took a long swig.   
  
The burn of the strong brown liquor mingled with the burn of tears in Roman's brown eyes.   
  
Fuck he was so fucking stupid.   
  
And so alone. He wanted to be held right now. But he was alone.   
  
In his drink hazed mind a face came to mind and he smiled sadly. If only he had loved that man instead, this heartache would have never happened.   
  
If only Roman loved Finn, they would be in eachother's arms.   
  
Instead, Roman was alone and drunk. Pitiful and tired.   
  


* * *

  
**November 3, 2018**   
  
Roman and some of the male roster landed in Madrid, Spain that afternoon, only having a few hours until the show started.   
  
The ladies, who weren't allowed at Crown Jewel had spent their days off exploring, but Roman wouldn't have that luxury. He had interviews and appearences and photo sessions that kept him occupied just before the show started.   
  
He was doing an autograph signing with Seth and Bayley and Sasha. The line was long and He had signed so many autographs his hand was cramping. His jaw hurt from all the smiling pictures he took. And his head hurt from the slight hangover he was nursing. His entire body hurt from the fight and the fuck yesterday.   
  
A not so fun reminder of how fucking stupid he felt.   
  
Finally, the line was finished. The staff closed off the room and it was just the 4 wrestlers and the WWE staff working the event. Roman slumped back in the uncomfortable chair. He scrubbed his hands down his face.   
  
"So what did you guys do these last few days," Seth asked, stretching his arms up and back, loosening his tense muscles. "Anything fun?"   
  
Sasha winked at him with a playful smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know?"   
  
Seth laughed. "Well, Sasha if you're willing to tell, I can listen."   
  
Bayley faked a barfing sound as Seth and Sasha chuckled. She shook her head and sighed, eyes dreamy, remembering the sights and the sounds of Spain over the last few days. "It was so fun. We got to sight see. And there were these great restaurants! Before we leave we need to go to this cafe we stopped by yesterday, Seth. I know you'll enjoy it."   
  
"Finn wasn't with you?" Roman asked before he realized it.   
  
Sasha glared at Roman. It was an angry glare. Well she didn't hide her feelings apparently.   
  
Bayley let out a breath through her nose and pressed her lips together in thought. She looked away from Roman and crossed her arms over her chest. "He took some time off and went back to Ireland to visit his family, you know since he didn't have a match at Crown Jewel."   
  
Roman nodded. Seth watched him from the corner of his eye, wondering what his friend was thinking about.   
  
"He needed time to get away, Roman," Bayley continued. She cleared her throat and looked back at Roman, eyes hard. He was sure she could hurt him if she really wanted to. And he might deserve it since he hurt her friend, like he promised he wouldn't. "He should have touched down for the show tonight, though. You might catch him at the arena."   
  
Roman stood from the chair and grabbed the title from off the table. "It's okay. I don't think I should bother him. I'll see you guys at the arena."   
  
Seth's doe brown eyes looked up at the ceiling. Roman's footsteps disappeared behind the door and Seth couldn't help the sigh.   
  
Bayley and Sasha nodded at him as if they agreed to whatever he was thinking.   
  
"Yep," Sasha said to no one in particular. "Blind. Everyone is blind to what is right in front of them."   
  
Bayley gave Sasha a pointed look that Seth didn't catch. He was too busy trying to figure out what could have brought Roman this down.   
  
But somewhere in his mind he remembered that John had been at the show last night. And his heart constricted for Roman. He hoped nothing happened. He hoped for his friend's sake, that Roman didn't do anything dumb.   
  


* * *

  
**Woop. There it is. So much angst. Sorry guys. Good news tho, you at least got 2 sex scenes lol. I'll update soon. Work has been hectic lately.  
  
_Love Natsuki Lee_**


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's after Crown Jewel and everyone is a huge mass of angst, lust, and confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are any mistakes. I tried to edit this as best I could. But it's like 45 pages long sooo... enjoy.

**November 5, 2018**   
  
With Crown Jewel come and gone, it was time to move on with the show.   
  
Roman knew alot was going to happen. He was going to need to get ready for his match at Survivor series against AJ Styles. It was sure to bring the house down. Roman couldn't wait honestly. They had fought before, years ago. A title match where Roman retained. (That was the night Seth came back from injury if Roman remembered correctly.)   
  
But then there was the mind games from Dean to Seth tonight. He just knew it. And he was sure Seth knew how to play that game back. He had done it before with the Authority. Roman had no doubt his brothers were going to murder eachother and it was no longer his problem. They made that very clear.   
  
Also the matter of who would be his next opponent was itching at his brain. He was tired of Braun. And he was exhausted of Brock. And he was sure the entire WWE Universe would agree.   
  
It was time to move on and find someone new to bring into the main event picture. And Roman could name so many of the guys in the back who were ready to step up. Even the guys barely on TV like Heath Slater or Apollo Crews. There were guys in the back clawing for a push. And Roman was happy to defend his title against anyone willing.   
  
So right after Corbin had been out on the stage announcing that he chose team captains for the womens and mens Survivor Series teams, Roman went to the ring. He announced that he was having another open challenge for the championship, despite having defended it in a grueling match on Friday, taking several long plane rides, and wrestling at 2 house shows. He waited, the crowd in Manchester, England cheered.   
  
England was always ready for an impromtu title match   
  
Dolph Ziggler's music started playing before it was scratched out. Dolph was alone, surprisingly.   
  
He had already been announced as a member of the men's Survivor Series team, but Dolph was sure he wanted to be champion more than be on the damn team.   
  
Roman cracked his neck as he waited for Dolph to enter the ring and start the match. But as the usual shtick with Dolph, he had something to say first. Dolph blabbed on about how he should have won the WWE World Cup at Crown Jewel and that he had unfairly lost because of Shane Mcmahon inserting himself.   
  
Roman didn't like Dolph. Not a damn fucking bit. But he did have a valid point. So Roman let him blab on for another minute.   
  
Of course, Roman still rolled his eyes and motioned for Dolph to hurry the hell up.   
  
Getting the message, Dolph tossed the mic to the side and got ready.   
  
The bell rang and they started an athletic match. Alot of near falls that drove the crowd wild. And it was only the first match of the night.   
  
The match was already going on 20 minutes when Roman speared Dolph pretty hard, making the lighter man flip 360 and landing with and oof on the ring. Roman covered him and the ref counted.   
  
The crowd cheered Roman even though they would normally hate him. It was surprising what a good match would do to the perception of a wrestler's ability.   
  
Roman stood and had his arm raised by the ref. As he held the title over his head on the turnbuckle, the ref went to help Dolph stand.   
  
Roman hopped down from the turnbuckle and looked at Dolph. He was slumped against the ref's body, eyes wary on Roman. Roman stuck his hand out to Dolph's surprise. The crowd was a mix of yeses and noes. A couple fans booing loudly. Others appreciated Roman's sportsmanship and clapped.   
  
Dolph gulped and looked at Roman steadily. Then he took Roman's hand and shook it. No smiles or good wishes. Just a sign of respect.   
  
Roman let go of the hand and watched as Dolph screamed and yelled for the crowd to hear that this wasn't over. That Dolph would be back. And Roman smirked. He wouldn't mind another match like that with Dolph. Roman lifted the title again and turned to the crowd listening to them cheer.   
  
As Dolph disappeared backstage, Corbin came back out. Roman rolled his eyes and leaned against the red ring ropes.   
  
What now?   
  
"As was previously announced, Roman you will face AJ Styles at Survivor Series in a champion vs champion match," Corbin said. "But I just got a call from Stephanie Mcmahon and she wants us to find a new number one contender for the Universal Championship. So I've come up with a great idea. After Survivor Series, there will be an 8 man tournament. The #1 contender match will be fought at TLC in December."   
  
Roman pursed his lips, eyebrows going up. He smirked and said, "about time you had a decent idea," even though no one would hear him over the crowd.   
  
Corbin exited, the show went to commercial and Roman went to the back.   
  


* * *

  
Roman watched from backstage as Seth Rollins went to the center of the ring. He was sitting near the makeup tables watching on the monitor there. Only the lovely ladies who did hair and makeup were there, cleaning up their gear after hours and hours of making everyone look good. So it was relatively peaceful.   
  
But Roman's heart was all but peaceful knowing that something would happen to his friend. Most likely involving his other friend. Man he was actually really happy they had forced him to stay out of this. Because this was beyond dramatic.   
  
Seth talked, congratulated Roman on retaining the title twice over the past few weeks. Then he went on to talk about his own championships. It was both comical and sad to see the two tag team title straps over his shoulder like a shawl. And then the Intercontinental championship around his waist looked unused and lonely.   
  
But before Seth could continue about how horrible a champion he was because he kept focusing on Dean, Baron came out. Again.   
  
Baron Corbin was sure busy tonight.   
  
Baron decided that Seth would have a match. Defending his tag titles, without his partner- since Dean wanted nothing to do with him.   
  
Roman couldn't help but groan when AOP came out. Out of all teams, AOP could beat Seth within an inch of his life.   
  
And they did, pretty much. Just threw him around like a rag doll.   
  
Then it was over and the titles no longer belonged to Seth (and Dean). They now belonged to the young hulking men and their pipsqueek manager. And Seth, who knelt defeated in the ring, sweating and tired, looked hurt. Because those titles weren't just his. They were his and Dean's. They were the last string that connected Dean to him before Dean attacked him that night in Providence, RI.   
  
The titles weren't just a strap to carry around as a symbol of victory. They were a symbol of success and triumph between two people. But they were now lost, just as was the friendship between Dean and Seth. Between the Shield itself.   
  
Roman's eyes flashed with sadness, not that anyone would see it. No one was looking at him as he sat in the back. Alone.   
  
Forever alone, now.   
  
His friends were ignoring eachother so they rarely came around Roman in fear of being around the other. He had no Finn to keep his body and mind warm at night. And no John to get his heart beating fast and his soul yearning.   
  
Just alone.   
  
Except for the few makeup ladies still lingering with their kits.   
  
Roman sighed softly.   
  
His attention came back to the screen when he saw Dean slowly walk from the crowd and walk up the steps into the ring. He knelt in front of Seth and scowled deeply. "You wanna know why I did what I did?"   
  
Dean just shook his head and got up, stepping back.   
  
Roman's heart clenched as he could heard Seth's voice over the crowd. Asking why. Repeatedly. Looking at Dean with big eyes, questioning, sad, angry. Roman wanted to help so bad. He wanted to go down there an stop this. But he couldn't anymore. This was between his brothers. He couldn't put his foot in this. He had his own stuff to worry about.   
  
And yet he still felt horrible. He felt like he was abandoning their brotherhood. Like he was abandoning Seth. Dean. Their family.   
  
Roman closed his eyes, screwing them shut. He knew what was next. Dirty Deeds. Roman opened his eyes at the sound of impact.   
  
Dean circled Seth, snarling before he walked off and up the ramp. Seth sat in the ring, a lost look on his pretty face.   
  
Roman couldn't help the wince on his face when the screen cut to commercials. The need in him to go out there and grab both men by the back of their heads and knock them together was strong. He wanted to be the big brother here and yet he had to sit and watch until this all played out.   
  
Maybe he should ignore them like they ignored his work life?   
  
The show went on like normal and he didn't see Dean or Seth the rest of the night. Both men were hiding from him. Dean probably didn't want another disappointed look. And Seth probably didn't want pity.   
  
He ignored the sadness that took him over as he watched Finn Balor go against Bobby Lashely again.   
  
He watched beautiful Finn try his best to win over Bob, but Lio Rush was at it again. And Finn lost. Bobby's alliance with Lio Rush was apparently beneficial to the bigger man. Even though Lio Rush was an annoying son of a bitch.   
  
Roman wanted to go out there and help Finn again. He just couldn't deal with seeing the man he had held in his arms so many times crumpled on the mat like a rag doll.   
  
In the back of his mind, a small flame flickered in the wind, like a sign. Trying to tell Roman that it wasn't normal to feel this way about someone who was just casual. But Roman didn't even register the thoughts. He was too busy watching as Drew Mcintyre's music played.   
  
What the fuck was Drew doing coming out so quickly? Sure his match was next, but what reason did he have to come and interrupt Lashley's little victory? Roman narrowed his eyes, watching closely.   
  
Drew stared down Lashley. The two men locked eyes and glared, poor Finn sitting almost between them. Then Drew dramatically took off his sleeveless leather coat, flipped his hair and got in Lashley's face. Lio had to pull Lashley away, saying "not today."   
  
Lashley and Rush left the ring. And Drew looked down at Finn. Roman's body tensed and his jaw clenched.   
  
He didn't like this.   
  
He was sure Drew Mcintryre was an asshole with a mean streak. It wouldn't be a huge surprise if he attacked Finn, just to prove some sick point about being the best.   
  
But then Drew took Finn's arm in his hand and nodded, hefting Finn to his feet.   
  
Roman liked this even less.   
  
A flurry of jealousy stormed through him as he watched Finn stand beside Drew, looking at him in confusion and weariness. He didn't like the way Drew was holding Finn. Drew didn't touch people in a friendly way. So why now? With Finn of all people? Was it some weird UK sympathy since they both came from this part of the world? Or was Drew trying to get on Finn's good side.   
  
Either way, it colored Roman's face with disgust and anger. He was really starting to not like Mcintyre. Well. He already hated the dude, but now, so much worse.   
  
Roman watched as Finn patted Drew on the chest in thanks, breathing ragged and mouth open in pain. Drew looked like he didn't appreciate that much and slowly looked over at Finn. The smaller man tried to step away, but Drew held him firmly in place. Roman sneered. Finn looked up at Drew, eyes tired and cautious.   
  
An in a few quick seconds, Drew pushed Finn back into the ropes and hit him with the Claymore kick.   
  
Roman's fists balled at his sides, watching Drew stand up and stare down at Finn.   
  
Finn didn't deserve this. Finn didn't deserve to be beat up and tossed around like that. He was an amazing athlete. Everyone knew that. Finn was amazing in the ring. But these last few weeks...   
  
These last few weeks, Finn just wasn't in on his A game.   
  
Guilt weighed on Roman's heart as he stared at the tables they had used for the makeup counters, lost in thought.   
  
Finn didn't deserve to be distracted in the ring. And he didn't deserve Roman's sympathy.   
  
Finn was too much of an amazing person. And Roman didn't deserve his love.   
  
Maybe that's why he rejected it? Roman thought. Maybe Roman didn't think he deserved the love of a great man like Finn and that's why he pushed Finn away so quickly.   
  
He shook the thoughts from his head.   
  
No, he told himself.   
  
He pushed Finn away because he loved John. Then John pushed him away. His friends pushed him away.   
  
Roman stood and grabbed the championship. He walked in the direction of the locker room, passing many smiling faces on his way. He was hoping to just leave early. Ask Vince if he could duck out before the main event. Tell the old man that he wasn't feeling well. A cold or something simple like that so Vince wouldn't worry. Roman just needed to get away.   
  
Being there was stifling him.   
  
As he walked out passed the guerilla, he paused, almost bumping into Finn Balor. Of course. Because who else would it have been?   
  
Finn had a hand on the back of his neck and an arm around his middle. Sweat dripped down his tired beat up body. But when he saw Roman, Finn's posture straightened and a sad smile pulled at his reddened saliva slicked lips.   
  
Roman tried to smile back, but he couldn't make his face cooperate with his brain. "Hey."   
  
Finn nodded, gulping air. "Hi."   
  
"You okay?" Roman asked, looking away. His heart clenched. Finn looked so beat up. Roman ignored the urge swelling deep in his chest to hold Finn in his arms.   
  
"Seen better days," Finn muttered. He lifted his hand up to put it on Roman's shoulder. Roman watched the hand hover in the air. It was obvious Finn was thinking about it. Was this okay? Should he touch Roman right now? Would Roman be okay with this? ...Roman didn't blame Finn for second-guessing the action.   
  
He was surprised when the hand finally landed on his arm. It was comforting to feel that familiar hand squeeze his bicep. Roman looked up at the touch.   
  
"Are _you_ okay, Roman?," Finn asked, voice low but serious.   
  
Roman's face twisted into a sad little smile, eyebrows furrowed down, eyes blurry and tired. "Seen better days," he repeated.   
  
Those eyes Roman had found so striking looked at him with heartbreak clearly reflecting from those ocean blue hues. "Don't waste away, Roman," Finn whispered, his fingers gripped into Roman's arm. "Please. If you need someone to talk to, come to me. ...Just to talk. I-"   
  
Roman watched the conflict in Finn's eyes. He could see the gears working at light speed in Finn's mind. And despite the warning alarms blaring in Roman's head to run away, he stayed still and waited to hear what Finn had to say.   
  
"I can't stand to see you like this. I love you, Roman." Finn's voice was shaky at best. Roman's heart pounded in his chest and he felt a heavy ache wash over him the minute he heard Finn say those words. There was a second where Finn just looked into Roman's eyes, trying to convey his sincerity. Short and shallow breaths left Finn's open mouth. Vulnerable and tired. "I love you, so I can't allow you to burn out like this. So please, talk to me. Let me listen. Nothing more. Just a shoulder to cry on."   
  
He scrubbed a hand down his beard and looked away, feeling Finn's eyes sear into his skin. The feeling, the emotions in the air, sent sparks down his body. Finn's hand on his shoulder felt like hot coals. "I'll be okay," Roman said. Was it a lie? He wasn't sure. "But thank you for looking out for me."   
  
With that, Roman tore himself from Finn's grasp with as much composure and ease as he could. He walked down the hallway, steps quick. And when he got to a secluded area he leaned against the wall, pressed the heel of his palms to his eyes and tried to level his breathing.   
  
What was wrong with him?   
  
This should be the time of his life! He was a fighting champion. Instead, he was miserable. He had no friends at his side. He had made a fool of himself to the man he loved with all his heart. And another man cared for him so much and he couldn't bare to give him the time of day if it didn't involve a dick in his mouth.   
  
Roman was a mess.   
  
He wasn't like this.   
  
Roman was strong.   
  
He would get through all of this bullshit.   
  
He didn't need anyone else.   
  
Just him.   
  
Roman was going to be okay. He planned on it. He had a title and a brand to defend. Fuck everything else.   
  
It's time he focused on Roman Reigns.   
  


* * *

  
Time passed by slowly for Roman. Weeks ticked by like years, but they still went by. His work week started on Friday. House shows, then Raw on Monday. And in between media and interviews and whatever else WWE could throw his way, Roman would try to spend time with his daughter and the rest of his family.   
  
During those weeks, Roman centered himself.   
  
He had too.   
  
Or at least he tried to.   
  
Everything going on with Dean was still in full affect. Roman could still hear Dean growl that Roman had made him week. Those words had nearly taken Roman down. He had called Dean and yelled. Oh man, did he yell? And everytime Dean hung up to get away from the yelling, Roman would redial and continue where he was interrupted. He just wanted to know what the fuck was Dean's problem. But Dean simply chuckled, dark and sad. "You made me weak Ro. You cared about me so much I lost my edge. And it's the edge I want back. I want to be me again. Not Dean from the Shield."   
  
Roman hadn't talked to Dean since.   
  
His road-wife, his best friend blamed him (and Seth) for losing his identity. And it pissed Roman off. But it also made Roman upset. Did he really make Dean weak? It gnawed at Roman's heart.   
  
At least he still had Seth around, though. ...Well, Seth still sent Roman knowing looks anytime Roman's eyes followed Finn down the halls. But Seth didn't push it anymore, because he was in his own crisis. Not only the Intercontinental championship stuff and Dean, but Seth was starting to hang out with Bayley alot now. More than before. Especially since Bayley usually roomed with him. Sasha apparently had a secret relationship and Bayley let Sasha take the room. So Seth had agreed many times to let Bayley sleep in his room if he could. Because you know, Bayley couldn't just get her own room, Roman smirked.   
  
And man, Seth was really enjoying his time with her. She had always been funny and cool, but only recently was Seth realizing how sexy Bayley was. It might have something to do with those tiny shorts Bayley wore to bed.   
  
Roman didn't know about that though. Seth couldn't bear to tell him that he was just as blind as Roman was.   
  
As much as Roman would rib Seth for falling for Bayley after years of being friends, Seth didn't tell him. Because Seth could see it in the way Roman held himself lately, Roman was trying to get his life in order.   
  
But Seth didn't miss the feelings that flashed through Roman's eyes anytime Finn laughed or smiled across the main monitor area in the back.   
  
Seth could tell Roman had demons in him that he needed to fight. Something in his heart that he needed to move past. Seth still hadn't found out about Roman's night at Crown Jewel with John Cena. Roman didn't even allude to it. But Seth had a feeling that something happened. Something that hurt Roman more than the big dog would like to admit. So he was sure that Roman was trying to move on from John. Maybe- Seth hoped more than he hoped his team would make it to the superbowl- Roman was realizing that he was head over heels with Finn Balor.   
  
Roman wasn't sure if he was though. Not like he wanted to think about his love life. He was still heartbroken over the John Cena chew and screw er- sex and walk of shame. And he just wanted to focus on work. On himself.   
  
But he was fine. Really, if he put his mind to it. Like, yeah, sure his entire world was blazing fire around him. But dammit, he was standing tall. And he wasn't going to let the burning world bring him down. Roman knew he was okay at the end of the day.   
  
He just missed holding someone at night. He missed being held. He was having a hard time falling asleep too.   
  
The idea of calling Finn up to talk was entirely too tempting. But Roman refused to do it. He refused to lead Finn on.   
  
But he couldn't stop thinking of Finn. He hadn't stopped thinking about Finn since... well for a few months now.   
  
Finn plagued his thoughts. Those enticing blue eyes beckoned to him during those lonely nights. If he wasn't thinking about Finn, he was thinking about John. If he wasn't imagining one set of blue eyes, he was imagining the other.   
  
Roman was still kicking himself for everything that happened with John. Because he had been turned down in Brooklyn, basically turned down in Australia, fucked like a needy bitch in Saudi Arabia, and then turned down a final time. But dammit, Roman still liked John Cena.   
  
He tried to remind himself what Dean and Seth had told him many times. John wasn't the guy for Roman. They had so much in common but they were so different. And John was never going to want Roman for more than a one night stand. And it killed Roman inside. It hurt him like a sharp knife to the ribs.   
  
But he had to move on. Roman told himself all the time. He had to let go of John Cena.   
  
But like a bad omen of sorts, John would text Roman, sending advice about matches and promos leading up to Survivor Series. Roman was never going to be able to move on from John.   
  
No matter how often Finn's beautiful body laying on soft white bed sheets crossed Roman's mind late at night.   
  


* * *

  
**November 19, 2018**   
  
Survivor Series had gone amazingly. Roman's match didn't end up being with AJ Styles, but with Daniel Bryan. He hadn't fought Daniel in years. But that didn't change the caliber of the match. It was athletic and took alot of Roman thinking on his toes. It was fun! And Roman had a blast, even though Daniel had become a real dick lately.   
  
Raw had won a clean sweep if you didn't count the tag team survivor series match in the pre-show, like WWE brass had apparently done. And since the traditional survivor series match was a Raw victory, Braun Strowman had confronted a happy go lucky Stephanie Mcmahon about the deal he made with her. He made sure Raw won, so he gets to beat up Baron Corbin. Hey, whatever, Roman mused watching the screen. As long as Braun stays away from the Universal Title picture for a while, Roman would be happy. He needed a break from the large man.   
  
He also needed a break from Brock Lesnar, which will hopefully be coming true. The number 1 contender tournament was starting tonight and unless Brock was going to grace Raw with his presense, Roman highly doubted Brock was coming for the title.   
  
That didn't mean that brock was done forever, but at least this week. Or at least until Roman retained his championship at TLC next month.   
  
Because Roman didn't plan on losing his championship. It was his and he was going to hold on for as long as he could.   
  
Roman sighed when Stephanie promised Braun that he would have another title shot at the Royal Rumble, only if he beat Baron Corbin at TLC. One month of peace was all Roman was going to get, sadly.   
  
A few matches happened before Seth was in the ring talking about Dean. It gave Roman a headache. Seth had to have lost it. He was talking about how Dean had never picked up his calls. Obviously, Roman didn't know if that's true. And then Seth said that until Dean's Network special, he didn't know Dean had been capable of love. And Roman knew that was a lie.   
  
But maybe Seth was still seething from getting betrayed 4 weeks ago after winning the tag titles? Maybe Seth was saying these lies to fill the hole he felt at losing his good friend. Maybe Seth just wanted to hide the fact that he wasn't the best friend ever.   
  
Whatever Seth's reasoning, it still made Roman sad. He was watching his friends eat away at eachother.   
  
Seth called Dean out, no not Dean. He was calling him Ambrose. Ouch.   
  
Dean appeared on screen. Roman could only watch with a heavy heart and a sour feeling in the pit of his stomach. Dean started to ramble about how Seth hadn't figured it out yet. That things had changed. And Roman could attest to that. Things had changed. Because to Roman, this new Dean had lost him. But if the old Dean ever came back, Roman would be right there waiting for his best friend. Just like he had been for Seth in 2017.   
  
The ramblings went on. Dean talked about the horrible things they had done as the Shield years ago. That karma was coming. And soon all three men would pay for their crimes. Then he calls Seth to come find him, like a sick game of tag.   
  
And the sick game of tag continued for the rest of the show. Seth searching like a mad man. Dean creeping behind in the depths of the arena. Then the dingy smoking stairwell that reminded Roman of all the back corners he and the boys used to hide out. Soot smudged on Seth when in anger he slammed his hands on the door reading Burn it Down. At some point he was right behind Seth while Seth did an interview with Charly, stopping to look and smirk and then walk away. Roman wanted to yell at the screen. Like a fucked up episode of Dora the Explorer. It was haunting. It was scary.   
  
This was torture. Roman wanted to go out there. He wanted to go help Seth. He wanted to punch Dean in the face. He was also ready to punch Corey Graves in the face for talking to Renee in such a fucking accusatory tone. Corey had a damn nerve.   
  
But he didn't. He had his own shit to do tonight. Corbin had summoned him to the ring, probably in regards to the tournament for the number 1 contender spot. But while the whole fiasco with Seth and Dean playing a stupid game of hide and seek, other matches happened including a 6-man elimination tag match with Elias, Strowman, and Finn against Lashely, Mcintyre, and Baron Corbin. The match was good. A lot of back and forth, but Roman cringed when Finn was eliminated by Drew. Then Elias is counted out and Strowman is alone. Drew eliminates himself via disqualification after he brought a chair into play. But at this point all three men turn and attack Braun. They destroy Braun outside the ring.   
  
Roman didn't like the man that much, but Braun didn't deserve that. He was complaining about pain in his fingers and not being able to feel his arm, anyone watching could hear him. It was frightening. But the show went on and Roman got more and more impatient. He had a bad gut feeling about how things were going to play out for him later.   
  
Roman waited in the Gorilla Position just before Natalya's match with Ruby Riott, the last match before Corbin was scheduled to announce the participants of the tournament. Seth popped up on screen announcing that he was leaving. But Roman knew better. Especially since after Natalya returned victorious to the backstage area, Dean popped up on screen, headed towards the ring.   
  
Dean completely ignored Roman on his way through the gorilla. And it fucking pissed Roman off, dammit.   
  
And it made Roman feel so fucking alone.   
  
Fuck.   
  
Fuck this drama bullshit.   
  
He watched as Dean went to the ring taking shots at the fans. It was such a shit move by Dean to get heat. Roman knew Dean always knew how to play the game. But man Dean was laying the insults on thick.   
  
Then the camera flipped and Seth was running down the hallway. Roman knew he shouldn't be smirking. But he was. Seth ran by him and went to the ring, Dean looked a little nervous. They fought for a minute and it looked like Seth was going to come out on top, but Dean put him the dirty deeds and Seth was done. Dean started to leave but ran back around, grabbing Seth's face and screaming at him. It made Roman queasy. The fans were booing. Officials yelled at Dean to stop and go away but Dean just stood in front of Seth instead.   
  
And that was the last straw.   
  
Roman looked at the techie in the corner and cued him. His music started and Roman walked out to the ring, jaw set angrily and hand gripping the red belt strap over his shoulder. He slid into the ring and Dean slid out. Dean held his hands up and gave a smirk that to the fans looked cocky. But Roman knew Dean better than most, and that smirk was tragic. It was filled with hurt. Roman knew Dean was hurting. This was hurting Dean more than anything.   
  
Roman reminded himself to call Renee and check up on her. See how she was doing with all of this.   
  
Dean went backstage and Roman helped Seth up, the crowd cheering. He patted Seth on the back. Seth closed his eyes tight and muttered a thanks, then he slipped out of Roman's grasp and rolled out of the ring.   
  
The cameras cued a commercial.   
  
When they went back on air Baron came out. He went to the ring and told Roman that for the next 2 weeks a tournament will begin and the finals of the tournament will be at TLC on December 16, 2018.   
  
"So who's gonna be in it?" Roman asked, impatient with Baron's eat shitting attitude.   
  
Baron smirked. He pointed up at the titantron and a bracket appeared. Eight competitors.   
  
"So what?" Roman asked. "You called me out here tonight to show me the participants of the tournament and I'm supposed to be surprised that you put yourself there?"   
  
"No," Baron replied. "I don't care if you're surprised or not. I called you out here to make sure you understand that I'm coming for your title!"   
  
Before Roman could react, Baron threw his mic to the side and closelined Roman. The Samoan dropped to the mat coughing, reaching a hand to his neck. "And so are they!" Baron yelled loudly over the chorus of fans' boos.   
  
When Roman figured out what was going on, Lashley his man-child Lio Rush, and Drew Mcintyre were there and together with Baron Corbin they started a barrage of stomps.   
  
And no one came out to help him. No one ever comes out to help the champ. Especially when everyone wants to take the championship away from them. John had taught him that. The show ended with all three men standing above Roman's tired and beaten body.   
  


* * *

  
Roman was helped to the back by a ref and was led to the doctor's room. He wasn't surprised to see Seth Rollins still there after today's attack. He was surprised to not see Braun, but assumed the monster among men was shipped to the hospital since his injury looked severe.   
  
But Roman wasn't sure if he was surprised to see Finn there or not. He was surprised that Finn was just sitting there chatting with Seth. He was not surprised that Finn was around. Because as Roman remembered a bit fondly, Finn was always around when Roman needed him.   
  
And right now Roman needed him.   
  
But he couldn't- wouldn't tell him that.   
  
Finn smiled up at him when he came into view. The smile didn't reach those deep sea eyes and it made Roman's heart pang.   
  
"You okay?" Finn asked, voice calm and steady.   
  
It's all a lie, Roman thought. He knew Finn was hurting. He knew it. He knew because he caused that hurt. But here was Finn acting like he was okay. And it only made Roman feel worse. His body ached so much. His head hurt. He could go for a stiff drink.   
  
Roman grunted in response. It was no actual indication of what he was feeling, but it was all he could manage at the moment. His heart was beating quickly. Must be the last of his adrenaline pumping away.   
  
Seth cleared his throat, idly scratching at his thick dark beard. "Hey, thanks for earlier," he mumbled. "I appreciate it."   
  
"That's what brothers are for," Roman replied, eyes lowered as he started to remove the gear around his wrists. He knew what he said was loaded. There was so much to it. So much that went unsaid. Not like it needed to be said at all. Seth was his brother. And despite the bullshit Dean was pulling, he was Roman's brother too. Because Dean was just lost. Dean needed to find himself, Roman remembered. Dean had some deep mental shit to sort through. And Roman would be waiting for him on the other side of that battle, no matter how long it took.   
  
Fuck it. Maybe it does need to be said.   
  
"You and Dean both are my brothers and I'll watch over you both, you know that." He lifted his eyes as he spoke, locking into Seth's lovely doe shaped deep browns.   
  
"Yeah, brothers," Seth whispered like a sigh. He looked up at the ceiling, clearly uncomfortable with the seriousness of this conversation, especially around Finn and the doc. He then gulped whatever words were welling up in his throat. A slow blink back of emotions. He pressed his lips together and nodded. "Sorry I couldn't repay the favor," he finally said.   
  
Roman shrugged half-heartedly. "You were back here. You have your own thing, I have mine. Don't sweat it. I can handle this all by myself. I'm a big boy, Seth."   
  
"Ro..." Seth's voice pleaded as if he could read Roman's anxiety and anger building. Resentment. Annoyance. Mostly self targeted.   
  
"Enough, Seth," his tone was final. He was using his dad voice. Seth rolled his eyes. Roman could feel Seth's glare on his tanned skin. He sighed dramatically, his eyes raked over the room and he dropped his hands to his sides. "What?"   
  
Seth just looked at him, silently trying to convey his worry. He didn't want to speak out loud just in case Roman didn't want Finn to listen in.   
  
Roman growled, clearly exasperated. He was losing his patience very quickly today. It was pouring out of him like a faucet. All the shit with Seth and Dean and then getting attacked. Roman couldn't pull in the reigns of his irritation. He glared fiercely at his brother, his best friend. Jaw clenched and posture like an animal ready to attack. "What? You think I can't handle this? I fucking beat Braun Strowman and Brock Lesnar at the same time. What makes you think that I'm weaker now then I was before? Because before you would have never insinuated that I couldn't handle myself."   
  
"I never said that!" Seth barked back. He was standing, arms out. Defensive.   
  
"You don't have to! I can see it on your face! You think I'm going to have another panic attack. That I'm going to lose it. I know that's exactly what you're thinking about!" He roared.   
  
Seth dropped his arms and took a tentative step forward. "No, Rome. I just want to be there for you man. You're my brother. You have alot on your plate, and I want to be there for you like you've been there for me."   
  
Roman scrubbed his hands down his face. "Fuck this shit. I'm fine. I'm leaving."   
  
He grabbed the championship and stormed off. He didn't understand why he blew up like that at Seth. But he felt like he didn't need to take any of it back. He meant what he said. But, he had a feeling Seth could figure out what had happened just now. Even when Roman didn't.   
  
He was just so angry.   
  
So pissed off at himself.   
  
Months ago, if Roman had foreseen this as his future he would have done everything possible to change things. He would have never confessed to John. Would have never started fucking Finn. Would have spent more time with Dean, talked to him. Roman would have never let himself become this way. It should have never gotten this way. He should have listened to Dean and Seth. He should have never pined over John. But he couldn't fucking help it. He couldn't help the way he felt. It was fucking bullshit.   
  
Roman banged his fist against the cinderblock white washed wall as he walked to the locker room. He wasn't sure if he was happy or sad that it wasn't hard enough to bruise a knuckle or worse.   
  
He needed sleep.   
  
As Roman packed up his gear in the locker room and dressed in a comfy pair of jeans and a hoodie, he was expecting Finn to come in.   
  
But he didn't.   
  
He must have scared the Irishman away.   
  
Probably for the best.   
  


* * *

  
John felt feverish.   
  
Completely hot and dizzy.   
  
This was supposed to pass. Instead he was even more obsessed. With Roman Reigns of all people.   
  
Damn, he told Roman never again, but he needed Roman again. He craved the man so much. Like a drug. What kind of hold did Roman have on him. Since the night in Brooklyn when he confessed with a rushed kiss, Roman had been on John's mind from time to time. Months later and John Cena was almost obsessed with the fruit he shouldn't - _couldn't_ eat freely.   
  
He just kept hearing that sweet deep rumbling groan Roman made when John entered him in Saudi Arabia. Kept imagining the feel of that ass around his cock, tight and hot. John could see in mind's eye when Roman's strong hands gripped the bed sheets.   
  
Randy had been wrong. He didn't get Roman out of his system after a simple one night stand. No instead he was cursed further. Roman put a spell on him.   
  
And John wondered if this would all be solved if he just found a girlfriend and started having sex regularly. His obsession with a particular Samoan champion was surely just a reaction of being single and lonely with no one to release his sexual frustrations to. Roman had pulled the stress out of him with that orgasm. But he had replaced it with a mind twisting mania.   
  
He had had sex with men before. No one ever drove John Cena mad like this.   
  
John wanted to have Roman again.   
  
Wanted those lips around his cock again.   
  
And he will have him again. Roman won’t say no to John. ... Roman won't deny the man he loves, John thought. The simple phrase made John feel sick to his stomach. He was tolerating his own moral downfall for Roman's beautiful body.   
  
John couldn't even recognize himself anymore.   
  


* * *

  
The next week's Raw started with the first of the tournament matches. Roman watched from the monitor near the makeup artists' tables, not really wanting to interact with the rest of the roster. He didn't want to see Dean walking around. He didn't want to awkwardly stand next to Seth. He didn't want to have Bayley glare angrily at him when she passed him. And he didn't want to look at Finn and remember what he could have had if he was of sane mind.   
  
The first match of the night was Drew vs Curt Hawkins. To no one's surprise at all, Curt lost. How did Curt get into the competition? His losing streak was probably like 300 by now. Which, Roman mused, was better than nothing at all. Maybe. Roman cringed. His heart went out to the poor guy. To lose is one thing. To have Drew Mcintyre beat you to a pulp is another.   
  
Roman was feeling a bit calmer after taking a few days to reflect. He wasn't feeling as impatient. Must have been the time he spent with his daughter. It really made him sit and think about his life. His daughter made him remember what was important right now. And that was him. He needs to take care of himself. And if that meant cutting himself from the drama, he will.   
  
Roman knew what he wanted in life. And just because he couldn't get it out of John Cena didn't mean he couldn't have it in his life. Maybe not that night. But soon. Roman will be in a steady relationship with someone. He'll have a successful Universal title reign. He'll be surrounded by friends and family. Life was going to look up for Roman Reigns, no matter what. These dark times be damned.   
  
Next up on the card was the Revival versus the Lucha House Party. He wasn't sure what exactly Lucha House Rules were, but he was pretty sure the Revival were getting screwed over. Roman rolled his brown eyes as the Luchas won. Raw was fucking weird lately. Baron Corbin was really not good at his job. Was Stephanie even watching the show? Was Vince? How has this continued to go on?   
  
He knew Stephanie was a total power trip lover, but Corbin didn't even do a good job abusing his powers. He just kept beating people up with no reward. Maybe that's why he inserted himself into the title tournament? But, Roman thought, if he knew Braun, Corbin was fucked.   
  
There were a few things about Nia and Tamina. Nia will be going against Ronda at TLC. He was nervous for his family member. She put on a strong face, always channelling her anger in the ring, but Roman knew she was scared. He knew she was a kind soul inside. He'll call her and Tamina up about training together again. Get them ready with some Samoan flair. But that facecrusher thing. Did commentary have to keep saying that? Roman sighed. Hopefully Nia could live up to that nickname at TLC.   
  
Next match for the tournament came on after the women's spot. It was Lashley against Apollo Crews. Roman watched the match intently. One of these guys could be coming for him. And Roman didn't underestimate either man. Lashley won. Roman's full lips twitched down, almost a frown, but not quite reaching the dissapointment he was feeling. Apollo would have been fun to go against.   
  
Next was the tag match which grossed Roman out. Drake Maverick just pissed on live tv. Roman shook his head. So weird.   
  
Finn Balor versus Jinder Mahal came on and Roman was happy to get some semblance of normalcy after seeing a small man pee on a flashy robe on live tv. Finn looked amazing out there. Roman watched his every move. He reminded himself that it was because he knew Finn would pull the win against Jinder. But somewhere deep in him a small flame flickered, deep in the edges of his consciousness. Where he ignored. He pumped his fist in the air, happy as hell that Finn got the coup de gras on Jinder. A pin and Finn won.   
  
The make up girls looked at Roman with amused smiles, entertained by his reaction to Finn Balor winning a match that could lead to the Irishman facing Roman at the Royal Rumble.   
  
So far so good. So far Roman was feeling good about the show. But he hadn't seen Dean yet outside of the feud videos they kept showcasing from commentary.   
  
And like a badly timed weight on Roman's heart, Dean appeared on screen. In a really shitting interpretation of a doctors office. Roman closed his eyes, suddenly tired watching Dean get vaccinated. Dean. Roman smiled listening to Dean speak. God he was so mad at his brother, but this was still funny as hell. Dean lost his damn mind, but Roman knew Dean was gonna be okay. He just had to get Seth out of his system. Had to get this -whatever this was- out of his system.   
  
Hopefully sooner rather than later.   
  
After a commercial break, Roman decided to move around since he was starting to feel anxious just sitting around watching. It was weird not wrestling. Maybe he should go out there and answer Seth's open challenge. Imagining Seth's shocked reaction, Roman chuckled to himself. He should go apologize to Seth, later. Maybe over a beer at the hotel bar. Seth had just been worried about him. Roman wished Seth wasn't worried about him, but he was a damn fool for pushing Seth away when they both needed eachother right now.   
  
Roman wandered to the catering area to grab something to munch on while he watched the rest of the show.   
  
As he was perusing the fruit basket for something healthy, he felt eyes on the back of his neck. WWE had a knack for backstage brawls and attacks so Roman readied himself, looking over his shoulder slowly, eyes narrowed.   
  
Instead of a physical attack, there came an attack on his beating heart. Finn was standing behind him. Roman's eyes quickly raked over the body admiring the way the red trunks hugged those perfect hips, the pert ass molding the fabric so the teasing curve of delicious cheeks could be imagined in great detail. Instead of the leather jacket he usually wore to the ring, he was now wearing one of his merch t's. And those crystalline ocean water eyes looked back at Roman, steady and focused.   
  
The handsome features on the Irishman's face were serious and a little hesitant.   
  
And after Roman's outburst in the doc's room last week, Roman wasn't surprised that Finn was cautious. Roman sighed and scratched a hand on the back of his neck. "Hey."   
  
Finn blinked slowly, face not changing as he gave back a similar soft "Hey," and a short nod.   
  
Roman licked his lips unconsciously. Then his body stiffened as Finn took a step forward. He almost expected Finn to wrap those arms around his body like they had done many times during those weeks they had slept together. But they were in public. And Finn wouldn't dare. Roman was just over thinking things, he thought.   
  
Instead Finn reached around Roman and grabbed a bottle of water and a protein bar. He just barely brushed past Roman's arm, but didn't touch him. Tiny soft hairs stood on the back of Roman's neck, like electricity.   
  
Finn then shifted to stand back infront of Roman, taking a long gulp of the water bottle. His skin was no longer shiney with sweat from his match, but his dark short hair was still a little damp and tousled. It stuck out in every direction and Roman had to pull himself back from reaching up and fixing it.   
  
Finn's eyes were expectant. Waiting for Roman to say something.   
  
But Roman didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he was feeling at the moment being this close to Finn. It always made him loopy.   
  
Figuring out that Roman wasn't going to say anything, Finn started to walk away, but before his brain could even catch up with his body, Roman reached out, taking Finn's hand in his, effectively pulling Finn back.   
  
Somewhere in the back of Roman's mind he registered that he was probably missing Seth's match. But at that very moment, it seemed far from important. As horrible as that sounded.   
  
Finn's eyebrows arched at Roman's hand in his. Roman's eyebrows arched too. What the fuck was he doing? He quickly let go, his large square hand falling to his side lifeless.   
  
Roman looked around as he swallowed, trying to figure out what to say. What words would make sense right now. He was so unsure of himself. Roman was still lost in his own problems, but Finn had made those problems disappear before. Maybe he could do that again? No Roman, he scolded himself, don't be selfish.   
  
"I'm sorry," Roman started, voice soft so no one but Finn would hear him over the din of the live audience booing as Dolph's music played. He cleared his throat, looked at his feet as he crossed his arms over his chest. "About last week. I didn't mean to blow up like that in front of you. I put you in an awkward position."   
  
A slight tug to Finn's lips, but then it was lost as quick as it had come. He took another sip of the bottle in his hand. Roman looked up in time to watch him nod slowly. Finally, Finn spoke, easing the anxious anticipation in Roman's gut. "You have the right to have a bad night. It happens to us all. But I'd prefer you not get to that point. I want you to be happy healthy and sane, bay-"   
  
But Finn cut himself off and gave a frustrated sigh. He was angry at himself for almost saying babe. He had said it so often to Roman that it was a force of habit. Finn licked his bottom lip, then ran an hand down his bearded jaw.   
  
Roman's stomach dropped at the sound of the word Finn cut off. Like a cold shower. It reminded Roman that he didn't want to break Finn's heart and that the way he was looking at Finn's handsome face was probably not a step in the right direction of avoiding Finn's heartbreak.   
  
Finn tutted at himself under his breath then looked back up at Roman's brown eyes. "What I'm saying is, don't worry about how I'm feeling about last week. Just focus on you, Roman. Take care of yourself."   
  
With that, Finn turned and walked away.   
  
"Thank you," Roman called after him. He raised a hand in a lame attempt to wave the man away despite Finn not even looking at him anymore.   
  
It took Roman a minute to gather his thoughts, still hung up on the muttering of babe Finn let slip. It made Roman so sad. But Finn's other words made Roman give a light smile. Finn had reassured him that Roman was okay. That he just needed to focus on his own health.   
  
Grabbing an apple from the table behind him, Roman made his way to the main monitor area just in time to see Seth win against Dolph Ziggler. And Roman smiled, feeling the blossom of happiness in his heart. He felt so much more himself tonight.   
  
As another women's match played out on the screen, the phone in his pocket buzzed. Half expecting it to be Seth demanding him to meet and talk, he was surprised finding that a number he didn't know had texted him.   
  
_It's Braun. I got your number from a roadie. Look. I know we hate eachother. But we both hate Corbin more. I have an idea that'll get Corbin out of your hair._   
  
Roman was reading it in Braun's voice which would have been comical if Roman wasn't confused and curious. Before he could type a reply, Braun added more.   
  
_I need you to..._   
  
Roman smirked reading the rest of the text. He nodded amused. Yeah He could do this.   
  


* * *

  
The main event of the night was Baron Corbin versus Elias for the tournament. Everyone watching waited for Baron to abuse his power as acting general manager.   
  
It was only a matter of time, no matter how often Corey Graves denied that Baron could commit any such action, it was bound to happen.   
  
And just as Corbin went to grab a mic, feeling that Elias was becoming way too close to a win, Roman's music played.   
  
Corbin dropped the mic onto the mat, confused, looking at the stage with big eyes. Roman came out to a mixed chorus of ruckus boos and high shrill cheers. He was smirking, gripping the strap of the Universal title over his shoulder in his usual way. In his other hand a mic. And he looked entertained as he stood center stage.   
  
Corbin sneered, arms flapping angrily as he watched Roman. "What the hell are you doing?" He yelled, muted by the crowd. Elias, starting to stir from his exhaustion, arm wrapped wearily around his middle, slumped in the corner, also watching Roman with confusion and apprehension.   
  
"Baron," Roman said into the mic, pausing to let the crowd boo more."Don't do it."   
  
"What?" Baron screamed, standing at the ring ropes and watching Roman, forgetting his opponent behind him.   
  
"I know what you have planned. Hell everyone knows. You're gonna spin this match and make it no disqualification so that you can get an easy victory. You're gonna play like a little bitch."   
  
The crowd cheered. Baron yelled back, no one could hear it.   
  
Roman shrugged a shoulder and grinned. "But man, you are not going to win this. Not just because Elias is better then you. But because you have a death warrant on your head, son. You should be afraid. Hell, I'm afraid for you."   
  
As Baron cursed and swore in annoyance, quickly glancing behind him to see Elias still in the corner looking at Roman, the big dog on stage pointed up to the titantron. And the screen switched to a live feed of a hospital room. With Braun Strowman sitting there, face set in anger and rage.   
  
Roman clasped his hands together at his waist and waited as Braun talked. He enjoyed the look of fear all over Baron Corbin's shmuck face.   
  
"Hey Baron!" Braun barked. "I'm going in for surgery. I'll be on the shelf for a while, but when I'm 100% I'm coming for you. And that attack you gave me last week will only look like a paper cut compared to what I do to you." The video cuts out.   
  
Distracted, Corbin doesn't see ELias get up. Elias turns Corbin, slings and arm over his neck and then executes the Drift Away. He covers the acting general manager and the ref counts to 3.   
  
Roman laughs as he walks off stage, allowing Elias to celebrate the win.   
  
And updated bracket appears on the tron. Next week, Drew McIntyre vs Elias and Finn Balor vs Lashely.   
  
Baron slammed his fist into the mat, upset. The show ended.   
  


* * *

  
**December 3, 2018**   
  
During the house shows leading up to Raw that night Roman had been busy. He had some worthless open challenges with guys like Dolph and Corbin. But he always won. He was not letting go of this title.   
  
Roman had also gotten a beer with Seth after the show Friday. Clear the air. He apologized. And Seth just patted him on the back. "I know man. We're all on edge."   
  
_And after soft small talk about their respective dramas, Seth looked Roman square in the eye. "You slept with him didn't you?"  
  
He could try to feign innocence. But Seth knew him all too well. No point in lying. Seth had figured it out. Roman had slept with John weeks ago in Saudi Arabia. Was he that obvious? Was his mood so affected that Seth could just read it on him? "Yeah."   
  
Seth groan and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair, face twisted in disappointment. Then he shook his head and frowned small at his larger friend. "Are you okay? What happened?"   
  
Roman chuckled darkly. "He fucked me-..." He cringed when he saw Seth's face pale at his word choice. "Sorry, we had sex. Really hot sex. But right after. Like not even a minute after he says that it can't happen ever again. And I just- I knew it was going to happen, man. So I grabbed my stuff and I thanked him for the time and left. Nothing else I could really do."   
  
Seth looked at him with pity glistening those pretty doe eyes.   
  
"I'm okay," Roman muttered, gripping the beer in his hands. "I'll be okay. At least I can say I'll never not know what it felt like."   
  
It might have been the fact that that was his second beer and he hadn't eaten in a while, but Roman felt a lump in his throat. He lifted a hand and scrubbed it down his face. Tears pricked at his eyes.   
  
"Oh man," he sighed dramatically. He laughed, a cross of bitter and ashamed of himself. "I wish I could go back to the night after Summerslam. I wish I had never fucking opened my mouth and said a damn thing to John."   
  
Seth didn't say anything at first, just putting his hand on Roman's broad shoulder and rubbing slow thoughtful circles. When Roman took a deep breath and blinked his brown eyes to the ceiling, forcing away tears from behind large glasses reflecting the low warm lights, Seth took his hand away. "Don't wish away the days, man. There must have been some good, right? Hey, I know. Believe me I do. These past few months have been a shit show of emotions and fighting everyone and everything to keep yourself at the top. But there's always good. Keep that in mind, baby."   
  
A flicker of blue eyes shining with light flashed in Roman's mind. And no matter how hard he tried to deny it this time, Roman realized that Finn had been a silver lining to the crap he had endured these last few months. Even though it had ended between them, at least Roman had had some good times with the beautiful Irishman.   
  
Roman cleared his throat and willed the mind searing eyes from his thoughts. He looked at Seth and smiled in thanks. "What about you? What's going on in your love life?"   
  
Seth rolled his eyes at the change of subject. "No love life," he admitted despite himself. "I had that night with Nikki and it was great. But I'm kind of over it."   
  
"Yeah?" Roman asked. His eyebrows arched up high. "You were hung up on her for years."   
  
A small pink tongue flicked to wet Seth's suddenly dry lips. He took a swig of his beer, setting it down slowly. Sighing he shoved his hands in his pockets, fiddling with the hotel room key card. "Don't get me wrong. Nikki was everything I thought she would be and more. But I got my cake and ate it and now I don't want anymore pieces of cake, you feel me?"   
  
Roman snorted, amused. "Yeah. She just isn't the one."   
  
"Exactly."   
  
"So no one else is catching your eye?"   
  
Roman's eyes narrowed as Seth's eyebrows arched then furrowed as the smaller man got lost in his own thoughts. Then Seth looked up with a sheepish smile.   
  
"Okay so you know how Bayley has been rooming with me lately?"   
  
The Samoan man nodded, trying to hide the humor from his eyes.   
  
"I'm thinking of just telling her to room with me all the time. No point her rooming with Sasha and then coming to find me 'cause Sasha kicked her out, right?"   
  
Another nod. Oh Roman was loving this. Roman had been hoping Bayley and Seth would get together since he saw his face light up talking to her in the monitor area weeks ago. ... The night Roman had gone to Finn's apartment in Brooklyn. Roman felt his heart pang. That had been so long ago now. A little over a month. A little over a month Roman hadn't slept tangled in Finn's arms. And it made him a little sad. But he shook away the feelings again. He was always an emotional drunk.   
  
"I mean," Seth continued. "She's the perfect roommate. No offense to you or ..." Seth didn't finish that thought, but it was okay. Roman knew who he meant. Seth took a second to breathe. "She's great. Nice, picks up after herself, doesn't need me to do anything for her."   
  
"Uh-huh," Roman grinned.   
  
Seth looked away, eyes zoning out, a soft smile on his lips. "And She's always been funny. I know I've been her friend for a long time, but I never really noticed how beautiful she is. Charming, too. Like she's got this charisma or something that is totally infectious."   
  
"And she's a great workout buddy," Roman added. He was enjoying seeing Seth so hopelessly infatuated with someone worth his time. Not that Nikki hadn't been. But Roman liked Bayley. She scared him. And that was likeable quality in his book.   
  
"Oh yeah. She's a beast, man. Strong as hell. Physically and mentally."   
  
There was silence for a second, a bubble of quiet in a bar room of noise. Seth looked like he was thinking deeply. Roman just let him think. Seth had always done his best after thinking. He wasn't the architect out of shear luck. His brain was a great thing to have on your side.   
  
Then his eyes grew large and his mouth opened just a little, a sliver of his teeth peeked out. Roman propped his chin on his elbow and gave a delighted smirk.   
  
"Shit," Seth muttered. He looked at Roman, eyes pleading for help.   
  
"Yep," Roman replied. "You like her, bro."   
  
"What am I going to do?" Seth asked, brain suddenly short circuiting. "Oh man."   
  
Roman laughed he patted Seth on the back with a little extra force (hoping to smack the common sense back into him). "Tell her?"   
  
Seth looked insulted for a second. "And risk the friendship? I already lost Cesaro to Smackdown. I cannot lose another workout buddy because I told her I think I really like her."   
  
Roman sighed dramatically. "We are both hopeless aren't we?"   
  
Seth sent him a look. "Yeah. You more than me big guy."_   
  
Then on Saturday Roman had called Renee, something he hadn't done in a while. He never had the chance to talk to her at Raw. This was the only way he'd be able to talk to her, especially knowing that she would be home and Dean would be there at the houseshow. This way he could speak frankly with her.   
  
They talked for an hour. Mostly about how she was doing. Because Renee was important too. Roman always regarded her as a sister. The second Dean laid eyes on her, Renee had become a part of their pack. Roman missed her coming along in car rides and gym trips.   
  
_"I feel like I'm the child of a divorced couple," Renee laughed playfully into the phone. Roman grinned. He had been thinking the same thing.  
  
"Well I got Seth, Dean got you," Roman chuckled, joking. "I'm sorry I couldn't take you with me, but you belong with your daddy."   
  
Renee's roar of laughter made Roman laugh just as loud. He could imagine her face scrunched with tiny tears poking from her eyes, unable to hold them back, so amused.   
  
"Roman," She said taking a faux warning tone. "Don't let that slip, okay? I don't want people to know that."   
  
"Oh?" Roman responded. He and Renee had had many conversations together on the road while Dean slept in the back seat, before Seth came back to them. They had shared many laughs. She was easy to talk to especially on the matters of Roman's sexuality and how Roman was clueless with little girl things for his daughter. Renee always helped. "So You still haven't told anyone that you called Dean daddy in bed once and he freaked out."   
  
"I still can't believe the look on his face that night. He was so weirded out. Told me he wasn't anyone's daddy, that he knew of. We then had the longest discussion about whether or not he could actually have kids somewhere."   
  
Roman shook his head. "How is he Nee?"   
  
She sighed deeply. "He's okay with me. Like normal Dean, funny and goofy. But when he gets to work and he's reminded of the fact that he almost gave his life up for this business, it's like a different person. He hates it so much. But he still loves it. Still loves wrestling so much. He's just so angry."   
  
Roman let that sink in. Then he heard Renee's dogs barking on the other side and Renee moving around.   
  
"I have to let you go," Renee said, some sadness creeping into her voice. "I'll let him know you called if you want."   
  
"Don't bother," Roman muttered. "He doesn't want to hear from me."   
  
"He loves you, Roman. Please remember that. He's just going through alot"_   
  
Then they hung up and Roman went to the arena.   
  
By the time Raw came, Roman felt mentally at peace with the frays of the Shield brothers. And admitting to Seth about John had made Roman feel better.   
  
The show started with the women. Then Corbin and his new lackies Drew and Bobby are in the ring. And they start blabbering on that Drew or Lashley were going to win the chance to go for the Universal title at Royal Rumble. Drew Promised to dismantle Elias that night. After a really crappy video about Baron Corbin's rise to power, the commentary table reminded the watchers that Corbin was set to face Braun at TLC still, despite Braun just having surgery.   
  
The hype for that match continues for another hour until it's time for Drew's match against Elias, which Corbin had deemed an easy win a the beginnings of Drew McIntyre appreciation night. Elias is in the ring first, guitar poised in his lap, ready to insult whoever tried him. But before he could get past his usual schtick, Drew was out.   
  
The match was a solid 10 minutes and poor Elias tried to put up a good fight in the beginning, but once Drew started on him, there was no way he was going to get out of it. When it looked like Elias was mustering up some of his remaining energy to fight back again, Corbin came out, again up to his tricks. The match was now no DQ and Elias was quickly demolished with a chair, slammed into the steal steps, then rolled back into the ring and pinned.   
  
Drew started to celebrate and Roman wonders if it's worth it to go out there. But Dolph beat him to it. They argue back and forth, Dolph talking about how he had brought Drew back to Raw. He had given Drew the chances he got. But Drew scalded him by saying that Drew had made Dolph relevant for the first time in 10 years. That made Roman cringe. He was right. But he didn't have to say it.   
  
Dolph, angry, hit Drew with the Zig Zag then walked off as his music played. They cut to commercial.   
  
The rest of the night was filled with more ridiculous Baron Corbin foolishness. Apparently the fear of Braun Strowman wasn't enough to stop him from being a dick. Roman felt horrible seeing Baron pit Rhyno against Heath Slater to keep their jobs. Roman wondered if he had helped in this war path Baron was forging by his assistance last week.   
  
A few more matches happen before some guys in gas masks are in the ring. Roman has a bad feeling. Dean was out of his mind. This had to be Dean's doing. Had to be. Roman sighed.   
  
Dean comes out to sirens, wearing a gas mask. And Roman feels the calm that came from the conversation with Renee fly out of him. And before he could stress out anymore, Roman decided to just not watch anymore. Seth and Dean can handle their own shit.   
  
Roman was sick of it.   
  
Roman was done with Dean right now. Not like Dean cared anyway. Dean had stopped accepting his calls. Dean had said Roman had made him weak. Dean blamed Roman for his behavior. Then fuck it. Roman didn't need to watch Dean self destruct when he was on the verge of the same.   
  
Maybe Roman should just let himself go and be crazy with Dean. Hey maybe if he could convince Seth they'd all go nuts together and fulfill the wildest dreams of crazy fangirls online.   
  
Even the thought made Roman scowl. He wasn't going back to being the bad guy. Those early days of the Shield were dark. They did some horrible shit. But Roman was paying his dues right now wasn't he? Having all this bullshit turmoil around him. Suffering the heartache like he was.   
  
When Roman was younger he had his struggles. He didn't make it playing football. He had been living out of a car. His girl was pregnant. He was drinking heavily. His girl left him. Life was shit. But he got a chance in wrestling like his dad, his brother, like so many in his family. And in the beginning of his wrestling career he had done whatever he could to make it. He had teamed with Dean and Seth. They had invaded Raw as mercenaries for Punk. They had fucked around with other peoples matches. They had beaten people until they could have died. They fucking slammed Taker into the commentating table with no remorse. They had done the dirty work for the Authority. And it was only after all of that that they -that he- had decided to stop. To find himself. To be himself after years of struggle.   
  
Now he was at the peak of his career. Face of a company. Working every show with his best effort. And because of that he lost precious time with his family. He had forgone any possibility of a romantic relationship.   
  
So now that Roman had tried to finally get a love life, now that he had finally decided to try his hand at anything but one night stands and weird gloryhole blowjobs at skeezy bars he frequented with Dean, Roman was having no luck.   
  
It was karma.   
  
Dean had been right during that promo he cut.   
  
Roman was paying for their sins.   
  
He was paying for his actions. His emotions were payment. His heart crumbling to pieces was currency.   
  
Roman felt panic cloud around him. He stopped, leaned against a wall. He wanted to laugh at himself. God. He felt pathetic. From good feelings to bad in just a few hours.   
  
His heart hammered in his chest, not quite a panic attack. Just a horrible wash of insecurities. Regardless, Roman counted objects in the room, focusing so he didn't let this spiral.   
  
Finally calm, Roman picked himself off the wall, happy no one had been around to see him. Or if there had been someone they had said nothing. And he walked toward the catering area and went to the locker room. He grabbed a water as he passed, but stopped when his eyes caught Finn on TV.   
  
He looked great in those red trunks again. The sight pulled Roman from himself. Like his soul was leaving the wrecked body it called a home. And for a few calm moments he saw Finn go through the motions against Bobby Lashley. He sounded everything out. Just watched Finn like he was magic. Finn glowed in his vision like a little fairy.   
  
Roman snickered at the thought of Finn dressed as tinkerbell.   
  
Roman had known this before, but watching Finn in the ring reminded Roman how wonderful Finn was in the ring. And memories of wrestling Finn that monday after Summerslam flooded his mind. Craving that euphoric memory of wrestling someone who deserved it had Roman coming back to reality and like his soul was pulled back into his body, Roman knew he wanted to go against Finn again.   
  
He wanted Finn to win this match so bad.   
  
And just like Finn had done several many times before these past few months, he had effectively taken Roman's mind away from the bullshit.   
  
When Finn won, fending off attacks from Lio Rush, a relief fell over Roman. Watching Finn celebrate in the ring made Roman smile.   
  
Just when everything looked rosey, Finn was attacked by Baron Corbin, Lashley, and Drew McIntyre. They started to beat on him. But Roman wasn't going to stand for that. With heavy footfalls, Roman ran from the monitor area to Gorilla, ran threw it like he was on fire, out the curtain before the brass could stop him.   
  
He slid into the ring, the crowd cheering him for once. Roman grabbed one of the other guys right away, not really registering who. Then another. Roman fought two while Finn got up and fought the third. Apollo then ran out to help them out and even the odds. The three of them easily pushed out Corbin, McIntyre, and Lashley.   
  
The show cut off the air with them standing at the ropes, calling the other three back in for a fight to continue. A graphic for the finals of the tournament between Finn and Drew in 2 weeks at TLC.   
  
The three faces left the ring together, posing for the crowd at the stage. But by the time Roman got backstage, Finn was gone.   
  
He didn't even get to congratulate him on making it to the finals.   
  


* * *

  
Seth was sitting on the full size bed, a book open in his lap, glasses over his tired eyes. He was still wired from Raw, still trying to forget his drama at work with his former brother Dean. So since he wasn't going to get any sleep soon, he decided to get a little reading done.   
  
He was also waiting for a familiar knock at his door. The knock that would awaken the butterflies in his stomach.   
  
The familiar knock that would remind him as to why he was now in a room with 2 beds instead of one, like when he roomed with the guys. Because Seth wasn't going to be alone. At least he assumed he wasn't. He wished he wasn't.   
  
A warmth filled Seth's belly as he imagined Bayley at his door. He was picturing her smile, book laying in his lap completely forgotten, when a knock came to his door.   
  
Seth held himself back from rushing up. He checked his reflection in the mirror and wondered if he should lose the shirt and hike the shorts down a little. Show off his body. Get Bayley interested.   
  
A tiny bit of dread teased in Seth. What if Bayley wasn't into him? Seth was positive he was top quality, but what if Bayley wasn't interested in him at all? And the idea made Seth frown.   
  
He took the shirt off anyway. Fuck it. He might as well try to get Bayley's attention on him. He was sure, so very sure, after talking to Roman that he had a thing for Bayley and wanted to date her. Not just a lay like he had wanted with Nikki for years. No he wanted to hold Bayley and hang out with her all the time- more so than already.   
  
Another knock pulled him from his thoughts and he rushed to the door, opening it up to Bayley's bright smile.   
  
"Hey," she waved. Her voice was apologetic. "Do you mind if... again?"   
  
Seth smirked. "Yeah come on," Seth stood to the side letting the girl in with her bags.   
  
She put her stuff next to Seth's and took off her jacket and beanie, the chill from outside was still flushing her cheeks. "I'm sorry about this. I feel a little stupid having to come bunk with you all the time."   
  
He waved her off, making a show of how unaffected he was to the situation by sitting on the bed and picking his book back up. "It's okay, really. Sasha wants her privacy and you don't want to go be with the other girls. I get it."   
  
"Thanks," Bayley sighed, grinning joyfully. It brightened up the hotel room, adding a bit of warmth to it's modern cool tones. To Seth, the grey colored walls never felt so inviting and homey.   
  
"You know," he cleared his throat. The butterflies in his stomach felt like dragons now. "You might as well just room with me. Just get your name on my roomate list. This way you can just get a key card. It'll be your room too."   
  
Bayley blushed. She slipped off her jacket. Her grin turned into a smirk. "Oh but Sethie, what will the dirtsheets think?"   
  
Seth smirked in return. "That I'm obviously using a former Women's champion to sleep my way to the top, duh."   
  
Bayley snorted. She looked over her shoulder at him from where she was going through her bags, searching for her sleeping shorts. Oh man, those shorts. "Yeah. I mean I'll probably get a Universal title match before you do."   
  
Seth's mouth hung open. "Wow!" He tossed a pillow at her. "It's true but you don't have to say it."   
  
She scurried into the bathroom a ball of giggles before he could toss another pillow at her. She stuck her tongue out at him as she closed the door.   
  
When she came back out of the bathroom, Seth had put the book away and was laying down ready for sleep. The covers were low around his hips. He didn't catch her eyes raking over his body as he scrolled down his social medias.   
  
Climbing into her own bed, Bayley pouted, having hoped to be in the same bed as Seth again. She liked waking up to him scrambling out of bed to handle his morning wood. Though Bayley wouldn't ever tell anyone that, except Sasha. Everyone always thought Bayley was innocent because of her natural disposition to being kind and happy. But the fact was, as her fellow 4 horsewomen knew from many weeks travelling together, Bayley was a hot blooded woman. She loved and lusted. And she did both of those over Seth.   
  
For a while now.   
  
"Hey," Seth spoke up, putting his phone away on the charger. "You coming with me to Crossfit tomorrow? Sasha can come too if she wants."   
  
Bayley smiled softly. "She's not into crossfit, but I'll come. I was going to two-a-day tomorrow, but I think one really good workout will feel good."   
  
Seth smiled, the happiness of her response in his shiny brown eyes.   
  


* * *

  
Roman had decided to travel to the next stop instead of sleeping. It was only a few hours of a drive so it wasn't too bad. When he got to the hotel, he was a little wired. He had energy to spare after not having a match on Raw again. So he took out his tablet and searched for something to watch.   
  
But a longing in him to see Finn's face won out any other idea he could have had. Finn's voice had calmed him many times when he was going through alot of emotional shit. And after a night of thinking about all of his sins from the early Shield days, Roman needed a soft caressing voice to bring him out of those depressing thoughts.   
  
He missed Finn's company.   
  
Roman couldn't deny it. He missed having someone to talk to. He missed rooming with someone. He missed the warm touches and playful laughter.   
  
So Roman brought up the Network on the tablet and searched Finn's name. He had never watched Finn's WWE 24 special. He felt a little embarrassed about that, but Roman hadn't watched much of the network honestly. He never had the time.   
  
Pressing play, Roman settled in, back slouched against the headboard, propped up pillows cushioning the hard wood. The tablet was placed on his lap against his bent legs. The familiar music of the show warnings broke through the otherwise silent room. And Roman readied himself to watch an hours worth of Finn Balor.   
  
The soft tenor of Finn's voice was calming. The saunter of his hips was mesmerizing. And Roman suddenly remembered how long ago 2017 felt like. In fact, 2017 felt like ages ago even though 2018 was almost coming to a close. But considering all that's happened since April of 2017 when this video began, it's no surprise how long it's felt. Roman had beaten Taker in 2017. He had feuded and fallen in love with John Cena in 2017. Dean had left due to injury in 2017. Matches and matches and matches had passed.   
  
And 2016 felt like 10 years ago. The wellness policy suspension had really messed Roman up on his career path. He had been WWE Champ. Then he lost it to Seth. Who had lost it to Dean. All 3 boys champ in one night. It had been amazing. It had been the first time since Seth had betrayed them for the Authority that they had come together to fight. To hug. And with Dean holding the strap in his hands they had embraced. It had felt so good. To have his two brothers near him again. But again, times have truly changed.   
  
And honestly, having lost the WWE championship and not getting it back when he returned from his suspension had cleared Roman's mind on not fucking up anymore. That year had been horrible for Roman. And despite Roman feeling the pounds of stress on him again, he would never touch adderall again.   
  
Maybe that's why Roman had truly fallen for John Cena. Because he needed stability? Roman had had two hard years in a row after feeling the pressure of becoming WWE's new top star. John had humbled him. John had set him straight and made him realize he needed help. That he wasn't perfect. That his promos were weak. His life was a mess. Roman had needed a man like Cena who was the picture of calm, cool, and collected anytime he was a champion in the WWE. Roman envied it. Roman had wanted it so much.   
  
And that need had formed into love. A love Roman wished so many times lately to vanish. Because he no longer wanted it. He wanted something else. He wanted love. He wanted to be loved. But sadly he still wanted John. As much as it hurt him to think that.   
  
Instead of the video calming Roman it was bringing back old memories, so Roman took a deep breath and concentrated on the soft spoken voice retelling his match against Seth at Summerslam. Retelling how he had won the Universal championship. But then having to give it up due to injury. Having to rehab. Finding himself again in Ireland with family. And his successful return.   
  
Finally, not focusing on his own problems, it made Roman smile watching Finn. The legos and the giraffes. His kind looking parents. And the ever calm but slightly hopeful tone of his voice sent shivers down Roman's spine.   
  
It occurred to him at some point that Roman and Finn had known eachother for a few years now but it was only this year after Summerslam that they really interacted. It made Roman wonder just how long Finn had liked him. Finn had said a while. How long was a while? Was it before he even debuted on Raw? Was it truly years of pining?   
  
Roman watched the show, smiling when Finn said something funny or he smiled, frowning when Finn spoke so sadly. He missed this voice in his ear, moaning in pleasure as they melted together under the covers, bodies connected. He missed the caresses. Roman grinned at the images and videos of younger Finn doing flips and kicks and spots on mattresses. This man was everything Roman thought.   
  
Eventually, Roman fell asleep before the special was over, Finn's voice calming him to slumber. When he awoke tuesday morning Roman's tablet was dead, but he was okay.   
  
Roman was okay.   
  
Stressed and distraught over his life. But at least he had slept well.   
  
Finn was such a good friend he missed talking to him, Roman thought completely oblivious to his own feelings.   
  


* * *

  
Roman was in the hotel room after his workout. He had a few photoshoots to do later that day, but today was a resting day. He was gonna do another workout later, then catch his flight home tomorrow. The company had no houseshows this weekend. But he still had a few phone interviews to do tomorrow morning before his flight home. The interviews were probably going to ask about Brock Lesnar and Dean, but Roman would manage fine having slept well the night before for the first time in weeks.   
  
When he was exiting the shower, drenched hair dripping down his muscled back, he heard his phone ringing.   
  
He was a little surprised to see the name on the screen. It made him bite his lip. Should he pick up? Should he ignore it?   
  
Was it worth it?   
  
After everything?   
  
Roman wanted to be strong.   
  
It had been weeks since they talked.   
  
But in the end the small glimmer of hope and happiness won over the truth and his willpower. And Roman quickly grabbed the phone answering it before it went to voicemail.   
  
"Hey."   
  
Roman closed his eyes and felt his body go limp at the voice. He sat on the corner of the bed behind him and gripped the phone tightly. "Hey, John"   
  
There was a second of silence and Roman's thoughts scrambled trying to figure out what John could be calling for. Was it advice? Was it John asking about Roman's health? Or was Roman's small bit of hope tht John had fallen in love with him true? Was this his dreams coming true.   
  
A tiny flame of unease lit in his core, as if telling him not to do this. An itty bitty part of him told him to hang up. But Love was stronger. Love was stupid and it made people do stupid things.   
  
"You in Florida?" John asked, voice low.   
  
"I fly out tomorrow." Why was Roman answering this? He didn't know what John wanted but bells rang in his head and he had a feeling. And his body was craving it.   
  
He wanted John. His love for John was clouding his better judgement.   
  
John told Roman to meet up once he was in Florida and Roman agreed, not even thinking about what he should be doing tomorrow. Not thinking about going home. Not thinking about visiting his mom and dad. Or spending time with his daughter. He only thought about john.   
  
And when Roman sat on the plane, he wondered, mind racing, was this love? Or was he obessed? Roman didn't know anymore. He wasn't sure what to feel.   
  
Only now did Roman really feel like a mess. He felt like a mess before. But now that he was sitting first class, stretched out and on his way to meet John Cena did he truly wonder what the fuck was he doing.   
  
But the thoughts didn't stop him from telling the taxi service to drop him off at John's house instead of his own.   
  
Why did this feel like cheating?   
  
Why did Roman suddenly feel like he was lying to someone?   
  
Like he was sneaking around his family's back and doing something he wasn't supposed to?   
  
Was it because that was exactly what he was doing.   
  
Seth was going to be so disappointed in him. Roman's hands clenched and fidgetted, sweaty and shaking. To stop that he forced his hands apart, only to have one hand play with the release clasp on his rolex. God, he was being stupid. He wanted to turn back around now. But the thought of being in John's arms made him eager. He wanted to be in John's house. He wanted John to fuck him and tell him over and over again how amazing he was.   
  
But all the same. Roman wanted peace. And that was a peace he knew he wasn't going to find with John Cena.   
  
The taxi stopped at the gates and Roman buzzed the bell, waiting for John to let him in. It felt like forever, time standing still as the driver patiently waited for the gates to swing open. Roman could feel the rush of air fill his lungs when they did finally creak apart, the car inching forward down the long path until it came to the front of the huge house.   
  
Roman gulped. He was nervous. Not panicked. But nervous. A different feeling then when he was at work and worrying about his brothers and his love life. No this was an impatient nervousness. One of compulsion and need. Roman could taste his emotions in the air in that cool Tampa afternoon. Roman needed to be with John in this very moment but he knew without a doubt it was a mistake.   
  
Roman was going to do this and love every second of it until he was filled with paralyzing doubt and disappointment.   
  
Nevertheless he paid the cab driver and walked up to the front door, bags trailing behind him in his sweaty white knuckled fists.   
  
The door opened to a casually dressed John Cena. The older man moved out of the way and let Roman in. But before the door could even be locked fully, John had Roman shoved into the wall, rattling the simple decor. Their lips were attached and Roman lost any ill feeling.   
  
John's lips on his made him numb to the horrible decision he had just entered.   
  
Because his heart was pounding. His eyes dilated under his wire rimmed glasses. His body arched into John's arms, already feeling John's hard cock pressed against his hip.   
  
Fuck. Roman was in to deep.   
  
Roman was falling. He was drowning in an ocean that would surely suffocate him. And for a split second he wondered if he would ever be saved from this never ending hole he was digging himself. Or was he doomed to love a man like John Cena the rest of his life?   
  
Roman wanted to cry as the guilt mixed with pleasure.   
  
They had moved to the bedroom and stripped off eachother's clothes at some point. Lube and condoms were thrown around Roman's body before John pressed into him. Both muscular forms slid against eachother with moans of raw carnal delirium.   
  
The cream colored room filled with gasps and choked moans. Roman almost looked out of place in the area, surrounded by light colored fabrics and eggshell walls. The only pops of color were a few black and white photos and warm wood tones. And then there was Roman, dark tribal tattoo gleaming in the warm light. His dark hair, browns and blacks, sprayed over the bedspread, starting to grow damp with sweat at his neck.   
  
John rammed into him over and over again, hard. Almost angry. Like he was trying to knock the sense into Roman. Like he was mad at this entire situation happening. And maybe Roman felt the same way as he clenched his hole tight and dug his heels into the curve of John's lower back.   
  
John's strong rough hands grabbed him, digging in deep. It stung, but it anchored Roman to the room. It all felt amazing. He couldn't think. John was fucking the nervousness out of him. He was fucking the literal thoughts out of him. Roman could almost see his thoughts floating out of him and into the air with his on coming orgasm.   
  
A long low deep groan rushed out of Roman as cum dripped down his girth and onto his pelvis. He was gasping for air still when John's hips stuttered and his cock pulsed in Roman.   
  
They slumped together, trying to come off their mutual orgasmic high. Then John pulled out and like a tub stopper, the waters came flooding in and Roman remembered all the anxious worry that had been in him until he had reached John's door.   
  
He rolled out from under John and without much prompting he grabbed his boxer briefs, pulling them on, back to John.   
  
"I thought you said this shouldn't happen again," Roman asked, voice rough and croaking. It was then that Roman realized they hadn't said a word to eachother yet.   
  
John was silent. He couldn't say anything. What was he to say? That He had meant what he had said the night of Crown Jewel, but that his sexual desires had taken over. Was John going to admit that he needed his bed warmed because he missed having someone to share it with? John still loved the woman of his dreams. You don't forget that kind of love after 6 years. But he had no one else to turn to. He wanted to feel loved.   
  
And Roman loved him. John could feel it.   
  
But for how long?   
  
How long would Roman love him if he kept treating the Samoan man like this? Like just a fuck.   
  
Roman dropped his head to his hands, scrubbing hard, trying to make the weary feeling disappear. "I gotta go."   
  
John watched Roman as he walked out the room. He listened to Roman's footsteps rush down the steps, picking up articles of clothing all the way down to the front door. Then the door slammed shut.   
  
John could tell that there was a difference in Roman from their night together weeks ago. This Roman looked sad. Even sadder then when John had told him that he would never love Roman.   
  
Even though, Roman had clearly started to change, his feelings were altering, John's feelings were unchanged. He would never love Roman, but Roman was hardly out of his system yet.   
  
John stood and walked over to the window, watching as Roman started walking to the gate, texting on his phone, probably calling an uber or something. He sighed and turned away.   
  
Both men knew this was unhealthy to continue but if- _when_ John called again, Roman would be there. No matter how much guilt and pain gnawed at his heart. Because he still loved a straight man.   
  


* * *

  
Finn pushed through the last of his sets. The weights felt ridiculously heavy where they were cradled on his shoulders, hands holding on tightly. He squatted a few more times, making sure to keep perfect form before he stepped forward and stacked the bar back on the rack. The lining of the hoodie he wore was sticking to his sweat slicked body, but it didn't bother him that much. He was accustomed to the feel by now.   
  
It was Wednesday morning, but he didn't go home to his apartment in Brooklyn. It was empty anyway. Instead he had decided to go down to Orlando and have some time at the performance center with the trainers. Maybe spend some time talking to Albert. He needed someone to just distract him from the sadness in his head.   
  
He was pleasantly surprised when he saw Luke Gallows there, without their best friend Karl Anderson. Karl was too busy spending time with his 4 sons. Not that Finn would blame him. He missed his broski, but he didn't fret too long. Instead, Finn and Luke called Karl up, having a playful conversation. Karl knew everything that was happening, and by extension, so did Luke.   
  
Finn had told his best friend everything. He needed too. Karl wouldn't leave him alone if he didn't.   
  
As the conversation turned to that topic, they refrained from using names just in case any nosey people were around to listen as they lounged outside.   
  
"Look, babe, you're gonna win at TLC and face him at the Rumble. I know it. You know it. That's the guy that you are. You finally have this chance again and you're not going to let it go, right?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"But I'm just worried how you're going to handle being around him again, brother," Karl continued. "Are you gonna be okay working with him in the ring with your head all fogged up with memories of your sweet sweet love making?"   
  
Finn chuckled despite himself. "Well if I'm springing a boner in the ring you know why."   
  
Luke snickered. "Brother, you don't need to go against him for that. You're sporting wood to the ring cause you get off on the adrenaline."   
  
Finn shrugged, lips curled with amusement. "Probably. Either way, I'll be fine. My career always takes the driver's seat, you know that."   
  
"Yeah, I know," Karl sighed. "I just want you happy, man. I gotta go, taking the boys and the wife out for dinner. Text me later, brothers."   
  
Finn put the phone down on his side and looked up at the bright clear blue December Florida sky. The color was gentle as was the soft wind whispering against his warm skin. The sweat from working out and training earlier was cooled and made him feel stiff. But small little memories of Roman made him feel both hot and cold. The image of soft brown eyes and pouty lips grinning like a goof at him, it made Finn's heart swell and ache.   
  
Heartbreak sucked.   
  
"Are you really gonna be okay?" Luke asked with a sigh. "If you face him at the Rumble, it doesn't matter how much you put in your head that your career comes first, your feelings are going to mess with your head man."   
  
Finn couldn't help humming in agreement. He knew Luke was right. Finn could try to hold his emotions in check but the thought of taking something from Roman like the Universal championship (a title Roman had worked for years to achieve and maintain) was a little bittersweet.   
  
Surely, Roman would hate him if Finn won?   
  
Maybe it's what Finn deserved for using the large Samoan for some complicated fantasy fulfillment?   
  
Finn's lips pressed together as he thought. Those ocean water blue eyes dropped to his lap and his hangs gripped the edge of the bench they were sitting on. "I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens."   
  
Luke placed a hand on Finn's head and ruffled the hair brotherly before standing up. "Well then, let's get you TLC ready."   
  
Both men moved back inside the performance center and took over an empty ring. As they worked over some basic moves that Finn could use against the much larger Drew McIntyre and then on Roman, Finn's mind blanked out.   
  
He focused on his form, on the feel of his muscles aching and his lungs burning for air. Euphoric adrenaline made Finn forget for just a little while. Made him forget that attached to his pinky was a frayed broken red string. He forgot that he was barely sleeping since the night in Brooklyn. He forgot that he hadn't returned to his apartment since he came home from the Evolution ppv and couldn't stop crying over Roman.   
  
The back and forth in the ring let Finn ignore the fact that he could barely eat because his stomach was always burdened by the loneliness that clutched its claws in. He hadn't eaten proper meals in weeks, too consumed in his own sorrow.   
  
Truth was, that Finn for the last few weeks had worried so much about Roman's well being that he barely put any attention to his own health.   
  
Finn worried that Roman would wither away with all the stress he was under. But Finn was actually wasting away. Maybe not physically, his body was perfected and would take months to start showing the damaging effects of Finn's sadness. But mentally, Finn was exhausted.   
  
And the only person he was sure that could lift this horrible feeling off of him was the man who didn't want him.   
  
Finn then remembered the words his father said to him when he was in Ireland last month. Finn needed to fight for Roman.   
  
He needed to show Roman that the champion didn't need John Cena. That Finn was the perfect man for him. He needed to convince Roman to give him a chance.   
  
And it was then, as Finn had his arm clutched around Luke's neck in a modified sleeperhold, that Finn told himself, that he was going to make Roman fall in love with him. He was going to get Roman to turn to him again like he did those months ago. With small touches and sly smirks. With soft voices and phone sex.   
  
Okay maybe not the phone sex... right away.   
  
But Finn was going to seduce Roman. It was kind of shitty of Finn to decide on doing this- to force himself at Roman. But somewhere deep in Finn the red string pulsed with life, twitched with a soft dying glow. Finn was sure he was destined to be with Roman. Roman just had to be told.   
  
When Finn laid out across the ring mat, breathing heavy, chest rising and falling deeply, he suddenly was very hungry.   
  


* * *

  
**Roman is a confusing ball of "Not sure wtf I'm doing, but here I am"  
Seth is a lost love sick puppy  
Bayley is sneaky  
Finn is fighting his own self destruction  
Who the fuck knows about Dean  
And honestly, everyone is horny, in love, or angry. Bonus points to those who are all three.  
  
Love ya. Update soon hopefully.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a time to be alive in the Shield Fandom. Roman is back. Dean is still possibly leaving. Seth is going to die for our sins at Wrestlemania. I'm a ball of fucking emotions after Fastlane. I just need a warm blanket and a hug after that match. Chapter is a little short but its a goodie.

"Oh fuck. Oh Fuck!"   
  
Roman was bent over the arm of the couch, completely unable to control his voice despite the fact that his hotel room neighbors would hear him.   
  
A large calloused hand slapped over his mouth, muffling his mantra of "fuck yeah" and "harder."   
  
It was Friday morning. Roman had a house show to be at that night. But at the moment, he found no matter more pressing in his mind then the cock in his ass tapping into his prostate in a way that was making his own girth bob and twitch.   
  
His heart fluttered as he felt the hand on the small of his back pressed and rub up the line of his spine just as the length in him pulled out. There was a growl in his ear as he was pulled to stand straight, shuffled around the couch, and then pushed down. His face pressed into the couch seat cushion, moaning into the leather as he felt John straddle over his ass and pushed his hard veiny cock in, past the plump cheeks, until it bottomed out in the hot tight hole. Roman gasped. John was riding him like he was a fucking horse in a race and Roman was losing his mind over it.   
  
It was so intense.   
  
John wrapped Roman's necklace in his fist and tugged up, making Roman's neck arch back.   
  
The guilt Roman felt being with John since they're time in Saudi Arabia a month ago was a constant while they fucked like ravenous animals. But it had mixed itself with lust so well that Roman barely felt like he was doing something he shouldn't anymore.   
  
And the love he had for John was so clouded up in his lust for a cock in his ass that Roman couldn't register that his heart beat wasn't fast and pounding because of the rough lips littering his back with kisses. No his heart beat like crazy because this was the only way he could forget his problems. Roman was fucking his problems away by fucking his major problem.   
  
But in all honesty, John wasn't a problem anymore. Roman's guilt was the problem. Roman's stress was the problem. And letting go, cumming hard, got him away from that.   
  
Roman could only hope that John could fuck his problems out of him entirely.   
  
John let go of his chain and swiped the loose strand of dark curls out of the younger man's face. Long dark hair that reminded John of another beauty he once held in his arms for years.   
  
He closed his eyes briefly at fond memories of his ex. He imagined his curvy body under him as he forced Roman to the edge of orgasm.   
  
When Roman's cum dripped onto the couch and his fist, John's blue eyes were zone out and staring at a wall. He continued to fuck Roman hard, enjoying the moans and groans and throaty whines until his cum filled the condom.   
  
And like the other two times they slumped together until John moved away. It was almost habit that John turned his back to Roman or vise versa. Because neither man could look at eachother.   
  
Roman could feel the lump in his throat form again. He wasn't sure this was love anymore. He didn't feel happy. This was angst and sex. But Roman wasn't sure he wanted to end whatever this was.   
  
Because there was no one else he could be with like this. Just sin riddled fucking. He wanted beyond all else to have John love him. But it wasn't going to happen, Roman knew. So he settled for the next best thing. Delusional security in the arms of a straight man.   
  
And yet, even with the turmoil rushing around in Roman's heart, he couldn't help but melt when John's hand reached back over to him and rubbed gentle circles on his thick thigh. Roman didn't want to love this man anymore. And maybe one day he won't. But for today, John's lips trailing up from his shoulder to his neck made him weak.   
  
"I have to go," John admitted, words softly brushing against Roman's skin. So close. Roman couldn't help the smile at John's tone. The older man almost sounded sorry that he had to leave. "I have a flight to catch."   
  
A grunt from Roman let John know he heard him. Blue eyes lingered on the sweat slicked broad back for a second too long perhaps, before he stood and dressed silently. Roman watched from where he still lay face down on the couch, limbs splayed out over the sides. Lube was drying uncomfortably but Roman didn't want to move. His body was sated from sex and his mind was too chaotic to control right now. Post-coital bliss was no longer affecting his mind apparently.   
  
John fixed the hoodie and sunglasses on his head, making sure he was covered up enough that no one would see it was him. Well, he was pretty easy to spot, but no harm in trying to be discreet. While he wrapped a scarf around his neck and face he spared one last glance at Roman, their eyes locking.   
  
He wasn't sure why he was doing what he was doing anymore. John was convinced that Roman had put some spell on him at this point. So John didn't even try to stop himself from stepping back over to the other man, shifting the scarf out of the way, and kissing Roman's lips tenderly.   
  
Then he left. And Roman was in shambles again, unable to understand why God would let him love a man who kept calling him for random bouts of sex. Roman still loved every second of it though. He loved feeling John around him, in him, against him.   
  
But as John walked out through an employee exit, stepping into the chilly night air and finding his car parked in the lot behind the hotel, he felt himself fill with culpability. He couldn't fucking believe that he had found out what town Roman was in, flew out there, and slept with Roman, only to catch another flight back to where he was supposed to be.   
  
Soon he'll be traveling with WWE again and John feared this obsession with having sex with Roman would only get worse. Being honest with himself, John knew that he didn't really care about Roman in any way more than a coworker and friend. His sexual appetite was clouding that, though. He was sick with lust. And he knew that Roman knew that was what was going on. That's why Roman gladly opened his legs, but refrained from talking about it.   
  
They both didn't talk about it. They both just agreed to a place, fucked, and went their separate ways.   
  
If John didn't find a girlfriend soon he was going to hurt Roman beyond repair. John was going to ruin Roman with this unhealthy relationship and it killed John. But it didn't stop him.   
  
Because love was stupid. Lust was stupider.   
  


* * *

  
It happened again later on that week.   
  
It felt so good and yet so bad.   
  
Roman felt so confused. One minute he was trying to distance himself from John and find his way through life, and the next he was sucking that hard cock like he had cure to his problems. Why was he doing this to himself? Why was Roman meeting with John again despite the fact that he knew it would go nowhere? And why did John continue to call him for sex after saying it was a mistake?   
  
Maybe John was just as confused as Roman.   
  
But like all the other times, the sex pushed Roman's guilt and sadness out of his head for a little while. Until they were done and a sweaty pile of muscles, then Roman's brain kicked into overdrive and he remembered just how stupid this was. Just how destructive he was being.   
  
This time, as John's hot hands ran down his warm skin, Roman shivered. They felt like ice to him. The hands cooled him down from the candle fire flickering in him from his lust.   
  
And he recalled the worried ocean water eyes of a certain Irishman. The ones that were soft enough to match the hushed tenor telling him to take care of himself.   
  
_"I love you, so I can't allow you to burn out like this. So please, talk to me. Let me listen. Nothing more. Just a shoulder to cry on."_   
  
Finn's words rattled in his brain.   
  
Roman wished he could.   
  
God, he wished he could stop doing this to himself. Stop going after John's embrace. Stop allowing himself to stoop this low for the loving looks John gave him while they fucked -because they weren't real love, at least not the love he actually wanted. Roman wanted so badly to fix himself. And maybe talking to Finn would help. It had helped before so many times.   
  
But Roman felt the heaviness in his stomach at the thought of telling Finn everything. He couldn't stand the thought of seeing Finn's eyes become distressed as he told his depressing tale.   
  
Finn didn't deserve to hear about Roman's pitiful and loathing account with John Cena.   
  
And perhaps, when Roman really thought about it, he didn't deserve Finn.   
  
...   
  
No.   
  
Stop that.   
  
Roman Reigns, stop treating yourself like this. You are strong. You are a great person. And no matter your baggage, there will be someone there for you.   
  
John pulled out and rolled off to the side.   
  
It was then that Roman realized he hadn't cum yet. In fact he wasn't even hard for most of the act. He felt unsatisfied.   
  
Foolish and dumb and disappointed with himself.   
  
"What are we doing John?"   
  
John had no answer. He wasn't even sure himself.   
  
The room became tense and thick with unanswerable feelings. So Roman sat up and grabbed his shorts, putting them on in silence.   
  
John sat there, watching him, wishing he had never gone this far. But it was too late to take it back.   
  
"You should go."   
  
Quickly, John dressed, covering his identity as best he could then left the motel room.   
  
No more, Roman promised himself, sniffling back the tears that threatened his very will power.   
  
No more John. No more contemptible sex. No more selling yourself out to a man who can never want you for more than a night of passion and pleasure.   
  
Roman deserved more.   
  
And he was going to start acting like it.   
  
He would try, at least.   
  


* * *

  
**December 8, 2018**   
  
They hadn't had any house shows in that rotation which was much appreciated.   
  
And Roman had spent his time off productively. He saw his family. He ate good food. He worked out with Seth. He decided he was never going to work out with Seth again that fucking maniac and his death by crossfit. He even sat down with a cup of coffee and watched the December clouds roll by, taking some time for his thoughts.   
  
John had texted him again, but he had ignored it. Mostly, because he was with his daughter that day and there was a wash of self-loathing that came over him at the thought of giving up time with his baby girl to go get fucked like a cheap hooker. It made him queasy.   
  
So now here he was Saturday morning. She was watching cartoons and eating a big bowl of cereal while sitting on the carpet, completely oblivious to the shit her daddy was going through, and Roman wouldn't have it any other way. The coffee warmed his hands nicely, spreading from his fingertips up his hands. While listening to his daughters fits of giggles, Roman let his thoughts wonder.   
  
He had promised himself after Saudi Arabia that he would stop acting so stupidly and go back to being the Roman Reigns he had built himself to be. But somewhere along the line John Cena had taken him and wrapped a rough large hand around his neck like a collar on a dog. And Roman didn't pull or tug or try to get out because John gave him treats and pets. But it didn't matter how nice John was being to him, Roman was still just a dog sitting at the foot of his bed.   
  
Months ago Roman had had a dry spell. Hadn't had sex in a number of months. Then came Finn. Then came John. And he came alot since then.   
  
But somehow Roman had been happier before having sex at least twice a week and his mind fucked with at least 6 out of 7 days. The sex was great relief. It truly was. Roman loved a good fuck. But right now, he kind of just wanted love.   
  
Which was what he wanted from John in the first place, in Brooklyn when he confessed in August.   
  
It was also what he could have gotten from Finn before he cut it off in Brooklyn in October.   
  
Maybe Brooklyn was a curse for him?   
  
Regardless. He missed love.   
  
He missed playful touches and teases. He missed going to bed in someone's arms. He missed waking up and finding quiet little snores in his ear and the warmth of someone you care about holding you close. He missed confiding in someone. He missed the intimacy, both sexually and not. Roman missed love. Roman missed being loved.   
  
God. He was so foolish.   
  
He could have had that with Finn.   
  
Roman could have had someone loving him every night if he had just stayed with Finn.   
  
But that was so wrong. For Roman to disregard the fact that he didn't love this man and stay with him, make this man love him and not return the sentiment. That was just fucked up.   
  
It was what John was doing to him. And Roman refused to be that guy and torture Finn in that way.   
  
If only he had loved Finn instead.   
  
Those heated stares and those pouty red lips would be his and only his. Just the thought blossomed something primal and protective in Roman's chest. It was like he wanted it so badly. He wanted to look at Finn and know that wonderful man -that caring, humanitarian, goofball with a lovely smile and gentle voice- was his.   
  
But could he? Could Finn be his if Roman didn't care about him?   
  
Roman was always the type to only date someone after already liking them romantically. He didn't like the type of relationships where everything was too new. So for him, he needed to already have deep feelings for the person he called his partner. So could he really be with Finn if he didn't love him?   
  
He was pulled out of his thoughts (rambling albeit clearer than anything else recently) by the sound of the TV show his daughter was now watching intently introducing someone as their girlfriend. His daughter shifted her shining eyes from the tv to her father. Then back to the tv. And finally back on Roman again.   
  
"What's up, sweetpea?" Roman wondered, seeing the questioning look on his daughter's small face. He took a long sip of his coffee, room temperature now after being forgotten about.   
  
"Daddy why don't you have a girlfriend? Mommy's got a boyfriend?"   
  
The thought of toned arms wrapping around him securely and a broad smirk pressed into his back came to mind, but he shook it away.   
  
He took a deep breath and thought for a second. He and his ex had talked a few times about when the perfect time would be to talk to their little girl about Roman being bisexual. But now seemed like a great time. Better then just showing up with a man to a family party or something and introducing him as her new daddy (or his new daddy. Whatever works, Roman snorted).   
  
"Would it bother you if daddy had a boyfriend instead?" Roman asked, carefully watching his daughter's reaction.   
  
"... Is he pretty?" Her eyes were big and she had fully turned to look at him. He had her full attention on this late Saturday morning.   
  
Roman couldn't help but chuckle at the awe on her face."I don't have one right now. I just wanted to know if it was okay with you if I had a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend."   
  
She shrugged her tiny shoulders. Her lips pursed in similar fashion to her mother, thinking for a second. It made Roman nervous. Please don't let his little girl think he's weird.   
  
"My friend Elliot has 2 daddies. And I think that's really cool. He told me he can step on as many cracks as he wants and he never breaks his mommy's back. But I can't do that because I love mommy." She was rambling, but it didn't matter. Because Roman was grinning happily at her words. "But- but if mommy marries her boyfriend and you marry your boyfriend, I'll have 3 daddies and a mommy and some kids only have one daddy. So I'll be really lucky! It'll be so much fun! Daddy who's your boyfriend? Is he nice? Does he play fortnite?"   
  
Roman felt a huge amount of joy take him over. The most joy he's felt in a while. "I don't have one, baby girl," he chuckled. He set his mug on the end table and opened his arms for his daughter, craving her love after opening himself up like that. "But thank you for being so sweet and understanding. My smart baby girl can always make me happy. I love you, so much, to the moon and back."   
  
These days off...   
  
Yeah these days off cleared his head. It was what he needed.   
  
No more John.   
  
Roman deserved better.   
  
Roman deserved love.   
  
Plus his baby obviously was down for him finding love and getting married so she could have another dad. And that thought warmed his heart so much. John didn't want kids. Roman had to remember that. He had known that for a long time but pushed the thought. But right now he understood better then ever, that Roman wasn't just finding love for himself. He was finding love for his family. And John wasn't it.   
  


* * *

  
**December 10, 2018**   
  
Monday Night Raw was there before Roman knew it. And the episode started with Seth cheering 'burn it down' with the San Diggo crowd. He said that would be his battle cry when he beat Dean at TLC Sunday. Then Seth called Baron Corbin out and completely devastated him by complaining about how Baron has been running the show like shit lately. And as much as Roman agreed, he spaced out a little. In the end Seth challenged Baron to a match, which was dumb this close to TLC. But Seth could handle it, Roman was sure.   
  
Instead of watching the show from the main monitor area, he watched a certain Irish man. A certain Irish man that would be coming for his title very soon.   
  
But, Roman didn't care about that at the moment. Roman just couldn't stop his thoughts from swirling around about how lovely Finn looked in red trunks. In fact, not that Roman noticed or anything- he definitely did- but Finn was wearing red alot lately. He was such a vision in red. It sent Roman back to those nights together, to the clandestine moments in the supply closets and dark hallways, to the text messages.   
  
God.   
  
Roman missed the intimacy.   
  
Despite the fact that Roman had had sex with his year long obsession John Cena three times in the last week alone, he was missing something.   
  
And watching Finn laugh with Bayley and Sasha, Roman was sure he knew what that was. But it was something he had pushed away foolishly. And it was something he wasn't sure he could return.   
  
Truly, though, Roman's mind was much clearer after the weekend with his daughter. She was so smart for her young age. So happy. So really really into having the idea of having a bunch of dads that could take her to Disney and play video games with. She wouldn't stop talking about it for hours.   
  
"God you're hopeless."   
  
Roman jumped, completely oblivious to the fact that Seth was beside him. He sent the other man a quick glare from the corner of his eyes. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your title match with Corbin?"   
  
"Don't ignore what I said, jerk," Seth commented.   
  
Roman continued to ignore him.   
  
Seth sighed. "Fine. How was your weekend?"   
  
"Came out to my daughter."   
  
Seth's pretty brown eyes went wide. "What? For real? What happened?"   
  
A soft smile crossed his face. He tore his eyes away from the smiling Irishman (who was giggling in that really cute way with Bayley about something probably really sweet and innocent despite the fact that they cannot fool Roman. He knew better.) and looked over at his best friend. "She asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend and I had asked her if she was okay if I had a boyfriend instead. She was totally cool with it. But I think that's because she thinks if she has more than one daddy she'll get more birthday gifts."   
  
Chuckling, Seth leaned back in the steel folding chair. "She's not wrong."   
  
"She's not."   
  
"Big problem though, uce," Seth sighed. His lips pressed together and he gave Roman the biggest _you know what I'm about to say_ look ever. "You don't have a boyfriend."   
  
Roman rolled his eyes. "Yeah well, it was a hypothetical."   
  
"Okay," Seth smirked deviously. "But like, if you had to pick someone to be your boyfriend based solely on who you're daughter would like to be her new stepdad, who would it be?"   
  
Roman scoffed. He knew what Seth was trying to do. Trying to psychoanalyze him. Well 2 can play that game. Seth wanted to ask the hard questions, fine. He dropped his voice to a low whisper and grinned at the man beside him. "You are someone to talk. Have you asked Bayley on a date yet?"   
  
Seth's face flushed. "I haven't found the right time to ask. You can't even get a relationship because you're still strung up. Have you stopped sleeping with John?"   
  
Roman glared. "No."   
  
Seth groaned. "Fuck, man. I knew it."   
  
Roman's eyes were guilty as he looked at his feet. "Sorry."   
  
"What the fuck you apologizing to me for, Ro?" Seth muttered. He patted Roman on the shoulder and studied the Samoan man's face as he spoke. "I don't like that you're doing this to yourself, but it has nothing to do with me. You shouldn't be apologizing. You should be figuring out that you don't need him. He's not for you."   
  
"I know."   
  
"So, stop going back."   
  
"I'm trying."   
  
Doe shaped eyes lowered, hints of sadness floating around their dark brown hues. He could tell Roman meant what he said. That he was trying to move on from his love for John Cena.   
  
But love was blind. Love was stupid. Love never wanted to die.   
  


* * *

  
Finn could feel Roman's eyes on him for most of the show and it was only when Seth had sat down with the bigger man did those sweet brown eyes turn from him to the floor. By the looks on both Shield member's faces, they were discussing something serious and sad. If Finn were to put his money on a specific topic, it would be on Dean or on Roman's mental state.   
  
Of course he could be wrong. Because Seth looked disappointed and Roman looked like a child caught stealing a candy he didn't like.   
  
Maybe it had to do with John Cena. Finn didn't know what was going on there. Last he had heard about it was from Roman before they split in Brooklyn. But since then, John had been around.   
  
Finn wasn't stupid to think nothing happened with Roman and John.   
  
Roman wouldn't give up the chance to be with John if the option presented itself.   
  
So then why was Roman so sad?   
  
Did John break his heart again? Did John hurt him?   
  
The thoughts made Finn angry as hell. If he ever got in the ring with the bastard, he might just close fist his face. Coup De Grace his nuts.   
  
Finn had to do something to cheer Roman up. He hated seeing that beaten down look on that gorgeous face.   
  
So Finn decided now was the best time to start with the plan. _Operation Flirt With Universal Champion Roman Reigns Until Roman Wakes The Fuck Up And Realizes He Should Date Finn Because Finn Is Perfect For Him And Loves Him._ ...That was a long code name. Finn should shorten that. Hm. How about Operation Love Me.   
  
He looked at his two favorite female members of the roster and grinned wide. "Hey, want to go for a walk?"   
  
The girls exchanged a look and nodded. Bayley's match against Alicia Fox was soon, might as well start heading over to Gorilla now.   
  
As they started walking Finn looked over at Bayley and dropped his voice to the softest of devilish whispers. It made Bayley and Sasha listen closely with curiosity alone. "On my cue I need one of you to drop your phone for me to pick up."   
  
Sasha had this confused smirk on her face. "Why?"   
  
But Finn wouldn't answer. Instead, they walked around to the back of the monitor area where they could easily escape to the hallways that split up and led to every which way. He swiftly hiked his trunks up just a bit, letting a slip more of his cheeks hang out. They were rounding Seth and Roman's seats when Finn gave Bayley the nod.   
  
She dropped her phone as inconspicuous as possible, hoping that it wouldn't crack her screen. She grimaced and let out a small "dang it," for good measure. Got to make it look good for whatever Finn is trying to do.   
  
That's when Finn crouched down to pick up the discarded phone. But instead of just quickly swooping down and grabbing it as simply as possible, Finn placed his hand on the knee of the man beside the dropped phone.   
  
Who just so happened to be Roman.   
  
Sasha had to look away at the wall, looking at it like there was something interesting about dirty cement walls, just so she wouldn't be seen holding back laughter.   
  
Finn flexed his hand on the tactical pant covered leg as he slowly lifted himself up, arching his back just enough that it would go unnoticed by anyone catching the scene at the moment.   
  
But Roman noticed it.   
  
Finn could tell he noticed it, because he could feel Roman tense. He could feel Roman's eyes on the curve of his lower back. And as he stood straight and took his hand away, he could feel that gaze roll down his back to his red trunk covered ass.   
  
Step 1- get his attention. Check.   
  
Finn looked at the man as he handed the phone out to Bayley.   
  
Roman looked up at him. Smirking, Finn's eyes glinted in those overly bright arena lights. "Sorry."   
  
Then he walked away, a little added saunter to his walk. The edge of asscheeks felt the breeze of the arena as he walked away, but Finn didn't feel the need to fix his trunks. Because heat covered him.   
  
He missed flirting with Roman. It thrilled him. It gave him this sexy feeling. Like he could dance around to slow sensual songs about sex. Too bad Finn couldn't dance because he might have tried that at some point.   
  
When they were far enough, Bayley and Sasha set their amused grins on Finn.   
  
"What was that?" Bayley asked, snickering. "Is that how you get in your future opponent's head?"   
  
Finn shrugged, cheeky smile on his face. "Nope. That was how I'm going to get him to fall in love with me. You know, like what you're doing with Seth."   
  
Bayley's face went deep red. "How did you-?"   
  
At that moment, Sasha picked that the be the right time to quickly jog away. Bayley huffed. "Sasha Banks you bitch, get back here."   
  
The hugger ran after her friend who only ran faster. They zipped in and out of the way of the people working in the hallways. Finn watched laughing, shaking his head.   
  


* * *

  
Seth looked at him, expectantly.   
  
Roman just shrugged. He had no clue honestly. He had no idea what that was all about.   
  
He wasn't complaining, though. The tantalizing bit of creamy perfect ass was always welcome. He wasn't sure why his eyes received such a gift. But he wouldn't complain.   
  
The night went on without anymore weird heart racing, dick fattening instances. Until of course, Roman had to go out to the ring and interrupt Drew McIntyre's bullshit. Because geez that guy really didn't have to talk shit for a solid 5 minutes and not expect someone to come out and tell him to shut the hell up.   
  
But Finn had beat him to the techie and told the man to cue him up.   
  
But before Finn went through the curtain, Roman felt those soft cool fingers skim against his hand as he walked past. It sent chills up and down his arm. Damn he missed those fingers. He shook the memories of this fingers threaded through his hair. Shook away the memories of those fingers spread out against his abs as Finn's head nestled between Roman's-   
  
On the small screen Roman watched Finn come out, all smiles and sunshine. Then he laid it into Drew about how Drew was too busy being Baron Corbin's backup bodyguard to really think he could win Finn on Sunday.   
  
They bickered back and forth for a minute. Road Dogg looked over at him and arched his brows as if to question if Roman wanted a piece of the action. Setting an exaggerated frown on his face he nodded and flicked a hand over to the music guy. He grabbed a mic and walked out the curtain.   
  
His music set on a chorus of boos. It was Roman's favorite song.   
  
"Guys, guys," Roman said into the microphone. He held up a hand as if to placate the crowd and the two men glaring at him in the ring. Well, Drew was glaring. Finn was blank. "You two sure are talking alot. But it doesn't really matter who wins Sunday. Because I'll still walk out Universal champ at the Royal Rumble next month. I didn't mean to interrupt, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I'll be at ringside during your match."   
  
Drew turned his back on Finn and stepped towards the rope, mic raised to rumble whatever snippey things he could think of to Roman when Finn grabbed the Scot by the shoulder and turned him back around. Finn jumped up and drop kicked Drew hard so the bigger man fell against the ropes.   
  
"Don't turn your back on me!," Finn yelled, no longer holding the mic.   
  
Drew straightened up, furious.   
  
Then they both went at eachother, shelling out punches and jabs.   
  
Drew got the upper hand on Finn and big booted the smaller man down. Roman ran to the ring, wanting to get some action in after weeks of sitting and watching. He got Drew in with the superman punch. But the second he stood cussing Drew out for being a bitch in his yard, he turned around to come in contact with Finn's slingblade.   
  
Roman lays on the mat, hiding his smirk as he sees Finn grin and shrug before rolling out of the ring. Roman sat up and watched him leave. He couldn't help chuckling. Maybe not the best reaction to have to a possible future enemy. But man, Roman always had fun in the ring with Finn.   
  
The show cut to commercial.   
  


* * *

  
Seth's match against Corbin was the mainevent and it went as expected. Seth won.   
  
Roman could say he was a little shocked about Dean not coming and attacking Seth during the match. His estranged brother at least had the common decency to come out after the match and just stand on the stage and glare at Seth.   
  
But whatever.   
  
At the moment he was too busy changing with some of the others in the locker room. He could feel eyes on the back of his neck. And again, like the other day, when he turned around he found Finn sitting on the bench across the room, watching him openly as he worked off his kickpads and boots. His legs were open and his smirk was as sly as a fox.   
  
Finn's smirk became bolder when he caught Roman's eye.   
  
It felt like an invitation if Roman ever saw one. Like Finn was beckoning him closer. Asking- begging him with those ocean water wave colored eyes. Touch me. Taste me. Love me.   
  
A chill covered Roman's tan skin. The pulse in his heart pumped hard. Roman's fingers twitched from where they had been fidgeting with his duffel bag.   
  
The sensation only intensified when Finn stood, barefoot in trunks and a t-shirt. Finn's loving hands pulled his shirt up and over his head, giving Roman the best view of that beautiful body. The bigger man gulped and quickly flicked his eyes around the room to see if anyone had noticed Finn practically eye-fucking him.   
  
Damn. What was Finn doing to him?   
  
Feeling his jeans start to get a little tight, Roman grabbed his bag and tried his best to calmly walk out of the room. He would never hear the end of it if the male roster saw their locker room leader with a stiffy after watching the amazingly sexy Finn Balor strip only to his tiny tiny red trunks.   
  
God why was he in Finn in trunks anyway? He hadn't been scheduled for a match. He could have been in pants. Though the image of Finn in just black jeans and no shirt was just as sinful as Finn in just trunks. The man was beautiful regardless. Did he wear only trunks to tease Roman? What was Finn's game here?   
  
Didn't Finn understand that Roman didn't love him? Was Finn really okay flirting and teasing Roman like this knowing the emotions weren't the same?   
  
As Roman's heart pounded, walking to the locker room door, he turned around in time to see Finn slip off those trunks. And Roman was reminded of the Monday after Summerslam when he witnessed that beautiful ass in the same predicament. Stripped and creamy, with the slightest tan. Plush and soft.   
  
And like that night in Brooklyn, Roman took a second to appreciate fine art.   
  


* * *

  
**House Show 12/14/18**   
  
The odd behavior from Finn continued to the next house show. And by odd behavior he meant coy smiles and soft fingers brushing Roman's exposed skin anytime they walked by.   
  
It both confused and calmed Roman.   
  
Finn's touch felt so good after weeks of questioning his morality with John.   
  
Because John's touches had made him feel dirty and guilty. John fucked Roman so well. Roman loved it while it was happening. But afterward it made him feel like a liar.   
  
Lying to his friends about this (not) affair.   
  
But lying to himself more.   
  
Finn's touch, though?   
  
They awakened Roman's nerves. They coaxed out a sensation in Roman's heart to feel more. He wanted more.   
  
And not even in a carnal way. Not even in a sexual way (though Finn's fingers could spark up sexual fantasies in any person who's sexuality oriented towards the male gender).   
  
No. The feel of Finn's cool fingers against Roman's hot tan skin as they shifted around eachother in the Gorilla, just gave Roman the urge to hold that hand. Those touches made Roman want to curl up on his hotel bed with Finn's fingers petting and braiding his hair.   
  
And perhaps Finn had that same desire.   
  
Because after Finn interrupted Drew's match against Dolph Ziggler, Roman had an open challenge with Zack Ryder. Which was a great match. Zack was a hard worker and Roman appreciated a good effort. And then he had a few things to talk to with the brass before heading to the locker room, which was empty except for one lovely Irishman.   
  
An Irishman who was sitting at his locker, staring at the hands he had hanging between his legs, his elbows propped against his knees. He looked lost in thought when Roman walked in.   
  
But hearing Roman's footsteps pulled Finn's eyes up and his face softened. Blue eyes cleared and kindled with life despite Finn keeping a straight face. It was like he was smiling without actually smiling at all. Like just seeing Roman man him physically happier.   
  
It was... captivating.   
  
But Roman made sure not to look for too long, lest he be drawn in and never ever able to climb out of those soulful eyes and heart.   
  
Roman changed in silence, hearing Finn rustle around behind him. He didn't feel like showering at the arena. Though that might be because he had a feeling Finn would wait there until he made to leave.   
  
Just the thought of Finn waiting for him did something a little funny to Roman's heart. He attributed it to a need for a good friend now that Seth was riding with Bayley and Sasha and, Dean had kicked his brothers to the curb. Yeah. Roman just liked the idea of good company. And Finn was amazing company. A good listener. A funny sense of humor who always knew how to get Roman giggling.   
  
A good friend.   
  
A friend.   
  
A friend who's eyes were making the hairs on his neck stand up.   
  
A friend who's fingers had burned their soft touch into the skin of his arm like the brand of some demi-god clutching its next victim. It had felt good. It had felt secure and safe. It had set Roman's senses on fire for the entirety of Roman's match against Zack earlier.   
  
The thought of Finn's touch on him had Roman fumbling with his hair brush.   
  
His long dark hair was starting to dry and he knew if he didn't take care of it, it would result into a mass of tangles and knots.   
  
But he couldn't manage how to properly work the brush as he craved the touch of those fingers on his back, scratching down as they had hot and sweaty sex in so many different positions. Roman was having the worst time.   
  
Wrestle in front of hundreds of thousands? No problem. Brush his hair in front of Finn. All the problems.   
  
"Let me help."   
  
Finn's soft tenor made Roman jump a little. He hadn't expected it after these long ticking minutes of silence. He looked over his shoulder to see Finn put his phone down on his bag and stand up, walking up to Roman. Finn looked warm and cuddly in his sweatpants and plush hoodie. His eyes were serene like he was tired but relaxed.   
  
In contrast, Roman was not relaxed.   
  
He was the opposite. He was buzzing with energy hearing Finn's voice like this again. Not worried. Not sad. Not breaking.   
  
Finn's voice right now was pleasant to Roman's ears and it brought to mind how much he loved hearing it during late night conversations. It sparked the small flame hidden in the depths of Roman's mind to burn stronger.   
  
Finn took the brush out of Roman's hand without any indication that Roman even wanted his help. And truthfully, Roman wasn't sure if he did or didn't.   
  
But the second those fingers ran through his hair to part it, Roman's tense shoulders dropped.   
  
The gentle brushing of his hair cleared his mind- made Roman blank and pliable like he could just allow himself this moment of satisfaction and lean back into Finn's body. Because more than anything in that moment, Roman desired more than Finn's hands in his hair. He wanted those arms around his shoulders. He wanted those red lips on his neck. And he wanted that feeling again.   
  
That feeling that Finn gave him of comfort and forgiveness.   
  
"Do you want me to braid it?" Finn said low. He was running his fingers through the untangled mass of dark waves slow and delicate after he finished brushing it.   
  
Roman thought for a second. His eyes felt sleepy as the calm intimacy of the moment breathed into him. He tilted his head back far enough to lock eyes with Finn, pressing his head into the warm hoodie that did a terrible job in masking the feel of Finn's hard muscled body. Finn looked down at him, fingers still slipping through the Samoan's hair, scratching at Roman's scalp a little. So light and relaxing.   
  
He smiled, eyes and all, up at Finn's waiting expression. The older man smiled back. It made Roman's heart flutter just so.   
  
His blank mind could only register how beautiful Finn was. But he knew somewhere in the back of his mind, when this moment passed, Roman would feel cold again because he would be alone. And he would question Finn's actions to every degree. But for now... .   
  
For now, Roman wanted to soak it all in and enjoy the soothing fingers playing with his hair.   
  
"Yeah, I'd like that."   
  
Roman took the hair tie from his wrist and handed it back to Finn who in turn slipped it on. Then Finn started braiding Roman's hair with care and attention.   
  
A tender memory came to mind of the older man telling Roman that he had learned how to braid hair because his nieces made him do their hair when they come to visit. He had told Roman that he wasn't much good at it. And Roman had replied, during that sleepy night after a house show, that Finn could always practice on him after Finn did his best work washing Roman's hair. It wasn't just anyone that Roman trusted with his hair, but Finn treated it so gently that Roman never worried.   
  
Finn hummed so quietly as he worked the hair around his hands. Roman didn't recognize it but he felt like he had heard it somewhere. Of course, he didn't know that Finn hummed the little Irish nursery rhyme when he couldn't sleep during those nights they were together, wrapped in hotel sheets and eachother's loose arms.   
  
Finished, Finn tied the long braid with the tie, then dropped the hair altogether and took a step back. But he didn't move too far, blue eyes scanning over Roman's face. The bigger man was sure he saw those blue-green eyes shift sadly.   
  
As if those eyes realized that this moment may be fleeting in the end.   
  
Roman turned around on the bench, moving his leg over so he was straddling the seat. He looked up at Finn, eyes dancing over the handsome features.   
  
They weren't talking and that was okay. It wasn't awkward. But it was thick with some unspoken aura.   
  
Finn's fingers raised and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Roman's ear, leaning closer.   
  
And closer.   
  
Agonizingly slow.   
  
Fire.   
  
Roman wasn't sure what he was feeling at that moment. But it was akin to butterflies in his stomach, but they weren't fluttering. They were flipping around like he was a bouncy house. And Fire. A Fire that always lit in him with Finn. Since the first time they made out in the dark hallway the night Roman hid from Braun Strowman. A fire that attached to his blood stream. But not a lusty fire that made him hot. No, it was warm and pleasant. Like a blanket draped over a tired body.   
  
Roman wanted Finn's lips as close as possible.   
  
And it looked like he would get that, Finn's hand lingered on his cheek and his gum scented breath ghosting Roman's hot skin.   
  
But then a loud ringing tore the moment apart and Finn straightened up.   
  
The smaller man closed his eyes and gulped. He looked so conflicted. And he was, because he hadn't meant to go this far. He hadn't meant to push Roman this far this quick. He just wanted to touch Roman so bad. As if flirtatious touches weren't enough.   
  
Finn walked over to his stuff and grabbed his phone, answering it, looking at anywhere but at Roman's fallen face.   
  
He spoke to whoever had called, but Roman didn't register a word. His ears were buzzing with heat.   
  
"My uber is here," Finn muttered. He grabbed his stuff, slipping his duffel over his shoulder, before glancing at Roman. "I'll see you Sunday."   
  
Then he was gone and the warm energy that had enveloped the locker room seeped away leaving Roman as cold as he had expected to be.   
  
Alone again.   
  
But this time, the lingering feel of Finn touching his face made Roman's heart slam in his chest.   
  
And those butterflies in his stomach continued to play and fly around as he drove to the hotel, checked in, and collapsed on the bed. He felt exhausted, but he was oddly sleepy unlike his usual restlessness. A little twitch up of his lips lit his face.   
  
He twisted the braid in his hand as he started to drift off. He didn't worry about his alarm being set since he could sleep in a little tomorrow. He didn't worry about sleeping in jeans and a sweatshirt. He just fell asleep with a clear mind. No worries. No cares.   
  


* * *

  
Saturday morning Bayley, Sasha, and Seth grabbed some breakfast and were back on the road to San Jose for TLC. The car ride wasn't long, but Sasha soon knocked out in the back seat as Seth drove. Bayley lowered the music so that her best friend wouldn't wake up, but the pop punk still played loud enough for both her and Seth to nod along.   
  
It was peaceful. Just the road, some music, and beautiful company, Seth thought.   
  
Sometimes he would glance over at Bayley just to look at her. He didn't have a reason. Just wanted to see her face. She was playing some game on her phone for most of the ride. The little knot between her brows as she concentrated was really cute. Seth wanted to kiss it smooth.   
  
After some time not making a sound, Bayley huffed annoyed and put her phone away. She leaned back against the seat closing her eyes. She had been trying to ignore the fact that she wanted to hold the hand that rested on the middle console of the rental. But the game was more frustrating than it was distracting. She really wanted to lace her fingers with Seth's and brush her thumb over the soft hairs at his wrist. Wanted to touch him and feel him. Wanted to wrap her arms around him and brush her hands through his hair.   
  
She wanted to make Seth happy. She wanted him to smile happily all the time because his smile melted her heart until it was hot liquid sloshing in his ribcage. Boy, did she love this man, her good friend of many years.   
  
If only she could make him like her back.   
  
Bayley pressed her lips together, her eyes squeezing as if that would stop the images from leaking into her mind. But it wasn't working so she opened her eyes and looked off into the distance. Bayley let her imagination run wild for a second and imagined leaning over the console, taking that thick beard in her hand, turning that face to her, and smashing her lips to his. She imagined pouring her heart into one kiss. She imagined him kissing her back.   
  
But then she imagined the car swerving on the road, because that is what happens when you try to be intense while the other person is driving. Life isn't a movie, Bayley.   
  
"Penny for your thoughts," Seth asked softly, seeing the woman beside him look a little stressed. "Need a pit stop?"   
  
Her hair was loose and the silky brown flat ironed locks whipped around with the way she shook her head. The smile pulling her lips was pretty. Seth liked it. Wanted to savour it. It was just a simple little upturn of her lips, but it was enough to make his stomach do that funny little flip.   
  
"I'm good," Bayley replied. "Was just lost in thought."   
  
Seth nodded.   
  
They were quiet for a second, letting the sound of All Time Low on the radio wash over them.   
  
Curiosity nibbled at Seth, though. He wanted to asked Bayley about what had made that look pop up on her face. He couldn't pinpoint what it was that she had been thinking before he interrupted her thoughts, but it looked ... good. Her brown eyes had narrowed, but they were amused. It was like her eyes had been smiling. And her mouth had been opened just the slightest, like a little 'o'. That was until she bit her bottom lip.   
  
He wanted to know what had made her look like that.   
  
"Must have been something interesting," Seth said before he could stop himself. Bayley looked at him, confused. "Earlier. You said you were lost in thought. It must have been something interesting." He paused to glance at her. "You looked like you were thinking about something really good."   
  
Bayley's cheeks flushed a soft pink, like rose petals on her tan skin. With makeup on Bayley looked beautiful. And without it she looked just as amazing. Seth realized that Bayley had his heart beating fast no matter what she was wearing. And to Seth, that was the best kind of feeling. He was wrapped around her little pinky and it was totally okay.   
  
"It was pretty good," Bayley said, winking as if she and Seth had an inside joke together.   
  
The wink went straight to his dick.   
  
He shifted and hoped that his arousal wouldn't grow more than that. He wasn't sure he could find a hole big enough to drop himself into if Bayley saw he sporting a woody while driving.   
  
Seth gulped and put on a smirk. "Yeah? What was it about? Got yourself a boyfriend I should be jealous of?" He waited on bated breath for her answer.   
  
"Nope. Single as always, Sethie."   
  
Seth felt relief pour out of him. He relaxed back into the seat and the grip he had unconsciously tightened on the steering wheel lessened.   
  
"What about you?" Bayley asked him. "No girlfriend you're hiding from us?"   
  
He wished he had the balls to say he had a girl in mind and that she was sitting beside him. Instead he shook his head. "Haven't had one in years. I'm starting to think I'm going to be a bachelor all my life," he admitted. He wasn't wrong. It had been a while since he had a girlfriend. Last one was Zahra. And that was just a cluster-fuck. Back then he was a different person. He was more worried about gold and prestige. He had abandoned his friends. He had cheated on his then fiancee.   
  
Seth had worked alot since then to become a better person and learn from his mistakes.   
  
"What about Nikki?"   
  
He looked at her quickly, not pushing his luck despite the empty road in front of them. "Nikki?"   
  
"Yeah." Bayley fidgeted around, picking at her nails. "I thought you and Nikki Bella were messing around."   
  
How did Bayley know? Was he that obvious?   
  
She must have read the questions on his face because she quickly said, "I saw her coming out of your room one time."   
  
"Oh," Seth muttered. His pouty lips frowned. He thought about how long ago that night had felt. It had been good. It had been what Seth had dreamed of. But, really, Seth was happy it had only been a night. Nikki wasn't the girl for him. He was beyond happy that Nikki had let him down easy. "That was just a one time thing."   
  
Bayley nodded. "Don't you have a thing for her?"   
  
"How...?"   
  
"You're kinda obvious," she snickered.   
  
Seth sighed. Had he really been that obvious? No wonder he had gotten Nikki in bed so quickly. She must have seen it all over his face that he was super into her. Which made him wonder whether or not Seth was being really obvious about his feelings for Bayley. Roman had easily called it the other night when they were out for drinks. Who's to say Bayley couldn't see it either?   
  
"Oh yeah. We got together once, but she's not looking for anything right now. And, I mean, I find her attractive, but I'm not into her that much to chase after her, you know? She's cool, but I'm okay with just one night."   
  
It was Bayley's turn to feel relieved. Good news for her, Seth was not hung up on the extremely beautiful Nikki Bella. Bayley wasn't sure she could compete with a someone like Nikki. Bayley was always self-conscious of her looks and trying to get Seth's attention on her instead of Nikki would have been near impossible. But at least now she knew for sure she had some kind of chance.   
  
A sly smirk pulled Bayley's features. It was a strange look on her. As if it wasn't supposed to be there because Bayley wasn't supposed to be sly or wicked. She was a ray of sunshine and Seth admired that about her. Despite how foreign the look was to Seth, he had a feeling that maybe Bayley was much more sly than he gave her credit for, because the smirk wasn't forced. This was a natural look for her.   
  
It made him really curious.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Was the sex bad?"   
  
He sputtered, eyes wide. "Bayley!"   
  
"What? I want to know," she chuckled. "Was the sex not up to par with your expectations? I mean they do say never meet your heroes."   
  
He couldn't help laugh at her wording. "One, Nikki isn't my hero. Two, the sex was good. I'll spare you the details, but I had no complaints." Seth didn't notice the sliver of emotion cross Bayley's brown eyes as his own brown hues watched the road. "She's just not the one. ... Not who I picture my future with."   
  
Bayley watched the small little smile form on his face. She had a hard time tearing her eyes away from it. "Are you saying you're looking for the future Mrs. Rollins?"   
  
Seth made a dramatic groan even though he looked entirely amused. "Maybe? I don't know. Guess I'll know when I find her."   
  
"What if you already have?" Bayley asked, heart pounding in her chest.   
  
Yeah, Seth, what if you already have found her? He mused.   
  
"I probably already have," Seth sighed. "I'm oblivious so she's probably ready to give up on me," he chuckled. He honestly had no clue if any of his female acquaintances liked him. Not that he really cared about other women. He didn't give a damn about them. Because, he thought, they weren't Bayley. "Either way. If she's out there. I'll find her or she'll find me."   
  
"Yeah," Bayley said softly. "One day."   
  
The rest of the ride was filled with small talk about possible cafes they could visit in San Jose and where the closest crossfit to the hotel was.   
  
In the back, eyes closed and breathing even, sat Sasha, stretched out and comfortable. She had been alseep, but had woken up when she heard Bayley and Seth talking. She heard most of the conversation. And it was really fucking hard to not roll her eyes.   
  
_Jesus Christ, Bay. You had a chance why didn't you take it!_ Sasha screamed mentally.   
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd give you guys a little bit of fluff to break the angst I've thrown at you for several chapters. Hope it was nice enough lol. (also I know Roman's daughter is 11 irl, but lord I need here little younger for the cute factor okay)  
> There's about 7 or 8 chapters left for this story. Gasp I know.  
> So A request to you my lovely readers. Leave me a comment about what songs remind you of Roman/John or Roman/Finn. Give me music recs.
> 
> Love Natsuki Lee


	17. Chapter 17

**December 12, 2018 TLC PPV**

Roman's head was still a little fuzzy from the houseshow on Friday.

Finn hadn't left his mind since the intimate moment in the locker room.

Roman couldn't shake the feeling off. He couldn't shake away the need to hold Finn in his arms. Roman just wanted to kiss him. He wanted to finish what was started Friday night.

It scared him a little, Roman wasn't going to lie to himself. It scared him that he wanted Finn so much. He wasn't dumb. Roman knew he was starting to feel something for Finn.

But after everything with John Cena, Roman was a little scared to admit to himself that maybe he could be happy with Finn.

Or maybe Roman was afraid that Finn wouldn't want him anymore. It was always a possibility.

Who would want a man that uses them?

Roman.

That's right. He did, apparently.

John had messaged him again that morning. It took all of his will power to ignore it. It was still sitting in his messages unopened and glaring at him.

But he couldn't think about John.

Not with Finn on his mind.

Not with the number 1 contender match tonight.

Not with his sanity on it's last threads.

Roman needed to forget John. He had to. For himself. For his family.

The music in his ears was soft and calm. Some girl group from the 90s he couldn't pinpoint. It dulled the noise of the arena. Too much was going on around him as usual and all he wanted was to unscramble his thoughts. But this close to the show starting meant that Roman wasn't going to get that chance.

Another text from John buzzed on his phone. Roman sighed and tugged the headphones out and placed his phone behind him, the screen bright as day saying the words John and "Tonight?"

As Roman stuffed his head in his hands, a tall locker room veteran walked by. The icy blue eyes couldn't help but look down at the lit screen behind the hulking Samoan man and he almost immediately rolled his eyes hard enough to hurt. It was easy to connect the dots. And for some damn reason something in him told him to help Roman in this time of need.

Roman looked beside him when someone sat down. It would be an understatement to say he was surprised that Randy Orton was there, dressed for the show, looking at him with serious eyes.

What the hell? Randy wasn't exactly Roman's friend. They actually kind of hated eachother for a long time. The brand split saved them from interacting, but Roman didn't forget 2014 and 2015 when he and Randy were practically at eachother's necks every week.

"Hey," Randy said. He cleared his throat and idly scratched his left arm. "You holding up okay?"

"Yeah." Roman responded, sounding more like a question than an answer. He was not sure what Randy was asking about. What gave Randy the idea that Roman even wanted to talk to him?

"Listen, I just wanted to..." The viper paused and look up to the high ceilings as if looking for the right words. "If you ever need someone to talk to or you... got people who aren't supportive, I got your back."

...?

Roman gave Randy a blank look.

Randy just stared at him back, face set in a stern frown, like a dad talking to his child.

They were silently staring at eachother for a few seconds before it clicked in Roman's head. There's only 2 reasons someone in this company would offer that type of support. One, you came out of the closet or two, you wanted to ask Vince for a title match.

And Roman already had the title.

"Who told you?"

"Cena."

Roman groaned and his face went pale. "Fuck. Of course."

Strong hands went up defensively, trying to placate the devastation on Roman's face. "Look, don't freak out. John and I have been friends for a long time. I know more about the man's past than I would honestly want to. He likes to come to me for advice alot. And he talked to me about you."

Was there a word for how uncomfortable Roman was right now? Because he couldn't think of just one word to explain extremely uncomfortable with a side of nauseous and skin crawling. Randy was not the person he thought he would ever talk about John with. But here they were. And John had already told Randy God knows how much.

Randy took Roman's silence as a sign to continue. It probably wasn't. Randy already started this, though, might as well finish.

"And about John... I'm saying this as his friend, and I _am_ friends with the douchebag, but don't get lost up in his his bullshit. John is a mess and he's not a good guy to hang yourself on. John,... John still loves Nikki as much as he plays that he doesn't. You probably already figured that out yourself, though. And he's not gay or bi or whatever else is out there. Trying to get with him is just setting yourself up for heartbreak. John isn't worth that much."

Randy sighed deep and low. His thin lips tugged into a sad little smile. The moment was tense as they sat there. Roman watched him as they locked eyes and a hand was placed on Roman's fingers, squeezing for a split second. The smile vanished.

"It hurts more than it's worth loving a guy like John."

Before Roman could say anything or even process what was just said, Randy stood and walked away.

His eyes widened comically as he registered what Randy had meant. The viper had just admitted to him a huge secret. A secret Randy had probably kept hidden for years. But he just let Roman in on it. Holy Shit.

Never in his life would Roman think he would have something like that in common with Randy Orton.

The shock stayed with Roman for a few more hours, even when he met up with Seth backstage. He didn't tell his best friend no matter how hard Seth pestered him though. Some secrets weren't his to tell.

But what Randy had said made Roman's heart ache for the man. And it cleared Roman's mind a little.

Years.

Randy pined for John for years, that much Roman could tell now.

But he eventually moved on and now he's happy with a big family and can't stop gushing about how amazing his wife and kids are.

So maybe, Roman can find that happiness too.

Maybe Roman will be able to move on from John sooner rather than later.

A set of bubbly giggles from across the monitor area made Roman smile. Those familiar giggles.

Yeah. He'll get over John.

* * *

  
Roman sat outside the ring near the commentary table, the Universal championship strap in his lap. But the red leather and polished metal was almost on the ground with the way he was on the edge of his seat watching the match. He tried to stay calm and composed, maintain his air of confidence, but the intensity that Drew McIntyre and Finn Balor had together was undeniable. It was energetic and brutal.

It reminded Roman of all the things he loved about wrestling. The good guy versus the bad guy. Simple. Easy. Relatable.

Dangerous. Angry. Hungry.

Roman watched the crowd on their feet when the action was obviously coming close to a finish. But Drew and Finn were still at it, back and forth. Any breathing room was only a few seconds before one of them would jump up and grab the other in a grapple. The crowd was still hyped up after Braun Strowman (with some help) beat down Baron Corbin and made sure Baron was never going to be General Manager and securing Braun a match with Lesnar at Royal Rumble.

He watched as Finn ran towards Drew for another slingblade, but Drew quickly countered, twisting away and pushing the smaller man down with force. Finn came crashing down, rolling towards the ropes, hand reaching up to his shoulder. The one he had torn up years ago.

The crowd's yelling and chanting faded into his heartbeat, thumping through the rush of blood in his veins, filling his ears. A cold sweat slipped slowly down his back. No no no. Please, don't let Finn be injured again. Don't do that to him, please.

Finn's gripped at his shoulder before dropping his hand, eyes looking up at the ceiling of the arena. Relief flashed in his eyes just momentarily before those blues hardened on the big Scot, who slowly came back up to his feet, huffing and panting.

Drew grabbed Finn by the head, pulling the smaller man up like a doll. Finn felt himself being flung over Drew's shoulders but was able to wiggle away, dropping to his knees. Quickly, he stood and jumped up, dropkicking Drew in the chest, staggering the bigger man into the turnbuckle. Finn backed up and ran forward again, jumping up for another hard shove to Drew's chest.

Drew hit back into the turnbuckle.

Quickly, Finn pulled the exhausted Scot out of the corner like a bag of trash, letting the 6 foot 5 inch tall man plop onto the mat. Finn swooped under the top ring rope and was up on the turnbuckle before Roman could blink. Where was this energy from? It had been 30 minutes of solid action and Finn was still able to stand on the top rope without a flinch.

He raised up his arms, pointing up, before jumping high, knees bent for the Coup de Grace. The crowd on their feet.

But then, Drew rolled out of the way. Roman cringed. Finn had landed hard, falling on his ass. The impact of the landing must have shot up Finn's legs because he yelped and reached for the ropes for leverage.

Would it be completely biased and horrible of Roman if he just went in there and punched Drew McIntyre while the ref was distracted?

Roman really wanted too.

But Finn would not be welcome to the help. Roman knew that much was true. Finn was proud in his ability. As he should be. As was Roman.

So instead, Roman continued to watch as Drew threw Finn around. It was killing him. He wanted Finn to win so badly.

Not because Roman didn't want to face Drew. Not because he wanted to specifically face Finn Balor at Royal Rumble.

He just wanted Finn to have this win.

Because Roman had taken from Finn so much a few months ago, when he took his feelings and denied them. Because Finn deserved some good in life. Because Finn was an amazing person who didn't deserve to come this far and get tossed to the side like a cheap pen. He was worth his weight in gold and a chance at gold was a great way to prove it.

The crowd was loud, cheering Finn on, begging the man to stand and fight back when it looked like hope was lost.

"Come on, Balor!" Drew taunted. He bent down and grabbed Finn's face in his big rough hands, making Roman bristle. "Are you nothing without your Demon?"

Finn's head lolled to the side the second Drew let go. He looked physically defeated.

Then those ocean blue eyes slowly lifted to the man sitting at ring side. Finn's face was pulled and twisted in defeated anguish, heaving for air to ease the burn of his lungs. But the second he looked into those brown eyes, soft and worried, something changed.

Roman could see Finn's tense body lighten.

The Irishman closed his blue eyes, took a calming breath, leveling himself.

As Drew watched, crouched in the corner like a caged animal ready to attack the zookeeper, Finn stood back up. It took him a second to find balance, body picking itself up slow but fluid. Roman could see the toned muscles shifting and flexing to support that movement and it hypnotized him for a second.

But only for a second, because that's all Finn gave him (and the crowd). The two men stared at eachother, sweat dripping from Finn's nose and long hair sticking to Drew's face.

Then, jumping right back into the action, they stepped forward, fists ready. The crowd booed and cheered as they exchanged punches back and forth.

Finn punched hard and kicked high, rattling Drew.

Then again.

Then a knee to the face.

Woozy and blinking hard to force back the blur seeping into his eyes, Drew looked like he was ready to drop.

But before he could do that, Finn grabbed him strongly. He hooked the right arm in his left and tucked Drew's head under his shoulder. With a strength Roman forgot Finn even had, the Irishman lifted Drew into the air. Drew was tall, long legs vertical like they could reach the ceiling. The 1916 never looked so beautiful as Finn dropped back, letting Drew's head connect with the ring mat.

The entire crowd was on their feet, most of them cheering and screaming, watching this perfect man by the name of Finn Balor walk to the turnbuckle one more time, this time slower. This time holding onto his side. One step at a time, he went up until he was standing high at the top.

Roman has been awestruck many times in his life. It's the prize of being in the WWE and experiencing all that he had. But never, never ever, in his life had he been in awe of something so ...angelic, like he was now.

The lights, in that split second that Finn stood on the corner, haloed the man. Maybe Roman had been seeing things. Maybe the lights didn't give him this saint like glow. Maybe Roman was hallucinating from his emotional turmoil the past few months? But it didn't matter, because at that moment, Roman only saw Finn.

Finn jumped high with the Coup de Grace, this time connecting fiercely.

A fast cover, the crowd counting with the slaps of the refs hand.

One

Two

The crowd started booing and Roman looked up just as Lashley and Lio Rush came up to the ring ropes effectively distracting the ref and Finn enough for Drew to kick out.

Finn's eyes went wide as he stood looking at the now standing Drew McIntyre. He kept glancing over his shoulder at Drew's friends, waiting to see if the two would interfere or not. It was a shock that Baron Corbin hadn't shown up either, but with Braun Strowman and company taking the GM reject down earlier, it made sense he didn't appear.

Finn braced himself for attack from behind, slumped in the center of the ring watching his opponent's face split with a sinister smirk.

Lashley and Rush started to climb through the ring ropes as the referee tried to stop them, holding his hands up as if the small man could stop them.

But would they really risk Drew's title shot by attacking Finn? Drew would get disqualified. Were they stupid?

Roman watched, anger scrunching up his face, brow furrowed deep.

No they were just a distraction. Drew was going to make sure Finn was off his game without actually getting Lashley and Rush to lay their hands on anyone.

Roman wasn't going to stand for that. Before his mind could stop his body, the big dog was up on his feet, belt falling to the side with a clatter only he heard over the crowd, then he ran. He ran around the ring towards the ramp side. He grabbed Lio Rush's legs first, pulling him down and landing a hard punch to his jaw. The cruiserweight dropped to the ground, never standing a chance to avert danger like he normally did.

Lashley seeing his manager and hype man get Knocked out, jumped down to ringside and started fighting with the Universal Champion. Their fists rained down on each other before Roman landed a nice hard Superman Punch that had Lashley knocked off his rocker.

In the ring, Drew who was distracted by his alliance members being attacked didn't see Finn come charging at him with a slingblade.

Roman calmly backed up as a few refs came out to check Lashley and Rush. Finn looked down at him with weary eyes but Roman just shrugged and grinned as if he didn't just save Finn's possible championship reign from being destroyed before it even had a chance to bloom.

Finn turned away from him, getting back to the task in front of him. Another slingblade as Drew stood back up on rickety feet. Then, after an irish whip in the corner, he backed up all the way across before running in for the shotgun dropkick. Drew crumpled to the mat.

The crowd could feel the win in their veins buzzing like it was life force itself as Finn climbed the turnbuckle again, flying up before planting his feet firmly into Drew's body.

A cover.

Roman's held breath.

And a win.

The explosion of cheers could deafen the world.

But the feelings blossoming in Roman could eclipse the sun. Pride and happiness filled him as he watched Finn's hand get raised.

* * *

  
"Roman, your number 1 contender has just been crowned. What are your thoughts?" Charlie Caruso asked him in the interview area minutes after he had stepped backstage, leaving Finn to celebrate his hard fought victory.

Roman adjusted the red strap he held over his shoulder, looking down at Charlie. "I think it couldn't go to anyone more deserving."

He paused.

"Finn Balor is an amazing competitor and I am anticipating facing him in the ring. But just like the Monday after Summerslam, I'm going to walk out of the Royal Rumble still Universal Champion."

He smirked despite his stomach still fluttering with these feelings he couldn't quite place but were familiar. Like Deja Vu during a new experience. A feeling in the pit of his stomach that matched the flame burning in the depths of his mind.

"Believe that, Charlie."

* * *

  
Roman sat in the locker alone. It was the end of the night now. TLC was over. Most people were gone. What was once a full locker room with luggage everywhere was now empty and quiet. Except for the sound of a shower running in the adjacent room.

A part of him smiled at the memory of that night the shield was put in jail and then got beat the living hell out of by the heel roster. He remembered being loopy and out of it. He remembered helping Seth get dressed, since his arm was all cut up.

And he remembered the feeling like Finn was there, because he had always been around in the most opportune moments months ago. The shower had shut off and in sauntered the beautiful Finn Balor in just a towel. Roman wished he had appreciated it more then.

Back in the present, the shower shut off and Roman looked to the bathroom door, expectantly. Hoping his intuition was right, that Finn would come back into the locker room as if walking back into Roman's life.

Because he missed Finn so much.

Because Roman could feel the brewing in his soul that wasn’t there weeks ago.

But it wasn't Finn.

Out came Elias. Wrapped in a towel. In his own world, humming some song.

Elias looked up when he noticed Roman. “Hey, man”

Roman nodded and looked away. “Hey.”

Roman stood up and grabbed his bags. Slowly, he walked to the door. A shadow cast over him. He felt defeated more than any lost match could make him.

He felt a little dumb.

It’s not like he had sat in the locker room waiting to see if he could congratulate Finn in private, away from cameras and people. It wasn’t like he was waiting for Finn.

But he could have looked around and noted that Finn’s gear bag was gone. Finn had already left.

Everyone had left except for him… and the wet haired Elias.

Roman should have left already. He should have gone to his car and driven with Seth to the next town. But he didn’t. He made some excuse about talking to production about something. And in the end he missed out on Finn and he missed out on consoling his brother after his loss to Dean.

Despite the feeling of guilt Roman was pushing back, he knew Seth would be okay because he had gone off with Bayley and Sasha. And lately anything involving Bayley had Seth smiling. He was in good strong hands with that girl. If only he had the balls to ask her out.

Roman wished Elias a good night, exiting the locker room, walking through the hallways filled with crews organizing and packing up, out the parking lot and into his rental. The 2 hour drive flew, Roman’s mind was elsewhere. By the time he got to the hotel, he wasn’t even sure what had occupied his mind, because it was blank.

His mind was both at ease and heavy.

Dropping his luggage near the door, Roman felt exhaustion weigh him down. He didn’t wrestle that night but his emotional stress the past few weeks has made him tired very often.

As he took off his shoes he mused on his conversation with Randy Orton earlier. Roman was still a little shocked that Randy had practically admitted to loving John Cena. But he had also made it very clear to Roman that his love for John might not fully ever go away, but it will not hold him down. Roman can overcome this like he has overcome the odds before.

Roman can move on.

And he will. For his sake. For the sake of his heart. For the sake of his life.

And truth be told, after the many times in bed with John, Roman felt cold. Roman felt unloved. He felt spurned by the lack of affection. It was only carnal satisfaction from John and that hurt Roman more than he wanted to admit to himself.

Why couldn’t Roman be loved by the man he wanted instead of being loved by a man he didn’t feel like he really deserved after all of this drama?

Roman removed his jacket and shirt before dropping his pants.

Then he laughed.

Because the second he took off his jeans he was naked.

He had randomly stopped wearing underwear.

He might as well blame his constant thoughts about Finn Balor, who had shown Roman that the Irishman going commando was Roman’s favorite quirk.

Though years ago Roman had joked on Renee’s network show that he didn’t wear underwear. It had truly been a joke.

But he guessed it was the truth now.

Roman smiled to himself as he plugged his phone in. Climbing into bed Roman wanted to blame Finn for the new ticks he had, such as the constant desire to never wear underwear.

But most of all Roman was sure he could blame Finn for his high expectations in love and men as well as the itching feeling he had clawing at his heart.

* * *

  
Seth wondered if he should feel the way he felt after losing the title he had worked so hard to achieve. He thought he should feel angry and upset. He thought he should feel vengeful. But at the very moment, Seth didn’t feel that way. Sure he was going to get his rematch against Dean. He was going to get his damn title back.

Until then, though, he was content to be in the hotel after a long and exhausting night. But the amount of wear and tear on his body wasn’t enough to stop him from feeling better around the beautiful women he shared a room with. She had talked to him the entire 2 hour ride, not letting his mind dig deep into the mess that was his relationship with Dean Ambrose. Instead, she distracted him and he truly appreciated it.

From the plush bed across the room, Seth watched as Bayley grabbed her bathroom bag. TLC had been brutal for all of them but Seth just wanted to sleep. He had taken a quick shower at the arena and then he, Bayley and Sasha drove to Sacramento. So nothing but his bed sounded good at the moment.

Sleep was sure to fall on him quickly.

But his tired eyes still lingered on Bayley walking into the decent sized bathroom with her night clothes in one hand and her purple bag of shampoos and conditioners and whatever else. And Seth knew that when she came out she would be warm from the beating shower stream. He hair would be damp and sticking to her face. Her body would be in those tiny shorts.

And the idea itself had Seth’s cock thickening.

Fuck.

He wanted to go in the bathroom right now and watch her, admire her beauty, as she ran soap over her perfect breasts and golden skin. It took him a second of lust clouded exhaustion to realize that he shouldn’t get up and check if the door was unlocked because that was an invasion of privacy beyond all words.

Seth was alot of things, but a creep he was not.

With a sigh he rubbed at his eyes and tried to get the images out of his head, but a soft little noise caught his attention.

It was just loud enough to be heard over the shower running, but if the tv had been on, Seth most likely would have missed it.

His ears strained to hear it again, that tiny little sound that made images fly back into his mind.

Slowly, he shifted the covers off of his suddenly way to hot body and padded closer to the door. He didn’t quite touch the door, afraid it would betray him and open to show Bayley that he was there. Instead, he leaned against the wall and listened.

More soft sounds. Small gasps. And then, a long low moan.

The sounds hit Seth like waves of ecstacy, charging into him, wrapping him up, making him dizzy and clear headed all at the same time.

Fuck.

Oh Fuck.

Was Bayley…?

Just beyond that door?

Was she masterbating?

As if to answer his question another moan barely audible over the sound of water splashing around.

Seth closed his eyes and took in the sounds. If he listened real close, beyond the sound of the shower raining down on her beautiful body, he could hear Bayley gasping and panting.

His imagination took over and he pictured her leaning against the tiled wall. One of those strong legs lifted and propped up against the other wall. Soap suds ran down her wet body, streaking her in such a beautiful way. A work of art Seth wanted to stare at all his life. He craved to touch her, feel the silky soap painting her body. Seth reached his hand into his sweatpants and gripped his very hard dick.

Her gasps got harsher and he wondered if she was using her hand. Were her fingers slipping in and out of her wet pussy? Was she rubbing the hard nub between the folds? Seth had to hold back a groan at the thought. He wanted to taste her so badly. He wanted to run his tongue where her fingers were playing. He wanted to suck and prod around and figure out what exactly was making Bayley moan in the shower. How would she like it? What would she want him to do for her? How would she taste on his tongue when she held his face in place? Would she moan for him as beautifully as she was now?

Or were there no fingers in her wet hole? Maybe, Seth mused, in that purple bag of hers there was a toy. A toy she hid away just for alone time in the shower. In his mind’s eye, he saw her slide a small vibrator in and out while her other hand circled her clit.

Her thighs were trembling under the hot water stream. Wet hair stuck to her face as she tipped her head back to gasp and groan.

She wasn’t going hard. No she would be going slow. Almost teasing herself.

Teasing him

Seth pumped his hand just as slow as the Bayley in his imagination was going. His other hand flexed against the wall behind him, wishing it was groping Bayley’s hips while he ate her out. Desperately, he wanted to know how beautiful she was down there too. But he knew he didn’t much care for the specifics. Seth just wanted to feel her around him. He wanted to look into her big brown eyes when she came undone on his tongue.

As her moans got more frequent they got a little louder, enough to erase any doubt in Seth’s mind that she was playing with herself just a few feet away. His hand jerked faster. He was going to cum because of her moans. They were getting him so hard his hand couldn’t keep up.

Finally, a long choked off groan, so desperate, made Seth see stars, his cum splashing against his boxers, warm even compared to his flushed skin.. He was a mess, but he imagined that Bayley was too, legs shaking and mouth open while she came.

He wondered if her thighs were just as wet from the water as they were from her own juices.

The last sparks of orgasm was lighting up his body when he heard the shower shut off.

His mind was cloudy and sated, but he quickly realized he needed to get back into bed. So he practically flew across the room, over the corner of Bayley’s bed and into his own, pulling the covers over his body to hide his shame.

After a few minutes of loud silence, Bayley emerged from the bathroom, hair in a towel and shorts sticking to her still damp skin. If Seth hadn’t just cum, he probably would have been hard again just at the sight of her body. Her nipples poked through her t-shirt and Seth’s mouth watered..

Fuck.

She put her dirty clothes and purple bag into her suitcase and went to her own bed.

He pretended to be asleep, not wanting to embarrass her with the possibility that he heard. But he had heard.

And he wanted to hear more.

* * *

  
_He was grappling an opponent in the ring, the feeling of doom and unforetold futures making him dizzy and worried._

_For sure, Roman was going to lose this match._

_He was going to lose his title._

_But he’d lost so much, recently. God, please don’t let him lose this too._

_He struggled, pulling away from the grapple, cocking his arm for a superman punch that never seemed to come. He couldn’t move his arms. Why couldn’t he move his arms?_

_Roman looked down at his hands for an explanation only to find they being held. Weary, he brought his brown eyes back up to see who held his hands and his breath hitched when they locked on vibrant blues._

_He felt like he was at sea, the sound of ocean water lapping the sands and rocks, flooding his ears. Seagulls cawed off in the distance of the arena of people watching the match unfold._

_Finn titled his head to the side ever so slightly as if he was questioning what Roman was thinking, but he didn’t say a word as he clasped Roman’s hand harder, leading them onto the toned fair skin. One hand placed on Finn’s neck, the other slipped naturally around the crook of Finn’s elbow. A collar and elbow tie-up had never made Roman feel more vulnerable in his life._

_With feather like touches, Finn slipped around his body, holding him around the waist in another lock. The hands were warm on his body, the gentle temperature spreading out through the rest of him. It felt like he was glowing with the warmth radiating from his waist. When Roman looked down to see if he was really glowing he saw that he didn’t have on his wrestling vest. His upper body was bear, with the exception of the hands splayed on his belly._

_The sight sprung Roman into action. He had to keep his title._

_He won’t lose it._

_He can’t._

_What else would he have? Lies he told to the crowd about defending the championship every week when he hadn’t defended it in a PPV since Crown Jewel. Goals of being the best champion of the modern era that he couldn’t achieve without the championship around his waist. And a heart that ached to be loved but couldn’t let itself be loved._

_Roman squatted down, prying at Finn’s hands, looking for release. When he could wiggle his fingers between his body and Finn’s hand, he took hold, stepped out and extended Finn arm out. Twisting underneath it, Roman placed the smaller man in a wrist lock. A tiny little prick of thought asked Roman if this was the shoulder Finn had injured, but it wasn’t and that washed Roman with momentary relief._

_Before Roman could wrench the arm and twist it more, Finn rolled back, easing the pressure on his wrist. Finn reversed the move and Roman found himself in a wrist lock instead._

_But it had no torque. It was light and Roman could easily just pull his arm away with a little force._

_Looking up, questions written all over his face, Roman finally took a look at Finn._

_Roman swore he was smiling at him, red lips twisted softly under the thick brown beard. Finn wore the red trunks that Roman loved so much, making the slight tan of his skin stand out under the hot arena lights. A soft contour of baby oil lined his perfect abs, just enough to look good to the crowd. Not that Finn ever had to try hard to manage that._

_But Roman could see that something black and scrawling like Balor’s paint was on Finn’s back. He wanted to see it. This was Finn, not Balor. What was going on?_

_Roman pulled out of Finn’s hold, trying to ignore the way Finn gave an annoyed grunt and how those fingers tried to hold him, to bring him back to the Irishman._

_Roman spun Finn around getting a look at the intricate swirls on Finn’s back. But the main part of the design was in the center. A heart. Not the cartoon-ish ones. But an image of a real heart… being clutched by two strong hands. The hands held the heart, digging into it, stopping it from beating. They looked like his own hands._

_The image made Roman wince._

_Finn looked over his shoulder at the bigger man and the smile he had before was tragic in every way possible. It didn’t physically pull into a frown, but it didn’t have to. Roman could feel the pain in it._

_Roman opened his mouth to speak but no words came out._

_Then a foot came to his chest after Finn quickly turned around and drop kicked him hard. Roman fell back, eyes closing with a groan and cough._

_He could feel Finn crawl over him for a pin, but instead of the ref and crowd creating a buzzing energy that could kill the rest of his torn up emotions, Roman felt Finn’s hands warm his skin again._

_Opening his eyes, the arena lights were still blinding, but there was no crowd. No one was in the arena but him and Finn. Everyone was gone. The ring below his back was lined with black satin sheets, pillows scattered haphazardly. What? Anxious worry pulsed in his blood._

_A warm hand lifted to his face and smoothed the worry lines from the corners of his eyes. Roman leaned into the touch. It felt nice. It healed his anxiety riddled blood pressure. A calm unlike any other Roman had ever experienced settled in him and he looked to the owner of the hand, heart skipping a beat when he found the fond smile and easy eyes._

_Finn sat beside him, holding Roman’s face in one hand and caressing the other hand over Roman’s bare chest. The bigger man felt his breath hitch when finger brushed his nipple then travelled down to his equally naked hip._

_When had Finn taken off Roman’s pants?_

_Also a good question, when had Finn undressed his trunks, now sitting there in the center of the ring beside him, Balor’s paint on his back, and red kickpads and boots on his toned legs? It was a beautiful sight. One that invoked a thundering heart in Roman’s chest. This man before him was a vision under these lights on a weekly basis, but completely naked above the knee, Finn was unparalleled. A God of the ring in his own right._

_He had to gulp thickly as the hand on his hip brushed lightly down to his thigh. Finn squeezed the thick muscular leg as he leaned down, capturing Roman’s open and waiting lips._

_Eyes still open, Roman saw dark colors twist and twirl over Finn’s shoulders and neck. They were Balor’s paint continuing and stretching, writing words in an ancient language Roman couldn’t decipher. But he had a feeling they reflected the pain of the squeezed heart still burning Finn’s back where Roman couldn’t see._

_“Roman.”_

_Finn’s voice set him on fire. He burned with desire. He burned with lust and ...something else._

_Roman looked back up to Finn’s face as it hovered over him. Finn whispered to him in Irish. It rolled off his tongue like the waves Roman could still imagine dancing behind Finn’s blue-green eyes. He was mesmerized. Enchanted. Spellbound. Roman was completely taken in by those eyes._

_And not just now._

_No, before too._

_“Roman.”_

_Finn leaned down and kissed Roman, taking the bottom lip between his teeth and sucking on it tenderly. He sighed as Finn let go of his lip and slipped his hot wet tongue in his mouth, moving it around. Finn tasted like home in his mouth. Roman wanted to savor it. He wanted the taste to be his forever, this taste of familiarity and safety._

_Roman circled his arms around Finn’s tiny waist, pulling him to straddle the bigger man. There bodies melded together. The sound of their lips and tongues moving with one another blended in with the lapping waves Roman still heard. The seagulls cawed above._

_Did seagulls caw? Roman wondered. Or were they crows watching from the cheap seats, perched like guardians. Crows with dark features._

_As Roman’s hands gripped Finn’s plush ass, the images of crow’s feathers appeared on Finn’s chest, dancing in circles from invisible gusts of wind until they stopped, marring the fair skin with shiny inky black._

_Roman pushed Finn to sit up and he looked the man over, studying the designs on Finn that seemed to have a life of their own._

_As if reading Roman’s questioning eyes, Finn ran his hands down his own body teasingly. He spoke in another language. Irish. Roman has heard it enough over the years to get some idea that Finn was speaking his native tongue. But Roman knew he couldn’t understand it._

_But somehow, in some way, he did. He was listening to Finn speak and it didn’t even register in his mind until the last second that he shouldn't be able to comprehend the smaller man. But he was. He could hear Finn say that the crow brings battles and wars._

_Finn climbed off Roman’s lap, hard beautiful body sitting inches away, corded thighs spread and inviting Roman in._

_Again, Roman’s brows furrowed, ignoring the pull he felt to settle in against Finn. Battles? Wars?_

_Finn smirked. “My love for you, Roman, is a battle I keep falling victim to.” The words rolled around fair skin as if Roman could read them in the air, the Irish letters glittering white around Finn’s biceps._

_Roman’s chest ached. He reached out and grabbed Finn’s arms, hoping to block the words with his hands. Hoping they would write on his own skin, instead. He brought Finn in, tight against his body. They could feel each other’s heart beat. They could feel the blood pumping and flowing under sweat slicked skin. Roman circled his arms as tight as he could._

_He didn’t want to let go._

_“But you don’t love me, Roman.”_

_Roman’s hands clawed down Finn’s back, trying to take Finn’s pain riddled words away._

_“Roman.”_

_Roman looked at Finn as the smaller man shifted against him, letting their arousals rub together. It sent shivers up his spine. It felt so good. The fire that burned in him returned full force. Roman wanted more._

_And he will have what he wants._

_Their hips circled and moved so their hard cocks would continue to frot. The tension of Finn’s earlier words disappeared and the crows’ stares vanished from Roman’s imagination._

_“Roman, please.”_

_Finn’s needy voice begged him with just those two simple words. Finn was begging for him, to give him the pleasure and happiness he deserved._

_The smaller man pushed away from Roman’s arms easily, despite Roman’s harsh, strong hold. He propped himself on all fours, waiting for the bigger man to grace him with the thundering lust Roman felt booming in his own desire._

_Roman slipped into the waiting hole like it was where he belonged._

_The moans coming from Finn echoed off the empty arena walls. It only made Roman want to hear them more. They were brassy gravel. They were sweet thick honey. They were both at the same time. Finn’s moans coated Roman with feelings he couldn’t deny._

_A want._

_A need._

_A desire._

_An adoration beyond the lust he should only be feeling._

_Roman rocked into Finn, his cock disappearing into the lovely stretched hole. Then he’d pull out, take in Finn’s tiny whine, and push back in slow and fond._

_The designs on Finn’s back still displayed their sad story. A heart trapped by hands that looked like his own. Words that radiated heartache twisted around the velvet skin of Finn’s neck and arms. The black feathers of Finn’s battle with his heart._

_Roman hated to look at it. So he raked his hands down the arched spin, willing Balor’s paint to vanish forever. He didn’t want Finn to feel this way. He didn’t want to hurt Finn like this. He didn’t want Finn to hurt in anyway._

_Over and over, Roman ran his hands over the back, trying to blur the paint. He wanted to take the cursed paint onto himself to spare Finn the trouble. And as he thought that way, the paint started to recede, until it was finally completely gone except for a small word written at the base of Finn’s neck._

_A word Roman couldn’t read. He couldn’t tell you what it meant. He couldn’t say it, read it, or hear it. But he knew looking at the scawled Irish letters that it explained his feelings for the man beneath him. Roman knew._

_Once the paint was all but gone, Finn moaned in the sweetest voice known to earth. Roman continued thrusting until it was all he could think about._

_Aching for release, Roman let his hands wonder the body of this perfect man, taking the pulsing cock in his grip. He moaned feeling Finn’s pre-cum smear on the palm of his hand. Roman flicked his wrist, fingers sliding up and down the smooth skin, both soft and hard in his hand._

_With his other hand, Roman pulled Finn’s body back into him so that he sat in the bigger man’s lap. With skilled hands, Roman guided Finn’s hips up and down his cock. Deep thrusts had Finn coming apart at the seams. The older man’s body was jelly in Roman’s hold, leaning all the way back so his head pressed against the tattooed shoulder._

_Finn’s hands brushed whatever part of Roman’s skin he could find and reach, gripping and scratching as his orgasm barrelled though him. Roman’s hips bucked up into Finn’s heat when the smaller man’s hole tightened and pulsed around him._

_Tears streaked down Finn’s face as hot cum shot out and streaked the black satin covering the ring. An exhausted but satisfied cry escaped those ruby red colored lips and Roman arched his neck just enough to capture them in his, swallowing the gasping cries._

_Roman could feel his balls tighten and the nerve endings of his entire body felt like they were being shocked. He was going to cum._

_Fuck he was going to cum in Finn’s tight ass, coat him and mark him as his. Because Finn was his. Only Finn could take the stress and pain away from him and replace it with sweet gentle touches and a raspy voice currently speaking sweet nothings to him._

_“My love, My heart, cum for me. Be with me.”_

_Finn. Fuck. He never wanted to let Finn go. Roman groaned and panted, dropping his head back, letting it roll around in ecstacy before he leaned back in and kissed the Irish letters Balor’s paint had left at the base of Finn’s neck._

_He was almost there. He was almost Finn’s-_

* * *

  
Roman sat up in bed with a start. The alarm on his phone blared in the quiet hotel room.

He shut it off in a hurry, practically throwing it back onto the night stand.

Taking a second to get his bearings, Roman took deep breaths. He wasn’t sure why, but he was panting.

Did he have a bad dream?

He couldn’t remember.

But something ached between his legs and Roman had to laugh, bitter and annoyed.

No. Not a bad dream.

A really good dream, apparently.

A dream he wished he could recall so he could finish what it started.

He quickly jerked off, mind blank as it was still hazy from a night’s rest. It didn’t take long for him to cum. He had been hard as a rock already. Whatever he had dreamed of must have been amazing.

He wished he knew.

Because even though he just came into his hand, hard and intense, Roman somehow felt entirely unsatisfied. The ending did not match the build up of the dream, he frowned.

And that feeling of sexual frustration stayed with Roman for the rest of the day, that even Seth had to arch an eyebrow.

“Are you listening to No Diggity?” Seth asked the pissed off Roman, who’s headphones were blaring. When he got no answer, Seth shrugged.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uploaded this on my phone so i hope this is good. Enjoy guys!
> 
> Alsooooo i made a playlist on spotify. Its rsarp if you want to take a listen. I added in the songs you guys recommended. 
> 
> More stuff to come. Hopefully soon.


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